Dear secondary from hell....

[ButImLETired]

Dear UCSD secondary,

I appreciate the fact that you are trying to understand my background and where I come from. I think it's kinda cute that despite the fact that you're a HUGE research school you seem to care whether my parents owned a farm or rented a roach-infested inner city apartment (and don't think it's AT ALL awkward that I get to insert, filled with shame, "other- suburbia").
However, 10,000 character autobiography? SERIOUSLY? You're telling me that you're ACTUALLY going to read that. I don't believe you. I think you're trying to make me change my mind about applying because I haven't been published. I also think that you're going to ignore my secondary altogether and reject me. You know how that'll feel? Like you've rejected THE ENTIRE STORY OF MY LIFE, THAT'S HOW IT'LL FEEL!!!!!!

Love,
LET

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[Begaster]

10,000 characters? :O

That's ridiculous.

 

[schismal]

Christ, my life is not interesting enough for that.

 

[ButImLETired]

Indeed.

So bitch about your secondaries, people! You know there's at least one that makes you want to throw yourself over a tall, tall bridge...

 

[p30doc]

Dear UCSD secondary,

I appreciate the fact that you are trying to understand my background and where I come from. I think it's kinda cute that despite the fact that you're a HUGE research school you seem to care whether my parents owned a farm or rented a roach-infested inner city apartment (and don't think it's AT ALL awkward that I get to insert, filled with shame, "other- suburbia").
However, 10,000 character autobiography? SERIOUSLY? You're telling me that you're ACTUALLY going to read that. I don't believe you. I think you're trying to make me change my mind about applying because I haven't been published. I also think that you're going to ignore my secondary altogether and reject me. You know how that'll feel? Like you've rejected THE ENTIRE STORY OF MY LIFE, THAT'S HOW IT'LL FEEL!!!!!!

Love,
LET

Dear LET,

You were right.

Love,
UCSD

 

[ChubbyChaser]

Wayne state!!!

 

[ButImLETired]

Dear LET,

You were right.

Love,
UCSD

Hahahaha
mean, but....probably true. SIGH.

 

[Begaster]

Dear Feinberg,

Thank you for giving me three essay questions. When I wrote the first two, I thought, "whoo, nearly done!" Then I read number three. After completion of said reading, I realized that what you were asking was really very similar to my personal statement. So similar, in fact, that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place - do I paraphrase what I spent 5300 characters fleshing out in one third that, or use a much weaker example so that it is unique? I don't know. I've been staring at the Word cursor for three hours now, flashing. Always flashing. Flash. Flash. Flash. Perpetual and mocking.

Thank you.

 

[pianola]

Dear UCSD secondary,

I appreciate the fact that you are trying to understand my background and where I come from. I think it's kinda cute that despite the fact that you're a HUGE research school you seem to care whether my parents owned a farm or rented a roach-infested inner city apartment (and don't think it's AT ALL awkward that I get to insert, filled with shame, "other- suburbia").
However, 10,000 character autobiography? SERIOUSLY? You're telling me that you're ACTUALLY going to read that. I don't believe you. I think you're trying to make me change my mind about applying because I haven't been published. I also think that you're going to ignore my secondary altogether and reject me. You know how that'll feel? Like you've rejected THE ENTIRE STORY OF MY LIFE, THAT'S HOW IT'LL FEEL!!!!!!


Love,
LET

QFT

Dear School EveryPlace,

Your first essay question is frankly none of your business. Your second essay question cannot be answered properly until I've started third year clerkships. Your third question should be answered in my AMCAS. Your fourth question is a restatement of the first question. Your fifth question probably won't help you evaluate my ability to become a physician.

Best,
pianola

 

[Begaster]

qft

Dear School Everyplace,

Your First Essay Question Is Frankly None Of Your Business. Your Second Essay Question Cannot Be Answered Properly Until I've Started Third Year Clerkships. Your Third Question Should Be Answered In My Amcas. Your Fourth Question Is A Restatement Of The First Question. Your Fifth Question Probably Won't Help You Evaluate My Ability To Become A Physician.

Best,
Pianola

 

[disorder]

GAH! UCSD why do you hate us.

 

[ChubbyChaser]

1-10000character essay<<<<< 7 no limit essays for kentucky...gah it was terrible.

 

[p30doc]

QFT

Dear School EveryPlace,

Your first essay question is frankly none of your business. Your second essay question cannot be answered properly until I've started third year clerkships. Your third question should be answered in my AMCAS. Your fourth question is a restatement of the first question. Your fifth question probably won't help you evaluate my ability to become a physician.

Best,
pianola

You captured my feelings towards 90% of my secondaries, the other 10% had no essays. =)

 

[Monica Lewinsky]

10,000 characters is a maximum limit, you can write much less and do just as well. You should seriously relax.

 

[Nevadanteater]

Med Schools:

I am not special.
I am not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

Regards,
N/A

ps. His name is Robert Paulson.

 

[p30doc]

Med Schools:

I am not special.
I am not a beautiful or unique snowflake.

Regards,
N/A

ps. His name is Robert Paulson.

Does fight club count as volunteer experience?

 

[mdmarty]

I don't know; I thought UCLA's secondary was worse than UCSD's.

 

[Dulcina]

QFT

Dear School EveryPlace,

Your first essay question is frankly none of your business. Your second essay question cannot be answered properly until I've started third year clerkships. Your third question should be answered in my AMCAS. Your fourth question is a restatement of the first question. Your fifth question probably won't help you evaluate my ability to become a physician.

Best,
pianola

hahahha. man i like this thread.

 

[Dulcina]

by the way, LET, do you work with radiation?

LET = low energy transfer?

i tried checking mdapps, apparently theyre down right now

 

[LossForWords]

QFT

Dear School EveryPlace,

Your first essay question is frankly none of your business. Your second essay question cannot be answered properly until I've started third year clerkships. Your third question should be answered in my AMCAS. Your fourth question is a restatement of the first question. Your fifth question probably won't help you evaluate my ability to become a physician.

Best,
pianola

Well said. VERY well said.

 

[ar2388]

Well said. VERY well said.

i wholeheartedly agree. every school should be like UPenn and NYMC and Boston where everything is optioonal

 

[LossForWords]

i wholeheartedly agree. every school should be like UPenn and NYMC and Boston where everything is optioonal

Or at least put some reasonable character limit on the essays. Or in some cases, any character limit at all! Man, it's rough out there.

 

[riceman04]

My advisor at Penn made me do that already to get ready during the app process. So...no biggie for me

 

[pianola]

Dear School EveryPlace,

I'd just like to follow up on the great discussion and open dialogue we've been having. Since I know that you commonly accept criminals with a high rate of recidivism, you will be extraordinarily pleased to know that I have not committed any felonies, misdemeanors, or received institutional action since you received my AMCAS application 3 days ago.

Likewise, my strong ties to the Mafia have not yet caused me to enter a witness protection program. Therefore you may assume that my legal name, social security number, e-mail address, and permanent address remain the same. I will inform you promptly if I discover the need to change my legal name to "Mary Smith" and subsequently disappear into Little Town, USA.

Unfortunately for me, although my connections to the Mafia have enabled me to embezzle millions, none of my immediate Famiglia includes anyone at your school and my parents have NOT graduated from your fine institution. I do, of course, realize that this question could not possibly have any bearing on my candidacy at your fair and noble institution.

Thank you for your (lack of) interest in everything I've sent thus far. Do keep in touch.

pianola

 

[daniellema13]

Dear School EveryPlace,

I'd just like to follow up on the great discussion and open dialogue we've been having. Since I know that you commonly accept criminals with a high rate of recidivism, you will be extraordinarily pleased to know that I have not committed any felonies, misdemeanors, or received institutional action since you received my AMCAS application 3 days ago.

Likewise, my strong ties to the Mafia have not yet caused me to enter a witness protection program. Therefore you may assume that my legal name, social security number, e-mail address, and permanent address remain the same. I will inform you promptly if I discover the need to change my legal name to "Mary Smith" and subsequently disappear into Little Town, USA.

Unfortunately for me, although my connections to the Mafia have enabled me to embezzle millions, none of my immediate Famiglia includes anyone at your school and my parents have NOT graduated from your fine institution. I do, of course, realize that this question could not possibly have any bearing on my candidacy at your fair and noble institution.

Thank you for your (lack of) interest in everything I've sent thus far. Do keep in touch.

pianola

 

[daniellema13]

Dear top medschools of my choice,

I hate your stinkin guts. You make me vomit. Your scum between my toes.

Love, Alfalfa.

 

[daniellema13]

Dear schools again,

I realize my first response came out a bit harsh. You should know that I was in the midst of a very challenging moral dilemma which I overcame by expressing myself through writing. And speaking of writing, I’m great at it, er, passionate about it and do it all the time. Just to qualify, this is a hobby of mine outside of medicine that makes me special, and obviously a much better future physician. Did I mention how much stress I was under while facing that great ethical challenge? During this time I was also at work messing with the new hyperthermia machine, on the phone, drinking tea, and browsing SDN. Oh and writing, don’t forget about my special writing. Anyway, as you’ve no doubt deduced for yourselves, I’m a fabulous multi-tasker and work well under pressure. But I digress. In response to your question, I chose your school because I noticed you were ranked in the top 10 for extracting bull****. It just so happens that I have a lot of bull**** to give. Are you as excited as I am about our undeniable mutual relationship? In this regard I feel I am an excellent fit for this institution. And if you disagree, don’t worry, I’m adaptable. In fact I’ve adapted so much that I’m probably the most diverse person on the planet. It must be refreshing to come across a no-brainer in your decision making process. I’m special and diverse with amazing coping capabilities. What more could you want?

Cheers, Daniellma

 

[ButImLETired]

by the way, LET, do you work with radiation?

LET = low energy transfer?

i tried checking mdapps, apparently theyre down right now

Hahaha no, that would be much cooler than the truth, which is that those are just my initials. I had NO idea what to call myself when I had to pick a username.

 

[Karees]

Dear top medschools of my choice,

I hate your stinkin guts. You make me vomit. Your scum between my toes.

Love, Alfalfa.

love it

 

[roseglass6370]

Dear Med-Schools-That-I-Plan-to-Apply-to-in-a-Couple-of-Years,

If I wanted to spend my time writing 10,000 character autobiographies about myself (or writing period) I would've been an english major.

I didn't study Chemistry, Biology, and Physics so I could write my way into your top medical programs.

Sincerly,
RoseGlass

 

[engineeredout]

I wanna apply to a school that I don't care about that requires a 10,000 character autobiography and write one thats competely true. No bull**** that people put down to look good for med. I wonder what would happen.

What other schools require autobios that long?