Declining an acceptance and reapplying for 1st choice

[seavet]

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Hey folks--I'm in need of some advice, and hopefully this topic can be of assistance to others as well...😕

What are everyone's thoughts on declining an acceptance to a great school, your in-state school, in order to reapply to another school next year, because of a husband/wife?

Here's my situation: I was accepted to davis (my dream school), but it will no longer work for my significant other--so we were hoping I would get into UPenn, which works for both of us (but I didn't even get an interview). I basically moved out here to get into davis, did so, and now things have changed for my husband. I can't find anything out from Penn about improving my app. until the end of the month, and have to decide about davis before then. Won't my app to Penn next year look awfully indecisive and non-committal if they see that I declined a great offer from a great school? Isn't it quite likely that this is my only chance to go to vet school? I'd be crazy for declining davis, right?

If anyone has insight on the chances of reapplying to one school after declining a great acceptance offer, I would greatly appreciate your insight! Thank you!

 

[chris03333]

Hey folks--I'm in need of some advice, and hopefully this topic can be of assistance to others as well...😕

What are everyone's thoughts on declining an acceptance to a great school, your in-state school, in order to reapply to another school next year, because of a husband/wife?

Here's my situation: I was accepted to davis (my dream school), but it will no longer work for my significant other--so we were hoping I would get into UPenn, which works for both of us (but I didn't even get an interview). I basically moved out here to get into davis, did so, and now things have changed for my husband. I can't find anything out from Penn about improving my app. until the end of the month, and have to decide about davis before then. Won't my app to Penn next year look awfully indecisive and non-committal if they see that I declined a great offer from a great school? Isn't it quite likely that this is my only chance to go to vet school? I'd be crazy for declining davis, right?

If anyone has insight on the chances of reapplying to one school after declining a great acceptance offer, I would greatly appreciate your insight! Thank you!

Probably a REALLY bad idea.

 

[tiddlywinks]

yeah i'm gonna have to agree that declining a great offer like that is a really bad idea.

 

[thereservoirdog]

why won't it work for your husband? personally I would do everything I could do to make it work, but if that's not possible I would talk to someone at Penn and hear what they think about your application. If you don't think you have a good chance of getting into Penn next year, declining Davis would be really wasteful.

 

[seavet]

relationships aside, what about the reapplication chances alone--do i even stand a shot or is my application completely weakened if i decline a good offer this year?

 

[Vet2be2012]

If you decline Davis, I don't think it will hurt your chances of getting in for other schools, but it definitely will for Davis if you re-apply next year! They would be unlikely to accept you ever again unless you had a really good reason, in which relationship's don't apply to the good excuse list. 😕 I don't think the other schools would care that much though. They may not even know. I personally would dream to go to UC Davis. I didn't apply since I was out of state and didn't really stand a chance as an out of state residence. If you can make it work, though, that would be the best choice!

 

[RosieMoll3]

I don't think it's a horrible idea, as long as you can accept the possibility of having to wait 2 or 3 more years before you start vet school. I think most people here would tell you it's a bad idea, but ultimately you need to decide if your marriage is a higher priority than your career.

 

[wildfocus]

i've been married for about eight years now, and i wouldn't quite put it as your marriage versus your career, though (especially considering many, many marriages are successful despite - or maybe due to 😉- not living together). my husband and i will be living apart for a while as i start vet school, and i am looking at it as a blessing - a time to really focus on who i am and study hard. is it that you two will NEVER be able to make it work? or just temporarily? honestly, i wouldn't pass up davis if it is truly your dream school - everything else will work itself out.

 

[philomycus]

Interesting...I'd DEFINETLY make a personal appt to speak to the Dean ASAP, be open and honest and see what happens. Honesty is always the best policy, and they should respect your honesty.

 

[chris03333]

relationships aside, what about the reapplication chances alone--do i even stand a shot or is my application completely weakened if i decline a good offer this year?

One of the questions on VMCAS if I remember correctly is "have you ever been admitted to a veterinary school?" along with "Have you ever applied to vet school before". So if you answer these questions truthfully, all the schools you apply through VMCAS to (including Penn) will know. The schools do not take to kindly to information of declining an acceptance, it shows a weakness to your dedication to the field. Hopefully you can something worked out with your husband. good luck

 

[cyrille104]

Yeah, I think it would kill your chances. Even if they don't ask, they'll know - all the schools communicate.

 

[fromjersey]

How do you know that?

 

[Emio]

The schools do not take to kindly to information of declining an acceptance, it shows a weakness to your dedication to the field.

what about showing a strength of dedication to Penn? who knows... they might like it 🙂

can you put your deposit in at davis, and if you talk to the admissions dean at Penn and they say you may have a shot, retract from davis? sure, you're out 500 bucks and you'll most likely have blown your only shot at davis, but if Penn is where you want to go, to Penn you'll go.

 

[QTkitty]

OK, so I'm sure I'm out of place here as I'm sure you love your husband but whose choice is this really? You say that Penn is your first choice but then you go on about how Davis has been your dream and you moved out here to go there, etc. Regardless of how your application might go next year, why would you give up your dream? I really don't know your situation but it sounds like your husband is not being very supportive of your goals and hard work. Sorry if that came off horribly, I really don't mean it that way, but I don't understand how you could jeopardize this opportunity for anyone.

 

[Sassygirl]

IMHO it's a bad idea. Penn was really a wild card this year. They were simply flooded with qualified applicants and I know at least three people with awesome GPAs and experience that got thrown out on their butt, so to speak. If this trend continues you continues you could really be in trouble especially if you didn't get an interview this year.

Knowing that you were accepted and then declined will make the schools think twice about your dedication to the field. I think that before you turn down Davis you have to come to terms with the fact that you might have passed up your one shot...

 

[Angelo84]

Just an idea but maybe you can defer at Davis a year to get your husband's situation worked out? I don't know how defering works but it might be worth a shot. Otherwise I would deposit at Davis for now so you can talk to Penn.

Good luck

 

[ri23]

If I were you, I would contact Davis and thoroughly explain your situation. Ask if you can defer the acceptance for a year and then try to apply to Penn (assuming they let you, chances being slim in my opinion). I wouldn't lose out on a chance to attend a fantastic vet school that you love. The only way I would do it is if I could defer, but I'm not really a risk taker 😉 .

 

[lazyjayn]

Also, what's to say that when (if) you get into penn, or a year or two into school there, that area won't be right for him anymore, either?

And what the heck does he do that he can't do it in N. California?

Marriage (unless you've got some kinda kinky or abusive dynamic I don't want to know about) should NOT be about "I've got what might be my one chance for my dream, let me give it up for you." That's not love, and it's not healthy. Healthy and love is "I have what could very well be my one shot at my dream. Support me emotionally here for 4 years, and we can take my pretty mobile career and chase your dream." See the difference there? The way both people get some sense of fulfillment out of it? If course, if he has only one shot at his dream (his perfect mentor has moved halfway around the world and is dying) *right now* then you have to figure something else out. But that rarely happens.

Unless you're going off to care for you infirm aunt in some other state, or you have some major health issue, I doubt any school you apply to later (in the states) will take you seriously. After all, you got in, and turned another school down for essentially no reason.

But the person you really need to be talking about this with isn't on this board. And our opinions can only do so much.

j.

 

[InfiniVet]

*Agrees 150% with lazyjayn*

 

[2011vet]

I agree with lazyjayn too. There is no reason that the two of you can't work through this. One of my really good friend's parents spent their first year or so of marriage appart because her father was in the Marine's and was deployed out of the country. They have now been married for some 20+ years, and spent a good deal of that time appart because of his job. It was really hard and took a lot of work, but they showed that it could be done.

 

[Bill59]

As you already know, turning down an acceptance to apply as an out-of-state applicant is taking a huge risk that you may not get in next year .... or ever.

Only you and your other can decide if it's worth taking that risk.

Regarding applying to Penn, I'm not sure they would need to know about Davis. They usually ask if you've left any other programs for whatever reason, but I'm not sure that would apply here because until you accept the Davis offer, I don't think you're in the program.

 

[kate_g]

Regarding applying to Penn, I'm not sure they would need to know about Davis. They usually ask if you've left any other programs for whatever reason, but I'm not sure that would apply here because until you accept the Davis offer, I don't think you're in the program.

My memory of the VMCAS section is they ask you 1) have you ever applied before 2) have you ever been accepted before 3) have you ever enrolled before.

There are lots of reapplicants so #1 is not a big deal, and #3 would not apply, but #2 would be the one that gets her (unless she lies - but being caught in that lie would be really, really bad and not worth the risk). So the info is right there on the application.

 

[cyrille104]

How do you know that they communicate? Anything specific - or just guessing?

There were several threads from a while back where we discussed evidence of this - I forget the specifics

 

[TurboVet]

yeah, i was just wondering if anyone here actually spoke to an admissions officer about how it looks to have "been accepted before". maybe it really doesn't matter. i myself was thinking of deferring my acceptance to my 3rd choice school (i have a legit reason) and reapplying next year to other schools. i haven't heard any rules about that....yet.

 

[seavet]

wow, everyone--i never expected all these responses--and so quickly--i'm grateful for all of this insight! 😍
everyone's got valid points, and no--he's not an abusive jerk (and i'm not trying to sound like some spineless, ungrateful davis acceptee). i've felt all along that it would be impossible to decline davis. and he'll support me in that decision. but it's a very hard one to make b/c no matter how you slice it, it's going to be a long 4 years for him (we've been together through many tough times, long distance, etc. ALREADY). relationships require sacrifice, and if this is my only shot, well, that's too much to sacrifice. but i felt compelled to investigate the alternative, at the very least--because if it were possible to get in next year, going to penn isn't really much "sacrifice" at all. i'm going to try to get some more info from penn, but i have a feeling that reapplying is a long shot. again, THANKS everyone! despite all this, i'm still so excited that i have this opportunity! And i look forward to being future colleagues with all of you!

 

[seavet]

yeah, i was just wondering if anyone here actually spoke to an admissions officer about how it looks to have "been accepted before". maybe it really doesn't matter. i myself was thinking of deferring my acceptance to my 3rd choice school (i have a legit reason) and reapplying next year to other schools. i haven't heard any rules about that....yet.

Turbovet--I'll be sure to post what i can find out from penn about this--i went thru with posting this topic as a thread in hopes that it would be useful insight for everyone!

 

[ReinaDeLuz]

There were several threads from a while back where we discussed evidence of this - I forget the specifics

I was waitlisted for my state school (UF) and accepted to OK state...and a day or two after UF accepted me I got an email from OK state asking me whether I was going to go with UF or not....clearly, the schools communicate lol. Because i certainly hadn't told them yet!

 

[Bill59]

My memory of the VMCAS section is they ask you 1) have you ever applied before 2) have you ever been accepted before 3) have you ever enrolled before.

Then I stand corrected. Thanks.

 

[gemini55]

Would it be possible to attend Davis for a year and then look into transferring to Penn?

 

[runnerDC]

How do you know that they communicate? Anything specific - or just guessing?

The schools can and likely do communicate. Point #1 in the AAVMC's privacy policy with regards to VMCAS is:

"We disclose information provided in veterinary medical school applications to those schools the applicant designates. We also provide information about offers of admission and admission status among those schools the applicant designates."

See the full document at:
http://aavmc.org/vmcas/documents/AAVMCPrivacyPolicy.pdf

Hope this helps,
Jen

 

[JumptheMoon]

Would it be possible to attend Davis for a year and then look into transferring to Penn?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Penn doesn't accept transfer students.

 

[Capella]

The schools can and likely do communicate. Point #1 in the AAVMC's privacy policy with regards to VMCAS is:

"We disclose information provided in veterinary medical school applications to those schools the applicant designates. We also provide information about offers of admission and admission status among those schools the applicant designates."

See the full document at:
http://aavmc.org/vmcas/documents/AAVMCPrivacyPolicy.pdf

Hope this helps,
Jen

Indeed! In retrospect, conversations I had with school representatives make sense now. They new my application status at other schools while I didn't!

 

[RazorDoc2010]

I agree with a previous poster...the person you need to be talking to isn't on here. We can go all day giving you our view of everything (as I'm sure you've already seen), but in the end, we don't matter to your relationship. good luck getting it worked out!

On a side note, another example of schools communicating...

When I got accepted to one school, I got a call the next day where they mentioned me having heard from other schools. Actually, another school did the same thing now that I think about it and mentioned wanting to get our state students from going to the other schools they were accepted to.

 

[gemini55]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Penn doesn't accept transfer students.

OK, so the intent of my original post was to help you explore ways to open doors to your future rather than closing them. Penn doesn't take transfer students, but plenty of other good schools do (Tufts, OSU)....it's an option. I wouldn't turn my back on the opportunity to attend Davis. Go! Enjoy! It may work out beyond your wildest dreams. If it doesn't, and you want to be geographically closer, you could consider transferring.

 

[philomycus]

With my family situation now (lost my grandma 2 weeks ago) and my dad's health failing, I really really wanted to get into UF. Of course it's an awesome school, instate tuition, and now I need to be close to my family.

So if OK state lets me in and I decline this year to reapply to both OK state and UF next year, I am terrified both of them would reject me flat out. I thought about doing that for like 10 minutes and decided it was a CRAZY idea and I too may be giving up my one shot.

My husband also LOVES his job here and he could keep it, where in OK, everything would change. But if they take me, I know I have to go. I'm sure in the long run it'll all work out and I know OK has a great rep. too. When I think about, I'm thankful if I get in to one place.

So my advice from someone who's kinda in the same boat....you better go to Davis. Just my .02.

 

[UpstateNY27]

Man, you are in a difficult spot. I can't imagine being in your position-deciding between your academic/career dreams and your, how we say in Spanish, "media naranja", which translates to "the other half of your orange".

Anyway, I can't presume to tell you what to do. So, all I can tell you is what I would do in your situation.

First, I don't think your situation is a matter of finding a right answer. Whatever you decide to do, you NEED to make it the right answer. It seems like whatever you chose, staying at Davis, or following your man, there will be one piece of the puzzle missing. However, I wonder if in the long run you can find all the pieces to your puzzle. I think you may be able to, it is just going to require the appropriate plays at the appropriate times to get you there.

Davis is a phenomenal school with a phenomenal reputation. I am sure you would find an exceptional education there. However, you already know that! But the question is, are you willing to take a risk with it? Are we sure that you'll be able to get into Penn if you decline Davis? I don't think so. I don't think anyone knows. Maybe you will, maybe you won't.

Here are the two options I would take if I was confronted with a similar situation.
1. Like other people have said here. Defer for one year. This will give you time to come up with a great offense and defense and evaluate all of your options to their fullest extent. Maybe the future will open up an opportunity for your man somewhere close to Davis.

2. Go to Davis for the first year. Perform at the top of your class, and I mean to the best of your abilities, and then meet with other potential schools. I would even give a shot to Penn. I have learned that most rules are strong suggestions. I would make an appointment directly with the dean and admissions coordinators of the schools where you could be closer to your husband. Show then your full potential and great grades you have obtained at Davis. If worse comes to worse then you'll just finish the next three years at Davis. If things go well, then you get what you wished for. And hopefully you have not lost a year.

Again, that sucks that you are in your position. I can't tell you that I know what it is like. However, Davis is an awesome school. Really make sure that you are doing the right thing for yourself before you pass up this opportunity. Just remember, whatever you chose, make it that choice the right decision.

I wish you the best! 🙂

 

[cyrille104]

Unfortunately, Penn does not take transfer students, but that doesn't mean you can't transfer to a school like Tufts, which is at least within driving distance from Philly (or NYC, wherever it is your SO will be)

 

[JIKJen124]

When I was working at the small animal ER at Penn, I definitely met a non-trad student (I think she was in her 40s), who came to Penn for her 4th year from Davis because of something pertaining to her husband. I'm not sure whether she was at Penn as a visiting student or was a full transfer. It certainly seems possible, given you have good reason, to spend part of your time there. You might want to look at that as an option.