deferred student seeking advice: how do you know if it's right?

[mercury029]

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Hello all; I'm new to this website and was hoping that I picked the right forum to ask my questions. I graduated from college last May and was granted a one-year deferral from a med school. I wanted to take time off to explore research, generally take a break from school, and try to figure out if becoming a physician really is the right choice. Who knew finding a short-term research position would be so hard!

Sooooooo here's my dilemma. I'm very interested in science, and I love working with people. I think healing would be an amazing profession. But for so long now I've questioned if I can really handle the sacrifices that go along with becoming a physician. The biggest is wondering if I will have time to start a family. I know that it is something that I definitely want to do and if my career stood in the way of my family, I'd choose to care for my family. Such decisions for women. I've brought this before many a health-care worker and they always say things like "Be a dermatologist! They have great pay and nice work hours." But I think I'd be interested more in something like pediatrics or mental health.

My second qualm is just the determination itself. I shadowed various docs (cardiologist, pulmonologist, internist, pediatrician, ophthamologist, and a general practicioner) and I wasn't sure if I felt that...spark. You know, that "wow this is what I could do for the rest of my life!!!!" thing. Another big reason why I didn't want to take away a slot in this year's M1 class from another student who knew for sure that he or she wanted to go to med school. If I'm not sure about my WANT for the job, will I have the stamina to even get through med school?

Another question I get asked is "Well, what would you do otherwise?" To that I don't really have an answer yet. But I don't want this lack of a "better" plan to be the reason why I go to med school.

So any advice is wholeheartedly welcomed. Fears you have/had, if they were resolved, personal stories; anything to give a little perspective to a person who is almost at the end of the line with worry.

Thank you.

 

[Retro]

Don't think too much... there are too many buts and ifs in life, and if you try to worry too much about them, you will be crazy. I once know this woman who is a M.D./Ph.D. student and planned her life out far in advance, i.e. I will do this and this first, and during this time, I will be married, and during this one year period, I will have free time to get pregnant and have a child... etc. She thinks she is in full control of her life... but honestly, it is usually those types that develop clinical depression when her plan was marred by an unplanned event. Anyway, no one is really sure if medicine is really for them in our class; but again, who really knows anything for certain in life. So just do it!