[Deleted post]

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...

I say this with no sense of irony-
Jesus. Christ.

...okay maybe a little bit of irony.
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...
You have really low self esteem.
Why not work on yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Guys are not attracted to girls with low self esteem. He knows he has you for as long as he wants. You're trapped because you feel like you can't do better.

Break up with him and work on yourself

Edit: you remind me of girls who stay with ****ty guys thinking they can fix them
 
Ouch some harsh responses on this thread😱

OP, a boyfriend is someone who should support you in everything you do, and that gels or at least tolerates with the things you value the most. This guy doesn't so in my humble opinion I dont think he is worth your time.

When you get to med school you will be busy yes, but many people before you have gone to med school single and eventually settled down. Unless you are some sort of serial killer I think you will be fine:laugh:

Essentially: Focus on yourself and pursue people who complement you, and bring you up rather than down.🙂
 
Chromium Surfer said:
Ouch some harsh responses on this thread😱

OP, a boyfriend is someone who should support you in everything you do, and that gels or at least tolerates with the things you value the most. This guy doesn't so in my humble opinion I dont think he is worth your time.

When you get to med school you will be busy yes, but many people before you have gone to med school single and eventually settled down. Unless you are some sort of serial killer I think you will be fine:laugh:

Essentially: Focus on yourself and pursue people who complement you, and bring you up rather than down.🙂
Click to expand...
I mean, I guess. It doesn't make a difference what anyone on here says. No matter what, she's gonna stay with him unless he breaks up with her first.
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...

I can't speak for everyone as far as relationships go, but I think it's best to always make sure you can see eye to eye or compromise on the big four:
Money
Sex
Religion
Kids

I have some pretty intense views on the last two... and knowing this I have to be careful about who I decide to move forward with seriously. It just gets you into trouble later on ignoring huge differences in any of these (and I'm sure there are more).
 
kittycat007 said:
my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy
Click to expand...
Also wtf is this...? Sorry if this is harsh but that is just not rational thinking at all.
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...

If you are going to medical school and you have your values, there is probably someone else in medical school with your values.

If you can't find someone in medical school to date who shares your values, you can look outside of medical school.

With men, like women, there is significant variation. Some men, just like some women, will be awful. It's your job, as an intelligent and probably socially adept person, to use your eyes, ears, and possibly even your nose to weed out the people you won't be compatible with. We can't help you with that.
 
People have dated, married, and had kids during medical school. You'll be fine.
https://students-residents.aamc.org...e/what-its-get-married-during-medical-school/

kittycat007 said:
#1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen
Click to expand...
You date boys, not men. That's your problem.

kittycat007 said:
#2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...
Family members will comfort you when you're stressed out, take care of you when you're sick, spend time with you unconditionally, listen to your problems... You're not going to find someone that fulfills all of these things. That's a relationship you're going to have to build over the course of years. . . I hope that tempers your expectations.
 
Op is either a robot, or a very conservative socially inept individual.

If the dude hates the top three things that you look for most in a relationship...you might be dating the wrong guy.
If the dude says he wouldn't mind breaking up with you after three days....you might be dating the wrong guy.
If the dude speaks his mind and you are crying because of it...you might be dating the wrong guy

Drop the dude, and try dating some other men....if you're not a robot....
 
Dude sounds like a D-bag lol. Dump his ass and find someone who appreciates you. You'd be surprised what you find when you look
 
gonnif said:
Just a comment to all in this thread. The maturity and emotional experience of those from high school thru young adult can vary widely and as prospective physicians you have some awareness and sensitivity to this fact. This may apply even more so who have spent much of their college years being a serious student and not being in many serious relationships. Additionally, as most girls will tell you, guys seem to mature behind women in their teen years. Right now I am advising a 16 female year old college junior (yes 16 years old) who has the maturity of woman who has been through 3 divorces. Last year I had a 30 plus year old advisee who was actually a divorcee in a 10 year marriage with the first man she ever dated. She had never done any "real" dating and was completely clueless on how to do so. BTW, the latter just met the love of her life in her first year of medical school, a lawyer, go figure.
Click to expand...

But this is SDN, not exactly a haven for sensitivity. The post sounds like it should be coming from a 14 year old girl figuring out how dating/the world work, not someone in their gap year. Seems pretty reasonable to 😵😵😵

Regardless if she needs someone to tell her for the first time to respect and love herself and that life doesn't end when you're 25 and all the other cliches that are actually true, it should probably come from a loved one not the creeps on SDN. Looking at you @The Knife & Gun Club
 
break up with him... not understand how this is even a question
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...


You will meet many, many other guys. Yes there are many chances to date. Just work on your time management. A lot of people are taken but many relationships do not last through the stress and headaches of professional school. Youre going to be really busy when you start so that will help distract you.
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...
What?... Are you sure you're even mentally ready to date anyone period with that thinking?
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...
Dating in med school works pretty much like dating anywhere else. It sounds like you're keeping this guy around because you are afraid of being alone more than anything, which is not healthy. You two are clearly not on the same page, and trying to force this square peg of a relationship into the round hole that is marriage or something long term is really going to end poorly. There's plenty of other fish in the sea, find one that actually likes you for you damn it.
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...
sorry to say this, but are you really emotionally ready to become a physician?
 
There are nice guys out there. You may not find them in medical school. You may not find them during residency but they will still be there when you are 28 or 30 and you'll both be ready.

If your religion is important to you, finding a singles group of members of your faith community might be a good plan. It worked for me. 😉 I met my husband at an event we both attended. The likelihood that our paths would have otherwise crossed was very remote.
 
gonnif said:
Kind of my point: Instead we should listen to what is presented and respond appropriately without placing expectations of assumed levels of maturity, experience, etc. Go to your patient's point of view not your own. And yes, this SDN, student doctor network. Occasionally you should remember that you are all prospective physicians and perhaps applying a little of that here to people who present a personal emotional issue.
Click to expand...

All of that is completely true, it's just never what happens here. If you manage to convince people on SDN to provide empathetic and affirming advice to all posters I'm on board. Don't know how likely that is though, and personally I don't hate the "if someone says something ridiculous then call it ridiculous" attitude.
 
There's a Jack for every Jill in this world. This isn't your Jack. Dump his ass now.


kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...

If your faith is important to you and is an integral part of how you see yourself being happy in the future then do not continue dating this guy.
 
JustAPhD said:
@Mad Jack 😉
Click to expand...
Goro said:
An excellent match! Listen, he's going to be a doctor!
Click to expand...
:laugh: Definitely not the Jack they're looking for
mindtrick.gif
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys, thanks for all of your comments. I just broke up with him today. We have been arguing nonstop in the past 2 weeks and I have been crying every other day. But starting today, I will focus on other things for a while. Just spent a good hour talking to someone from my medical school about genetics and nutrition!

Ex boyfriend offered to go on a road trip with me next week as "friend" but with "benefits", because he does not believe in a "title", but he's reluctant about the "benefits" because I appear to be stressed from working so much in my gap year job. I am not going with him any more. I also won't attend his graduation. I will go on this trip by myself or with other friends. Your encouragements have greatly helped with my dilemma and I was able to see the situation with a more clear perspective.
Click to expand...
Good luck and stay optimistic kittycat, you've got better and grander things ahead of you!
 
**** him. And I mean that figuratively, not literally. The further you get away from him, the better.


kittycat007 said:
Hey guys, thanks for all of your comments. I just broke up with him today. We have been arguing nonstop in the past 2 weeks and I have been crying every other day. But starting today, I will focus on other things for a while. Just spent a good hour talking to someone from my medical school about genetics and nutrition!

Ex boyfriend offered to go on a road trip with me next week as "friend" but with "benefits", because he does not believe in a "title", but he's reluctant about the "benefits" because I appear to be stressed from working so much in my gap year job. I am not going with him any more. I also won't attend his graduation. I will go on this trip by myself or with other friends. Your encouragements have greatly helped with my dilemma and I was able to see the situation with a more clear perspective.
Click to expand...
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys, thanks for all of your comments. I just broke up with him today. We have been arguing nonstop in the past 2 weeks and I have been crying every other day. But starting today, I will focus on other things for a while. Just spent a good hour talking to someone from my medical school about genetics and nutrition!

Ex boyfriend offered to go on a road trip with me next week as "friend" but with "benefits", because he does not believe in a "title", but he's reluctant about the "benefits" because I appear to be stressed from working so much in my gap year job. I am not going with him any more. I also won't attend his graduation. I will go on this trip by myself or with other friends. Your encouragements have greatly helped with my dilemma and I was able to see the situation with a more clear perspective.
Click to expand...


Block him. So pathetic of him.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile
 
kittycat007 said:
Hey guys,

I am a girl and I started dating a boy during my gap year. I will start medical school in August and we talked about the future of our relationship today. He tells me that he is absolutely never going to get married to anyone, never going to have children. He also feels a strong dislike for God, and he finds every opportunity to reminds me of that. Marriage, children, and my religion are 3 of the most important things to me. He also told me that if we break up, then he won't feel sad (maybe 3 days maximum). That made me cry... my biggest fear is that when I start medical school, one of 2 things will happen #1) boys will only date me when I am fun, young, and successful, but then they will leave me when bad situations happen #2) no boy will date me because I will be so stressed out and busy. This boy cares about me when I get sick, spends appropriate amount time to hang out with me, and listens to my problems. I am just curious as to how dating works in medical school. Will girls have plenty of opportunity to date, or are all the guys taken already? Any other advice will be helpful too... thanks
Click to expand...
sounds like a great boyfriend. It sounds like you already know the answer to your issue. Find the guts to make the decision. Asking SDNers for relationship advice is like asking a neurologist to cure Alzheimer's-- you know that it is futile yet you are so desperate you accept any BS they have to offer. And I say that respectfully =D
 
Friends with benefits never works out, and friends with benefits with an ex ends even more poorly.
 
Hey! @Goro changed his pic!.....oh yea the post......OP dump him like everyone says negativity isn't something you need to enter med school with
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

R
Deleted
Replies
1
Views
547
wysdoc
wysdoc
D
deleted
Replies
1
Views
510
AJS59
AJS59
D
  • Question Question
[DELETED]
Replies
3
Views
752
Mr.Smile12
Mr.Smile12
R
  • Question Question
deleted
Replies
2
Views
584
Goro
Goro
R
  • Locked
Deleted
Replies
8
Views
1K
Goro
Goro
Top