So I guess that I am kind of venting, and I apologise. Maybe I am just having one of those days. End of the first year of residency, tired, stressed, worried that I am not 'getting it' (although according to everyone I am working with I am doing fine, even doing very well in some areas.) Feel that I can't keep up with the reading, and when I do and learn something, it has a half life of about a month and disappears while on another rotation. Anyone ever wish they had picked a less stressful route? I was originally shooting for physical therapy, prior to applying for medical school; I sometimes wonder what my life would be like had I chosen that. Maybe less interesting/challenging, but I probably would be more comfortable and a whole lot less stressed from day to day, and I can always find interesting/challenging hobbies that I don't have time for right now! I feel right now, if it were not for wife/kids I could easily just walk (!) and go into something much easier. Demotivated...!
You might feel a bit better starting July 1 when the new first years start, and you realize how clueless you were 12 months ago.
I totally get the short half-life of knowledge thing you're talking about. Unfortunately, that's a byproduct of our somewhat disjointed training programs. Pathology is naturally disparate like that. Surg path one month and micro the next... You will "get it" though...eventually. It seems like sometime late 2nd year to early 3rd year is when this happens for most people. The day will come when you throw down a slide and it just makes sense. What can I say about stress though. Every job has it and you learn to deal with it.
