Dental Student Dating a Medical School Student??

organichemistry

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I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years and currently live 2 hours from where she lives.

She is starting undergrad at her hometown while I will be starting dental school in 2007 at the same school.

Her plan is to go to medical school.

I've got a few questions which specifically apply to couples in professional schools. And yes, I realize this is a long, long way away... but we are deeply in love, have discussed marriage, family, etc

Sometimes I think it won't put too much strain on the relationship because as a dental student I will understand the studying she will have to go through as a medical student... and vice-versa. Could it be favorable?

Would the debt be too great. We could conceivably be staring at $300,000-$400,000 in debt. Could we have trouble getting loans to even make such an adventure? I feel confident we could (eventually) pay it off because by the time she was a 3rd or 4th year resident (making about $50k), I would probably be at the 100,000 level or higher. Still, could this be too much debt?

Any other advice from people in similar situations is GREATLY APPRECIATED!

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I don't think it would be too strenuous for both of you to be in med/dental school. The two of you could support each other. I think a lot depends on your relationship.

As for the money, you should have NO problem getting loans. Come on...a dentist and a medical doctor, anyone who gives out loans knows that the two of you will be making a lot of money and that you should have no problems paying it back.

They are usually generous to dentist and doctors because they know you will make money.

I'm pre-dental too so---->Good luck!
 
I would second the "don't worry about the loans." First of all, I don't think you would have a problem getting them. Second of all, if you really love this person--it shouldn't really matter to you anyhow. If there is a will, there is a way. :)
 
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HI,

This is an old post, but I am going to respond anyway, because my husband and I have been in a very similar situation that you and your girlfriend may end up in.

I am graduating from med school in a few weeks, and he is a second year dental student. Our schools were about 1.5 hours apart and we lived in a town half way in between.

We were able to get a loan to buy a house in February even though we were both still students and I wasn't going to start my residency until late June. We bought closer to the place where I am doing residency, and his commute will be about the same or maybe a little bit longer as it was from our old town but he only has two years left and I will have a resident's hours to deal with.

We are facing 250-350 K in debt when it is all said and done but feel good about our ability to pay it off with the income potential we have.

We are both on our way to having careers that we love and I wouldn't trade our decision to do both for anything. We've been living quite comfortably on our loan income and believe that life doesn't begin when school ends. It has worked for us so far. Good luck!
 
kaikai128 said:
I would second the "don't worry about the loans." First of all, I don't think you would have a problem getting them. Second of all, if you really love this person--it shouldn't really matter to you anyhow. If there is a will, there is a way. :)

Mmmkay, Im gonna have to go ahead and disagree. Im applaud the OP on being such a forward thinker in terms of debt and relationships as an economic reality. I think your concerns are very valid and require significant consideration of money (if any) or property either of your parents could give you if you do ever happen to get to the marriage level. I have no idea how serious the relationship is, but I have been in the same situation and walked away from what was likely a financial black hole.

As a man today dealing with the prospects of an insane housing market, dwindling reimbursements and increasing cost of doing business, thinking of marriage and commitment to his wife's financial well being and those of the potential offspring can be a staggering decision for any but the wealthiest.

The fact predatory lenders will give future docs blank checks to spend makes this even worse! Its a mini-version of the foreign lending that occurred with countries in South America that has left their financial future in taters.

Moving forward in a relationship with someone carrying a train of 200+ grand of debt given the way interests will likely continue to go up would like facing a fight to death Kung Fu match with Bruce Lee. Its one thing for a man to say Ive got debt but barring disability (and professional disability insurance covers this) I will work full time and pay this. But a woman could say she wants to stay at home, have kids and work part time, which can be a disaster in the making if she is training big debt on your a$$.

Most would and do piss their pants and run.

Trust me, theres no shame in that. No shame.
 
OK, I'm still pre-med and finishing up community college, so I know jack $#!+ about this stuff... but I can talk to you as a married 31 year old with life experience.

Here's how I see it:

* she's going to be hugely in debt whether you stay together or not.
* you're going to be hugely in debt whether you stay together or not.
* so why not just stay together?

You can stay together without being legally married, if you're waiting to wade through financial aid issues and stuff. I know a couple that was together almost eight years before marriage for that reason, because they met in college and then both went to law school.

I'm assuming you're worried about marriage because of debt, credit ratings, financial aid, et cetera.

I'm also assuming you're not religiously conservative or anything. So why not live together when you can manage it? It's more of a commitment, plus you get to save some money.

And just because it may not be good right now to get *legally* married doesn't mean you can't be engaged, or even have a *wedding* and wear each other's ring - let's learn something from the gay people here. Legal marriage does NOT equal social marriage. You can have a commitment ceremony.

Some straight people do it - ones who want to be socially married but for some reason don't want to take on the other partner's bad credit or lose benefits they get to keep by being legally single (such as social security or disability). Or, they don't want to lose their student aid benefits! The only caveat is that in "common-law marriage" states, holding yourself out as married = married.

Why break up with her unless it's a bad relationship?

Realistically, who else is going to understand what she is going through as a med student, and what you are going through as a dental student, but each other - or someone like her, or like you. And then, you'll still end up dealing with twice the student aid debt anyway whether you are with her or not.

At least she has good earning potential and will be able to stand on her own two feet. Sure, you're both going to be dealing with lots of student debt, but think about it, you're both in probably some of the only careers where you can ever expect to pay *off* your loans.

You two could eventually have a pretty good life.
 
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