Depressed. Should I give up?

[diiy1234]

I'm a non-traditional student. I'm currently pursuing a second bachelor's degree, since I earned my first bachelor's degree in a foreign country. So far, I have uGPA 4.0 and sGPA 4.0. The US college let me transfer many credits, so I am 1 or 2 semesters away from getting my second bachelor's degree. I registered to take the MCAT in Jan, 2015. I have solid ECs (clinical volunteering, non-clinical community service, research, leadership, etc.)
Recently, I started to feel depressed and unmotivated, partially due to the fact that my husband move to another state far away to attend medical school (east coast to west coast). Also, the prerequisites that I am taking right now are courses that I got A's before in my home country. I cannot stop blaming myself if I get a grade that is lower than 100 for any single exam or quiz. I know it is unreasonable to want a 100 in every single quiz, but I cannot stop it.
I never experienced depression before. Feeling depressed only taking the prerequisites and preparing for the MCAT scares me. I know that medical school has a much rigorous curriculum. I am frightened by the idea of not having any free time and having to study almost 24/7. Also, the idea that I have to live far away from my husband for many years (medical school + residency) is frightening.
Should I give up on medical school? Should I finish my second bachelor's degree or should I quit and move with my husband? I really want to be a physician though, but I am not sure how much I am willing to sacrifice for it.

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[WildZoo]

I'm a non-traditional student. I'm currently pursuing a second bachelor's degree, since I earned my first bachelor's degree in a foreign country. So far, I have uGPA 4.0 and sGPA 4.0. The US college let me transfer many credits, so I am 1 or 2 semesters away from getting my second bachelor's degree. I registered to take the MCAT in Jan, 2015. I have solid ECs (clinical volunteering, non-clinical community service, research, leadership, etc.)
Recently, I started to feel depressed and unmotivated, partially due to the fact that my husband move to another state far away to attend medical school (east coast to west coast). Also, the prerequisites that I am taking right now are courses that I got A's before in my home country. I cannot stop blaming myself if I get a grade that is lower than 100 for any single exam or quiz. I know it is unreasonable to want a 100 in every single quiz, but I cannot stop it.
I never experienced depression before. Feeling depressed only taking the prerequisites and preparing for the MCAT scares me. I know that medical school has a much rigorous curriculum. I am frightened by the idea of not having any free time and having to study almost 24/7. Also, the idea that I have to live far away from my husband for many years (medical school + residency) is frightening.
Should I give up on medical school? Should I finish my second bachelor's degree or should I quit and move with my husband? I really want to be a physician though, but I am not sure how much I am willing to sacrifice for it.

This is a question you can only really answer for yourself. These kinds of decisions are deeply personal, and no two people are going to have the exact same priorites.

That being said, I would urge you to talk to someone, a counselor at your school perhaps, about how you are feeling and get advice for how to deal with it. It is definitely not healthy to expect so much of yourself in these classes, even though you took them before and did well. You need to readjust your thinking and your expectations. Strive for As certainly, but you cannot expect yourself to get 100s on everything.

To answer your real question, I would say don't give up just yet. Think about your options here. Think about what you want, and the sacrifices you are willing to make to get it. Everyone who goes down this path will sacrifice something, and that is frightening. It may take you some time to decide whether it is worth it to you. I wish you the best of luck in your decision.

 

[QofQuimica]

Sounds to me like maybe what you need is a break from school and a vacation to go visit your husband.

 

[brainnurse]

Hi. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Depression is a terrifying monster that can be difficult to beat. Please, please, go talk to a counselor who will be able to give you more targeted and specific advice on what you should do for the sake of your health. Most colleges and universities offer confidential counselling sessions for students. This is a long and hard road, and you are right to worry about how it will impact your life. However, when that worry turns into outright depression accompanied by the immense pressure you are putting on yourself (on top of the stress this non-trad pre-med road already comes with AND your long-distance marriage), it would be wise to seek the help and resources already available to you. Like WildZoo said, this is a question only you can answer, but a counselor might be able to help you come to a solution that will work for your particular situation.

Sending you some positive vibes. <3

 

[jakeislove]

Of course you're depressed, LOL! This path means you're committing to a long distance marriage.

 

[Goro]

Depression is poorly managed on anonymous internet message boards. get help NOW!!!!!

I'm a non-traditional student. I'm currently pursuing a second bachelor's degree, since I earned my first bachelor's degree in a foreign country. So far, I have uGPA 4.0 and sGPA 4.0. The US college let me transfer many credits, so I am 1 or 2 semesters away from getting my second bachelor's degree. I registered to take the MCAT in Jan, 2015. I have solid ECs (clinical volunteering, non-clinical community service, research, leadership, etc.)
Recently, I started to feel depressed and unmotivated, partially due to the fact that my husband move to another state far away to attend medical school (east coast to west coast). Also, the prerequisites that I am taking right now are courses that I got A's before in my home country. I cannot stop blaming myself if I get a grade that is lower than 100 for any single exam or quiz. I know it is unreasonable to want a 100 in every single quiz, but I cannot stop it.
I never experienced depression before. Feeling depressed only taking the prerequisites and preparing for the MCAT scares me. I know that medical school has a much rigorous curriculum. I am frightened by the idea of not having any free time and having to study almost 24/7. Also, the idea that I have to live far away from my husband for many years (medical school + residency) is frightening.
Should I give up on medical school? Should I finish my second bachelor's degree or should I quit and move with my husband? I really want to be a physician though, but I am not sure how much I am willing to sacrifice for it.

 

[jl lin]

^Totally true. Don't waste time. See your doctor or a sound clinician in psychiatry ASAP. Waiting too long can make the difference between life and death, seriously.

 

[Psych2MD]

Agreed. Wouldn't you tell a patient to seek help? Do that first, before making the decision to move on from a dream you're clearly serious about.