Depression in Vet School

[klicka]

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Hey all,
I am in my first year, but I am struggling a lot with depression. I cannot focus on school work, all I do is sleep. I have wanted to do this for so long and now that my dream has come true, I should be happy but I am not.
I am taking meds and they are helping, but it still feels weird. I should be happy- without drugs.
Does anyone else feel this way?

 

[sofficat]

You are not alone. A few girls in my class are going through very similar things. We have counseling available at our school. Do you have something like that?
Personally I cannot relate... my husband is very supportive and (this might sound weird) I am a Christian, so that helps out a lot knowing that someone is watching out for me.
Hang in there. You're finally in vet school! Good luck.

 

[Electrophile]

My main advice is to go find someone trusted you can talk to. Our vet school has now partnered with a PhD psychologist that we can make appointments with if we need to discuss stuff. If you have a similar option, sooner than later is the way to go! In the mean time, take it one day at a time, try to eat well, get enough rest, work out when you can, and just remember...it's better to have a C average and be relatively sane than an A or B average and completely and utterly burnt out.

 

[critterfixer]

Definitely check out your school's counseling resources. I have met with our school psychologist on 3 occasions this semester. My daughter is severely depressed and it is making it very, very difficult for me to focus on school work. I went through a few weeks of the apathy and inability to make myself care. She helped me to put things in perspective. At the very least, I promised her I would get a minimum of 6 hours sleep per night, eat protein every morning, take my B vitamins, and try to get either exercise or fun in at least twice a week. I haven't been able to work in the exercise, but I am managing to have more fun. It's very important to schedule balance into your life, if that makes sense.

It's especially hard if your don't have a peer group. I really don't. I am friendly with several people, but have not really made any friends at school, so I get lonely at times and don't know where to turn for support when I just want to fall apart. I have found that in addition to the psychologist, several of my professors have been good to talk to. Have you reached out to anyone for support?

I refuse to allow myself to sabotage this, so I just keep on plugging along. I feel very stressed at times and even left a class in tears one day last week, but it's a matter of putting one foot in front of the other, and just keep on going. I am glad you are taking medication to get you over the hump. But you really need to find some support, if you haven't already.

Big hugs to you!

 

[alliecat44]

You are definitely not alone. I've been in counseling for several months now, and it's made a world of difference. Since you are on medication, I assume you have a therapist/psychiatrist you can talk to, which is definitely the first step.

Also, just as critterfixer mentioned, having a peer group is important. Easier said than done, I know--my own problems were compounded by having no social life or people I felt i could lean on within a thousand miles. However, people who care really ARE out there, and sometimes in the unlikeliest of places.

I'll never forget the classmate who came into the bathroom where I had been sobbing alone for twenty minutes and gave me a hug without any pressure. I barely knew this girl, and it was obvious she cared. Of course, that made me cry harder!

You can do this. You have waited your entire life to do this. No, "it WASN'T supposed to be like this"--but it IS supposed to be like this. therein lies a key difference. You are accomplishing your dream, and do NOT lose sight of that. You are strong and powerful and brave enough to get help. You are brilliant and talented and with a lot of hard work, will make it through your program. There is a reason they chose you.

Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.

**hugs**

 

[Steelmagghia]

Hey all,
I am in my first year, but I am struggling a lot with depression. I cannot focus on school work, all I do is sleep. I have wanted to do this for so long and now that my dream has come true, I should be happy but I am not.
I am taking meds and they are helping, but it still feels weird. I should be happy- without drugs.
Does anyone else feel this way?

I haven't started vet school yet, but I can tell you as a clinically depressed person that it is possible to feel normal with the right medication and treatment. I promise!
Make sure you go to a doctor who actually understands depression and isn't just going to throw the latest pills at you. Keep track of your symptoms when you start anything new (including treatment through non drug means, like exercise regimes and therapy) and let your doctor/psychiatrist/therapist know if anything changes or if you're not feeling 100%. Also, if you do go the medication route (and I have to say, I love my meds), make sure that if you go off the medication for any reason, you do it SLOWLY. Take it down over the course of a month or two or you will end up worse and you will have to jump right back on the meds.
If you have any specific questions, PLEASE, feel free to PM me.

 

[QHluver77]

I would definitely recommend making sure that you do something fun and not school related at least once or twice a week. That helps me to stay sane, and I think that I focus better when I actually go to study if I do that. Cheer up, nicer weather is comming, and with more sun melatonin levels increase and that makes you happier! Plus, it's nice to just get out for a walk when it's warm and sunny. I'd try doing activities like that to get your mind of school at least for a little while.

 

[birdvet2006]

Make sure you're getting plenty of UV light. At my vet school (in Scotland), several students battled depression in our dark winters. Maybe get a UV lamp for indoors and see if that helps - if you're in a more northernly school.

 

[sheep girl]

I am not a vet student (just accepted LSU 2012), but I understand your situation. I had the same problem in grad school. As a very determined and overachiever student, I found myself slipping into depression. I was diagnosed as being bi-polar ( I was still very active socially, bars and such) and recieved meds and counciling.

There are more people that have this happen to them than the number of people that admit to having a depression problem. I learned that exercise is key when trying to help yourself quickly. One of the symptoms that I had was not being able to fall asleep because of random and continous thinking and once I fell asleep not wanting to wake up.

Talking always helps and you need to re-establish control over yourself (easier said than done).

If you want to talk. Email me with your number and I will call.

 

[ShelterGirl]

Hopefully your school has a counseling service that can then refer you as needed - mine did in undergrad when I imploded (with depression). If it does, take advantage of those resources - it is amazing what counseling and possibly medicine can do to get you back on your feet.
Also, make sure you take care of the basics - food, sleep, etc., even if you're just going through the motions. Take care of yourself, ok? A lot of us have been there at one point or another and you will get through it.

 

[thereservoirdog]

I'm not in vet school, but I always get depressed when I start getting swamped with homework and it feels like there's ALWAYS something school related I should be doing. What really helps is time management, set enough time for school and set enough time for yourself to just relax.

 

[klicka]

Hey!
Thanks for all of the suggestions. I have already spoken to a counsellor and am on some medication.
I guess just taking it one day at a time helps.

 

[brightness]

1/ Don't feel like just because you need medication right now there is something wrong with you. I did that for years and I suffered the consequences; now that I am medication I realize my life is better with medication, I am more successful, and my relationships are better- and ultimatley, my functioning and health is more important than being "normal". Many people fall into depression/anxiety/whatever and need help for awhile....so I would focus on feeling good, eating healthy, exercising, and taking care of yourself, not beating yourself up about taking meds.

2/ Don't give up on yourself if this medicine doesn't work. Meds are a tricky thing, and everyone who has been on psych meds will tell you that! I dunno what med you're on (I'd love to find out, psych meds are almost an obsessive interest of mine! Lol) but people seem to respond in really varied ways to different types of medicines. So hound your psychiatrist or med provider if it doesn't get better.

Hang in there! The winter months are hard for a lot of people. And if you aren't on it currently, you may want to look into a multivitamin; for me the extra D and B complexes really made a difference.

PM me if you ever need support, just to vent, bitch, whatever. I've been crazy my whole life and I know the struggle.

 

[athenaparthenos]

Don't feel like you're a failure for needing to take drugs. It's not a personal moral failure if your brain requires a medication to stabilize it while other people's brains don't. My father is bipolar and without medication he would have killed himself long ago. Off medication he becomes a danger to his bank account, his health (not sleeping), and eventually to his life (has attempted suicide over 10 times). On medication he doesn't get so manic and he doesn't get nearly so depressed; it has literally saved his life and made it possible for him to continue to experience life one day at a time. If drugs are what you need, they're what you need and there is nothing wrong with you as a person if that's the case. You wouldn't make a moral judgment on someone who needed a cane to walk or glasses to see, and mood stabilizers are the same thing.

Best of luck! I second what everyone else has said about sunlight, exercise, vitamins, therapy, and meds.

 

[RainbowCloud]

hi, bumping up this thread hoping for some answers..
i'm not diagnosed with depression but i have been slipping into episodes of utter sadness and depressed feelings for no apparent reason since starting vet school 2 years ago
i struggled for the last two years, telling myself that all i'd have to do was to pass this semester every time

but nowadays it feels like i just can't take this anymore, i am due to start the new school year in around a month's time and i am so overwhelmed, i just don't know what to do

 

[HopefulAg]

Seeing a psychiatrist might be the first step. Might need to do some shopping around based on your own personal beliefs about it though (drugs vs talking).

 

[August24]

Journaling. Best thing that every happened to me to straighten things out in my mind and get things off my chest and organized so I can focus. And it helps to reread things and look for patterns, triggers, recurring issues, etc. Works better than counseling did for me and more flexible-I can spend as much or as little time on it as necessary and can bring it with me any place or time.

 

[MrSquirtles]

I definitely agree with several of the previous posts! I had a hard time last semester, and have vowed to make a few changes this semester:

1) I am working out everyday, even if it's just taking my dog on a walk
2) I am riding my horse and taking lessons again (Have you stopped doing any activities that were staples in your life before? This was a huge depressor for me)
3) I am attempting to eat better, which is hard b/c we have free pizza lunches almost everyday at my school...
4) I am making myself go to bed at midnight, no matter what, and not getting up before 5:30-6am
5) I'm spending more time in the clinics (joined foal team, wildlife treatment crew, etc) to help remind me why I'm here

Remember, C=DVM.... Even if you're going for an internship/residency, they focus a lot more on great references, which will be easier to get if you aren't so burnt out. So far I have felt much better this semester, and while I may not end up with the GPA I did last semester, I think I'll come out a better vet if I keep myself happy during school! Also remember that depression can be a clinical dz, so if your meds are helping don't feel like you shouldn't have to take them!

 

[sumstorm]

3) I am attempting to eat better, which is hard b/c we have free pizza lunches almost everyday at my school...
4) I am making myself go to bed at midnight, no matter what, and not getting up before 5:30-6am
5) I'm spending more time in the clinics (joined foal team, wildlife treatment crew, etc) to help remind me why I'm here

I think all of this is very important.

For lunch, if we are having pizza or boxed lunches, I eat one slice or half the box, then finish off with a piece of fruit and/or take the other half of the lunch home.

I find that exercise helps with the stress, which then helps with the emotions/moods/mental stuff. I have never been diagnosed with depression, but I do have 'blue' spells, and my mother is diagnosed manic-depressive, and I show tendencies there, so I work with a counselor regularly just to 'stay on track' to avoid worsening issues (my counselor is helping keep an eye out for changes.) I also try to make sure to do/watch/enjoy something a couple times a week that really just makes me laugh. I also have a mental list of things that, if they irritate me, means I am taking life too seriously. IE if my little dogs are crazily playing and making a bunch of noise and that is bothering me, it is a sign that I am taking life to seriously and not enjoying myself/the moment. These kind of serve as mental 'check ins' for me to evaluate how I am reacting/managing my life.

I hope you feel better and find solutions that work for you!

 

[CatVet2Be]

i struggled for the last two years....
but nowadays it feels like i just can't take this anymore..... I am so overwhelmed, i just don't know what to do

The best thing you can do for yourself is go in and talk to a doctor who can refer you to someone who specializes in behavioral health (whether it's a psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor etc...). Vet school is hard enough without health issues and depression/anxiety is absolutely a genuine health concern and one that is absolutely treatable. The reason I quoted snippets of your post is point out that this is obviously not a case of the blues because it's persisted for an extremely long time and that it sounds like it's worsening instead of improving. There's no reason you shouldn't have the chance to be happy and enjoy what you're doing but you have to take that first step. It doesn't make you weak, or mean that you somehow aren't cut out to be a vet, it just means you're going through a rough patch and have something in common with millions of other people.

Make an appointment now, because if the doctor decides you should give meds a try they take a few weeks to build up to therapeutic levels and in most cases you may have to try a few different ones before you find the one that works best with your particular body chemistry. In the meantime do your best to stay on a schedule, sleep at the same time, wake up at the same time, eat the healthy stuff when you can (crappy food tastes great but will make you feel blah), go outside and get sun and fresh air, force yourself to do things with people you like even if you'd rather be a hermit. There's no magic fix, just a combo of a lot of little things that add up but with time will make you feel like your old, healthy more capable self.

 

[TheFamilyDoc]

If this problem is absolutely uncontrollable, then you probably need to see a psychiatrist because you may be anxious, overwhelmed, shocked etc. about your life whether it is positive or negative. The psychiatrist will be able to prescirbe you the perfect medicine for you specific problem that he/she may find.

 

[projekt]

I am taking meds and they are helping, but it still feels weird. I should be happy- without drugs.
Does anyone else feel this way?

First of all, vet school is not the same as being a vet. If you have wanted to be a vet your whole life, you should probably endure and make it at least to clinics. Try an externship this summer.

The drugs: my experience was that only drugs were worthwhile to treat my depression. It took some time to find the right drugs, but I beat the depression, went back to school (undergrad), and graduated cum laude. I am now past my depression, and in my case, moving as far south as I could was part of being able to get off meds. Talk therapy works for some people, but for me it was a total waste of time, so find the treatment modality that works for you. I recommend the book, "The Noonday Demon," if you want a survey of all the options available with a story that made me feel like I wasn't alone.

Depression is temporary for most people.

 

[OneandDone]

.

 

[mcat45454545]

Been right where you are in fall 1987; got in vet school and 3 med schools after 3 years undergrad work, and was in HELL 1st quarter of vet school.

Solution? It gets better. Be honest and find good counselor to talk to about what is eating at you. Do you hate your gross lab partner(s)? (I did)! Does Histo suck? I thought it did. Do you find your classmates are still backbiting *******s like we all were in pre-vet, even though you are now colleagues and should be a team? I did.

And everyone I have talked to for 20+ years said they felt same way 1st year. Whether youngest in class like me (19) or 49 year old man with grown kids retired from navy, 1st year sucks. It does get better-you adjust to the reality of 5 hard classes and studying 4 times more than you ever have.

You are brilliant to be working with a good doctor and taking meds, but don't supress what you feel. VENT! That brought me up to #1 in my class when I was near bottom after 1st round of midterms. Cry. You aren't being petty - it is a shock and the euphoria is over.

you are in great field-get the DVM (you will benefit even if you never practice) and HANG IN THERE!

God bless you!
jcm dvm phd

 

[mcat45454545]

I definitely agree with several of the previous posts! I had a hard time last semester, and have vowed to make a few changes this semester:

1) I am working out everyday, even if it's just taking my dog on a walk
2) I am riding my horse and taking lessons again (Have you stopped doing any activities that were staples in your life before? This was a huge depressor for me)
3) I am attempting to eat better, which is hard b/c we have free pizza lunches almost everyday at my school...
4) I am making myself go to bed at midnight, no matter what, and not getting up before 5:30-6am
5) I'm spending more time in the clinics (joined foal team, wildlife treatment crew, etc) to help remind me why I'm here

Remember, C=DVM.... Even if you're going for an internship/residency, they focus a lot more on great references, which will be easier to get if you aren't so burnt out. So far I have felt much better this semester, and while I may not end up with the GPA I did last semester, I think I'll come out a better vet if I keep myself happy during school! Also remember that depression can be a clinical dz, so if your meds are helping don't feel like you shouldn't have to take them!

Great advice!

I am old hand (class of 1991) and all you said is great stuff.

I also have a phd in neurology and worked most of my life in research lab; but once depression from 1st quarter of vet school was treated/lifted, loved it and my 5 years in emergency vet clinic!

Good future to you and I didn't catch what year you are in, but if 2nd, do well in pathology (best jobs, key to being best vet you can be and damn interesting IF you get off on right foot)!

jcm
dvm phd

 

[mcat45454545]

hi, bumping up this thread hoping for some answers..
i'm not diagnosed with depression but i have been slipping into episodes of utter sadness and depressed feelings for no apparent reason since starting vet school 2 years ago
i struggled for the last two years, telling myself that all i'd have to do was to pass this semester every time

but nowadays it feels like i just can't take this anymore, i am due to start the new school year in around a month's time and i am so overwhelmed, i just don't know what to do

One other "hang in there"

you have come far enough the vet school wants to keep you; I am sure if you get "down" and simply dysfunctional, you could get a medical leave and get well and join the class behind you. Talk to a professor you trust (Obviously I have no idea which of the 27 you are at) and get their insight on school policy regarding medical leave/temporary withdrawl. DON'T GET DOWN AND QUIT without exhausting all help!

God bless you!
jcm dvm phd