Desperate help with personal statement...

[IkeBoy18]

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I have been starting and restarting personal statements for the last few months and I still have no clue what to say. Im struggling between trying not to sound too cliche or like an excuse pot. Im will try to provide a brief history (hopefully) of myself so that someone out there can help me find a direction to go.

Soooo..Ive always been in love with medicine as long as I can remember, to the point of reading the medical edition of the encyclopedia we had around 7 or 8. Ive always loved the workings of the body and how the healer heals it. As I continued through school I knew I was going to become a physician...etc..etc... thats sort of the intitial part.

Then comes the ugly part. I attended a marginal schooling system where appx. 65-70% were on free lunch. I lived in a single father househould for about 60% of the time til i was 18. When my mother was there the problems escalated. My dad was/is an alcoholic and mother is has been struggling with schiz/anxiety/depression, prescription drug and recreation drug abuse/addiction and has been in and out of psych wards. Needless to say, it was rough experience. I volunteered at a Drs office when i was 17 for abt 20 hrs per week. I ended up learning everything through my curiosity and excitement for medicine and ended up being hired as MA. Also because I had to help pay bills to keep the lights on and a roof over our heads. I worked there for 1.5 yrs then I went to atlanta for school. After all the troubles growing up I got kindof derailed from medicine and needed to do what I could to help take care of my father (72yo) and do what i could for my mother. I ended up moving to NYC as fulltime model (it was a great exp. 🙂 ) I was doing pretty well there but I had to move home (after abt 1.5 yrs of no school) to physically take care of my dad while also heeding my call to medicine. I couldnt bare to thing that i was going to let these years slip by and wake up one day at 30 or so and not be a physician. I left all that behind to resume my job at the drs office fulltime while also restarting school fulltime. I gained a lot of medical experience at the drs office (i got to do everything immunizations, phlebotomy, ekgs, wart removal, lancing cysts and boils..and the clerical side, charts, and le dreaded insurance companies) which allowed me to gain employment at a county hospital (mostly no insurance population) as a medical technician for pathology in the ER. At this job i drew blood (stat labwork, blood cultures, the works) and started IVs in the ER as my primary job; but, i did everything ofcourse due to the shorthanded staff, a problem which plagues most government funded hospitals. I did a lot of shockroom work (CPR-which i experience most people dont regain life after reaching the point of CPR, maybe 1 out of the 100 or so i performed CPR on). Finally i finished school a whopping 7 yrs after i graduated high school with a mediocre gpa of 2.8cgpa.. with a bs in bio. Not much i can say about that, working fulltime and going to school fulltime while taking care of 2 parents isnt the easiest of things to do. I then moved to a county clinic ( again no insurance pop.), where i still worked as a med tech where i drew blood and ran routine tests (hematology, urine, chemistry) i had to read wet mounts, urines, and had 2 prepare peripheral smears so that i can do manual diffs. 6 months after graduating (6 months ago) i stareded a job at MD anderson cancer center as a medical technician in the cytopathology dept. I can say ive have a lot of hours with the microscope it is my best friend. Here i process different types of specimens and stain them so that they may be reviewed by pathologists for final diagnosis. ive been independently studying for the mcat for the past couple of months and am scheduled to take it on june 18. the last 2 practice tests ive gotten a 30 and 32 on aamc9 and aamc 10. i havent finished reviewing im abt halfway through gchem..finished with orgo.. halfway throu bio and 1/4th thru phys.. ive been shadowing physicians that ive gained relationship with through from work. the ER director who is a DO, an anesthesiologist and cytopathologist here at MD anderson, and ofcourse the fam doc i started my medical journey with. Ive learned so much abt the ins and outs of medicine and especially the ugly. Ive feel like ive learned so much medicine, treatments.. signs and symptoms, i am very familiar with most lab tests in the routine world and cytology. Very familiar with how hospitals work, er's, dr offices, ive had countless of hours of direct patient contact and care at work and volunteer. After all this i atleast want to get into a post bacc program with direct linkage if a medical school doesnt want to give me a chance intially.

Thank you for reading all of this and please if you have any input it will be greatly appreciated. As much as i dont want to say but im sure the question will arise and yes i am a urm. I just need to know what i should say in my personal statement.. thanks again

 

[Optimus123]

TLDR, and I say that in hopes of helping you out.

 

[235009]

Soooo..Ive always been in love with medicine as long as I can remember, to the point of reading the medical edition of the encyclopedia we had around 7 or 8. Ive always loved the workings of the body and how the healer heals it. As I continued through school I knew I was going to become a physician...etc..etc... thats sort of the intitial part.

absolutely leave this out. it is so cliche and doesn't add anything to your PS. the rest can make a very compelling story if it is well written.

 

[IkeBoy18]

absolutely leave this out. it is so cliche and doesn't add anything to your PS. the rest can make a very compelling story if it is well written.

thank you for the response and yeah i figured i would leave that out.. but i have no idea what to include given the character constraint.

 

[pazan]

Those experiences don't sound like cliches or excuses... the problem will be writing everything in a coherent, thoughtful way in such a small amount of space. I'm not sure if the cookie-cutter personal statement of "I want to be a doctor because of P1 P2 P3 P4" will adequately capture the uniqueness of your background. Being a bit more analytical than descriptive could help organize your experiences, so that you can show you've learned something from the bad/good in your life rather than just telling a story about it. Good luck.

 

[IkeBoy18]

Those experiences don't sound like cliches or excuses... the problem will be writing everything in a coherent, thoughtful way in such a small amount of space. I'm not sure if the cookie-cutter personal statement of "I want to be a doctor because of P1 P2 P3 P4" will adequately capture the uniqueness of your background. Being a bit more analytical than descriptive could help organize your experiences, so that you can show you've learned something from the bad/good in your life rather than just telling a story about it. Good luck.

Thank you for taking time out to respond. Being analytical def sounds like a good way to go. Im just really at a loss of what the med schools wwant to know. I know my grades suck. I had a rough 2 yr period in there that was terrible. Should I mention anything abt my grades? I kind of feel like givven the experiences and circumstances its possible that I wont have a stellar gpa.

 

[diosa428]

First and foremost, your PS should focus on why you want to be a doctor. It sounds like you've had a lot of great clinical experiences... what you should do is focus on the experiences that were most meaningful to you and really convinced you that you want to be a physician and try to work your PS around them. Describe them, tell what you learned (about yourself or about medicine) and relate that to your desire to become a doctor. You don't have to go into detail about every little experience you've had; you can list them all in the activities section (number of hours per week, etc). Make your PS about telling your story, not listing the things you've done. So stick to the most important stuff.

As to the other stuff, I believe that it can definitely be included, but instead of weaving it in and out like a timeline (it gets confusing), take one paragraph to address it. "Throughout life, I've faced many challenges, particularly in my personal life..." Briefly summarize the situation at home with your mom and dad, talk about why your college education was longer than expected and your grades are poor, and then talk about what you're doing to address your academic problems and how the experience has made you a stronger/better person. Again, keep this brief and within one paragraph, simply because there is not a lot of space in the PS once you get to writing and, while you want to include the information to talk about who you are, you also need to discuss why you want to be a doctor.

 

[Octavias]

TLDR, and I say that in hopes of helping you out.

What does TLDR stand for?


Also to the OP...
There is a book called "Limbo" that you might find helpful. It helped me considerably in doing my PS. Basically, it is about "straddlers", folks who are raised in blue collar families but then go on to become further educated and hold white collar jobs. I found the book helpful in that it gave me a framework that I could use to understand all those experiences that I had growing up that many of my classmates in Uni could not relate too.

As it turns out, I think my low socio-economic status growing up not only did not hurt me but might have helped me get into in my program.

 

[metalgearHMN]

What does TLDR stand for?

Too Long; Didn't Read

 

[pazan]

Thank you for taking time out to respond. Being analytical def sounds like a good way to go. Im just really at a loss of what the med schools wwant to know. I know my grades suck. I had a rough 2 yr period in there that was terrible. Should I mention anything abt my grades? I kind of feel like givven the experiences and circumstances its possible that I wont have a stellar gpa.

You shouldn't spend more than one sentence directly addressing your grades... that's when you begin to sound like you're making excuses. The reasons you didn't do as well as others will be evident as you develop your PS and write about why you want to be a physician and the obstacles you've overcome to get there. Your experiences will speak for themselves. Also, if you do well in a post-bacc (>3.7), your undergrad grades become less relevant. I had a 3.3 after my 3rd year of undergrad, got a ~4.0 senior year (raising my GPA to 3.5+), and wasn't asked about my earlier grades during the interviews. So, just focus on your next round of classes, and you'll be ok.

 

[slowbutsteady]

You said it yourself: leave out anything that smacks of cliche or excuses.

Your story in very compelling, but you MUST tell it well. The story itself will help put your grades in perspective.

 

[melanoleuca]

I have been starting and restarting personal statements for the last few months and I still have no clue what to say. Im struggling between trying not to sound too cliche or like an excuse pot. Im will try to provide a brief history (hopefully) of myself so that someone out there can help me find a direction to go.

Soooo..Ive always been in love with medicine as long as I can remember, to the point of reading the medical edition of the encyclopedia we had around 7 or 8. Ive always loved the workings of the body and how the healer heals it. As I continued through school I knew I was going to become a physician...etc..etc... thats sort of the intitial part.

Then comes the ugly part. I attended a marginal schooling system where appx. 65-70% were on free lunch. I lived in a single father househould for about 60% of the time til i was 18. When my mother was there the problems escalated. My dad was/is an alcoholic and mother is has been struggling with schiz/anxiety/depression, prescription drug and recreation drug abuse/addiction and has been in and out of psych wards. Needless to say, it was rough experience. I volunteered at a Drs office when i was 17 for abt 20 hrs per week. I ended up learning everything through my curiosity and excitement for medicine and ended up being hired as MA. Also because I had to help pay bills to keep the lights on and a roof over our heads. I worked there for 1.5 yrs then I went to atlanta for school. After all the troubles growing up I got kindof derailed from medicine and needed to do what I could to help take care of my father (72yo) and do what i could for my mother. I ended up moving to NYC as fulltime model (it was a great exp. 🙂 ) I was doing pretty well there but I had to move home (after abt 1.5 yrs of no school) to physically take care of my dad while also heeding my call to medicine. I couldnt bare to thing that i was going to let these years slip by and wake up one day at 30 or so and not be a physician. I left all that behind to resume my job at the drs office fulltime while also restarting school fulltime. I gained a lot of medical experience at the drs office (i got to do everything immunizations, phlebotomy, ekgs, wart removal, lancing cysts and boils..and the clerical side, charts, and le dreaded insurance companies) which allowed me to gain employment at a county hospital (mostly no insurance population) as a medical technician for pathology in the ER. At this job i drew blood (stat labwork, blood cultures, the works) and started IVs in the ER as my primary job; but, i did everything ofcourse due to the shorthanded staff, a problem which plagues most government funded hospitals. I did a lot of shockroom work (CPR-which i experience most people dont regain life after reaching the point of CPR, maybe 1 out of the 100 or so i performed CPR on). Finally i finished school a whopping 7 yrs after i graduated high school with a mediocre gpa of 2.8cgpa.. with a bs in bio. Not much i can say about that, working fulltime and going to school fulltime while taking care of 2 parents isnt the easiest of things to do. I then moved to a county clinic ( again no insurance pop.), where i still worked as a med tech where i drew blood and ran routine tests (hematology, urine, chemistry) i had to read wet mounts, urines, and had 2 prepare peripheral smears so that i can do manual diffs. 6 months after graduating (6 months ago) i stareded a job at MD anderson cancer center as a medical technician in the cytopathology dept. I can say ive have a lot of hours with the microscope it is my best friend. Here i process different types of specimens and stain them so that they may be reviewed by pathologists for final diagnosis. ive been independently studying for the mcat for the past couple of months and am scheduled to take it on june 18. the last 2 practice tests ive gotten a 30 and 32 on aamc9 and aamc 10. i havent finished reviewing im abt halfway through gchem..finished with orgo.. halfway throu bio and 1/4th thru phys.. ive been shadowing physicians that ive gained relationship with through from work. the ER director who is a DO, an anesthesiologist and cytopathologist here at MD anderson, and ofcourse the fam doc i started my medical journey with. Ive learned so much abt the ins and outs of medicine and especially the ugly. Ive feel like ive learned so much medicine, treatments.. signs and symptoms, i am very familiar with most lab tests in the routine world and cytology. Very familiar with how hospitals work, er's, dr offices, ive had countless of hours of direct patient contact and care at work and volunteer. After all this i atleast want to get into a post bacc program with direct linkage if a medical school doesnt want to give me a chance intially.

Thank you for reading all of this and please if you have any input it will be greatly appreciated. As much as i dont want to say but im sure the question will arise and yes i am a urm. I just need to know what i should say in my personal statement.. thanks again

Some paragraphing would be nice, too.

Basically, you've seen everything, done everything, and probably can skip medical school and go straight to residency...or at least that's the impression I got. You need to edit your life story, which, like mine and almost everybody else's, is just not that interesting or compelling.

 

[vigocarpathian]

...

 

[IkeBoy18]

Thanx for everyones responses.. And as far as paragraphing etc.. This wasn't my PS it was just a quick background 2 give people a guide on the things I could potentially talk abt..I was just trying to type as much as i could in my short break at work..

I ordered limbo yesterday as well..

Another question I have is regarding my LOR...I took some of my prereqs simultaneously at a community college and a large university because it was hard getting downtown to the universiy everyday with work.. I gained better relationships withese instructors due to the small class size and and close contact vs the uni.m where I would be n a class of 250+.I was never in the premedical adv org. Which my cum gpa at my geaduating school. (3.01) they may not write all that good of a lletter abt me... so.. I was thinking abt foregoing the committee letter and getting letters from my comm. Coll. Instructors whom I had closer relationships with.will adcoms have a problem with this?.