Did I do the right thing?

[shreypete]

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So recently a student comes up to me and says "I hate medical school because I just don't have any friends here and I miss the ones I had. No one will took to me coz I'm so ugly and I'm just really lonely".

The best thing I could tell this kid was to just focus on the bigger picture and to work hard and not care about what others think. I told him that you don't always need friends (just to encourage him). Do you think I did the right thing? I mean I do know the importance of good friends in medical school (especially when it comes to study groups of hanging out with friends on weekends to avoid boredom) but I just couldn't tell him anything else at that moment. I don't want him to blame me in the future in case he does bad (and why do I care? coz he's my 3rd cousin!)

 

[dannye3]

He should have learned how to deal with/accept that in highschool? 😕

 

[Inuranic]

Uh, yeah. I don't see how you could be blamed for anything. This guy has to learn for himself how to deal with social situations. I would say the same thing to you - whether things work out for him or not, just take care of yourself and don't worry what he thinks.

 

[TexasPhysician]

So recently a student comes up to me and says "I hate medical school because I just don't have any friends here and I miss the ones I had. No one will took to me coz I'm so ugly and I'm just really lonely".

The best thing I could tell this kid was to just focus on the bigger picture and to work hard and not care about what others think. I told him that you don't always need friends (just to encourage him). Do you think I did the right thing? I mean I do know the importance of good friends in medical school (especially when it comes to study groups of hanging out with friends on weekends to avoid boredom) but I just couldn't tell him anything else at that moment. I don't want him to blame me in the future in case he does bad (and why do I care? coz he's my 3rd cousin!)

That hasn't stopped a lot of people I've met.

 

[J1515]

Ever think he might read SDN and will feel even worse that you've told his story to the world?

 

[supernareg]

i didnt come to medical school to make friends... i came to get my MD and bounce... back to my life in SoCal... its like i put my life on hold, but i know its worth it...

i just dont care to make friends with anyone here (minus 2 people who are the ones i hang out with if we do anything).. cause everyone is so superficial and still stuck in high school

 

[shreypete]

Actually he is a high school grad who got into med school (in Australia). I guess I can't do much to help him out other than to just encourage him not to worry about such material things and focus on school and some other activities (going to the gym or playing a sport or something).

 

[LadyWolverine]

i didnt come to medical school to make friends... i came to get my MD and bounce... back to my life in SoCal... its like i put my life on hold, but i know its worth it...

It's very hard to adopt this mindset and retain it for 4 long years, especially for the first 2. It's a bit different if you have a non-med school friend base nearby, but if all of your loved ones are a significant distance away, you're setting yourself up for a pretty lonely experience.

 

[umean2tellme]

If he can't make friends in medical school and feels so uncomfortable in social situations, how is he going to be a doctor? Tell him he needs to try and learn how to deal with people b/c that's part of the job title.

 

[GZA]

If he can't make friends in medical school and feels so uncomfortable in social situations, how is he going to be a doctor? Tell him he needs to try and learn how to deal with people b/c that's part of the job title.

Not always.

 

[Knicks]

That hasn't stopped a lot of people I've met.

 

[MonkeyNuts!]

So recently a student comes up to me and says "I hate medical school because I just don't have any friends here and I miss the ones I had. No one will took to me coz I'm so ugly and I'm just really lonely".

There aren't other ugly people in your class? Med students generally are ugly. You rarely find in med school the super fine yet slutastic brunette with a g string poking out of her daisy dukes and wearing knee high leather boots with a tube top squeezed so tight her perfectly shaped size C mammary glands are practically spilling out.

No you have to go to pole school to find that.

 

[mjl1717]

You did the right thing.. There is nothing wrong with being an incurable optimist..

[ I think that is part of Oslerian thinking] 😴

 

[MattD]

So recently a student comes up to me and says "I hate medical school because I just don't have any friends here and I miss the ones I had. No one will took to me coz I'm so ugly and I'm just really lonely".

The best thing I could tell this kid was to just focus on the bigger picture and to work hard and not care about what others think. I told him that you don't always need friends (just to encourage him). Do you think I did the right thing? I mean I do know the importance of good friends in medical school (especially when it comes to study groups of hanging out with friends on weekends to avoid boredom) but I just couldn't tell him anything else at that moment. I don't want him to blame me in the future in case he does bad (and why do I care? coz he's my 3rd cousin!)

Well, did it occur to you to invite this kid to hang out with your social group sometime?

 

[2medschool]

So recently a student comes up to me and says "I hate medical school because I just don't have any friends here and I miss the ones I had. No one will took to me coz I'm so ugly and I'm just really lonely".

The best thing I could tell this kid was to just focus on the bigger picture and to work hard and not care about what others think. I told him that you don't always need friends (just to encourage him). Do you think I did the right thing? I mean I do know the importance of good friends in medical school (especially when it comes to study groups of hanging out with friends on weekends to avoid boredom) but I just couldn't tell him anything else at that moment. I don't want him to blame me in the future in case he does bad (and why do I care? coz he's my 3rd cousin!)

Sounds like his problem to me.

Not to sound insensitive but what's more important: friends or medical school? It's an honest question. Some people have an easier time making friends than others (whether it is due to ugliness or not). In whatever school I go to for some reason it always takes about a year for me to make close friends (beyond casual friends or maybe casual study partners). It doesn't bother me.

 

[Just Joshin]

There aren't other ugly people in your class? Med students generally are ugly. You rarely find in med school the super fine yet slutastic brunette with a g string poking out of her daisy dukes and wearing knee high leather boots with a tube top squeezed so tight her perfectly shaped size C mammary glands are practically spilling out.

No you have to go to pole school to find that.

You haven't seen some of these D.O. chicks, have you?

 

[bones11]

I would be less disturbed by some of the above posts if this thread weren't listed directly next to one titled "classmate's suicide."

 

[MattD]

I would be less disturbed by some of the above posts if this thread weren't listed directly next to one titled "classmate's suicide."

What he said.


People, seriously, just because you're in medical school doesn't mean you're no longer a human being with human needs for social interaction. We're pack animals. If someone is at the point that they're reaching out to you with what was probably quite a humiliating plea for help, maybe you should use some of that compassion you pretended to have when interviewing for your spot and invite the guy out after class for a damn beer every now and again.

I mean geez, you people kill me, act like you have an f'in soul once in a while why don'cha? "Sounds like his problem to me?"

I SO hope you're the one who tells me I have cancer some day. I'm sure you'll make it as easy an experience as it can be.

</exasperated sarcasm>

 

[Goober]

i didnt come to medical school to make friends... i came to get my MD and bounce... back to my life in SoCal... its like i put my life on hold, but i know its worth it...

i just dont care to make friends with anyone here (minus 2 people who are the ones i hang out with if we do anything).. cause everyone is so superficial and still stuck in high school

That was my mind set. But then I decided to pursue a competitive specialty and matched outside of California. So bascially I ended up putting my life on hold for 5 more years after that. 😡

 

[2medschool]

I mean geez, you people kill me, act like you have an f'in soul once in a while why don'cha? "Sounds like his problem to me?"

I SO hope you're the one who tells me I have cancer some day. I'm sure you'll make it as easy an experience as it can be.

</exasperated sarcasm>

I have sympathy for a lot of things. All I meant was that "not being able to make friends" (for whatever reason) isn't one of them. Again, maybe it's because I, myself, always have a hard time making friends in new places.

I live life by a "If they can do it, there's no reason why I can't." attitude. This is regarding many things in life including "becoming a doctor."

But it goes both ways.

I look at other people and wonder what their attitudes are towards these things. "If other people have hard times making friends and make it out in the end, why can't I?" I figure he should be asking himself this question.

If I were in the OP's position, this is what I'd talk to him about.

That's all I was saying.

 

[GoBuckeyes913]

What he said.


People, seriously, just because you're in medical school doesn't mean you're no longer a human being with human needs for social interaction. We're pack animals. If someone is at the point that they're reaching out to you with what was probably quite a humiliating plea for help, maybe you should use some of that compassion you pretended to have when interviewing for your spot and invite the guy out after class for a damn beer every now and again.

I mean geez, you people kill me, act like you have an f'in soul once in a while why don'cha? "Sounds like his problem to me?"

I SO hope you're the one who tells me I have cancer some day. I'm sure you'll make it as easy an experience as it can be.

</exasperated sarcasm>

I agree with the bolded part. Loneliness can mess with your head. It sounds like OP's classmate just hasn't found anyone to hang out with and misses his social group back home... but the fact that he is telling someone he isn't technically "friends" with how lonely he is, is kinda attention-getting. I would def invite this kid out for a beer. I mean, worse case scenario you can always hook him up with your girl's "ugly" friend. Then everyone's happy.

 

[Knicks]

What he said.


People, seriously, just because you're in medical school doesn't mean you're no longer a human being with human needs for social interaction. We're pack animals. If someone is at the point that they're reaching out to you with what was probably quite a humiliating plea for help, maybe you should use some of that compassion you pretended to have when interviewing for your spot and invite the guy out after class for a damn beer every now and again.

I mean geez, you people kill me, act like you have an f'in soul once in a while why don'cha? "Sounds like his problem to me?"

I SO hope you're the one who tells me I have cancer some day. I'm sure you'll make it as easy an experience as it can be.

</exasperated sarcasm>

👍

/thread

 

[themudphud]

I agree with everyone else. You said the right thing. Med school can be tough and your classmate just needs to adjust (easier said than done, of course).