Discouraging interview = poor fit?

[gambolholic]

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This is kind of a long story but I'm wondering if I could get some insights from people about whether this is a red flag:

I could not make the interview day of a program so I worked out an alternative time a couple of days later. I felt good about the program until I sat down with my POI who had several times brought up how many "great candidates" he/she had seen during the pre-planned interview day, and how he/she typically took people who had research experience within the POI's specific area (I worked in one area of health psych but was very passionate about the POI's). The POI also asked me “where I was at” in terms of this particular program versus others, explaining that he/she didn’t want to give an offer to someone who’ll hold on to it while all the other great candidates he/she had talked to before accepted other offers.

Granted, this wasn’t the entirety of the interview, but I left feeling like crap. I was surprised by the experience because a few current/former students had told me about what a great advisor this POI was. I thought, maybe he/she was just not empathetic as an interviewer?

Anyway, the POI contacted me days later to ask again “where I was at” with the program because I was a top candidate, and explained again that he/she did not want to run into a situation where a candidate holds on to an offer too long, adding that he/she was being much more careful than in years past about offers. I felt relieved that the POI actually did seem to like me as a candidate and that it seemed like the POI was just a bit paranoid from being screwed in the past.

I guess overall I’m wondering whether the POI's behavior during and post interview is typical or a bad sign. I had many interviews and no one else talked about other candidates or inquired about how I may choose their program over others. I’m also worried in general about the “vibe” I got during the interview. As I said, I left the POI’s office feeling very discouraged but I’m worried about over interpreting this and not giving this person a proper chance if he/she does choose to accept me. Any advice or thoughts?

Thanks!!!

 

[paramour]

I can only share my personal experience.

I had two absolutely horrific interviews with POIs at one program where the individuals expressed and or behaved as if they were disinterested in me at the time of the interviews. I had an overall atrocious time and never wanted to return even though it was my "top" choice. Stupid me jumped at the acceptance I received a few weeks later, brushing aside the doubts and chalking it up to interview jitters.

I am now . . . well, let's just say "quite advanced" in years for a grad student. It is looking more and more likely that I will be leaving after this semester instead of finishing up my dissertation and applying for internship in the fall. Ah, the debt should be fantastic to repay. 👍 But at least I shall regain my sanity (I hope.)

I had other interviews, and, yes, I had some jitters here and there. I certainly didn't leave them feeling like an unwanted piece of trash kicked to the curb by both students and professors alike. 🙄 Personally, if you're getting anything remotely akin to that vibe, I would run. It may very well continue and you truly don't want to be stuck with that experience for the next several years. There's more to life.

 

[Doctor Eliza]

Some programs/POI's really take offense if you don't make it to the real interview day. They feel slighted, because after all they are the most important thing in the world and you were wasting your time at your mother's funeral instead of interviewing with them.

I had one phone interview where the prof interviewing me seemed pretty rude. She also said that they made all their 1st round offers prior to conducting interviews with people who didn't come to the interview day. It was quite off-putting. However, she was right that I wasn't all that interested in her program. They offered only partial tuition remission, whereas my other options offered full. That combined with me not attending interview day clued her in to my level of interest.

Good luck,
Dr. E

 

[Lisa44201]

You're right, it does seem like your POI is being.... paranoid may not be exactly right, but it's close.... direct, maybe? He/she did say you were a top candidate, so I'd take that as a compliment. I was asked post-interview (because my POI did not think of it during the interview) where the school ranked for me; from what I understand, it's not an uncommon question. Sounds like your POI wants to fill the spot, and doesn't want to hold his/her breath waiting to see who's going to accept and who's going to decline. Reminds me of the student perspective, actually....

 

[PsychBrownBag]

I'm not really convinced this was bad behavior by your POI or a sign that he was anything less than very interested in you as a candidate. If students can't make it to our planned interview day, a scenario we have to seriously consider is that we're not a top choice. If a POI makes an offer to a candidate who views his or her lab as a backup option, that candidate may hold the offer for weeks or months while other candidates accept offers elsewhere, thereby leaving that POI without a suitable candidate if the original offer isn't accepted. If that slot isn't filled, the POI can be in a tough spot if he or she needed somebody to fill a particular role in the lab. Also, when offers are turned down, that stat is reported to APA, which is a consideration for departments for a variety of reasons.

I certainly understand that this is a huge life decision for candidates and they're entitled to take their time and choose the right programs for themselves, but it is also reasonable for a POI to want to make offers to people who are strong research matches who want to join the program and won't leave them vulnerable to ending up in a bad spot (particularly if it's happened before and they're trying to avoid a pattern that could influence future opportunities). I guess my point is that it goes both ways.

 

[gambolholic]

Thanks everyone!

I cannot get into this POI's head, but if he/she felt slighted by my flying down only two days after their planned interview day to personally express my interest in the POI's research and in the program than that's ridiculous to me. The conflict was that I had committed to interview at another program who had sent out their invites much earlier, but I still took another day off of work and flew down to talk with them in a prompt manner...

But anyway, everyone I talk to has different interpretations on this story. It's tough weighing the pros and cons of programs, especially when I got a wonderful vibe and felt excited about another program I had visited which I had initially considered not applying to at all (mainly due to location) versus this POI's program, which I thought would be perfect for me when applying but then felt discouraged after the interview.

People say to trust your gut but it's hard to do that when you're a super logical person :-/

 

[Doctor Eliza]

Thanks everyone!

I cannot get into this POI's head, but if he/she felt slighted by my flying down only two days after their planned interview day to personally express my interest in the POI's research and in the program than that's ridiculous to me. The conflict was that I had committed to interview at another program who had sent out their invites much earlier, but I still took another day off of work and flew down to talk with them in a prompt manner...

But anyway, everyone I talk to has different interpretations on this story. It's tough weighing the pros and cons of programs, especially when I got a wonderful vibe and felt excited about another program I had visited which I had initially considered not applying to at all (mainly due to location) versus this POI's program, which I thought would be perfect for me when applying but then felt discouraged after the interview.

People say to trust your gut but it's hard to do that when you're a super logical person :-/

After you have an offer in hand, I'd do more digging with current grad students, especially students later in the program. I'd be candid about your odd interaction with the prof and see what they have to say. They might say something like, "Dr. X is a great mentor but lacks social skill, I wouldn't take it personally." or "Dr. X really got screwed over in admissions last year and so he is being really cautious this year." or "Dr. X a unique personality and not everyone is a fit." or, the most telling is uncomfortable silence.

I got really burned in the opposite direction. My POI fell all over herself trying to get me to go there. Turned out she was a raging borderline and I could not manage to work with her past my master's degree and I had to switch to someone else in the department.


Dr. E