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couldn't figure out how to delete this thread. sorry, disregard this.
 

docB

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Hold on! Maybe we can salvage it and turn it into something beautiful. How about a discussion of ER gurneys. Have any of you ever noticed that after 1 day of use a brand new gurney will have 1 bad wheel, a chunk of the plastic ripped off the rail, a broken IV pole and a rip in the mattress. That same gurney will then maintain the exact same condition for roughly 50 years. I'm just kidding of course. No gurney has ever had a working IV pole for any length of time. Not even a day. I'm sure you all know the Stryker company motto, "Quality first! But if a working IV pole leaves the factory you're fired." Any hoo, we can't fault them for not working on the IV poles when they are so consumed by the primary objective of designing innovative ways to hide the rail latches so that no two are alike and they can never be found.
 

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Our Stryker gurneys have the giant fly wheel that lowers down when you put the thing in drive mode (ie not brake or steer mode). But when the brakes are on that thing is off the ground. I've spent many an H & P spinning that thing with my foot to see how long it will spin. "You got the sugar?" wow look at it go "You only drink 2 a day huh? 2 what? Oh 2 pints, ok I see now" Aw this one sucks it didn't even go around twice
 

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USCDiver said:
Our Stryker gurneys have the giant fly wheel that lowers down when you put the thing in drive mode (ie not brake or steer mode). But when the brakes are on that thing is off the ground. I've spent many an H & P spinning that thing with my foot to see how long it will spin. "You got the sugar?" wow look at it go "You only drink 2 a day huh? 2 what? Oh 2 pints, ok I see now" Aw this one sucks it didn't even go around twice
That is funny as hell. Not sure why, but I am cracking up!
 

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Thread title: "Disregard"
Views: 118 (at present, <11 hours since thread was started)

EM people rock.
 

Febrifuge

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docB said:
...No gurney has ever had a working IV pole for any length of time. Not even a day....
I think I saw one, once.

My latest thing is that I can take a patient upstairs, ditch the linen in the bins for whatever service, take a couple of the sani-wipe things, and clean the cart while I'm pushing it back to the elevators. It's like a cross between a Clorox commercial and "Scrubs on Ice." By the time I'm back in the ED, the cart is ready to go back into the room.

It's weird what the human mind can scrounge up for fun and diversion sometimes.
 

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Strong work on the resuscitation of the thread, docb.

I think we are priviliged at Tampa General. We have about 5 or 6 gurneys that TRANSFORM into a gyn bed. Yup, they have stirrups and the middle of the bed breaks away, and you can pull the top mattress away so all you got are legs up in the hiz-air. Pretty sweet. Although, peculiarly, there's always one messed up wheel, kinda like a shopping cart.

No more pelvic exams on bedpans for me!

Not that it bothered me any.

Q
 

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QuinnNSU said:
We have about 5 or 6 gurneys that TRANSFORM into a gyn bed. Yup, they have stirrups and the middle of the bed breaks away, and you can pull the top mattress away so all you got are legs up in the hiz-air. Pretty sweet.
Whoa. That's like what would happen if David Lynch directed a Transformers movie.

"Gynobots, go!"
 

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More like Voltron...

"And I'll form the head!" (imagine bottom of bed assembling/disassembling)

I don't know though.... on second thought, maybe transformers is the correct analogy. I thought I saw a gurney somewhere named the Optimus Prime.
 

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QuinnNSU said:
Strong work on the resuscitation of the thread, docb.

I think we are priviliged at Tampa General. We have about 5 or 6 gurneys that TRANSFORM into a gyn bed. Yup, they have stirrups and the middle of the bed breaks away, and you can pull the top mattress away so all you got are legs up in the hiz-air. Pretty sweet. Although, peculiarly, there's always one messed up wheel, kinda like a shopping cart.

No more pelvic exams on bedpans for me!

Not that it bothered me any.

Q
We have them at Duke, too, and they save a LOT of time.

One of our graduating seniors (SWATdoc) even did a study showing that placement of females with abdominal pain in the hallway, awaiting rooms for GYN beds, just slightly increased their length of stay. Without multiple convertible beds, I don't know how long the patients would be there.
 

docB

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Febrifuge said:
"Gynobots, go!"
:laugh: Too much!

They just built this new hospital out in the sticks that we cover and it has lots of new high tech gear. I swear the new German ventilators were easier to figure out than the transforming gyne beds. Once I learned how to use them though they are really cool.
 
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oh my buddha... is 'disregard' becoming the new 'i found my broken antennae' thread? :laugh:


can ya guess what the original thread was about? :confused:
 
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QuinnNSU said:
No more pelvic exams on bedpans for me!
bedpans? i suppose that could be handy with some of the more monstrous discharges.... :eek:
 
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docB said:
Hold on! Maybe we can salvage it and turn it into something beautiful. How about a discussion of ER gurneys. Have any of you ever noticed that after 1 day of use a brand new gurney will have 1 bad wheel, a chunk of the plastic ripped off the rail, a broken IV pole and a rip in the mattress. That same gurney will then maintain the exact same condition for roughly 50 years. I'm just kidding of course. No gurney has ever had a working IV pole for any length of time. Not even a day. I'm sure you all know the Stryker company motto, "Quality first! But if a working IV pole leaves the factory you're fired." Any hoo, we can't fault them for not working on the IV poles when they are so consumed by the primary objective of designing innovative ways to hide the rail latches so that no two are alike and they can never be found.
hmmm, don't think i've ever seen a new gurney in my med school's hospital. then again, i doubt there's anything new in our hospital.
 

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EMApplicant said:
bedpans? i suppose that could be handy with some of the more monstrous discharges.... :eek:
For those of us that frequently get stuck haveing to do pelvics on non-gyne beds it helps to stick an upsidedown bedpan under the pt's butt. It raises the... area of interest (whew!) up so you have room to use a speculum.
 

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so the bed pan isn't to catch the drippings then? :p
It's a good idea to keep a second one around, in case the patient happens to be spontaneously aborting.
 

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Much like the asystolic 90 year old found down in the field, intubated, transported to the local hospital, worked on for another 30 minutes, recipient of every drug in the code cart, this particular thread will NOT gracefully pass away. To honor this vegetative and strangely entertaining homage to gynobots, I leave to my colleagues the following post.

Speaking of improvisation and adaptation, we peasants laboring at the :) Medical Center often wheel patients into the trauma bays for any necessary HIPPA/GYN related examinations. Talking about vaginal discharge amongst the freshly deceased somehow exemplifies all that is strangely right with emergency medicine. One of my attendings offered me no sympathy when listening to the difficulties surrounding pelvic examination and poor geography. "You know," he says,"I don't understand the problem. Just turn the speculum upside down when doing a pelvic exam so that it won't bump up against the mattress."

"Wow." I replied. Yet another new, inspirational strategy to decrease patient length of stay and facilitate flow through the ED. Forget collapsible beds and voltron forming heads. Why don't we just suspend our patients from the ceiling to create more room? What about utilizing 3d virtual CT technology to create a digital rendering of the vestibule and thus obviate the need for separate exam rooms all together? Down with modular carts and specialized services! Do away with bedpans!

Turning the speculum upside down in deference to those more experienced than I,

-PuSh
 

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I have seen this mystical thing called "gynobot." It is truly amazing, and I have actually *used* one to see a gyn patient!


But I do have to say that I have seen an even funkier gyn "chair." I was ironically enough "visiting" a community ED in my hometown after my mom injured her wrist. Or, as the ED doc succinctly put it, "torqued the hell out of it." The whole department had just finished a multi-million dollar renovation, so naturally, I asked for the tour. In one of the hallways was this odd looking beast, sort of a cross between the Stay-Puft marshmallow man, and a geri-chair. Apparently, that's what they use. Like the gynobot, stirrups pop up, but I have no clue how.

Perhaps this is the new anime version of the gynobot?
 

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Sessamoid said:
It's a good idea to keep a second one around, in case the patient happens to be spontaneously aborting.
I was going to say something crude, along the lines of "that's what I use my coffee cup for" but I will refrain from saying it. For many reasons:

1) I dont' drink coffee, and its not cool to say "Diet Mountain Dew cup"
2) I wouldn't want to have a coup to take me down as Moderator for such sayings
3) Its horribly disgusting.

Q
 

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QuinnNSU said:
2) I wouldn't want to have a coup to take me down as Moderator for such sayings
oh, it wouldn't take a coup. just a power hungry caveman with mod powers looking for an opportunity to increase his cavedom would do. :smuggrin: mwahahaha!!

--your friendly neighborhood usurping caveman
 

docB

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QuinnNSU said:
2) I wouldn't want to have a coup to take me down as Moderator for such sayings
Q
Like this would be the thing to do it as opposed to all the other stuff. :D
 

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sitting in a quiet internet cafe literally laughing out loud at this thread...

you guys rock.
 

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QuinnNSU said:
I was going to say something crude, along the lines of "that's what I use my coffee cup for" but I will refrain from saying it. For many reasons:

1) I dont' drink coffee, and its not cool to say "Diet Mountain Dew cup"
2) I wouldn't want to have a coup to take me down as Moderator for such sayings
3) Its horribly disgusting.

Q
Well I sure am glad you decided against saying it because it might have made me lose taste for this delicious Snicker's Latte I am drinking. Thanks Quinn, as always..... mmmmm... hazlenutty deliciousness.... creamy too.
 

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drkp said:
Well I sure am glad you decided against saying it because it might have made me lose taste for this delicious Snicker's Latte I am drinking. Thanks Quinn, as always..... mmmmm... hazlenutty deliciousness.... creamy too.
Isn't it just always bad when the word "creamy" pops up in the ER?
 

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docB said:
Isn't it just always bad when the word "creamy" pops up in the ER?
Usually, notable exceptions
1)the obvious coffee reference
2)that new traveling rad tech's "A" double scribble
3)the rare but allways wonderful grandma's neverending purse of caramels
 

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docB said:
Isn't it just always bad when the word "creamy" pops up in the ER?
Likewise, the word "cheesy" portends nothing good, if it is being used to refer to anything non-food.
 

DrQuinn

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"frothy"

Discharge is good AND bad:
Get rid of one of our patients
or
cheesy, creamy, and frothy.

Q
 

Febrifuge

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Isn't medical language weird?

"Procedure." Corporate definition: we do it this way because the computer requires it. Medical definition: slap on a mask and get some Lidocaine.

"Concerning." Academic definition: here's what this issue relates to. Medical definition: I'm worried about what that chest film shows.

"Scene." Screenwrighting definition: EXT. PARK -- DAY. Medical definition: where the ambulance goes.

"Discharge." Military definition: thanks for serving, goodbye, farewell. Medical definition: yuck, look at that goo.

"Resident." Financial aid definition: This is my state school, so I get reduced tuition. Medical definition: Wait -- what day of the week is it?
 

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Febrifuge said:
Isn't medical language weird?

"Procedure." Corporate definition: we do it this way because the computer requires it. Medical definition: slap on a mask and get some Lidocaine.

"Concerning." Academic definition: here's what this issue relates to. Medical definition: I'm worried about what that chest film shows.

"Scene." Screenwrighting definition: EXT. PARK -- DAY. Medical definition: where the ambulance goes.

"Discharge." Military definition: thanks for serving, goodbye, farewell. Medical definition: yuck, look at that goo.

"Resident." Financial aid definition: This is my state school, so I get reduced tuition. Medical definition: Wait -- what day of the week is it?

Give it a rest, Feb. Do you think we could get SERIOUS for a minute? :laugh:
 

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NeuroSync said:
Give it a rest, Feb. Do you think we could get SERIOUS for a minute? :laugh:
:p
 

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See. Only on the EM board could this have happened.
 

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so what do you expect from a profession that are 'resuscitation specialists'!
 

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Give it a rest, Feb. Do you think we could get SERIOUS for a minute? :laugh:
NOOOOO!

Dishonorable discharge: military: it's time for you to leave bucko! Medical: It's time for ceftriaxone and doxycycline, bucko!
 

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docB said:
See. Only on the EM board could this have happened.
Wow, docB, you have really reinforced my belief that EM people are the coolest! So crazy-random, I love it! :love:

The real question is, are most EPs and EPs-to-be REALLY this fun???
 

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A deleted thread on the EM forum forum gets more action than the entire Family Medicine forum reinforcing my belief that Emergency Medicine is the cool, occasionally drunk girl who everybody wants to date while FM, well, let's just say FM has a nice personality.
 

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Well well well, I was just thinking about this thread the other day as I spun the flywheel around on a patient's gurney.
"Can't afford your meds? Gee that's a shame!" Wheeeeeee!!! "Oh you smoke three packs a day? 5 times around... that's gotta be a record, I better ask around "So how come you can afford cigarettes, but not medicines? Oh man, Dr. Strangelove says Room 40 got 7 revolutions the other day... Oh, your sister sends you money for cigarettes... well that's nice of her...
 

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BKN said:
NOOOOO!

Dishonorable discharge: military: it's time for you to leave bucko! Medical: It's time for ceftriaxone and doxycycline, bucko!
No, it should be Medical: The health department will be showing up at your door within the next week. Maybe you should send your hubby away on vacation . . . :smuggrin:
 

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Panda Bear said:
A deleted thread on the EM forum forum gets more action than the entire Family Medicine forum reinforcing my belief that Emergency Medicine is the cool, occasionally drunk girl who everybody wants to date while FM, well, let's just say FM has a nice personality.
:love:
 

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Even though I can't ever do a pelvic now with our gynobots without thinking of this thread and Voltron the Transformer I had forgotten just how funny it was. Plus I think we have a few of the flywheel beds and I'm gonna have to try to break USC's record.
 

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docB said:
Like this would be the thing to do it as opposed to all the other stuff. :D
how DO u get a gig like that anyway.. I'm sure it would be a kewl pick-up line at the bar: u know, I.. am.. an SDN moderator, baby!