do you ever feel worthless/inadequate?

[DrPharmacyTech]

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Do any of you feel inadequate, especially when compared those with stellar undergrad grades from top undergrad schools now earning MD degrees at places like Harvard and Hopkins? (and yes,I know it doesn't neccesarily matter where you got your (LCME school) MD from).


I frequently feel indaquate even though I have already been accepted into one MD school (my state school- University of Washington). I also felt inadequate throughout college.


BTW I am currently in the Georgetown SMP (program officials sent updates,no grades have been released this early). I still intend to finish the program....and don't really care for going to another medical school besides my state school....


Here's my story:


I graduated from the University of Washington in three years with a BA in Economics and all pre-med courses completed in 2008 with a 2.7 and 2.2 science GPA. I partied too much the first two months of college and had psychological issues throughout. Three different health professionals AND my parents encouraged me to take some time off, but I refused....I was already getting low grades and wanted continue to better myself....but it was hard with bad grades in my past...etc.


As I child suffered several abuses. I am a male and was sexually molested by at least three separate males at least five times total from the ages 5-10. I didn't tell anyone until I was 17...long story...I was confused...etc. Additionally, I had an older brother (now 29, I am 23) who was physically and mentally abusive up until I left for college (and I'm glad I did!) He did several horrible things to me:


*pushed me outside naked when I was 10 and left me outside for about five minutes
*tied me up and put harmless bugs on me
*forced my twin and I to fight for his enjoyment


All throughout college I was tormented by flashbacks of horrific memories of the abuses I endured. I attempted suicide twice in college because I felt life wasn't worth living because of my low grades and what happened to me. I was on a pre-med track since I was a freshman....after getting a 2.2 GPA my first quarter..things continued to go downhill..it was a crappy cycle.


I left home for college in 2005 and haven't spoken to my older brother since. In fact, he died in 2006 from a drug overdose. I refused to attend the funeral, even though my college was a 2 hour car drive away from home. I did not cry when he died...but my parents died. Honestly, I'm glad he's died. I am also not religious so I don't care too much for doctrines of mercy and unconditional love. Over the summer some friends from college and I pissed on his grave.




Immediately after graduating (with no undergrad debt, thankfully) I moved to Boston to live with family and retook all prereqs at Harvard University Extension School, begining with g-chem in the summer and physics, ochem, and biology during fall 2008 and spring 2009. I completed all my studies a Harvard Extension with 4.0 GPA (retakes!). The lowest cut off for an A in the Extension School pre-med courses was a an 87 percent.




I took GRE in December 2008, and the MCAT in May 2009 (33). I was accepted late into the Georgetown SMP.


I still feel inadequate because I basically sucked in college. It's like I wasted to chance I had to do well. Many cousins of mine went to schools like Princeton, Hopkins, Harvard etc and did very well...


Right now I'm just going to focus on doing well in the SMP and especially in medical school. I will be offered some advanced standing at UWSOM and will use the extra time to enhance my record for a competitive residency match and am very interested in some research fellowships with the NIH and Harvard.


Anybody else feel absolutely horrible about their past poor performance?

 

[Anthropologist]

I'm sorry about what happened to you.

Anyways, I do sometimes feel inadequate about my past poor undergraduate performance. I look on the bright side though. I also finished undergrad in three years and a year later (now) am in the BU MAMS program and doing very well. I already have three MD interviews before grades are even released.

Look on the bright side...you're going to medical school...shine there...because you didn't shine in undergrad...and now the shining actually maters...undergrad is "just" a stepping stone to medical school....well not entirely...but you my point.

You'll have a leg up as a firs year MD student.

So go forth and shine in medical school....AOA....TA classes you already took in the SMP (and make some money!)....persue the summer fellowships that interest...match into residency at Harvard/Yale/Hopkins....

If you didn't shine in undergrad...shine now.

Good luck to you.

 

[darkjedi]

Congratulations are definitely in order

 

[sibitrum]

Troll much?

 

[3 point 14]

I wouldn't feel inadequate about getting into UoW

 

[graduate2be]

You have nothing to feel inadequate about. The fact that you were able to earn your way into Georgetown SMP and UWdub SoM tells me that you are willing to work hard and prove yourself. As far as your past, we've all had some demons but the thing that separates us is how we choose to deal with our issues. Another thing to consider is that your past is just that: Its your past. My father always said that you should learn what you need to learn from it and move on. Don't continue to drag your baggage around with you and you need to realize that you have nothing to forgive yourself for nor do you have a reason to feel inadequate. You finished undergrad, got into what some might say is the top SMP in the nation, and you have been admitted to a most wonderful medical school. Sounds like you've done well to me. Now, question is, how do you choose to move forward with your life?