do you have a child

[imallday17]

Did any of you have a child during MS, Res, or after.
How did you plan it?
Do you feel as if your child has received inadequate attention/time?
What are you looing to specialize in in order to keep a good family balance?

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[Bertelman]

Did any of you have a child during MS, Res, or after.
How did you plan it?
Do you feel as if your child has received inadequate attention/time?
What are you looing to specialize in in order to keep a good family balance?

Have a supportive spouse. If you are female, there are certain times when it would be easier to bear the child. MS4 year is a prime example. There were examples of women in my class, however, who had children during each year, and some who entered med school with kids.

Understand that many, many people in the U.S. work long hours, and they aren't all doctors. My neighbors had "normal" jobs, and worked longer hours than I ever did, with exception of a few MS3 rotations. They had a young boy who spent his days in day care, but was a happy, well-adjusted, loved child.

Finally, if you know you will be having children in med school, it would be extremely helpful to live in a town with close relatives. They can take over on those nights when you just have to study, etc.

 

[umza]

When I started med school, he was 1.5 yo, and now that I am starting res, he is 5.5 yo and starting KG....he doesn't really know the difference, however, now that I am finishing my third call shift in 6 days, he was disappointed that I wouldn't be home tonight. But it is the last call, so we will have more time together. Earlier on, when he was 2-3, it was hard, lots of hard goodbyes. But now it is much easier. It is important to be there for your child, but they must learn that they are individuals in a household, not the center of everything, that way, they do their thing, you do yours, and sometimes, you do stuff together. We get along just fine. Now everyone wants to know, when you are going to have another one! Family and med school are possible, but definitely not easy. Having a supportive spouse and lots of child care assistance is key. Thank goodness for grandma!

 

[umza]

and I am in family medicine. Good options.

 

[johnthestreak]

Did any of you have a child during MS, Res, or after.
How did you plan it?
Do you feel as if your child has received inadequate attention/time?
What are you looing to specialize in in order to keep a good family balance?

to the OP, i see a lot of people on here post about when they should get married or when they should plan to have kids. i feel this is ridiculous. you can always find a reason why this time is good or this time is bad (for marriage or children). the bottom line is that there is never a good time to plan for life-changing events, you just go for them. if you sit around and delay marriage or having children, you will never do either. my wife and i got married and had our first child before i graduated and now have another on the way. the only advise i can give is time-management.

 

[gwen]

totally agree...there is no "good time" for anything. of course, its great if you can plan major events (weddings/babies) out...but if you feel like "oh, just one more year and then it will get better"...um...no! your career will always be busy...

 

[pillowhead]

to the OP, i see a lot of people on here post about when they should get married or when they should plan to have kids. i feel this is ridiculous. you can always find a reason why this time is good or this time is bad (for marriage or children). the bottom line is that there is never a good time to plan for life-changing events, you just go for them. if you sit around and delay marriage or having children, you will never do either. my wife and i got married and had our first child before i graduated and now have another on the way. the only advise i can give is time-management.

I agree with the overall sentiment but let's face it, it is definitely harder for a woman to have a child in med school/residency than it is for a woman. I know of a few guys who managed to deal with a newborn in internship for example but the one woman I know who had a newborn during internship was extremely frazzled and always on the verge of total breakdown from pure physical exhaustion both during the pregnancy and the first 6 mos of so after birth. Plus she was trying to pump during the day to continue breastfeeding and got a very hard time from a lot of people.

So yes, it's true there's not perfect time and if you wait for that time you won't end up being married or having kids. That said, let's not pretend that time-management for a pregnant woman or a new mother is quite the same as time management for the husband of a pregnant woman or a new father. All else being equal, the actual physical demands of pregnancy and much of the physicial demands of early parenthood fall on the woman and there's simply nothing that can change that.

 

[imallday17]

the demand on women i will say has to be beyond a our scope of thought being a man... with that said, i know "anything is possible" but, I just dont want to be father that isnt there for his child... i know itll be demanding while in school, but im thinkin towards res-fellow-work force, will i be able to "raise" my child, not just tuck them in at night... thanks for responding so far

 

[drbon]

my husband and i are both Ms-4s now. i just had our son back in february right at the end of my 3rd year. it's definitely doable/manageable, although extremely difficult. right now we're both trying to study for step 2 and it's really stressful on both of us. but we enrolled my now 5 months old in day care and my parents live near by, which reallly has been extremely helpful. i think we did it at an opportune time, so we can spend 4th year of med school during our son's first year of life and therefore spend much more time with him than we will get to in residency. it makes things like studying a little more complicated, but i wouldn't trade him for anything in the world. if you want to have a child before you're an attending, i'd suggest doing it in med school. residency will just be too crazy for a newborn, although some people do it. like someone on this forum told me last year when i was thinking about getting pregnant..."there's NEVER a 'best' time to have a child in medicine, so if you want one, just do it and you'll most likely be glad you did"

 

[drtx]

I am going to be very honest with you. I had a chilld during my second year of med school. I missed out on a lot. We planned the pregnancy at that time because I knew I didn't want to be pregnant during residency. I still think it was the best thing but there are definitely several regrets that I have about all the time I had to be away.