doctors acting like you ain't special

Started by batista_123
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batista_123

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hi
I have only had shadowing interactions with like 3 docs, and I am not sure if this is true about all docs. but why is it that doctors always act like "you ain't special"?
here is what I mean: I used to shadow this doctor a long time ago. Today I went in as a surprise visit. I walked into his office, expecting him to get up and give me a hug, maybe ask me "how have you been?" ??
but no, he sees me, and he says
"hey. what are you doing here?"
"I was just in the neighborhood, thought I would come see you."
"ok, I am kind of busy now, I am reading this article. Can you come back tomorrow?"

or:
this other time, I go in for a surprise visit with another doctor. He was on the phone. so he sees me, he doesnt show anything...he acts as if I have been there since the beginning of the day. when he gets off the phone, nothing.

look. I realize I am not special. I am a nobody. but most human beings would show some excitement upon seeing someone that they havent seen for a long time.
Does medicine make you this way? like it turns off all your emotions?
 
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When I stopped by outside of a scheduled shadowing appointment it was to drop off my thank you card + gift

batista_123 said:
hi
I have only had shadowing interactions with like 3 docs, and I am not sure if this is true about all docs. but why is it that doctors always act like "you ain't special"?
here is what I mean: I used to shadow this doctor a long time ago. Today I went in as a surprise visit. I walked into his office, expecting him to get up and give me a hug, maybe ask me "how have you been?" ??
but no, he sees me, and he says
"hey. what are you doing here?"
"I was just in the neighborhood, thought I would come see you."
"ok, I am kind of busy now, I am reading this article. Can you come back tomorrow?"

or:
this other time, I go in for a surprise visit with another doctor. He was on the phone. so he sees me, he doesnt show anything...he acts as if I have been there since the beginning of the day. when he gets off the phone, nothing.

look. I realize I am not special. I am a nobody. but most human beings would show some excitement upon seeing someone that they havent seen for a long time.
Does medicine make you this way? like it turns off all your emotions?
Click to expand...
 
batista_123 said:
hi
I have only had shadowing interactions with like 3 docs, and I am not sure if this is true about all docs. but why is it that doctors always act like "you ain't special"?
here is what I mean: I used to shadow this doctor a long time ago. Today I went in as a surprise visit. I walked into his office, expecting him to get up and give me a hug, maybe ask me "how have you been?" ??
but no, he sees me, and he says
"hey. what are you doing here?"
"I was just in the neighborhood, thought I would come see you."
"ok, I am kind of busy now, I am reading this article. Can you come back tomorrow?"

or:
this other time, I go in for a surprise visit with another doctor. He was on the phone. so he sees me, he doesnt show anything...he acts as if I have been there since the beginning of the day. when he gets off the phone, nothing.

look. I realize I am not special. I am a nobody. but most human beings would show some excitement upon seeing someone that they havent seen for a long time.
Does medicine make you this way? like it turns off all your emotions?
Click to expand...

You should probably stop dropping in unannounced. That gets annoying.
 
Yeah that's weird that they didn't give you much acknowledgement, however I'd avoid dropping in at people's workplaces unannounced as that can be kind of weird too.
 
batista_123 said:
hi
I have only had shadowing interactions with like 3 docs, and I am not sure if this is true about all docs. but why is it that doctors always act like "you ain't special"?
here is what I mean: I used to shadow this doctor a long time ago. Today I went in as a surprise visit. I walked into his office, expecting him to get up and give me a hug, maybe ask me "how have you been?" ??
but no, he sees me, and he says
"hey. what are you doing here?"
"I was just in the neighborhood, thought I would come see you."
"ok, I am kind of busy now, I am reading this article. Can you come back tomorrow?"

or:
this other time, I go in for a surprise visit with another doctor. He was on the phone. so he sees me, he doesnt show anything...he acts as if I have been there since the beginning of the day. when he gets off the phone, nothing.

look. I realize I am not special. I am a nobody. but most human beings would show some excitement upon seeing someone that they havent seen for a long time.
Does medicine make you this way? like it turns off all your emotions?
Click to expand...
Are you seriously that needy? :eyebrow:
 
They think they're it. People these days are sick, you'll see it everywhere.
 
images
 
batista_123 said:
hi
I have only had shadowing interactions with like 3 docs, and I am not sure if this is true about all docs. but why is it that doctors always act like "you ain't special"?
here is what I mean: I used to shadow this doctor a long time ago. Today I went in as a surprise visit. I walked into his office, expecting him to get up and give me a hug, maybe ask me "how have you been?" ??
but no, he sees me, and he says
"hey. what are you doing here?"
"I was just in the neighborhood, thought I would come see you."
"ok, I am kind of busy now, I am reading this article. Can you come back tomorrow?"

or:
this other time, I go in for a surprise visit with another doctor. He was on the phone. so he sees me, he doesnt show anything...he acts as if I have been there since the beginning of the day. when he gets off the phone, nothing.

look. I realize I am not special. I am a nobody. but most human beings would show some excitement upon seeing someone that they havent seen for a long time.
Does medicine make you this way? like it turns off all your emotions?
Click to expand...

They're busy and have more important things to do.
 
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Is it possible that they don't remember you? If they didn't remember your first name then they were probably quite a bit surprised and you just happened to catch them on a busy day, otherwise I would think that if they were people you were pretty close to they would at least politely ask you to leave...just my 2 cents
 
...Because, believe it or not, YOU'RE NOT!

Honestly, I wouldn't walk into my old medical director's office "expecting a hug." I get a "Hello, how are you?" when I see her in the hospital but we worked together for quite awhile. You're expecting something from someone you basically observed/formally annoyed for awhile? Think about it. Walking in and randomly visiting docs you've shadowed is just plain annoying. Admittedly, I have walked in and visited my old professors like that after not having seen them in years but usually I let them know I'll be around or, at the very least, try to gauge if they have time for a hello and if not try again some other time. Learn to be sensitive to the time others have. You're probably just annoying these physicians and they haven't the hearts to tell you to leave them the heck alone quite yet.
 
batista_123 said:
hi
I have only had shadowing interactions with like 3 docs, and I am not sure if this is true about all docs. but why is it that doctors always act like "you ain't special"?
here is what I mean: I used to shadow this doctor a long time ago. Today I went in as a surprise visit. I walked into his office, expecting him to get up and give me a hug, maybe ask me "how have you been?" ??
but no, he sees me, and he says
"hey. what are you doing here?"
"I was just in the neighborhood, thought I would come see you."
"ok, I am kind of busy now, I am reading this article. Can you come back tomorrow?"

or:
this other time, I go in for a surprise visit with another doctor. He was on the phone. so he sees me, he doesnt show anything...he acts as if I have been there since the beginning of the day. when he gets off the phone, nothing.

look. I realize I am not special. I am a nobody. but most human beings would show some excitement upon seeing someone that they havent seen for a long time.
Does medicine make you this way? like it turns off all your emotions?
Click to expand...

Maybe you should stop making surprise visits? I'm sure they're happy to mentor you, but they're busy people with cemented schedules.
 
or should I say, there ain't no way the OP is serious

I would be totally creeped out if I were the doctor and someone who shadowed me randomly showed up unannounced
 
PJ meowerton said:
or should I say, there ain't no way the OP is serious

I would be totally creeped out if I were the doctor and someone who shadowed me randomly showed up unannounced
Click to expand...
What are you talking about? Doctors are people too bro, the MD doesn't make them robots.

I've shadowed a few doctors for extended periods of time. If I saw them walking around, you're damn right I'll go over there and say hi if I can recognize that they're not busy. It's just the friendly thing to do. Not bad for connections either.
 
Have you ever had people show up to your place of work unannounced when you are really busy?

I'm not sure if you expected them to drop everything for the sake of you, but they are on a time crunch. It would be much more polite to schedule a time to meet up.
 
JoshuaGuit said:
What are you talking about? Doctors are people too bro, the MD doesn't make them robots.

I've shadowed a few doctors for extended periods of time. If I saw them walking around, you're damn right I'll go over there and say hi if I can recognize that they're not busy. It's just the friendly thing to do. Not bad for connections either.
Click to expand...


Its weird and pretentious to show up unannounced while someone is working. I don't understand how the OP even got to the doctor in the first place. Did they waltz past the front desk and go straight to their office assuming they'd be in there? doesn't make sense to me, thats why I don't buy it.

If you saw them out in public, like at a grocery store or the mall or something then yah go ahead and say hi, but showing up at someone's work unannounced is strange.

If you happened to be at their clinic or hospital for other reasons and passed them in the hall I'd think a smile and hi would be appropriate, let them initiate the convo if they want but I wouldn't assume that they even want to talk to you or remember who you are.
 
Let me get this straight:

1) some time ago you begged some drs to let you shadow, a couple said yes.

2) you shadowed them (and were obv not memorable)

3) you showed up unannounced at their office looking for hugs.

4) they were like wtf, why are you here?

5) you cried

6) now you're whining that doctors don't think your special on sdn.

Did I get it about right?
 
drizzt3117 said:
Let me get this straight:

1) some time ago you begged some drs to let you shadow, a couple said yes.

2) you shadowed them (and were obv not memorable)

3) you showed up unannounced at their office looking for hugs.

4) they were like wtf, why are you here?

5) you cried

6) now you're whining that doctors don't think your special on sdn.

Did I get it about right?
Click to expand...
I know I shouldn't laugh, but that is pretty funny. :meanie:
 
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I'm going to give you the trolling benefit of the doubt. This is a matter of perspective. From your view, you've completed an otherwise unusual activity and spent some quality time with this person, doing things that are very memorable given your limited background. From the doctor's point of view, you are one of many pre-meds with whom he has shared his average daily life, and he has a lot of patients to see. From your point of view, dropping by unannounced is a "surprise." From the doctor's point of view, they assume you scheduled your visit with one of the other staff members and he overlooked it on his schedule, and you're there for a purposeful reason. If that isn't the case, there's a chance they would view your actions as inappropriate, as you should not be interrupting their busy day unannounced.

Your perspective and thus your expectations should be reexamined.
 
Maybe OP is needy but I think the doctors are being real jerks as well if these stories are true. Maybe I am sensitive to this post because the same thing has happened to me. I live next to two of the doctors I shadowed and they won't even wave in the neighborhood.
 
Hold the phone. You're saying that you barged into a doctor's office completely unannounced and were not showered with hugs and affection? Unbelievable.

You're lucky he didn't straight up tell you to gtfo.
 
msquaredb said:
Maybe OP is needy but I think the doctors are being real jerks as well if these stories are true. Maybe I am sensitive to this post because the same thing has happened to me. I live next to two of the doctors I shadowed and they won't even wave in the neighborhood.
Click to expand...

Honestly. I don't think the doctors are being THAT unreasonable if this is at all true.

Dropping in for a "surprise visit"... is not acceptable. It's different if he was doing it in passing, like "hey was in the neighborhood, I stumbled upon this apple pie... here you go!" and then promptly departing. Then being like, hey Dr. So and So, I was wondering when I could come back in for shadowing.
 
Doctors are pretty busy people. It's weird how you didn't pick that up from your shadowing experiences.

Also, some people just don't like surprises. For example, my old physics teacher straight up told our class not to visit him after we graduated because he would feel awkward and uncomfortable, but he was a great teacher nonetheless.
 
CodeBlu said:
Honestly. I don't think the doctors are being THAT unreasonable if this is at all true.

Dropping in for a "surprise visit"... is not acceptable. It's different if he was doing it in passing, like "hey was in the neighborhood, I stumbled upon this apple pie... here you go!" and then promptly departing. Then being like, hey Dr. So and So, I was wondering when I could come back in for shadowing.
Click to expand...

Which is why I think the OP is a bit needy. The second one who apparently ignored him completely was rude...the other one could have masked his feelings better.

Honestly, I hesitate to believe the post. I have no reason to not believe him, but anybody who would complain online about this would not be past exaggerating the story.
 
Basically it doesn't matter if OP is a big weirdo or not. Doctors can fake kindness for a real jerk in the ER they should be able to fake kindness for an aspiring doctor who looks up to them.

What should happen is hardly what actually happens though. Such is life I guess.
 
Next time you visit a physician, you should probably bring a dozen roses and a heart shaped box of chocolate.
 
msquaredb said:
Basically it doesn't matter if OP is a big weirdo or not. Doctors can fake kindness for a real jerk in the ER they should be able to fake kindness for an aspiring doctor who looks up to them.

What should happen is hardly what actually happens though. Such is life I guess.
Click to expand...
So because doctors can treat a patient in the ER (or a family member of one) professionally even when they are not acting professionally themselves, the doctor should disrupt his schedule for an unannounced visit by someone who shadowed them? On the one hand, you have a patient who may be in extreme pain, may be dying, may be seriously ill whose JOB it is for the doctor to see, evaluate and treat. On the other hand you have a pre-med shadow who decides to drop by at the doctor's workplace without giving prior notice and expects the doctor to act like they are his long-lost twin sibling. I see the parallel.🙄
 
Maybe it's just me, but I find it inappropriate to drop in unexpected to peoples' workplace even if it's not medicine (and outside the business of the company of course).

Sure there are some jobs where you could get away with it. And we did it a bunch in high school. But I would not surprisingly visit someone at work or want someone to visit me at work even if it was a close friend. You never know how busy someone is or how important it is what they're doing. You really will just become an inconvenience.
 
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Barcu said:
Maybe it's just me, but I find it inappropriate to drop in unexpected to peoples' workplace even if it's not medicine (and outside the business of the company of course).

Sure there are some jobs where you could get away with it. And we did it a bunch in high school. But I would not surprisingly visit someone at work or want someone to visit me at work even if it was a close friend. You never know how busy someone is or how important it is what they're doing. You really will just become an inconvenience.
Click to expand...

+1. Except maybe professor's offices since they have office hours and stuff anyway.
 
theseeker4 said:
So because doctors can treat a patient in the ER (or a family member of one) professionally even when they are not acting professionally themselves, the doctor should disrupt his schedule for an unannounced visit by someone who shadowed them? On the one hand, you have a patient who may be in extreme pain, may be dying, may be seriously ill whose JOB it is for the doctor to see, evaluate and treat. On the other hand you have a pre-med shadow who decides to drop by at the doctor's workplace without giving prior notice and expects the doctor to act like they are his long-lost twin sibling. I see the parallel.🙄
Click to expand...

You exaggerated for the sake of your argument. I never implied the physician should act like the shadower is a "long-lost sibling". I merely suggested the physician should respect the shadower even if it is a nuisance.

Your argument also indicates some of your preconceptions about physicians. So it is fine for them to muster up/fake/have kindness when it is their job but not in their personal life or dealings with needy students? I believe a doctor's caring and patience should be a trait not just induced by the prospect of keeping a job or earning money. Whether it is genuine or forced doesn't matter. What matters is that is administered across the board.

Why is it so hard for people here to accept that doctors can be rude. I have already conceded the poster is needy, and I maintain the doctors (if the poster is being honest) may have acted arrogant and rude.

When have we started making busyness an excuse for rudeness? Is there ever an excuse for rudeness?
 
msquaredb said:
You exaggerated for the sake of your argument. I never implied the physician should act like the shadower is a "long-lost sibling". I merely suggested the physician should respect the shadower even if it is a nuisance.

Your argument also indicates some of your preconceptions about physicians. So it is fine for them to muster up/fake/have kindness when it is their job but not in their personal life or dealings with needy students? I believe a doctor's caring and patience should be a trait not just induced by the prospect of keeping a job or earning money. Whether it is genuine or forced doesn't matter. What matters is that is administered across the board.

Why is it so hard for people here to accept that doctors can be rude. I have already conceded the poster is needy, and I maintain the doctors (if the poster is being honest) may have acted arrogant and rude.

When have we started making busyness an excuse for rudeness? Is there ever an excuse for rudeness?
Click to expand...

There seem to be two camps on this rudeness thing. You think it's rude that the doctor didn't acknowldege the student.

I actually believe it is rude to stop in unannounced to someone's office because it may be a big inconvenience. I even think this if the person who stops in is a friend. I just don't think it's appropriate.

If you do stop in unannounced (like you are right next door or in the neighborhood) you shouldn't be expecting any response at all.
 
Barcu said:
There seem to be two camps on this rudeness thing. You think it's rude that the doctor didn't acknowldege the student.

I actually believe it is rude to stop in unannounced to someone's office because it may be a big inconvenience. I even think this if the person who stops in is a friend. I just don't think it's appropriate.

If you do stop in unannounced (like you are right next door or in the neighborhood) you shouldn't be expecting any response at all.
Click to expand...

I think stopping in is rude as well. I am just not a fan of returning rudeness with rudeness.
 
msquaredb said:
I think stopping in is rude as well. I am just not a fan of returning rudeness with rudeness.
Click to expand...

Ah, that makes sense.

I just wouldn't think it would be rude to get that in response if I dropped in unannounced. Just differences in what is rude or not. I guess these arguments will persist forever.
 
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