Does anyone else hate Orthoblather?

[RustedFox]

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Members don't see this ad.

... or is it just me?

Like, "Ah; this patient has a positive yank-crankarm rest in the setting of subacute shoulder injury without associated loss during turbopronation... this is almost diagnostic for McDickerson's Capsulitis."

Like, I know it's real medicine. Real injury stuff.
I just find it so laaaame.

 

[Birdstrike]

... or is it just me?

Like, "Ah; this patient has a positive yank-crankarm rest in the setting of subacute shoulder injury without associated loss during turbopronation... this is almost diagnostic for McDickerson's Capsulitis."

Like, I know it's real medicine. Real injury stuff.
I just find it so laaaame.

I think I can help out. Let me help translate the grunts and groans of Ortho Man:

“this patient positive yank-crankarm rest” = No. Call. Me.

“ subacute shoulder injury without” = No. Call. Me.

“ turbopronation... almost …McDickerson's Capsulitis” = No. Call. Me.

 

[HemeOncHopeful19]

... or is it just me?

Like, "Ah; this patient has a positive yank-crankarm rest in the setting of subacute shoulder injury without associated loss during turbopronation... this is almost diagnostic for McDickerson's Capsulitis."

Like, I know it's real medicine. Real injury stuff.
I just find it so laaaame.

RustedFox replies:

 

[TooMuchResearch]

... or is it just me?

Like, "Ah; this patient has a positive yank-crankarm rest in the setting of subacute shoulder injury without associated loss during turbopronation... this is almost diagnostic for McDickerson's Capsulitis."

Like, I know it's real medicine. Real injury stuff.
I just find it so laaaame.

I don't do any of this stuff...
"Shoulder hurts, xray negative, f/u in two weeks if not better."
Since 90% will be better in two weeks, painful exam doesn't matter. Since the 10% who don't get better in two weeks will get an MRI, painful exam doesn't matter.

 

[thegenius]

worse is Ophtho blather. Their notes literally are just jibberish. A bunch of letters and numbers thrown together.

30/50 DPE, 2+ OTX, 1/32 RMX DPDP MRGAHTHANGJN
AARRGHH
MAMA 50/90 340F XOE T. BLOK/MOK?TOC/DOCDOC
DUK DUK GUUSE

 

[gutonc]

Let's not forget Derm, who has 72 different Latin words that all mean "rash".

 

[NYEMMED]

worse is Ophtho blather. Their notes literally are just jibberish. A bunch of letters and numbers thrown together.

30/50 DPE, 2+ OTX, 1/32 RMX DPDP MRGAHTHANGJN
AARRGHH
MAMA 50/90 340F XOE T. BLOK/MOK?TOC/DOCDOC
DUK DUK GUUSE

This!

If you are lucky enough to get a optho consult in the ED, rare I know, then I swear they sneak in and out avoiding contact with anybody.

Then their note is all:

OD, OS, ABCEDFG, 20/100/20/30
D opth q1 x 5

And then I have to call them again to see what they wanted….

 

[Druggernaut]

God bless WikEM, I was about to call the ophthalmology resident back to ask what the "AFTs" they want started actually are.

It's the only specialty I've consulted and said, "You guys saw this guy in clinic. I have absolutely no idea what this note means, so I'm going to read it to you verbatim."

 

[RustedFox]

Yo mama's got a HUGE cup-to-disc ratio.

 

[PianoMedic]

God bless WikEM, I was about to call the ophthalmology resident back to ask what the "AFTs" they want started actually are.

It's the only specialty I've consulted and said, "You guys saw this guy in clinic. I have absolutely no idea what this note means, so I'm going to read it to you verbatim."
View attachment 362035

Does that first line actually work? You copy and paste in the ophtho note and it spits out something that resembles English?

 

[RustedFox]

Does that first line actually work? You copy and paste in the ophtho note and it spits out something that resembles English?

... It's like having a Rosetta Stone for ophthoblather.

 

[RuralEDDoc]

Orthoblather is meaningless in the ED since none of the exams mean a thing for acute pain. Try an anterior drawer exam on someone with an acute ACL tear. They will punch you in the nose. Way to much inflammation for most acute injuries to be meaningfully diagnosed. See them a week later in clinic and sure, do all the tests. But in the ED, splint and let someone manage the orthoblather next week.

 

[Druggernaut]

Does that first line actually work? You copy and paste in the ophtho note and it spits out something that resembles English?

I haven't had a chance to use that part since I can't see their clinic notes where I work now and the ED notes tend to be lighter on the jargon, but I'm still thankful for the abbreviation list.

 

[Dred Pirate]

God bless WikEM, I was about to call the ophthalmology resident back to ask what the "AFTs" they want started actually are.

This is one of the dumbest abbreviations ever- as the pharmacist that would be dispensing/transcribing this order, I wouldn't have known what that means - you can just pull a letter out of the middle of the word and make it part of the abbreviation?? just ssy "tears" - I mean, it has two more letters and actually says what you want.