Don't take it for granted

[crispatela]

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Based on your posting history it sounds like you have issues with women. You really should deal with this inner problem and not blame it on the fact that you think every woman is fat, pregnant, white trash at age 18.

yes

 

[Corriefangirl]

I can't address all of this, but I will volunteer that if you're not interested in black guys, then you have to try to hang out with people not of your race. In my med school, all of the black students hung out with each other, which essentially makes it pretty difficult to approach them. I don't know if that would make other black students think worse of you, but I think it would help.

Yeah I've never really gotten along with most black students because I come from a strict African household and generally "ghetto" people don't mix well with Africans (just different values, especially when it comes to education and respect for elders). A lot of guys tell me I'm pretty but as far as approaching me, very few...

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Yeah I've never really gotten along with most black students because I come from a strict African household and generally "ghetto" people don't mix well with Africans (just different values, especially when it comes to education and respect for elders). A lot of guys tell me I'm pretty but as far as approaching me, very few...

Uh, which guys are telling you that you're pretty? Why don't you date them?

 

[jakeislove]

Uh, which guys are telling you that you're pretty? Why don't you date them?

Africans think they're better than African Americans.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Africans think they're better than African Americans.

That's pretty common knowledge. They have a point, but this isn't a thread about racial issues. She was just mentioning it to explain where she was coming from in terms of dating.

 

[Winged Scapula]

How do yo assume his friends/family are involved? Whats the problem with the student / whoever posting the case on SDN? Does this make SDN liable?

1) Because that's the general MO of spammers to post with the assist of others.
2) A single post is acceptable if it meets the criteria for SDN forum topics. Posting multiple copies of the same thing, or spamming the forums, is not acceptable.
3) SDN is not "liable" per se in this case but user identity/IP can be subpoenaed in the event of a lawsuit. SDN does not provide free advertising or blogging space for users who may be trying to curry favor in the event of a lawsuit and their presence here violates the TOS restriction against users who register for that purpose.

 

[jakeislove]

That's pretty common knowledge. They have a point, but this isn't a thread about racial issues. She was just mentioning it to explain where she was coming from in terms of dating.

I've always had a really easy time meeting women.

Are pickings are really that slim where you're living?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

I've always had a really easy time meeting women.

Are pickings are really that slim where you're living?

A lot of it was my fault, since I've lived for extended periods of time in major metropolitan cities and didn't date (I don't drink or like going to clubs, so that actually axed out a lot of opportunities to meet people). Now, I'm getting older and I'm stuck for the duration in a fairly rural area, so now it's less my fault.

 

[jakeislove]

A lot of it was my fault, since I've lived for extended periods of time in major metropolitan cities and didn't date (I don't drink or like going to clubs, so that actually axed out a lot of opportunities to meet people). Now, I'm getting older and I'm stuck for the duration in a fairly rural area, so now it's less my fault.

I believe the time requirements of medicine (especially surgery) can really make it easier to ignore some of our issues.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

I believe the time requirements of medicine (especially surgery) can really make it easier to ignore some of our issues.

That's what happened, although I can't use that totally as an excuse, since of course there are a lot of married surgeons. (Also, there are a lot of surgeons who have never been married, but that's cold comfort.)

 

[jakeislove]

That's what happened, although I can't use that totally as an excuse, since of course there are a lot of married surgeons. (Also, there are a lot of surgeons who have never been married, but that's cold comfort.)

Don't give up. There's definitely no shortage of women!

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Don't give up. There's definitely no shortage of women!

I'm not giving up, but I'm quite dubious of that, lol.

 

[jakeislove]

I'm not giving up, but I'm quite dubious of that, lol.

People usually find someone the moment they stop looking.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

People usually find someone the moment they stop looking.

That's good because I'm about to stop looking. 🙂 Everyone keeps telling me to just live life, rather than specifically look for someone. So I decided to do that, although, frankly, that's what I was doing up until now, so I fail to see how that works.

 

[Anastomoses]

Push up bra and a v neck and aggressively hit on guys in your class. Guys are dumb they don't get hints though so try actually asking them out.

I can't think of worse advice. Besides, what in the world are you talking about? You give the smallest politeness and plenty of guys think you're interested when you're not. I think most guys read into things, rather than miss hints. If they are missing hints, it's on purpose.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

I can't think of worse advice. Besides, what in the world are you talking about? You give the smallest politeness and plenty of guys think you're interested when you're not. I think most guys read into things, rather than miss hints. If they are missing hints, it's on purpose.

That's not true. Women think that their hints are obvious, but they're not. It'll be like "I can't believe he didn't pick up on the fact that I touched my hair when he was looking at me!!"

 

[Isha2018]

That's not true. Women think that their hints are obvious, but they're not. It'll be like "I can't believe he didn't pick up on the fact that I touched my hair when he was looking at me!!"

Guys can be pretty clueless. When my wife and I went on our first 'date,' I thought I was just going to the movies with friends.

Thankfully, my wife tells me what she wants when I don't clue in. I'm just not as observant, although I have improved over the years. 🙂

 

[niahaynooph]

1) Because that's the general MO of spammers to post with the assist of others.
2) A single post is acceptable if it meets the criteria for SDN forum topics. Posting multiple copies of the same thing, or spamming the forums, is not acceptable.
3) SDN is not "liable" per se in this case but user identity/IP can be subpoenaed in the event of a lawsuit. SDN does not provide free advertising or blogging space for users who may be trying to curry favor in the event of a lawsuit and their presence here violates the TOS restriction against users who register for that purpose.

I appreciate your humility and playing along and answering my questions even though you knew it was me all along.
-"former disgruntled student"

 

[niahaynooph]

I appreciate your humility and playing along and answering my questions even though you knew it was me all along.
-"former disgruntled student"

and i was surprised you decided to not ban my usernames. already banned them myself, thanks though.

 

[niahaynooph]

"Sorry guys...there is no FB post.

This is a scam by a disgruntled former student who is trying to find a way to post here to curry favor for his law suit."

-Winged Scapula, October 4 2013

 

[niahaynooph]

GW studs - check ur FB "other" messages, including the attachments.

 

[mulberry]

That's a good way for all of the female (and male) med students to assume you're a ho. We had one girl -- I have no idea what she was thinking -- wear a very tight T-shirt with a push-up bra. She was persona non grata among the women for the rest of medical school. Oh, and she never wore that outfit to class again.

Dafuq is wrong with a tight t-shirt and pushup? That's pretty typical dress attire for class. Sucks to suck. I would hate having stuck up girls like that in my class.

 

[Kahreek]

getting cues is part of the game, sometimes i look back, replay the events in my mind, and things become obvious. So girls if you are after a guy, and he seems not to dig you but he sticks around probably he is just too shy for his own good and to ask you out, anyways maybe thats not what you want after all. Woman prefer to be rejected hard (get turned on?) than bearing with some no game guy.

 

[Brain Bucket]

That's a good way for all of the female (and male) med students to assume you're a ho. We had one girl -- I have no idea what she was thinking -- wear a very tight T-shirt with a push-up bra. She was persona non grata among the women for the rest of medical school. Oh, and she never wore that outfit to class again.

What dicks. I'm dead serious. What a colossally stupid reason to ostracize someone. If this girl was in my class and others treated her this way, I'd rip them a new one.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

What dicks. I'm dead serious. What a colossally stupid reason to ostracize someone. If this girl was in my class and others treated her this way, I'd rip them a new one.

You could, but understand that most medical students, regardless of political bent, have an understanding that you behave a certain way. I'm sure she could dress that way to a club (and I'm sure she has before), but that's not really appropriate for classes or rotations. You may not like it, but that's how it goes. If a girl wore a micro-mini to classes or a tube top, it would also be frowned upon by many people, too, probably.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Frowned upon is quite different from being a complete colossal dick about it.

Why stop at a mini? She could show up naked and it would be frowned upon. On the other hand, she could show up in a burka, and that would be frowned upon as well. Doesn't mean ****all. The reason we dress a 'certain way' is so that our patients can place a certain amount of trust in us, not for the expedience or delicate sensibilities of our colleagues.

If I don't like it, you can be damned sure I'm going to do something about it.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Frowned upon is quite different from being a complete colossal dick about it.

Why stop at a mini? She could show up naked and it would be frowned upon. On the other hand, she could show up in a burka, and that would be frowned upon as well. Doesn't mean ****all. The reason we dress a 'certain way' is so that our patients can place a certain amount of trust in us, not for the expedience or delicate sensibilities of our colleagues.

If I don't like it, you can be damned sure I'm going to do something about it.

So if a woman wore a burka and patients didn't like it, you'd tell her to take it off? I doubt it. You're just shooting your own argument in its figurative foot.

 

[Brain Bucket]

?

I think I need to state my argument a little more explicitly:

Part A:
1. She's M1.
2. She's not seeing any patients.
3. It doesn't matter what she wears/doesn't wear so long as it adheres with the contract she signed with the University.
4. It's none of the other students' business.

Part B:
1. Once she starts seeing patients, she'll quickly realize that if she wants her patients to trust her, they'll need to be comfortable with her.
2. It's still none of the other students' business.

Part C:
1. It's deplorable that the rest of you stood by and did nothing. Ostracize someone for 4 years for their choice in clothing on the first day? What kind of dickless wonders are you?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

1) It wasn't the first day, nor did I ever state it was.
2) She was an M2, not an M1.
3) I "stood by" because I didn't approve of it either, not because I was dickless.
4) Your Part B still fails because, as I said, if the patient wasn't comfortable with her hypothetical burka, you wouldn't tell her to take it off.
5) Nobody said she should get kicked out of medical school, so your Part A, Point 3 is just an irrelevant statement.
6) Part A, Point 4 is your opinion, but it happens to be wrong because none of us is obligated to ignore anyone's behavior, either in medical school or society.
7) Calling people "dickless wonders" doesn't strengthen your arguments, nor does it make you a bad-ass.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

I can't think of worse advice. Besides, what in the world are you talking about? You give the smallest politeness and plenty of guys think you're interested when you're not. I think most guys read into things, rather than miss hints. If they are missing hints, it's on purpose.

Guys are so dumb we do both.

We pick up on the hints you aren't dropping, and miss the ones you are!

 

[ruralsurg4now]

Guys are so dumb we do both.

We pick up on the hints you aren't dropping, and miss the ones you are!

QFT.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Let's see:

1) It wasn't the first day, nor did I ever state it was.
2) She was an M2, not an M1.

- So, after 1 year of her dressing this way, people suddenly decided to find it objectionable? Or did she wear this outfit once in M2, as your post indicates, and that was enough? Clearly, or rather, hopefully there's something missing.

3) I "stood by" because I didn't approve of it either, not because I was dickless.

- NOYFB. I'll address this further 3 paragraphs down.

4) Your Part B still fails because, as I said, if the patient wasn't comfortable with her hypothetical burka, you wouldn't tell her to take it off.

- I never said I would or wouldn't do something about it. Please point out where I did. What I did say is that it'd be NOMFB.

5) Nobody said she should get kicked out of medical school, so your Part A, Point 3 is just an irrelevant statement.

- It's not irrelevant because it's leading to the statement, once again, that it's NOYFB how she chooses to dress. You seem to have trouble following my train of thought, which is why I decided to state the obvious linearly. Each point leads to the next. Again, in case you didn't catch it the first or second time - there is a reason why we dress 'professionally', and that reason has nothing to do with our classmates. Getting kicked out of med school doesn't even come into the picture. I honestly don't know how you got there.

6) Part A, Point 4 is your opinion, but it happens to be wrong because none of us is obligated to ignore anyone's behavior, either in medical school or society.

- It is not my opinion. Your interpretation is incorrect. Besides which, do you feel your decision to ostracize her for ALL of medical school is a professional, acceptable, and measured response? Please understand that it's your response, and not your opinion I'm taking issue with. Everyone judges everyone. It's a part of life. Not everyone likes you, nor does everyone dislike you, but I cannot even begin to fathom the level of insecurity it would take to shun someone FOR ALL OF MEDICAL SCHOOL because they chose to wear a push-up with a 'tight' t-shirt even after she chose to change it.

7) Calling people "dickless wonders" doesn't strengthen your arguments, nor does it make you a bad-ass.

No, but it does make my distaste for such a pathetic response unequivocally clear. I stand to gain nothing from defending this girl on an online, relatively anonymous forum.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

- So, after 1 year of her dressing this way, people suddenly decided to find it objectionable? Or did she wear this outfit once in M2, as your post indicates, and that was enough? Clearly, or rather, hopefully there's something missing.

She wore it once in M2 and that was enough. She never wore it again.

- I never said I would or wouldn't do something about it. Please point out where I did. What I did say is that it'd be NOMFB.

You said that the only important thing was that patients are comfortable being seen by the person. I pointed out that your statement is false because you wouldn't tell the burka-wearer to remove her burka. That proves that your original statement was just a front.

- It's not irrelevant because it's leading to the statement, once again, that it's NOYFB how she chooses to dress. You seem to have trouble following my train of thought, which is why I decided to state the obvious linearly. Each point leads to the next. Again, in case you didn't catch it the first or second time - there is a reason why we dress 'professionally', and that reason has nothing to do with our classmates. Getting kicked out of med school doesn't even come into the picture. I honestly don't know how you got there.

I got to it because you were talking about "the contract that she signed with the University." There's a reason we dress "professionally" and regardless of what you say, yes, part of it does have to do with our peers. And the rest of it has to do with our patients, but you just proved with the above example that if the patient was uncomfortable you'd STILL ignore it out of some liberal leaning.

- It is not my opinion. Your interpretation is incorrect. Besides which, do you feel your decision to ostracize her for ALL of medical school is a professional, acceptable, and measured response? Please understand that it's your response, and not your opinion I'm taking issue with. Everyone judges everyone. It's a part of life. Not everyone likes you, nor does everyone dislike you, but I cannot even begin to fathom the level of insecurity it would take to shun someone FOR ALL OF MEDICAL SCHOOL because they chose to wear a push-up with a 'tight' t-shirt even after she chose to change it.

That's the only sentence you needed to write.

No, but it does make my distaste for such a pathetic response unequivocally clear. I stand to gain nothing from defending this girl on an online, relatively anonymous forum.

But nobody cares about your distaste. Isn't it "NOYFB"? Or how is it that our behavior IS your business but her behavior is not ours? Ooopsie!

 

[Brain Bucket]

She wore it once in M2 and that was enough. She never wore it again.

You really showed her. I'll state my case AGAIN. Do you feel your decision to ostracize her for ALL of medical school is a professional, acceptable, and measured response?

You said that the only important thing was that patients are comfortable being seen by the person. I pointed out that your statement is false because you wouldn't tell the burka-wearer to remove her burka. That proves that your original statement was just a front.

- 1. Statements CAN'T be 'fronts'. 2. lolwut? I still don't see your point here. Please elaborate. Actually, don't. Have we had 'discussions' before? This feels like deja-vu. There is just no getting through. Are you deliberately being obtuse? Otherwise I would really like to know your VR score.

I got to it because you were talking about "the contract that she signed with the University." There's a reason we dress "professionally" and regardless of what you say, yes, part of it does have to do with our peers. And the rest of it has to do with our patients, but you just proved with the above example that if the patient was uncomfortable you'd STILL ignore it out of some liberal leaning.

No, I have nothing to do with her or her patients. I'm a medical student. Why WOULD I do anything?

That's the only sentence you needed to write.

You mean that's the only sentence that got through to you.

But nobody cares about your distaste. Isn't it "NOYFB"? Or how is it that our behavior IS your business but her behavior is not ours? Ooopsie!

This is a forum. Its purpose is discussion. You made a point of something in your post, presumably to discuss it. I countered it. What you're wearing right now is still NOMFB. How are you not getting this? These are two entirely different matters/situations.

 

[Anastomoses]

Brain Bucket, We've had our difference and I do like you but your position on this issue is ignoring a lot of issues.
1. I feel that sort of clothing in a classroom environment is distracting. We can play games and say that a halter top and short mini skirt are her rights but I would feel she's degrading herself and her female classmates by dressing in a sexually provocative way. If she wants to go to a dance club, I'll be happy to go with her in the cheapest tawdry outfit - but my medical classes - no.
2. Ostracizing her is the only power we have against such inappropriate behavior - some people don't really comprehend boundaries/social propriety until they are made to understand through rebuke.
3. If you want to sell me the "everyone can do whatever" line, sorry...that's not the society I want to live in and what boundaries she pushes affects all of us to varying degrees.. I'm not a fan of stifling creativity but someone being sexually distracting doesn't fall under that banner for me. Sometimes social consensus sucks and sometimes it's wonderful. All depends on your perspective.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

You really showed her.

Yeah, I did. 🙂

 

[Brain Bucket]

Heh. You're pretty too.

Okay, let's go there.

She isn't wearing a halter top and a mini. She's wearing a push-up and a tight t-shirt. I honestly don't think that's degrading - why would it be? It's hardly provocative. If guys can't handle a t-shirt and a push-up, good luck to 'em. Explains a lot of threads. This still isn't the issue I have trouble with. I'll concede this point to you for the sake of argument.

I'll grant you that a little cold shoulder goes a long way.

My issue: Notice that she wore this tight T shirt one time and how it is mainly the girls that ostracize her, not merely until she changes her attire, but through the rest of Med school. To me, that smacks of insecurity, not distraction. It's petty, spiteful, and pathetic. There is no excuse if this was the extent of her transgression. That is not a society I will tolerate.

 

[ruralsurg4now]

What would be wrong if she wore a halter top and a mini? Or pasties and a thong?

 

[ruralsurg4now]

My issue: Notice that she wore this tight T shirt one time and how it is mainly the girls that ostracize her, not merely until she changes her attire, but through the rest of Med school. To me, that smacks of insecurity, not distraction. It's petty, spiteful, and pathetic. There is no excuse if this was the extent of her transgression. That is not a society I will tolerate.

Ah, NOW we're getting to the issue. The reason most guys didn't care was they were all staring at her boobs. So the reason you're OK with it is because you enjoy looking at her boobs and therefore are willing to ignore the fact that she's dressed inappropriately for medical school.

 

[Brain Bucket]

Ah, NOW we're getting to the issue. The reason most guys didn't care was they were all staring at her boobs. So the reason you're OK with it is because you enjoy looking at her boobs and therefore are willing to ignore the fact that she's dressed inappropriately for medical school.

Just FYI - This is the last post of yours I intend to read. You're squelched. We play football in shorts while my female classmates are comfortable sunning in bikinis. The same was the case all through college. We enjoy looking - or not - as we choose, and are not threatened. A tight T-shirt isn't going to do much for me. Enjoy your ... life.

 

[metopic]

ruralsurg4now is forever alone.... enough said.

 

[evilbooyaa]

I thought ruralsurg was a guy. I believe I may have been mistaken. Makes his/her posts make significantly more sense.

 

[mcloaf]

I thought ruralsurg was a guy. I believe I may have been mistaken. Makes his/her posts make significantly more sense.

There's really no way to make them intelligible. I just try to be zen and go with the flow.