Doubts about dental school. Please provide advice!

[tooth12fairy]

Hello, I was accepted this cycle and I’m not sure if it is just nerves about finally starting and making the official commitment, but I’m not sure if dentistry is right for me.

For context, I first considered dentistry in highschool when I met a dentist through a club and learned about the job itself. I like how it offers work/life balance (to a pretty good degree - obviously associate vs owner and a few other factors play into this), it is a job in which you get to work with your hands and people (not just sit at a desk all day), and its well respected (I don’t care too much about prestige, but I have always been a go-getter/ambitious and feel like that is a part of the reason I chose to pursue dentistry). I have pursued dentistry ever since and in college I really loved the pre-dental community and how nice everyone was, dentists I shadowed were positive about the job and happy to assist me on my path. I was very determined and did everything I could to make myself a strong applicant for dental school. Part of me worries now that although I gave the tiniest consideration to other professions, I really only focused on dentistry and never let myself think about other careers because I didn’t have “time to waste” when it came to doing everything I could for my dental app and I didn’t want to distract from that. I worry that maybe subconsiously I am only pursing dentistry because in highschool I decided I would and I set out on that path ever since. Because I always was focused on dentistry, people around me supported me and watched me work hard towards it and they expect me to become a dentist. I don’t feel like anyone is pressuring me to be a dentist, but I feel like this plays into the whole subconsious aspect of my concern.

I applied in the 2023 cycle and applied to 9 schools, was waitlisted at one school, but ultimately did not gain acceptance. I put myself through the application process again this cycle (which I take as a sign that I do want to go to dental school) and after making some effective changes to my app, I was accepted to 2 schools, remain waitlisted at 3, and was rejected by 9. I am very happy about how the cycle has gone and felt major relief when I was accepted on decision day. But again, a part of me worries that I was just happy to accomplish the goal I set for myself. I have seen some others talk about this same feeling and how finally reaching a goal may leave someone feeling a bit despondent after all their hard work. I don’t know how to tell if this is what I am experiencing

I have also never been someone who feels a intense emotions about certain things. Sometimes its hard to hear people talk about knowing form a certain moment that they want to do a career or feeling “meant” for something when I don’t feel that way. However, I truly believe I will never feel that way about any career. When I look for advice, often I see that shadowing is the best way to tell, but I have done hundreds of hours and while I do enjoy it and think I could be happy doing it, I don’t feel like it is the only thing I could do. As a hardworker, I feel like I could see myself being successful in any job. There are certain jobs I know I don’t want, but I feel like I could excel in any job I did want. The only problem is that I do see myself being successful and happy in dentistry. So is it worth it to give up on being a dentist for presumed happiness elsewhere? This makes me wonder if maybe I shouldn’t be taking on so much loans/debt (400K+) and instead just start a job where I would immediately start earning (although it may take me much longer to achieve close to the salary of a dentist). I know a bit of this fear is fueled by reading SDN posts about finances and financial descions as it relates to dentistry.

The main factor I feel fueling my doubt is the debt. I have seen many posts by dentists or students talking about wether or not the debt is worth it these days. Lots of dentists say they do not think it is and would not go through dental school again today if they had the chance. Most “advice” is to choose your cheaper in-state school, but I was not admitted to my in-state school and currently the school I am admitted to will come out to around 450-500K by the end (not even considering how interest will start to build up once I am done). Thinking about how long it will take to pay off the debt, if I will ever be able to pay it off, and extra costs that will inevitably come along (like one day wanting to start a family or buy a house) really stresses me out. I wonder if I should take the advice of many of these dentists and choose another profession where I won’t be burdened with so much debt. I was never considering dentistry just for the money, but having a career that will allow me to support a family and live a good life is important to me. The way I feel after reading many posts on this topic makes me feel like that won’t ever be achievable with the high cost of loans, interest rates, and eventually low insurance reimbursmant and rising popularity of corporate dentistry.

I love the idea of dental school. I don’t feel like I am quite ready to be in the “real” world yet and I think I would really enjoy it. I know its a lot of hard work and studying, but I can picture myself being very happy there. A tiny part of me fears that I am too attached to dental school and not dentistry itself.

Lately, in considering the potential of not being a dentist, I look at things such as the possibility to work remote, to travel, to have more flexible hours and I like the freedom. However, dentistry does provide certain freedoms as well, like income, possible ownership, and flexible hours (obviously this is not necessarily an immediate perk and depends on the job itself). I don’t have too many cons for dentistry aside from debt, which makes me think I like it, but I am just not sure. There are pros and cons to every job and maybe I am worrying to much about them.

I’ve been having a hard time finding people to talk to who really understand my concerns. My family supports me and tells me to follow my heart, but I just don’t know what I want. But then, I feel like maybe there is no true best option and whatever I choose will work out, but trying to accept that still just leaves me a bit lost still.

If you actually read this whole post (or any parts of it), please let me know any advice, similar emotions/concerns, how you dealt with similar scenarios. Thank you!

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[deleted923283]

People can feel depressed after their finish their PhD, after they get married, or when they get their job. Humans were bred to find enjoyment in seeking a goal - and sometimes when we actually get it, the dopamine withdraw hits hard.

You are comparing dentistry against all possible other careers. But that’s not a real life option. It’s dentistry or your plan B. You can’t compare dentistry to doing plans B and C and D and E. You have to let go of a lot of possible futures when you pick a career. Same when you pick a spouse. And those who commit infidelity are the ones who are always asking themselves “could I have done better?”. The unhappy dentists also tend to ask themselves this question. You will never know the answer to that question. So you make a commitment.

To run away from making a commitment makes you a child. Being an adult is hard. Knowing you will be paying off debt for 30+ years is hard. But it’s life. You will not live a luxurious life as a dentist with that debt, but you’ll have a job and stable income.

 

[Bigjt1420]

Good write up, I read the entire thing and I resonate a lot with you. I felt a lot of the same feelings as you did prior to going to school -- always "labeled" as the kid who was definitely going to become a dentist, didn't 100% know if I'd love it even though it seemed like I liked it at the time, people "expected" me to have at least a somewhat successful and respected job, etc.

What ultimately pushed me over the edge about being a dentist was the pure fact that a job is a job, and jobs suck no matter what you do. I know there are people on here and in the world that say "I LOVE my job! It's not like work at all!" Well I am not one of those people because I would much rather be sitting at home watching sports, or hanging with friends, or on a walk with the dog, or going traveling, or or or..... Basically what I'm saying is that a job for me was always going to be meh. Regardless of if I were a physician or engineer or dentist, I was always going to be like "it's cool but it's a job."

All that said, being a dentist IS a good job and I do enjoy it as much as I could have realistically. Like you say, working with the hands is great. Not having to worry about layoffs constantly like 90% of the US is one of the biggest stress reliefs. Yes the debt is a lot but once it's paid off the financial freedom is great. There are certainly a lot of benefits to being a dentist that one doesn't necessarily think of when starting out. Having a good job like this one, to me, is vital in today's world. Everything is so expensive and everyone is so cutthroat and these companies don't give a rip about people and will cut them loose at a moments notice. Having a job that requires extensive training inherently makes you more valuable and less replaceable, which gives you a ton of piece of mind during everyday life.

I'm not saying dentistry is perfect of course, but again I don't think any job is. To me the best "job" in the world would be to start a company, sell out to a big corporation, and live the rest of my life traveling and not a care in the world (think "Tom" the MySpace founder hahahaha). But that's not realistic and it's not going to happen. So being a dentist is certainly not a bad consolation prize.

I hope this helped and I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. It's certainly a tough thing to go through and it's certainly a weird limbo you're in now being done with college and not yet starting dental school. Talk to your family and friends and those closest to you and see what they say too. You don't HAVE to be a dentist to be successful as you say. People like yourself with the drive will almost assuredly be successful in life doing whatever it is you end up doing. Dentistry is just one option, but there are others out there. My last thing I'll say: To me dentistry gave me financial stability, a job where I'm not easily replaceable (therefore very safe from layoffs), the ability to work with my hands (therefore less chance of AI taking over my job anytime soon), and respect from my community (although it doesn't really matter, people DO look at you differently when they realize you're a dentist. They treat you better, they know you're not dumb and "with it." I even get a literal discount with my auto insurance because I have a doctorate degree).

Good luck with everything!

 

[tooth12fairy]

Good write up, I read the entire thing and I resonate a lot with you. I felt a lot of the same feelings as you did prior to going to school -- always "labeled" as the kid who was definitely going to become a dentist, didn't 100% know if I'd love it even though it seemed like I liked it at the time, people "expected" me to have at least a somewhat successful and respected job, etc.

What ultimately pushed me over the edge about being a dentist was the pure fact that a job is a job, and jobs suck no matter what you do. I know there are people on here and in the world that say "I LOVE my job! It's not like work at all!" Well I am not one of those people because I would much rather be sitting at home watching sports, or hanging with friends, or on a walk with the dog, or going traveling, or or or..... Basically what I'm saying is that a job for me was always going to be meh. Regardless of if I were a physician or engineer or dentist, I was always going to be like "it's cool but it's a job."

All that said, being a dentist IS a good job and I do enjoy it as much as I could have realistically. Like you say, working with the hands is great. Not having to worry about layoffs constantly like 90% of the US is one of the biggest stress reliefs. Yes the debt is a lot but once it's paid off the financial freedom is great. There are certainly a lot of benefits to being a dentist that one doesn't necessarily think of when starting out. Having a good job like this one, to me, is vital in today's world. Everything is so expensive and everyone is so cutthroat and these companies don't give a rip about people and will cut them loose at a moments notice. Having a job that requires extensive training inherently makes you more valuable and less replaceable, which gives you a ton of piece of mind during everyday life.

I'm not saying dentistry is perfect of course, but again I don't think any job is. To me the best "job" in the world would be to start a company, sell out to a big corporation, and live the rest of my life traveling and not a care in the world (think "Tom" the MySpace founder hahahaha). But that's not realistic and it's not going to happen. So being a dentist is certainly not a bad consolation prize.

I hope this helped and I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. It's certainly a tough thing to go through and it's certainly a weird limbo you're in now being done with college and not yet starting dental school. Talk to your family and friends and those closest to you and see what they say too. You don't HAVE to be a dentist to be successful as you say. People like yourself with the drive will almost assuredly be successful in life doing whatever it is you end up doing. Dentistry is just one option, but there are others out there. My last thing I'll say: To me dentistry gave me financial stability, a job where I'm not easily replaceable (therefore very safe from layoffs), the ability to work with my hands (therefore less chance of AI taking over my job anytime soon), and respect from my community (although it doesn't really matter, people DO look at you differently when they realize you're a dentist. They treat you better, they know you're not dumb and "with it." I even get a literal discount with my auto insurance because I have a doctorate degree).

Good luck with everything!

Thank you so much for the insight! I greatly appreciate it!

 

[doc toothache]

Ambivalence is not an admirable quality to have in any professional school that has a limited enrollment. One wonders if in the first go round the scent of ambivalence was too powerful to miss; in the second go round, persistence may have held in check all doubts. Maybe a sabbatical is in order.

 

[D1Bound]

Dentistry offers 0 work life balance with the debt that goes with it. Until that is put under control, it’s going to be full 5 day work weeks with a possible day on Saturday once a month.

 

[Greyangel6]

I became a dentist because that's what my immigrant parents wanted for me. I didn't have much ambition in my younger life since I was constantly thinking about making ends meet (super poor family, I was working 2 jobs in college + selling my plasma). I was just good at taking tests and getting good grades.

Fast forward to post-graduation, I had a big crisis during my PGY-1 year because my preceptors were very strict and harsh (military residency, etc., don't ask). I doubted if I wanted to do dentistry and even considered quitting. It's been about 5 years since then. I now like certain aspects of dentistry and just power through the aspects of dentistry that I don't like. I would say that once you find your peace, it gets easier.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

Checking in with OP: how are you doing now?