DPT and Long Distance Relationship

[mrleroyfashion123]

I was just wondering how you all deal with long distance relationships and DPT school! My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years and our relationship is strong. We want to get married after I'm fully done with school, but thinking about not seeing him for months is making me feel a little anxious. I go to a university that's under an hour away from home and I get to see him and my family one or two weekends per month.

In May I'll be starting a program that's a little under 2 hours away (I know...not much of a difference) but the course load will be heavier and so it won't be as easy to go visit him/him to visit me!

How do you all stay sane? Thanks for the advice!

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[DesertPT]

Honestly don't wait until after PT school is over to get married would be my suggestion. But different strokes for different folks I suppose.

 

[mrleroyfashion123]

I turned 21 in October and he doesn't turn 21 til May and he isn't even done with his undergrad yet! I could not see myself getting married this young while I'm this financially unstable. I won't have any debt from undergrad but I will definitely be taking out loans for graduate school...probably over $100,000. Waiting is best.

 

[DesertPT]

Well then as far as the long-distance relationship goes, I personally think it would suck but I definitely know people who have done it and are doing it...I think it really takes some very open and honest communication and two people who are willing to be very patient and unselfish.

And for the record, being married generally decreases your tax burden and could help offset the cost of PT school if you boyfriend (husband) is able to work. Just a thought. I totally understand why you want to wait, I just thought I'd point out that for me being "financially unstable" didn't cause problems with getting married...I wouldn't be any more financially stable if I was living by myself lol Actually it would be worse because I would have to borrow a lot more money if I didn't have a wife who was working...

Now if your boyfriend is going to grad school of some kind to, then that's a whole different financial kettle of fish, lol.

 

[mrleroyfashion123]

I know that it's going to suck but I'm just trying to find ways to make it a little easier! I don't like thinking about it, but I need to because that day will come sooner than expected!

Due to unforeseen financial problems, he won't be getting his bachelor's for a few years (he doesn't have his associate's yet either). He's in school and is working full time now (a little over $900/paycheck) so his paycheck certainly wouldn't be enough to support both of us while we're both trying to go to school! If all goes as planned he'll be getting a promotion in July where his salary will almost double! He'll still be trying to finish his degree though, and that's a job in and of itself. I definitely see what you mean though! When did you get married?

 

[DesertPT]

I know that it's going to suck but I'm just trying to find ways to make it a little easier! I don't like thinking about it, but I need to because that day will come sooner than expected!

Indeed...I guess you won't really know how it goes until you try it...

Due to unforeseen financial problems, he won't be getting his bachelor's for a few years (he doesn't have his associate's yet either).

Ah well that puts a damper on the whole pay for you to go to PT school thing doesn't it lol...

When did you get married?

As a junior. I am a couple of years older than the traditional undergrad but not too much.

 

[tweaze]

I know you are asking more about long distance relationships, and it seems like you and your boyfriend are still pretty young and not quite ready to jump into marriage.

However, in terms of increasing financial stability, my husband (and back in the day boyfriend) have always traded off in terms of school - more recently, he completed his post-bac while I worked full time, and now it has been his turn to work while I finished up prerequisites and am starting DPT school. The downside is that it takes longer. The upside has been that we have almost no debt, are much more financially stable than we used to be, and have been able to focus our attention almost entirely on school. For what it's worth when you get further along in your life plans

As far as making it work long distance - it sounds like you have already done a good job keeping your relationship strong with monthly visits. If you can keep up what you are already doing, and maybe share the burden of visits (so one person is not always making the two hour drive), it might make it a little bit easier. Good luck!! That is a really hard situation to be in.

 

[truthseeker]

with less income you might actually get more grants and have less debt after graduation. just sayin.

 

[DesertPT]

with less income you might actually get more grants and have less debt after graduation. just sayin.

I thought there were no federal grants (or really any grants that would be affected by your tax filing status) for professional students anymore.

 

[truthseeker]

maybe not, not sure there

 

[Watson27]

Having previously been in a (failed) LDR, and having siblings in successful ones, I believe the key is to have a very definite end plan. When will the long-distance part end? Who will be moving? You don't necessarily want to have "rules," but how often will you communicate and by what means? Everyday? Once a week? Texts, phone calls, skype? You need to have an open and honest conversation. Put it all on the table, without judging one another. Talk about your concerns and come up with a plan. I think the most common causes of failed LDRs are lack of communication, jealousy, guilt, and mistrust. After going through it once, I will never ever do it again. And I would never advise someone to do it. But every couple is different, and it works fine for some people.

 

[DesertPT]

^^^excellent advice

 

[mrleroyfashion123]

Thank you for your advice everyone! I definitely agree that plans, communication, and honesty will be the most important things if this relationship is going to work! Right now we have a vague plan, but "God laughs at those who make plans". Things will change down the line. The plan is for my to finish DPT school and his to finish his degree and for us to have a year at least of not being married so we can save up money for the wedding, living together, etc. What will actually happen, who knows!

 

[swolecat]

I left a school to attend another school that was cheaper and much closer to my gf of three years but we had a similar situation where she couldn't leave for a year- it didn't work out due to the distance (and obviously the fact that I'm super hot and every girl wants me so my gf was always paranoid). It kind of threw me but I'm really glad I wasn't married for that part- the problems would still be there and it would have been even messier. Id wait- you both will grow a lot this next year, and it might not be in the same ways

 

[DesertPT]

I left a school to attend another school that was cheaper and much closer to my gf of three years but we had a similar situation where she couldn't leave for a year- it didn't work out due to the distance (and obviously the fact that I'm super hot and every girl wants me so my gf was always paranoid). It kind of threw me but I'm really glad I wasn't married for that part- the problems would still be there and it would have been even messier. Id wait- you both will grow a lot this next year, and it might not be in the same ways

 

[mrleroyfashion123]

I left a school to attend another school that was cheaper and much closer to my gf of three years but we had a similar situation where she couldn't leave for a year- it didn't work out due to the distance (and obviously the fact that I'm super hot and every girl wants me so my gf was always paranoid). It kind of threw me but I'm really glad I wasn't married for that part- the problems would still be there and it would have been even messier. Id wait- you both will grow a lot this next year, and it might not be in the same ways

Or maybe your personality threw a wrench in that haha never refer to yourself as super hot....

 

[DesertPT]

@mrleroyfashion123 clearly has not seen the rest of @swolecat's posts...

 

[mv85dpthopeful]

I have to agree with the others on this. Confidence is good, calling yourself super hot is not a good move, haha

 

[DesertPT]

lol, the dude's name is Swole Cat for cryin' out loud...he's the kinda guy you'd maybe play a game of pool with, not the kind of guy you would marry

 

[bluesareblack]

I was just wondering how you all deal with long distance relationships and DPT school! My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years and our relationship is strong. We want to get married after I'm fully done with school, but thinking about not seeing him for months is making me feel a little anxious. I go to a university that's under an hour away from home and I get to see him and my family one or two weekends per month.

In May I'll be starting a program that's a little under 2 hours away (I know...not much of a difference) but the course load will be heavier and so it won't be as easy to go visit him/him to visit me!

How do you all stay sane? Thanks for the advice!

When I left high school for the military my future wife and I had been dating for 5 months. After bootcamp and tech school (about 6 months) I found out I was going to England for two years. You will have rough times like any normal couple would. If you and your BF are meant to be you'll make it through. It takes hard work from both sides....and sometimes harder work from ONE side when the other is feeling off. I asked her to marry me when I took some leave to go on vacation with her family in Mexico about half-way through my time in England. When I went back stateside I was stationed in Mississippi. The wedding went great. Still had some trouble when we finally got to live together, but aside from normal newly-wed issues things ended up fine. We've been married 5 years now.

Now, I know that not all relationships are the same, but you should know that it IS possible but you have to have a lot of patience. Hope it works out.

 

[Watson27]

Wouldn't it be so great if swolecat is catfishing us all?

 

[DesertPT]

Wouldn't it be so great if swolecat is catfishing us all?

I think he's after you in particular

 

[DjT3kN]

Wouldn't it be so great if swolecat is catfishing us all?

Possibly...he's covering his face on his Avatar. LOL!