I'm sorry you went through this and are so worried about what to do next. I had a similar experience and the struggles were real. It very much depends on what you would like to do. For clinical positions, people I know who were ABD had more success at UCCs or private practice working as a therapist or psychometrist. For research positions, depending on the grants, PIs may be able to hire ABD students under a different title (you may be called a research associate/assistant/coordinator) other than a postdoc fellow. You can cast a wide net while explaining your situation and see what is available for you or if some positions have flexibility with qualification requirements.
Whatever you choose to do, it would be very helpful if your advisor was willing to help explain your situation (it doesn't have to be specific) and express confidence in your dissertation completion (with a timeline) in their letter of recommendation when you apply for postdoc next year. My advisor offered to do it for me so I didn't need to write about it (I still wrote when my anticipated date of defense would be in my cover letter though). Their rationale was that I didn't have to start my cover letter in a "negative" way and it was better to have someone else involved in the process to vouch for me and my abilities. I interviewed at most of the top AMC postdoc programs I applied to and received an offer from my top choice. The couple directors at prestigious AMCs I know who had a similar experience also shared with me that no one had ever asked about the ABD situation in their careers. I hope this is helpful and you will decide to apply to postdoc positions you are most interested in without being held back by the current shame you feel. Good luck!
