Effective communication

[PinguinKinder]

---

Members do not see this ad.

I decided to make this in a positive thread seeing that I did not get any responses from my last one in which I was describing my frustration.

What I would like to learn are some strategies that have helped PhD students get what they want from their advisor.

With other words, how do I get my advisor to help me with getting research papers out? I've been working on one for more than 1 year and it's still not happening.

Also, her grant has priority so there is always stuff to do...and more stuff..and more stuff. I was assigned a project that I can't manage on my own -- I'm talking managing 8 undergrads on a task that involves training, coding, data entry etc. Another student barely has 1 task (i requested that one of my tasks be removed from the task list and that's how she got it, plus is really easy). Yet, this student is the one who gets to meet with my advisor and get work done.

I also have trouble saying no because I expect that if I say yes to doing stuff, then I'll get something out of it -- like more support with my research, but is not happening.

What is the best way to address/change some of the things above without any negative consequences on my relationship with my advisor and my working as a researcher in the future?

 

[Ollie123]

I'm in a somewhat similar position. I've been caught up in helping out on a number of projects, which has been great in some ways since I have very diverse interests and genuinely like all the projects I've worked on. However, its resulted in my thesis being put on the back burner and bogging things down, and I've also been a bit scattered and find myself doing a lot of things "okay" rather than a few things well.

I've found that competence is unfortunately, often punished in graduate school. We do not have much technical expertise in my lab, so early on a lot of that fell to me. I like it, I'm good at it, that's fine. However, we probably need a full-time technician to keep what I have dubbed the "Technology ICU" alive, rather than a grad student with a multitude of other responsibilities. I will be one of several authors on a fair number of mediocre to good papers, but will likely take at least 6 years before I go on internship and my own projects have definitely suffered as a result. Having a bunch of mid-level authorships isn't going to get me a faculty job.

If you haven't tried, give your advisor a firm deadline. "I am planning to submit this paper on March 1st". On Feb. 28th, get on their case about it. You probably shouldn't submit it without them signing off on it (in fact, you definitely shouldn't if their name is on it), but it may make things clear that it needs to go out and create a sense of urgency. I've struggled with the same issue...papers have been virtually finished, but have sat around for years at a time before we actually submit them somewhere.

I'd also start setting up regular meetings with your advisor to discuss your own work. For example, schedule a meeting and make it clear that the topic of the meeting is to be that paper. This may inspire them to read it. If they don't, this is another opportunity for you to reinforce the need to get it out the door.

I'll think on some of the other things I've learned over the years, but hopefully that is a start. You are far from alone - I definitely felt more like I was being shaped into "King of the research assistants" rather than graduate student for my first couple years.

 

[paramour]

I decided to make this in a positive thread seeing that I did not get any responses from my last one in which I was describing my frustration.

What I would like to learn are some strategies that have helped PhD students get what they want from their advisor.

With other words, how do I get my advisor to help me with getting research papers out? I've been working on one for more than 1 year and it's still not happening.

Also, her grant has priority so there is always stuff to do...and more stuff..and more stuff. I was assigned a project that I can't manage on my own -- I'm talking managing 8 undergrads on a task that involves training, coding, data entry etc. Another student barely has 1 task (i requested that one of my tasks be removed from the task list and that's how she got it, plus is really easy). Yet, this student is the one who gets to meet with my advisor and get work done.

I also have trouble saying no because I expect that if I say yes to doing stuff, then I'll get something out of it -- like more support with my research, but is not happening.

What is the best way to address/change some of the things above without any negative consequences on my relationship with my advisor and my working as a researcher in the future?

If I didn't know better, I'd think we have the same advisor. Hmmm....

I attempted to address my concerns with my advisor. Granted, I had already dug quite the hole for myself before doing so because I was oh, so super enthused about the research at the time. When I finally recognized what a toll it was taking on me (and that I was being taking advantage of and then some), I approached my advisor multiple times. She claimed to listen, only to give me additional people to supervise, but all the while expecting me to still put in the same number of hours I was already working (2-3x the number I should have been working at times). I didn't have time to put into my own research and other responsibilities, so then I was criticized for not making enough progress because I was spending all of my time on her grant. In the meantime, it was wreaking havoc with my personal life/health, and everything gets blamed on MY "personal problems/issues," which seems to be a common theme in my program. If anyone attempts to broach the subject that the department may have issues, they want to sweep them under the rug and lay all responsibility on the students. I take full responsibility for not placing boundaries with my advisor a helluva lot sooner, but in the meantime, I've screwed myself over & then some.

The experience I gained managing my advisor's grant/lab was wonderful, and I am extremely thankful for it. However, I also believe (and know) that it set me back both academically, clinically, and personally. In the end, I eventually transferred to another lab late in the game. I still maintain contact with my old advisor's lab as I am so heavily invested in the research and hope to earn some publications out of this whole mess (and now I can tell her no, and she listens because I'm no longer in her lab).

This may not be of much help--But let it serve as a warning. I'm not sure where you are at in your graduate studies, but you need to figure out how you're going to cope with it sooner rather than later or it can do some serious damage to your progress/credibility in your grad program (if you even bother finishing). It WILL make you miserable. You will NOT get the support you need, and your advisor will only continue to take whatever you allow them to from you until it is too late.

And, yes, I'm simply another embittered grad student . . .

G'luck!

 

[stigmata]

Your program isn't real life and sometimes the best you can do is not make waves and get through it without any damage to your career.

 

[erg923]

I'm sorry, but I think thats terrible advice!

These people are in ph.d programs and have career goals and research skills that this program is supposed to be helping to develop. Fighting to make sure your professional development and CV is being shaped is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. And on top of that, nobody can function optimally in high stakes academia if they dont stand up for themselves and learn to communicate (appropriately) to others (or supervisors) if they feel their labor is being misused. You are there to serve your advisor, yes, but they are also there to serve YOU and YOUR professional development. Thats really the purpose of a ph.d program- to educate YOU...not pad your advisors CV. You should not be shy about gently reminding your advisor of this.

 

[stigmata]

Really? well you have obviously never had the experience of being under the thumb of a crazy academic who the rest of the department is afraid to challenge so it gets taken out on the student. It happens all the time. So the better advice is to challenge this person and risk your career?? If there is a word below naive please tell me....
Life begins when you get out of school and have to make your way on the strength of your skills.

 

[erg923]

I have the opposite view. Fighting for whats right (as long as its done respectfully and appropriately) is part of being a mature and ethical professional. Nobody gets respect or becomes successful by being "a push over." At least not in academics that is...and that seems the be the path these people want to take. Further, these sound like busy advisors who are partly slacking on their advising responsibilities. I have seen no evidence that they are narcissistic academic slave drivers who will lash out in vengeance. Barring that, I think it is certainly advisable to sit down and hash out some compromise in a situation like this.

 

[PinguinKinder]

Great comments! Keep them coming.

After reading the first 2 responses, I thought you guys are one of my fellow graduate students lol

Now, on a practical level, I am trying to attend a conference. I got 2 posters accepted for 2 conferences. My advisor can support me to go to one. I need to pay for the other.

I am writing a letter of support -- one on my advisor's behalf, the other on my own. will it be a problem if I state in both how my attending the conference will benefit my university? the letter for the student is specifically asking to state how attending the conference will benefit the university. is it okay for the advisor to also state this? or will the 2 letters end up too redundant. any thoughts?

 

[Ollie123]

I guess it may depend how vindictive the advisor is, and your career goals.

I would consider leaving graduate school with zero publications to be a very serious risk to my career...possibly a fatal one. A poor record will likely eliminate one from contention for positions that are likely to set you on track to improve your record. At the very least, you are likely looking an extra several years in post-doc to make up for lost ground, the resultant lost income, etc..

It all depends on context. If the advisor is truly a lunatic and has authority over the entire department then perhaps it is best to not make waves. However, if one can cause waves that stay within the confines of a kiddie pool without causing a tsunami capable of changing the very face of the earth, I think its definitely worth considering. Switching to another lab can be a very effective option and can sometimes be done without it being a huge setback. I actually suspect that is probably true in the majority of cases, but there will always be those exceptions and...yikes.

 

[stigmata]

I have the benefit of having been there personally, seen it many times with students and interns, and watched those with dogmatic and basic beliefs about needing to stand up for themselves sent home blacklisted from ever achieving a doctorate. I am all for being your own person and making you own way, but don't pitch this battle with your teachers as you will lose and when you enter "real life" you can actually make a change by being individualistic. Academia is like communism, if you don't talk the party-line you will be punished. Be careful and be wary of advice from other students who have consumed the punch, but have no real-world experience.

 

[Ollie123]

To be fair...he is hearing from students who have stood up for themselves and seem to have had it go reasonably well (though I can only speak for myself). So clearly it is possible, and I don't think academia is quite the universal entity you seem to believe it is. Again, I'm not saying you are wrong, I'm just saying that its impossible to tell without knowing the exact situation. I can cite many instances where it worked out positively for the student as well, including for myself.

As someone with "real-world experience", how would you go about correcting a situation where you had zero academic credentials and wanted a research job?

 

[PsychResearch]

I keep telling myself that things will get better, but I think I need to do something about it b/c I heared they were students who left upset and nothing under their belt in terms of publications. Apparently, they were also running the grant.

I got an offer to assist the grant manager, but after hearing how one has no time to breath (and seeing the manager look physically worse and panicky over time0, I decided not to bring up the conversation. I think my advisor got it that I was not interested.

Two specific situations I want to give as examples:

1. My paper got put on hold b/c the advisor is busy with a talk she has to give. the talk is mid February. Previously she put deadline of feb 15 to get the paper out, but since the talk came up she said she may not be able to look at it this week. What can i do??

In the meantime, I get e-mails asking me to fix ppt or summarize research.

2. Later this week she requested that we meet about a project I'm supervising. The meeting got pushed a couple of times and I was asked to come in early in the morning. I accepted thinking it will benefit me, but I don't know if it will.

Regarding the meeting itself, I want to say that the project requires a full time person. Someone who actually does that and only that 20 hrs/week. I am supposed to supervise 8 people on 2 different tasks. when I break down the tasks, it looks like 6 not 2 tasks. How can I get this across without looking like I don't want to do the work. It's really hard to stay motivated when I see another student meet with her. She actually helps this student write her thesis. I did my own and i should feel proud, yet I'm pissed b/c that person is in and out the lab and I'm slaving (though I admit, i'm not the only one).

 

[O Gurl]

Without knowing all of the pertinent details of your case, I would encourage you to advocate for yourself. Set deadlines, ask for regular meetings regarding your work, even slow down on her projects in lieu of getting your paper out--but most importantly, seek support from your program. I know all of this depends on the level of support you can expect to receive from your program. I found myself in a tight situation with my dissertation/research advisor shortly before leaving for internship. I did not feel that my dissertation was receiving a lot of attention from her, but also that she was actively trying to prevent me from working on it in favor of other ongoing projects. This was complicated by her not-so-supportive stance regarding my time away for internship interviews (seriously) and a host of toxic relationships within the lab. My program has checks and balances in place. Each student has an advising committee (that often does not include the dissertation chair) and there is a governing body for all curriculum and training issues that mediates and resolves conflicts. Long story short, I put my foot down, found my program to be surprisingly supportive, and won protected time for my work. So I was able to defend before leaving for internship.

That being said, the relationship with my mentor was damaged. I did not go to her for a recommendation letter for postdocs. Instead I had to go to my thesis co-chair. We've been able to collaborate on publishing articles from my dissertation since I have been gone, but that is only b/c we both have something to gain, I'm doing all the work, and we only communicate via email.

At the end of the day, graduate school is a time to be somewhat selfish. As Erg pointed out, the benefits are supposed to be bidirectional. You owe your program your hard work and they owe you the attention and guidance necessary for your career development.

 

[O Gurl]

Regarding the meeting itself, I want to say that the project requires a full time person. Someone who actually does that and only that 20 hrs/week. I am supposed to supervise 8 people on 2 different tasks. when I break down the tasks, it looks like 6 not 2 tasks. How can I get this across without looking like I don't want to do the work. It's really hard to stay motivated when I see another student meet with her. She actually helps this student write her thesis. I did my own and i should feel proud, yet I'm pissed b/c that person is in and out the lab and I'm slaving (though I admit, i'm not the only one).

Truthfully, you cannot control how she takes it. You just have to be honest and clear. Of course it helps to sweeten the blow with the customary lead: "I really appreciate all of the opportunities you've provided for me in your lab, but I just wanted to talk about a few things..." I wouldn't advise continuing to suffer in silence for fear of how she will react. At the end of the day, it is your career hanging in the balance. Not hers.

 

[PsychResearch]

Truthfully, you cannot control how she takes it. You just have to be honest and clear. Of course it helps to sweeten the blow with the customary lead: "I really appreciate all of the opportunities you've provided for me in your lab, but I just wanted to talk about a few things..." I wouldn't advise continuing to suffer in silence for fear of how she will react. At the end of the day, it is your career hanging in the balance. Not hers.

.

 

[erg923]

I think the kind of person who would go out of their way to sabotage a students career or otherwise get offended to the point of being vengeful just because a grad student dares express some disappointment with their lab's current productivity level is very few and far between. Yes, we all know it could happen. But come on man...thats really just not likely so long as the student broaches the subject respectfully and appropriately. Most faculty are very normal (although highly motivated) people who are genuinely interested in their students success.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I think the kind of person who would go out of their way to sabotage a students career or otherwise get offended to the point of being vengeful just because a grad student dares express some disappointment with their lab's current productivity level is very few and far between. Yes, we all know it could happen. But come on man...thats really just not likely so long as the student broaches the subject respectfully and appropriately. Most faculty are very normal (although highly motivated) people who are genuinely interested in their students success.

It's not the norm to be sure, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised to hear that there are one or two professors per program who would be significantly upset at the idea of graduate students "mouthing off." My department is of an average size, and I can think of two individuals who'd potentially react that way.

That's not to say you still shouldn't stand up for yourself to ensure you receive the training you require. However, we also need to accept that these sorts of unfair situations do exist. Additionally, the idea that grad school does not equate to the rest of your life is a good one; many people have strained relationships with their supervisors, yet go on to lead very productive careers.

 

[stigmata]

It's not the norm to be sure, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised to hear that there are one or two professors per program who would be significantly upset at the idea of graduate students "mouthing off." My department is of an average size, and I can think of two individuals who'd potentially react that way.

That's not to say you still shouldn't stand up for yourself to ensure you receive the training you require. However, we also need to accept that these sorts of unfair situations do exist. Additionally, the idea that grad school does not equate to the rest of your life is a good one; many people have strained relationships with their supervisors, yet go on to lead very productive careers.

I totally agree

 

[O Gurl]

That's not to say you still shouldn't stand up for yourself to ensure you receive the training you require. However, we also need to accept that these sorts of unfair situations do exist. Additionally, the idea that grad school does not equate to the rest of your life is a good one; many people have strained relationships with their supervisors, yet go on to lead very productive careers.

True. But it sounds like the OP is describing something different than a "strained relationship." He or she is describing neglect (probably not malicious) on the part of their supervisor that is limiting his/her training. I just don't think there is any excuse for working hard in a lab throughout grad school and coming out with no product.

 

[PinguinKinder]

True. But it sounds like the OP is describing something different than a "strained relationship." He or she is describing neglect (probably not malicious) on the part of their supervisor that is limiting his/her training. I just don't think there is any excuse for working hard in a lab throughout grad school and coming out with no product.

I have a chapter. I'm second author on it, co-authored with my advisor. But chapters don't really count. Empirical articles do.

Usually I get feedback pretty fast, but now paper is on hold. I had a couple of busy days with lots going on. Starting tomorrow afternoon I'm determined to go again through one paper I'm working on and sort out last details I know I can do on my own and send it to her Monday the latest..no matter what she has going on.

I know that it is through my persistance and perseverence that I get what I want. She knows that too..but the neglect sometimes makes be shy and introverted and I get discouraged. But I will not give up.

What I don't get and would like someone to please explain is this. She meets with student X, makes sure X got paired up with Y student who is good in stats, gave student X a project she has no idea about, meets with X and writes the project for X. In the meantime, another student who is at the same level with X, doesn't even get ask what's going on with her project.

Focusing on me, it is the same thing. I passed the quals and was supposed to propose my dissertation by now. I went with 2 topics, she said okay to both, but no further guidance. I don't know which one to pick or if it matters at the end of the day. In the meantime X keeps getting support and X does not even care for research. I don't get what is going on. I need a plan of action. Tomorrow I'm going in to get some paperwork signed and will ask for a meeting. I need to show her my timeline and ask for help to make it happen and not feel alone.

I just don't know how to say it so I don't come across as i'm whining or like a victim (she implied this before).

 

[paramour]

I think the kind of person who would go out of their way to sabotage a students career or otherwise get offended to the point of being vengeful just because a grad student dares express some disappointment with their lab's current productivity level is very few and far between. Yes, we all know it could happen. But come on man...thats really just not likely so long as the student broaches the subject respectfully and appropriately. Most faculty are very normal (although highly motivated) people who are genuinely interested in their students success.

It's not the norm to be sure, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised to hear that there are one or two professors per program who would be significantly upset at the idea of graduate students "mouthing off." My department is of an average size, and I can think of two individuals who'd potentially react that way.

That's not to say you still shouldn't stand up for yourself to ensure you receive the training you require. However, we also need to accept that these sorts of unfair situations do exist. Additionally, the idea that grad school does not equate to the rest of your life is a good one; many people have strained relationships with their supervisors, yet go on to lead very productive careers.

Agreed. They may be few & far between, but as with most professions, they do indeed exist. In my situation, when I started considering whether or not I should transfer labs, multiple students strongly discouraged me from such a move because of the advisor's possible reaction to it (she does not respond well to students who left, whether it be the lab or the program entirely). She had already screwed me over to some extent, however, so I took the plunge. I still cannot fully disclose/discuss why I transferred labs because it would bite me in the arse even more than it already has with my program, so it was a semi-amicable transfer, unlike the last few folks who jumped ship...

 

[O Gurl]

Agreed. They may be few & far between, but as with most professions, they do indeed exist. In my situation, when I started considering whether or not I should transfer labs, multiple students strongly discouraged me from such a move because of the advisor's possible reaction to it (she does not respond well to students who left, whether it be the lab or the program entirely). She had already screwed me over to some extent, however, so I took the plunge. I still cannot fully disclose/discuss why I transferred labs because it would bite me in the arse even more than it already has with my program, so it was a semi-amicable transfer, unlike the last few folks who jumped ship...

None of us know what cues/precedents are in place in the OP's lab. In your case, it sounds like you were unfortunate enough to have one of those (few) PI's that truly is reactive and spiteful. It also sounds like you were aware of this and considered this before you made your action. I think everyone here is encouraging the OP to do before he/she acts.

At the end of the day, though, barring complete black-listing, sabotage, or booting from your program, any other consequense of advocating for oneself my be well worth it if it gets them out the situation. Just my 2 cents, I'd rather take the bumps from a pathological PI, make it to a new lab, and salvage my training (get pubs/presentations/mentorship) than avoid it and come out unprepared for the competitive internship/fellowship/job market.

 

[paramour]

None of us know what cues/precedents are in place in the OP's lab. In your case, it sounds like you were unfortunate enough to have one of those (few) PI's that truly is reactive and spiteful. It also sounds like you were aware of this and considered this before you made your action. I think everyone here is encouraging the OP to do before he/she acts.

At the end of the day, though, barring complete black-listing, sabotage, or booting from your program, any other consequense of advocating for oneself my be well worth it if it gets them out the situation. Just my 2 cents, I'd rather take the bumps from a pathological PI, make it to a new lab, and salvage my training (get pubs/presentations/mentorship) than avoid it and come out unprepared for the competitive internship/fellowship/job market.

Agreed completely. I merely shared my experience in recognition that we don't know the OP's exact situation and that the situation needs to be addressed "sooner rather than later" (as I advised in an earlier post) else it possibly end up in one of those worst case scenarios. Or, it may not be all that serious, and it may be simply be one of those blissfully strained relationships that many grad students have with their advisors. 😍

If the OP can successfully advocate for herself, then more power to her, but I unfortunately know of more than a few students who have been in situations similar to mine and had to navigate the transfer of labs, transition to another degree program, or been on their way out the door (with or without their master's). (Don't freak! I acknowledge that this is probably not common for most places. Must be something in the water around here. 🙄)

As mentioned earlier, figure out how you (OP) are going to cope with it (in a healthy manner!) and then stick with it!

Try the advice put forth by others (e.g., meetings, deadlines, etc.) if they work (for some they do; for some they don't). If you have any trusted peers in your lab/program, ask around for advice about your options. Sometimes there may be students who are willing to speak with you about how they managed working with your advisor. If there are no senior students around any longer who work with your advisor, then you may be able to find senior students in other labs who can connect you with students who are currently out on internship/elsewhere who are willing to speak with you. It *hopefully* should be obvious that you would need to be sensitive in the way that you word these conversations. Heck, you may not even have to go as far as asking about your advisor specifically if you are concerned about one or two primary issues, as there may be other advisors in the programs that their students have difficulties with as well. For example, I can name a few profs where deadlines are a common complaint. You may be able to ask your peers how they deal with their advisors making deadlines, keeping it so broad so as not to drag anyone specific into it. Get support from wherever you can at this point, peers included.

And, I'm going to stop rambling now, b/c I can't proof this as I don't have my glasses on and can't see the frakkin' monitor in front of me, so g'luck yet again.

 

[PinguinKinder]

Thanks everyone for your responses!

I do need an additional word of advice. I asked my advisor for a meeting to help me with my dissertation proposal. She changed the topic to some ex preseident from a different country coming to the university on x day and whether she'll be able to understand his accent.

I joked with her for a minute, but then I went back to asking her to meet with me re: my proposal. I will be submitting it to the IRB tomorrow without her feedback. I'm not exactly comfortable doing this since I know how she met and babysat the other student in all the phases of her thesis proposal. I will submit it, but for the actual presentation I need to meet with her. I'm not even 100% sure what I am doing. I need to run the conceptualization by her.
She said to e-mail her...which now I understand it was bs..to get rid of me she sent me to e-mail her and she had her calendar in front of her. I e-mailed her and got no response yet. I want to be patient and wait until Monday to remind her in person. I feel as if I am alone in all this grad school journey.

I was an RA in different labs as un undergrad. There, the grad students met with their professor weekly or bi-weekly. They all had a plan, goals, deadlines etc. Some of them are now professors and have their own research labs set up. I want to follow a similar path. At the minimum, I want to get into a research post doc ..this means applying in December (it will be my 5th year by then)..yet I have no papers published. I have one I'm working on, yet she won't be able to look at it until past mid February b/c she has a conference she needs to give a talk at. I know publishing takes time.

I don't know what to do. I don;t want to point fingers at anyone or blow things out of proportion. What I want is to get a post doc and get out of here. But for this I need support and I need to publish. I also need to get done my dissertation.

Also, I am in a research based program doing clinical work. It's not a Clinical Psych program, although esentially I do what clinical students do. With this said, there is no committee that supervises the program that I could go to. Other than the Psych Department director, but I hesitate going there.

 

[stigmata]

You need to get some advice from someone who may have some knowledge and perspective, not from a group of students with no experience who have "consumed the punch". This is not the place for good advice on this topic.

 

[O Gurl]

You need to get some advice from someone who may have some knowledge and perspective, not from a group of students with no experience who have "consumed the punch". This is not the place for good advice on this topic.

I agree that you should seek advice from someone in your program (TD, faculty member you trust, senior student, former student of this PI if possible) because anything we say to you has to be taken with a grain of salt. It is all dependent on your unique circumstances.

That said, I think that Stigmata's blanket rejection of anyone's advice that involves a student successfully and appropriately advocating for their training is immature and disrespectful to us as members. Do you think that my experience with my dissertation chair was a fantasy? It was very much real, just like Ollie's, Paramour's, AcronymAllergy's, and Erg's training experiences. We may not be full psychologists yet, but our insights count and I believe everyone here is sincerely trying to help the OP think through some options. Please chill out with the Papa Smurf antics.

 

[erg923]

The only punch I drink is Kool-Aid (cherry flavor). Stigmata seems very jaded about the traditional model of training. I can understand the frustration because I think there are major problems in the current paradigm academic research uses, and I grow more and more skeptical and jaded everyday that our research is really getting us any closer to "the truth." Nevertheless, I am still a big proponent of the traditional scientist-practitioner model for training students in this profession. The "think like a scientist" mindset is simply to important and I think traditional model programs (as opposed to training models within professional schools and the like) are still the best at that. And of course, one still gets quality practicum training at these programs. Its a win-win in my book.

 

[notfullyfathomd]

Maybe I am a little late to the party on this thread, now that the conversation has gone more specifically into training requirements in clinical programs. However, one of my friends who is also in a PhD program (albeit in astronomy) sent me this article:
http://www.nature.com/naturejobs/2011/110127/full/nj7331-570a.html

Unfortunately, I think think the article is aimed more at students just starting out in grad school, so it's not as helpful for PenguinKinder's situation. But it served as a good reminder to me that when I don't feel like I'm getting what I need from my adviser, it's best to confront the issue directly in a constructive way as soon as possible rather than wait.

 

[stigmata]

I am not jaded about the traditional model at all; I happen to think the model is exceptional. How it can play out when people with power who are manipulative is where I have the problem, and perspective on this is difficult for a student to have as it involves them, in an N of 1, and most only do it once (one PhD). My point from the start was there are people in academia, a minority but not rare, who may be well known and very smart but also have major personality flaws which rarely get addressed in a beaurocracy such as a university. To only give advice about standing up for yourself, directly addressing the problem etc.. is to not recognize that the OP may be dealing with someone dangerous to their career. This may not be the case, but I felt it prudent to give some other advice. I was originally trained as a researcher, am the training director at an internship site, teach at a university based primary care residency program and have seen this dynamic play out many times from a variety of perspectives. Sure, address your concerns, ask for clarity/help, seek counsel from other students who work with this person or have and everything else, but be wary of doing anything that may set this person against you.