Enjoy dealing with emotional situations

[medstudentmed]

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[smq123]

Moved to allopathic.

 

[McGillGrad]

Not a good move. It sounds like you crave the power that is associated with delivering bad news that will devastate people's whole lives.

You might want to talk to a psychiatrist about this issue.

 

[Cruzinman]

Congratulations. I'll be happy to give you some of mine.

 

[MossPoh]

Do you enjoy actually GIVING the news or simply the confiding in you and looking for support afterwards? If you enjoy giving the news, then I'd call that Schadenfreude. If you enjoy being there for them in the darkest and most terrifying of times, then I don't think it is so bad...albeit emotionally taxing.

 

[BigRedBeta]

I am still early in my clinical years and have not taken some of the more emotionally-taxing (I presume) rotations like Oncology, etc. that have a significant amt of death and informing families / etc.

But - from the limited experience I have had...I actually find it quite gratifying to bear witness to emotional situations -- ie informing patients of bad diagnoses / other situations which make pts cry/etc. ... is this crazy?

It's not that I enjoy it in some kind of sick way of watching someone else's misery, but rather, I find it emotionally touching and somehow a bit invigorating..making me feel more 'alive' in a sense.. I dont know how to describe it.

But on the other hand--I can also envision that this might be a transient phenomenon from the 'novelty' of not having experienced such situations before.. Or maybe I enjoy this now, but will get burned out if/when I deal with this on a more regular basis? Or maybe it's because as a med student, I am watching this process as opposed to being actively involved in informing someone of their cancer, etc.

Thoughts? Am I weird? Is this common? Do you think this is a sustainable interest or a transient phenomenon?

I think you need to be a little bit more clear in describing what exactly it is that you enjoy about these situations...because it's coming off a little creepy.


To be sure, there can be rewarding aspects in dealing with patients and their families during disastrous moments. Oncologists, high risk Obstetricians, neonatalogists, and intensivists for both children and adults (among other specialties) have a responsibility for providing emotional support for patients/families during extremely stressful situations. And if a death does occur, the physician can help the family begin their grieving process in a healthy and appropriate manner. This is by no means easy, and most people in these fields got into them for different reasons, but realize the potential to make a difference.

 

[smq123]

But - from the limited experience I have had...I actually find it quite gratifying to bear witness to emotional situations -- ie informing patients of bad diagnoses / other situations which make pts cry/etc. ... is this crazy?

It's not that I enjoy it in some kind of sick way of watching someone else's misery, but rather, I find it emotionally touching and somehow a bit invigorating..making me feel more 'alive' in a sense.. I dont know how to describe it.

But on the other hand--I can also envision that this might be a transient phenomenon from the 'novelty' of not having experienced such situations before.. Or maybe I enjoy this now, but will get burned out if/when I deal with this on a more regular basis? Or maybe it's because as a med student, I am watching this process as opposed to being actively involved in informing someone of their cancer, etc.

You probably like it because, for the first time in your life, you're seeing real human-life drama. It's the drama in medicine that makes it a common subject for TV shows - that's why shows like House, Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc. are so popular.

I have a feeling that you like these situations for the same reason that MS3s LOVE IT when traumas roll in. It's exciting, it's new, it's....dramatic. It's an adrenaline rush.

You'll probably change your mind after intern year. It's a lot more difficult and unpleasant when you are taking care of dying patients every week.

 

[Perrotfish]

Thoughts? Am I weird? Is this common? Do you think this is a sustainable interest or a transient phenomenon?

It's not common and it's definitely weird. However weird and uncommon are not bad things. It's extermely weird/uncommon to be able to walk along girders 50 stories off the ground without clinging to them for dear life, which is why the few people who can do it can make a fortune in high rise construction while their colleages who work on the ground make minimum wage. If you feel like you have a talent for being the bearer of bad new, feeling gratification where others feel depression, accept it as a gift and put it to good use.

What you need to assess, though, is the effect you're having on the patient. Are you a sensitive bearer of bad news? Are you helping them through the grieving process? Or are you showing up with a barely suppressed grin and pressured speech that causes the patient to lock into anger mode? As important as it is to do what you love, interjecting incompetence into someone's most vulnerable moment is still wrong.

I'd say go do a peds onc/hospice/whatever rotation and figure out if this is a transient or permanent thing, and if you're any good at it. Time will tell. Also make sure you're getting (and accepting) evaluations from others about your ability. If you really do get a rush from this it's going to be hard to objectively evaluate yourself, you're going to need another set of eyes.

 

[ama75]

It's not common and it's definitely weird. However weird and uncommon are not bad things. It's extermely weird/uncommon to be able to walk along girders 50 stories off the ground without clinging to them for dear life, which is why the few people who can do it can make a fortune in high rise construction while their colleages who work on the ground make minimum wage. If you feel like you have a talent for being the bearer of bad new, feeling gratification where others feel depression, accept it as a gift and put it to good use.

What you need to assess, though, is the effect you're having on the patient. Are you a sensitive bearer of bad news? Are you helping them through the grieving process? Or are you showing up with a barely suppressed grin and pressured speech that causes the patient to lock into anger mode? As important as it is to do what you love, interjecting incompetence into someone's most vulnerable moment is still wrong.

I'd say go do a peds onc/hospice/whatever rotation and figure out if this is a transient or permanent thing, and if you're any good at it. Time will tell. Also make sure you're getting (and accepting) evaluations from others about your ability. If you really do get a rush from this it's going to be hard to objectively evaluate yourself, you're going to need another set of eyes.

This is a totally interesting way of looking at the OP's issue. I'm impressed.

 

[peppy]

Palliative Care would probably be a good field for someone who feels comfortable dealing with very emotional situations. I think doing a rotation in Palliative Care or hospice would be very educational for just about any field of medicine, so I don't think you could go wrong rotating in it to see how you feel about it.
I do think it's important to see how you feel about actually being the person who gives the news rather than just observing someone else give it. The first time I was the one who actually told someone about their newly discovered lung cancer (with mets), it was definitely hard to find the right way to say it even though I had watched such conversations before.

 

[michigangirl]

if you were a resident or fellow, I would agree with perrotfish. But can't really say much until you've actually BEEN in the situation of GIVING the bad news. If you mean that you think it would be satisfying and gratifying to be the person that someone leans on during a crisis situation and looks to for advice and guidance, then it's not weird. As it's been stated, there are MANY fields that give you that opportunity-- like peds/adult intensive care, oncology, the list goes on. BUT the thing that makes those of us in these fields love our jobs is NOT that we can be there for people in their times of sadness-- it's that there is some hope of pulling people through. We don't DISLIKE the consoling parts of our jobs, its just that we do it well and that is all a patient can ask for in horrendous times. So it makes us feel good to know that even when we've "failed" when there's nothing else we can do, we can make the situation as positive as possible for those who are suffering.

Yes, the way your post came off was a little creepy. Don't go into something because you enjoy giving bad news. Go into it because you enjoy saving people and in the inevitable times that you can't you can soften the blow as much as possible.

I am still early in my clinical years and have not taken some of the more emotionally-taxing (I presume) rotations like Oncology, etc. that have a significant amt of death and informing families / etc.

But - from the limited experience I have had...I actually find it quite gratifying to bear witness to emotional situations -- ie informing patients of bad diagnoses / other situations which make pts cry/etc. ... is this crazy?

It's not that I enjoy it in some kind of sick way of watching someone else's misery, but rather, I find it emotionally touching and somehow a bit invigorating..making me feel more 'alive' in a sense.. I dont know how to describe it.

But on the other hand--I can also envision that this might be a transient phenomenon from the 'novelty' of not having experienced such situations before.. Or maybe I enjoy this now, but will get burned out if/when I deal with this on a more regular basis? Or maybe it's because as a med student, I am watching this process as opposed to being actively involved in informing someone of their cancer, etc.

Thoughts? Am I weird? Is this common? Do you think this is a sustainable interest or a transient phenomenon?

 

[medstudentmed]

You probably like it because, for the first time in your life, you're seeing real human-life drama. It's the drama in medicine that makes it a common subject for TV shows - that's why shows like House, Grey's Anatomy, ER, etc. are so popular.

I have a feeling that you like these situations for the same reason that MS3s LOVE IT when traumas roll in. It's exciting, it's new, it's....dramatic. It's an adrenaline rush.

You'll probably change your mind after intern year. It's a lot more difficult and unpleasant when you are taking care of dying patients every week.

I think this post hit the head on the nail...thanks - I think this is a much better way of saying it and more appropriate towards what I actually mean.

 

[Stixman28]

I think this post hit the head on the nail...thanks - I think this is a much better way of saying it and more appropriate towards what I actually mean.

Im a ms2 with some similar draws medstudentmed. and for these reasons I have been trying to develop interest in onc and psych. I think you should put your initial post back up, bc there are a few of us out there than can relate.

I have always been able to keep my cool in very serious emotional situations, have been told I am very supportive. And, personally, on the other side, dealing first hand with people who are confronted with serious life changing moments does make me feel more alive, as u stated in ure initial post.

I think though that for me, though, I dont just want to deliver ****ty news 24/7. Over in the zebra thread, a resident or fellow mentioned that it's hard on a doc to just be able to make a dx, like in neuro, where you finally uncover some horrific progressive degen disease, and you've gotta tell your patient there is nothing anyone can do. This, I feel, would get hard doing day in day out. And in pulm oncology, I think the situation is similar.

A lot of people find it odd when I express an interest in working with adult onc patients, and your obviously seeing the variety of responses you will get to saying things if your wording choice is less than optimal (e.g. gratifying, that is a little sick, yeah). It doesnt have to be morbid.

 

[da8s0859q]

.

Don't know why you deleted your post (which was already quoted). I understand what you're saying.

It's not weird, imo. It just sounds like you are one who places a certain value on those "emotional situations" and being involved in them, and hopefully being able to make some good come out of it at all.