I agree with KevBot's advice. If I could add a bit, I'd recommend that you use active verbs not passive verbs (eg, Working in a hospital motivated me to follow up with the nursing staff and Doctors about specific cases. Instead of I worked in hospitals and dealt directly with nurses and Doctors about patients)
Examples are key to coloring in your experience. They want to hear what you have under your belt. Also, the first paragraph should grab the readers attention. Have them in your corner and excited about your progress through the statement.
I would also add, likely against the advice of others: don't use the total amount of words allowed. The adcom reads tons of letters, they'd be happy to get a break and read a short, concise, to the point statement about why you deserve a seat.
The negative side of your grades should only be mentioned in passing, because it's behind you. If you dwell, it takes up valuable words you could be using to sell your strong points. You may even try to develop only one quality that you have, like hospital experiences, rather than providing a laundry list of a lot of things with little space for examples. Make sense? 😕
I'd be more than happy to help or provide you with my letter. I did get into DMU and chose to go there over others. I think a lot of their attitude toward me in my interview stemmed from my statement. Polish that tile again and again! Good luck. 😀
