Extremely confused, want to withdraw?

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HeyNapkin

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Long story short, I don't know if I want to be a doctor right now. I know that eventually, I want to be a MD, but right now I just don't know if I have the energy or willpower to do it. After I finished my undergraduate degree, I was so burnt out. I really wanted to take a couple years off to experience the real world before going back to school. But since I got accepted to medical school, my parents essentially forced me to go to medical school. They told me that whatever I wanted to do can wait, and that I should finish medical school first. Since I had no ways of sustaining myself financially, I agreed. I regretted it, but I was able to put on the facade of happiness with them and my peers.

Today was orientation of my MS-1 and I finally realized that I did not want to be here. Surprisingly, this person I met today in orientation told me about how Teach for America is looking for applicants all the time in under-served areas. This person even told me that the salary you get from the high school as well as the stipend from TFA is more than enough to sustain myself financially. Furthermore, I really love teaching. This person mentioned how TFA is always short science teachers, and I actually taught chemistry for 4 semesters during my undergraduate career. One of the biggest parts of why I wanted to be a physician was to teach people. This might be extremely premature and my brain might just be thinking of ways to rationalize getting out of medical school, but TFA looks extremely appealing.

The application for TFA opens August 1, 2014 and it is for people wanting to teach in Fall 2015. The website said the application is nonbinding so I will definitely apply. My biggest concern is that my school allows for up to a 1 year leave of absence for an enrichment program. TFA wants 2 years of commitment. How hard is it to just withdraw from medical school permanently if I get accepted to TFA, and then reapply as a re-applicant via AMCAS after 2-3 years of working with TFA. Will the medical schools see my withdrawal was being noncomitted to medicine? Or is "wanting real life experience and feeling burnt out" a valid enough reason.
 
Have you volunteered to see what teaching in a classroom is really like?
 
DermViser said:
Have you volunteered to see what teaching in a classroom is really like?
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I have and I really liked it. I really wanted to teach, but my parents were saying stuff like "you can teach with an MD" etc
 
If you really do hate learning medicine from Day 1 of MS-1, it will be a very rough and turbulent road. The deeper you go in, the harder it is to get out. Might help to know what you hate about medicine.
 
"I know that eventually, I want to be a MD"

Stay in school. The first couple days/weeks are a big drag, but once you get past that it's really not so bad. Hey, there are summer school things that recruit medical students to teach middle-school kids biology and so forth; you could do something like that after M1.

Obviously there's no definite answer to your question, but intuitively I think taking a leave of absence to do TFA would look very bad, and you'd have a very tough time re-applying.
 
It's hard enough getting accepted these days, I would stay in and just get very involved in what your school has to offer, mine allows us to apply for TA positions to teach incoming students. They also allow us to tutor and get payed for it. You have winter break, spring break, and next summer. Plan some fun trips and you'll get through this rough patch you're having. I too was burnt out before even starting but I made the most of it. When I went back to visit my old college and saw how man of my friends didn't get accepted and were struggling to get interviews I became very thankful for the position I was in.
 
I doubt this would fly, and may not be worth trying as it may set a bad first impression, but would it be possible to potentially talk to a dean or someone in your program and see if there is any possibility to make an exception to allow for a 2 year leave of absence? Maybe you could word it like, the TFA experience could help you become a better doctor as you'd have more teaching experience and experience working in undeserved communities and you feel this could potentially help re-inforce your medical education.
I personally don't see this working, but I thought I'd throw the idea out there.

Anyways, I know the burnt out feeling OP, I didn't feel ready to start MS1 but already had an acceptance.
In your case though, it seems like just going forward with it may be the best option since you're already there. The first couple weeks are hard, but it can get better. If after MS1 you still feel burnt out and are not happy, then you could potentially do a 1 year LOA or just leave all together and do TFA (then you'd only need to pay back MS1/undergrad debt).

All of this is out of my scope of knowledge though, it may be worth talking to someone you can trust at your program about your feelings. You're definitely not alone.
 
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Why can't you try for a 1 year LOA and then drop TFA early? Between this option and the one you laid out, you are going to have to go back on the commitment you made to someone. Would you really rather piss off the medical school versus pissing off TFA?

Yes, schools would see your dropping out as non-committed to medicine. You have had plenty of chances to back out before now. I don't know if it's impossible, but it would be very difficult to convince another med school to take a chance on you.
 
Please don't do TFA. My spouse is a teacher, in a low-income area. Those kids do NOT need a teacher who is just using their TFA experience as poverty tourism.* If you are "extremely confused" right now, why, for the love of God, WHY do you think you would be an effective teacher for a child whose life is already challenging? If you need to take a year off, do it, but don't do TFA.

Here's an idea: Why not just get a normal job for a year? Work for minimum wage; it's hard work for next to nothing compensation. Working a crappy job that you hate will give you some perspective and tell you if you're ready for med school or not.

(*There are also about a million other reasons why TFA is bad for kids, bad for schools, and bad for teachers. Don't do it.)
 
I don't know man, it seems like a pretty big red flag if you already want to take a leave of absence on day 1. As an ADCOM leader, the only thing I would wonder is why should I believe that you are ready now when you obviously felt the same way when you applied and started this time around.

I'm sure you would be able to explain your cause in an interview, but given the increasing difficulty of getting into medical school, I'd be worried you wouldn't even get enough interviews to have a shot to explain your situation.
 
I know a girl in my med school that requested time off the first semester of M1 due to mental health problems such as depression etc...

I would imagine that your school would let you do the same. I took a year off before medical school and even then burned out during the middle of M2 year. Medical school can be brutal and the ball keeps rolling especially when you start M2 year so make sure you're ready before S hits the fan.
 
I was in a (somewhat) similar situation in that I was burnt out from undergrad. I planned on taking one year off (which turned into a few) for the exact reasons you stated. I knew I was going to become a doctor but it just wasn't quite my time. I already had taken time off before college, though, so I already knew how it works and it was easier for me to trust in my decision than it seems for you.

I would urge you to do it if that is what you feel is the right thing for you! It was the best decision of my life. Even though a lot of people my age are in residency already and every once and a while I get a pang of the "wouldn't it be nice..." I know that what I have experienced was exactly what I needed and has contributed immensely to my personal and professional life.

A lot of people (parents, siblings, friends) will tell you it's a terrible idea, but you need to just listen to your intuition and what you want and need. It will look a lot worse if you fail your first year and have to repeat than if you just take the time at this point.

After returning to school I am performing well above average and a big part of that I'm sure is because I am refreshed and excited to be in school, as opposed to a lot of others who are so ready to get out. (I also have been it the real world where you have no holidays off, work for $10/hr, and so on and so forth and it gives you a renewed appreciation for getting to sit in shiny classrooms and learn cool things all day!)

Logistic-wise, I assume you could probably defer (I think that is pretty common, isn't it?), but it might be too late because you already started orientation and probably paid. If not, you can probably take a leave of absence, like others have stated. MANY students take LOAs, so it's not that big of a deal. I haven't taken one, but I assume you can take one really for whatever (emotional concerns-which you clearly are experiencing!). I just think there is a limit on for how long- probably a year. It's usually not MS1, but I think most schools are flexible. They have invested a lot in you just by admitting you, so in general I think they tend to try to keep you if possible! I would find out who your advisor is and ask for a meeting ASAP.

In regards to the plan, I don't know if I would recommend TFA. As someone stated above, from what I have heard the program is not all that great nowadays. The theory behind it is honorable, but it has become a system for employers to replace well-trained teachers with cheap substitutes that don't know how to teach and don't really care much. I've heard its a ton of work and emotionally straining. If you are burnt out that is probably not what you really need anyway. I would probably suggest like someone else has mentioned, getting a "minimum wage job" although I'm sure you could find something for at least $10/hr at an office, in a research lab, or if you really want something a little different, being a server is a GREAT job because it's flexible and people leave right and left, so you can always find something. You can end up making around $20/hr so it will definitely pay the bills. There are SOO many things you can do and you don't have all the stress of applying to school! You really should look at it as a positive thing!

PM me if you have any questions!

EDIT: To be more specific, it might be a good idea to try taking one year if they will give it to you and then reassess closer to the end. You might have already changed a lot and be ready to return at that point. If you are still not ready, you can make the decision at that time whether it is worth it to withdrawal (and have a high chance of not being able to become a doctor ever) or push through it at that point and then do something else after you finish. One year can change you quite a lot. Especially if you haven't even been out of school before.
 
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You should leave medical school and apply later. You won't do well in school if you feel as you feel now and you'll be miserable.
 
I'm thinking you should matriculate. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Worst case scenario you can take a leave of absence. Once you are in it's pretty hard to flunk out.

BearAttack said:
(*There are also about a million other reasons why TFA is bad for kids, bad for schools, and bad for teachers. Don't do it.)
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Off topic, but I'm honestly curious, how come? I don't know much about TFA except what their mission is supposedly about.
 
IonClaws said:
Off topic, but I'm honestly curious, how come? I don't know much about TFA except what their mission is supposedly about.
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I think it's because it's really hard to recruit good teachers, who care about the kids and the career, particularly to schools in these needy districts. TFA is only a 2 year commitment and people do it who really won't stay in teaching, and often just to put a feather in their cap for another career, so it's not good for the kids. Almost using them.

I don't necessarily agree with all that, I mean what are the alternatives? Put less qualified people in the classrooms who also don't care about the career or kids who just want a paycheck and summers off?
 
There are plenty of ways to teach as an M.D., which imho I'd prefer over a regular teacher.

Something else to keep in mind, if you have to reapply in 2/3 years your MCAT scores will likely no longer be valid, so you'd have to take the new MCAT.

It certainly seems you are taking far too drastic of an action considering what you can do with an M.D.
 
dodysseus said:
You won't do well in school if you feel as you feel now and you'll be miserable.
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I second this.

Talk to the school about getting a LOA. If the requirements for TFA are binding and too strict, you can always find something else to do. Go abroad as an english teacher? They are always looking for people.
 
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coffeesnob said:
I second this.
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I don't.

If you leave medical school for something else - TFA or teaching abroad or a typical millennial soul searching experience ("Mbuto, pass me another baby. I think this one has died.") - you need to be prepared to NEVER complete medical school.

Schools don't look kindly on reapplicants.

They look less kindly on reapplicants who previously matriculated into another medical school.

As mentioned above, OP would likely have to retake the MCAT.

And I really doubt that the OP would be able to retake the MCAT and do well, reapply, and interview while participating in TFA due to the demands of the schedule, so we're talking about more than 2 years off.

The bottom line is whether you want to be a doctor or not. You've been accepted to and have started medical school. Is this what you want to do with your life or not?
 
southernIM said:
I don't.

If you leave medical school for something else - TFA or teaching abroad or a typical millennial soul searching experience ("Mbuto, pass me another baby. I think this one has died.") - you need to be prepared to NEVER complete medical school.

Schools don't look kindly on reapplicants.

They look less kindly on reapplicants who previously matriculated into another medical school.

As mentioned above, OP would likely have to retake the MCAT.

And I really doubt that the OP would be able to retake the MCAT and do well, reapply, and interview while participating in TFA due to the demands of the schedule, so we're talking about more than 2 years off.

The bottom line is whether you want to be a doctor or not. You've been accepted to and have started medical school. Is this what you want to do with your life or not?
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I would agree. Leaving without taking some sort of LOA/deferral that holds your spot is a big risk.

BUT taking a year without withdrawing is probably the best thing you can do right now, unless OP can make a decision RIGHT now one way or the other. A year will give OP some time to relax and step back so OP can reassess his/her life, but without giving you the strain of school while you are burnt out.
 
You only get this opportunity once. I say go for it. You can't light a fire with ashes, if you get what I'm saying man. TFA is a great opportunity and you can possibly defer the acceptance for a year. It's your life and you only get to do this once OP. Medical schools will be here next year, your chance of TFA will not be an option for you once you start medical school.

My 2 cents.
 
FutureOncologist said:
You only get this opportunity once. I say go for it. You can't light a fire with ashes, if you get what I'm saying man. TFA is a great opportunity and you can possibly defer the acceptance for a year. It's your life and you only get to do this once OP. Medical schools will be here next year, your chance of TFA will not be an option for you once you start medical school.

My 2 cents.
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OP has started med school
 
southernIM said:
I just meant people keep talking about deferring acceptance.

That ship has sailed. OP has matriculated. It's either a LOA or a withdrawal.
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Assuming they stick to the rules (which they probably will), yes. Surprised that OP waiting till MS-1 orientation to address it.
 
HeyNapkin said:
The application for TFA opens August 1, 2014 and it is for people wanting to teach in Fall 2015. The website said the application is nonbinding so I will definitely apply. My biggest concern is that my school allows for up to a 1 year leave of absence for an enrichment program. TFA wants 2 years of commitment. How hard is it to just withdraw from medical school permanently if I get accepted to TFA, and then reapply as a re-applicant via AMCAS after 2-3 years of working with TFA. Will the medical schools see my withdrawal was being noncomitted to medicine? Or is "wanting real life experience and feeling burnt out" a valid enough reason.
Click to expand...

Why don't you take the LOA? Do something other than TFA during your year off. You can teach through another organization/program that doesn't require the 2 year commitment.

I know how you feel, OP. I don't think I would have been able to start med school right after college. I ended up taking 2 years off.
 
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TFA is crap. You sit in a bad school in a dysfunctional network with little support and do the best you can for kids that other teachers don't want to deal with. Just stick with medical school, you can't be tired after 1 day. It's a long and difficult road but it's rewarding. I have a patient's father who thanks us every single time we come in to do something. I was hating inpatient until this guy came along and made me feel like I was doing something good for someone.
 
starstarie said:
Not entirely, but mostly. Come on people you have to not do **** to flunk out
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I don't know what your definition of not doing **** is, but if you actually don't do **** you definitely will flunk out. We're so used to working hard that we underestimate it, but we shouldn't give OP the idea that it's gonna be hard to flunk. If you really are burned out and don't study, you will flunk.
 
starstarie said:
Not entirely, but mostly. Come on people you have to not do **** to flunk out
Click to expand...

This depends on the person. I agree that you'd have to be pretty foolish, not seek help, and not modify your strategy.

But you can certainly work plenty hard and fail.
 
tdram said:
I don't know what your definition of not doing **** is, but if you actually don't do **** you definitely will flunk out. We're so used to working hard that we underestimate it, but we shouldn't give OP the idea that it's gonna be hard to flunk. If you really are burned out and don't study, you will flunk.
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I think the point is that even if you are flunking out schools will allow you to take a leave and return the next year at least once. It's not that you can get away without doing work, just that even if you do terribly you have a second chance assuming you actually apply yourself.

As for OP, I think the first thing you should do is figure out if there are any refund policies that would impose a deadline on when you have to decide by. Second, go talk to your school's dean for student affairs. Tell them what you feel, and see what they say. I am sure have seen plenty of similar cases, and can tell you exactly what the school can offer in terms of time off. Be polite, and make it clear you want to pursue an MD. Third, figure out what exactly you want to accomplish in your time off. If you can only take 1 year off, can you find another program that you would want to pursue, whether it is teaching or something else? I guess the question is really, do you want to do TFA specifically, or just take time to explore the world before med school? If the former, then you may run into more issues, and it raises the question of if you really want an MD after all.
Finally, you have to talk to your parents regardless of what you do. They need to understand and accept what you are doing, otherwise there is going to be a lot of conflict that may well ruin any time off you do take, not to mention that they could leverage tuition payments to force your hand. It may not be a pleasant talk at first, but make it clear to them that you do not feel capable of completing med school right now. Other posters are correct, med school requires a ton of focus and investment, and entering it bruned out is a sure way to have a miserable experience.
 
Chir0nex said:
I think the point is that even if you are flunking out schools will allow you to take a leave and return the next year at least once. It's not that you can get away without doing work, just that even if you do terribly you have a second chance assuming you actually apply yourself.
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The real question is whether it's worth it. Bc an MD is just a credential. You have to have a residency to practice if you do the MD pathway.
 
DermViser said:
The real question is whether it's worth it. Bc an MD is just a credential. You have to have a residency to practice if you do the MD pathway.
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I completely agree. All I am saying is that despite being incredibly selective and high stress, schools tend to be pretty understanding and work with you to keep you in school even if you are a mess at first. That being said, you are completely correct, you can't go in there without being prepared to work like crazy for it,a nd usually that entails being pretty passionate about the career as a whole.
 
Why not stick it out a few weeks - see if the motivation returns?

If not, get a LOA for one year and do whatever - travel the world, work in a 3rd world nation, try to see how it is to live on lower class wages..

If you totally withdrawl - without a LOA - you may be shooting yourself in the foot. You may not be able to return to the school you were accepted in (you basically used a spot that could've been given to someone else) and resulted in the school losing money. In addition, other schools will know you were accepted, then withdrew in days, from another school - which will look extremely negative on your application.
 
long story short, dont quit.
If you like to teach means you have an inquisitive mind and for that medicine is a good field. With some luck (not much needed) you can always land a teaching spot after you get a MD, despite of what people might tell you.
 
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HeyNapkin said:
Long story short, I don't know if I want to be a doctor right now. I know that eventually, I want to be a MD, but right now I just don't know if I have the energy or willpower to do it. After I finished my undergraduate degree, I was so burnt out. I really wanted to take a couple years off to experience the real world before going back to school. But since I got accepted to medical school, my parents essentially forced me to go to medical school. They told me that whatever I wanted to do can wait, and that I should finish medical school first. Since I had no ways of sustaining myself financially, I agreed. I regretted it, but I was able to put on the facade of happiness with them and my peers.

Today was orientation of my MS-1 and I finally realized that I did not want to be here. Surprisingly, this person I met today in orientation told me about how Teach for America is looking for applicants all the time in under-served areas. This person even told me that the salary you get from the high school as well as the stipend from TFA is more than enough to sustain myself financially. Furthermore, I really love teaching. This person mentioned how TFA is always short science teachers, and I actually taught chemistry for 4 semesters during my undergraduate career. One of the biggest parts of why I wanted to be a physician was to teach people. This might be extremely premature and my brain might just be thinking of ways to rationalize getting out of medical school, but TFA looks extremely appealing.

The application for TFA opens August 1, 2014 and it is for people wanting to teach in Fall 2015. The website said the application is nonbinding so I will definitely apply. My biggest concern is that my school allows for up to a 1 year leave of absence for an enrichment program. TFA wants 2 years of commitment. How hard is it to just withdraw from medical school permanently if I get accepted to TFA, and then reapply as a re-applicant via AMCAS after 2-3 years of working with TFA. Will the medical schools see my withdrawal was being noncomitted to medicine? Or is "wanting real life experience and feeling burnt out" a valid enough reason.
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I was a teacher for a couple years before I went to medical school and did TFA teaching high school chemistry and biology.

I can tell you right now it won't be what you think it is. You're going in thinking you're gonna touch these kids lives, and they'll be eager to learn and all that cuddly stuff. It won't be like that; most of these kids who live in the areas that TFA serves have extreme sociological issues that you can't even begin to imagine. You'll spend a majority of your time on discipline and at times your going to feel like a babysitter. Most of these kids don't want to learn, and you'll end up feeling horrible for the kids who DO want to learn, as you'll see that they are the ones suffering from their counterparts behavior. I'm assuming you're young, so those kids are gonna eat you alive. These aren't eager young minds or anyone you're used to. I taught in an extremely ghetto area, and trust me, kids throwing chairs, talking back, making out in class, answering their cells is the norm. I had to spend the first 3 weeks of my chemistry course teaching kids how to do fractions so they could do conversions, and then I learned that some of them couldn't even add or subtract. I found out a few couldn't even read.

Med school was a cake walk compared to teaching, and even though the hours are fantastic as a teacher, I'd take residency over my teaching days any day of the week. If you feel burned out now, just wait until you start teaching.

Your parents are right, even if you don't want to do clinical medicine, you can always go back and teach. You can teach classes at community college (a couple of my buddies who didn't want to do clinical medicine followed that route). At least you'll be around kids who want to learn and are paying money to be there. Plus if they're disruptive, you can always give them the boot. If you want to be an MD eventually, I'd just get it done.
 
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