Failed Pediatrics Rotation

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So there were three components of my school's pediatric rotation, two weeks each, for a total of 6 weeks. The first component, I had 6 days where most of my classmates got 9 (They changed the schedule for us, for the last two days and I fell sick on the one day).

I did not do so hot on this first component, but, the remaining two, I showed improvement and even found a preceptor who agreed to pen a letter for me.

When the time came for the shelf, I failed it, I had passed all my other shelf exams (ob, IM and Surgery) with a few points from what is required, but, I had passed. My grades in these rotations were HP, till peds.

I retook the shelf and passed it (at the cutoff, but still passed it), however, with how my first component of peds went, with my low pass shelf and the first failure, I failed the rotation.

Seeing my dismal display of scores on shelf exams so far and overall clinical performance, my school has asked to meet in person with me.

My fourth year is gone and at this point I am not sure I will, even become a doctor. Has this happened to anyone? I feel like I am at the brink of breaking down in tears, thinking that I am a looser or don't deserve to be here?

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This happens to students every year at almost every school. I know of several classmates who failed one or more steps and/or one or more shelfs, and have successfully matched . Your school will undoubtedly want to discuss your options moving forward, but the least of these options will be dismissal, if that is your concern.

You should seek out counciling for both academic performance, and equally to discuss your personal concerns and estimation of inadequacy. Your school should provide these both.

You will be fine.
 
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So there were three components of my school's pediatric rotation, two weeks each, for a total of 6 weeks. The first component, I had 6 days where most of my classmates got 9 (They changed the schedule for us, for the last two days and I fell sick on the one day).

I did not do so hot on this first component, but, the remaining two, I showed improvement and even found a preceptor who agreed to pen a letter for me.

When the time came for the shelf, I failed it, I had passed all my other shelf exams (ob, IM and Surgery) with a few points from what is required, but, I had passed. My grades in these rotations were HP, till peds.

I retook the shelf and passed it (at the cutoff, but still passed it), however, with how my first component of peds went, with my low pass shelf and the first failure, I failed the rotation.

Seeing my dismal display of scores on shelf exams so far and overall clinical performance, my school has asked to meet in person with me.

My fourth year is gone and at this point I am not sure I will, even become a doctor. Has this happened to anyone? I feel like I am at the brink of breaking down in tears, thinking that I am a looser or don't deserve to be here?

Was in an exact situation as you.

Here is what I did: I remediated my peds rotation in the fall of M4 year. July - August you probably need to do electives in your chosen specialty and study for Step2CK. With a F in clinical - a high Step2CK is a MUST HAVE when you apply for residency.
 
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It's going to be fine... My sister was also in the same situation as you...
 
You are not remotely the only person to trip and fall over a rotation.

It sure does suck.

But it happens. And it is survivable. It happens often enough that your school will have some way for you to repeat or remediate or otherwise fix this and be able to keep moving forward.

Medicine does its selection on the front end. They make it so hard to get to where you are so that once you are in, when something like this happens, everyone knows that it isn't because of some irreparable fault in you. You belong here, in medical school. You are worth the trouble to help get past this, and this is not going to end your career, nor should it.

Be careful not to sound like you are making excuses. That you had less time, that you fell ill, etc. Just say that this was a rough rotation for you and that you didn't do well at first, but that you recovered (albeit not enough) and would like a chance to remediate. Even when your reasons are valid, we are trained to hear excuses as an attempt to deflect responsibility, and that is just about the biggest sin a physician can commit. Throughout your career, you are going to be asked to shoulder a lot of responsibility for outcomes that are absolutely not your *fault,* but that you will be expected to own all the same. Start that now. It doesn't matter why. That doesn't mitigate anything. What matters is that your performance wasn't what it needed to be, and that you are *grateful* to have the opportunity to amend that.

If you go at it with that attitude, I feel very certain that your school will be delighted to work with you to correct this minor hiccup and get you back on track.
 
You are not remotely the only person to trip and fall over a rotation.

It sure does suck.

But it happens. And it is survivable. It happens often enough that your school will have some way for you to repeat or remediate or otherwise fix this and be able to keep moving forward.

Medicine does its selection on the front end. They make it so hard to get to where you are so that once you are in, when something like this happens, everyone knows that it isn't because of some irreparable fault in you. You belong here, in medical school. You are worth the trouble to help get past this, and this is not going to end your career, nor should it.

Be careful not to sound like you are making excuses. That you had less time, that you fell ill, etc. Just say that this was a rough rotation for you and that you didn't do well at first, but that you recovered (albeit not enough) and would like a chance to remediate. Even when your reasons are valid, we are trained to hear excuses as an attempt to deflect responsibility, and that is just about the biggest sin a physician can commit. Throughout your career, you are going to be asked to shoulder a lot of responsibility for outcomes that are absolutely not your *fault,* but that you will be expected to own all the same. Start that now. It doesn't matter why. That doesn't mitigate anything. What matters is that your performance wasn't what it needed to be, and that you are *grateful* to have the opportunity to amend that.

If you go at it with that attitude, I feel very certain that your school will be delighted to work with you to correct this minor hiccup and get you back on track.
Agree. Take responsibility. No one is going to care that you got less time. The line of thinking will be,” So if some patient case requires X, is the student going to whine about time or just go get it done?”. Square your shoulders, look ‘em in the eye, use short declarative sentences and get it done.
 
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