blackarrowmoose

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I dont know how you all feel about this but im currently in a tight situation with my family.

A close family member of mine attends an ivy league school while i chose not to apply to ivy and attend a high tier non ivy school.

However due to this decision my mother won't stop ragging me about how i didn't apply to ivy and how im an idiot for not wanting to go to an ivy league school.

Have any of you experienced this?
 
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No and I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I have very understanding family members and there aren't any physicians in even my extended family! I think all parents should love you unconditionally not whether or not you apply to an Ivy. I wish I could give you some support so I am offering you a virtual hug! :) There are all types on here and I'm sure there is someone here who has been in a similar situation.
 
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blackarrowmoose

blackarrowmoose

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No and I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I have very understanding family members and there aren't any physicians in even my extended family! I think all parents should love you unconditionally not whether or not you apply to an Ivy. I wish I could give you some support so I am offering you a virtual hug! :) There are all types on here and I'm sure there is someone here who has been in a similar situation.
your really sweet. Trust me i don't really give a crap what my mother thinks, i know shes just going to accept it soon, i just have this small notion in the back of mind saying she is annoyed by this. After all she is paying for part of my education.

Im not sure if i should ignore it or confront it
 

paul411

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It's unfortunate that some people are needlessly competitive but she'll get over it when you both have the same 'MD' next to your name.

If you're talking about undergrad, going to Ivy's for pre-med is nothing more than financially burdensome unless you have some sufficient scholarships. Good state universities offer comparable pre-med undergraduate education.

In summary: you're good, don't worry about it.
 

Rollo

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Your own mother is calling you an idiot for not applying to Ivy school?

You definitely need to confront her about this. Let her know how you feel.

If you can't stand up to your own mother for calling you an idiot for a decision you made, how are you going to stand up to others when they ridicule you?
 
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blackarrowmoose

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well thing is im quite a headstrong person and i really could care less what my mother thinks cause i know what im doing. Only thing is no matter how determined i am i still have this thought in my head that something i did my mom is still somewhat annoyed by. What she doesnt understand is that my university is still a tier 1 school, i mean is there a big difference between tier 1 and ivy?
 

torshi

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Your parents are dumb, because obviously going to an ivy league you will be debt already before you attend med school, what are they thinking...
A top tier non-ivy is as good and maybe even affordable..

Obviously your parents aren't thinking about it money wise, idk that's the first thing my parents bring up. Not that we can'r afford it, it's always good to try to go to a good school, but we wanted to save money for med school.
 

ILikeDrugs

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Tell your mom to **** off. Just to spite her, you should attend community and then go to a state school.
 

Longshanks

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LOL yeah, i even told my mom i was considering DO once and she flipped. (Shes a NP)
Oh, God... so she's willing to criticize physicians when she has less than half the clinical training, took a bunch of fluff classes, and then still thinks she can diagnose, treat, and prescribe independently :rolleyes:

She probably hasn't even realized some of the physicians she works with are DO's, while being too busy lobbying for independent practice and providing lower quality primary care.
 
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well thing is im quite a headstrong person and i really could care less what my mother thinks cause i know what im doing. Only thing is no matter how determined i am i still have this thought in my head that something i did my mom is still somewhat annoyed by. What she doesnt understand is that my university is still a tier 1 school, i mean is there a big difference between tier 1 and ivy?
How do you guyz really class those skuls? Im dumb but i want to know what category my school fall under. What are the ivy and the tier 1?
 
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It's unfortunate that some people are needlessly competitive but she'll get over it when you both have the same 'MD' next to your name.
To me, this is not a case of her being competitive, she's being overbearing and ignorant. Sorry OP has to deal with this.

If you're talking about undergrad, going to Ivy's for pre-med is nothing more than financially burdensome unless you have some sufficient scholarships. Good state universities offer comparable pre-med undergraduate education.
This is an uninformed comment.

Going to college is much more than punching in, taking classes, punching out. That's why people who mostly just have good stats don't always succeed in opening the admission doors they want. It takes more, as we all know.

The good state schools offer what is needed for a good pre-med and college experience, I don't mean to criticize them. It just can be a bit harder to deal with the masses of people. But you should stop when you compare such an experience to that at a top-rated school, it's simply quite different. And the difference is far more than just size.
 

Rollo

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Oh, God... so she's willing to criticize physicians when she has less than half the clinical training, took a bunch of fluff classes, and then still thinks she can diagnose, treat, and prescribe independently :rolleyes:

She probably hasn't even realized some of the physicians she works with are DO's, while being too busy lobbying for independent practice and providing lower quality primary care.
Wow you were able to deduce all of that about her mom from the OP mentioning about her being an NP and biased towards DOs?

OP, educate your mom on how medical schools work.
 

juliedi

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I'm sorry OP, that really sucks. I had a similar situation in my family. My aunt is an alumna (and very big donor) of a well-respected university. When my older sister was applying to undergrad schools, she was accepted to both this university and another similar school. My sister decided to decline her acceptance at my aunt's school, and my aunt was so incredibly pissed off she refused to speak to anyone in my family for years. Years! She basically disowned my entire branch of the family because of this.
 

paul411

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This is an uninformed comment.

Going to college is much more than punching in, taking classes, punching out. That's why people who mostly just have good stats don't always succeed in opening the admission doors they want. It takes more, as we all know.

The good state schools offer what is needed for a good pre-med and college experience, I don't mean to criticize them. It just can be a bit harder to deal with the masses of people. But you should stop when you compare such an experience to that at a top-rated school, it's simply quite different. And the difference is far more than just size.
What am I missing out by choosing to go to a large public university instead of an Ivy League for undergrad? I have several pre-med friends at Ivy Leagues who claim to be needlessly overworked.
 

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Honestly, if you go to an Ivy League school, it still won't be good enough. If you went to Cornell, then "that's barely even an Ivy." If you went to Penn, then "It sounds like you went to a state school." Hell, it's amazing the number of Penn grads in this city who have serious inferiority complexes about not getting into HYP.

...my favorite was when I went with friends to a Penn football game, and saw the Brown football helmets.


...because the ivy leaves are really necessary. If not for those I would have thought your parents spent 40k a year to send you to the UPS training academy.

Life was so much easier in Big 10/SEC country where we just choose our school based on football record.
 

mountainhare

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What am I missing out by choosing to go to a large public university instead of an Ivy League for undergrad? I have several pre-med friends at Ivy Leagues who claim to be needlessly overworked.
Anecdotes cut both ways. I have friends who decided to go to large public universities who regretted the decision to do so; they said they just didn't feel like they fit in with the kind of intellectual community they found in those places. There are intangible things about the college experience that can't be measured in terms of money: hanging out in the dining hall with Nobel laureates and future Nobel laureates, etc., etc. To imply that anyone who chose an "Ivy" over a less expensive school made a bad choice seems a bit reductionistic. For you to say that "Ivy's" are "nothing more than financially burdensome" rubs some of us the wrong way, just as it would rub you the wrong way if I made a blanket statement condemning your school choice. Different strokes for different folks.
 

Adaggiote

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I have absolutely experienced this. There is a girl (premed) who goes to the same church with me. I feel that I may have the upper hand because of my intelligence and work ethic, but I just feel the tension build when we both discuss school together......

I keep away.
 

RogueUnicorn

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It's unfortunate that some people are needlessly competitive but she'll get over it when you both have the same 'MD' next to your name.

If you're talking about undergrad, going to Ivy's for pre-med is nothing more than financially burdensome unless you have some sufficient scholarships. Good state universities offer comparable pre-med undergraduate education.

In summary: you're good, don't worry about it.
this is patently false
 
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You know what OP? I hope you work your butt off and kick the academic crap out of this other "ivy" family member. Then see what your mom says.

But seriously, ignore her. My parents are like this too. They flipped **** when I had a year long period where I wasn't sure if I wanted to go into medicine. They actually told me that if I wasn't going to be a doctor then I had to be a lawyer or a PhD. HAD TO.

Some parents are just bad parents.
 
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My sister is on her way towards a PhD in pharmacology, a couple more years left. One-upping her with an M.D. would be pretty bad ass.

Either way it will be the first generation of doctors in our family tree, so Dr. _Last Name_ has that extra nice ring to it.

I guess in my case I am just trying to catch up rather than compete, she is 3 years older so she got a head start. :(
 
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blackarrowmoose

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my mom's calmed down a bit about it but she still "alludes" to it sometimes and it annoys me; anyway my plan is to dominate and goto a high end med school :)
 

WorldChanger36

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my mom's calmed down a bit about it but she still "alludes" to it sometimes and it annoys me; anyway my plan is to dominate and goto a high end med school :)

This sounds like a good plan. Besides it is a good idea to step up slowly. A smaller Undergrad is way better then a Ivy school, you can form better relationships and often classes are offered at much more friendly times. Ivy has it benefit but those are better for grad school and med school any ways. So keep everything golden then apply to a few Ivy med schools. If you don't get into any just find an old building with bricks and ivy growing down the sides and tell her it is Ivy league.
 

bookfreak89

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This sounds like a good plan. Besides it is a good idea to step up slowly. A smaller Undergrad is way better then a Ivy school, you can form better relationships and often classes are offered at much more friendly times. Ivy has it benefit but those are better for grad school and med school any ways. So keep everything golden then apply to a few Ivy med schools. If you don't get into any just find an old building with bricks and ivy growing down the sides and tell her it is Ivy league.
From my experience, this is not true, but it may depend on which school you attend.
 

WorldChanger36

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From my experience, this is not true, but it may depend on which school you attend.
Did you have a bad undergrad experience or a bad grad school experience?
At my undergrad the only benefit is small class sizes and a good chance to know the people that teach you. In the end this grants a person some wonderfully written LORs and some good research experience.
 

bookfreak89

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Did you have a bad undergrad experience or a bad grad school experience?
At my undergrad the only benefit is small class sizes and a good chance to know the people that teach you. In the end this grants a person some wonderfully written LORs and some good research experience.
My point was that the those benefits you mentioned are not limited to grad/med school at Ivies, but is available during undergrad. Those are some of the reasons people choose to attend those institutions in the first place.
 

surftheiop

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It's unfortunate that some people are needlessly competitive but she'll get over it when you both have the same 'MD' next to your name.

If you're talking about undergrad, going to Ivy's for pre-med is nothing more than financially burdensome unless you have some sufficient scholarships. Good state universities offer comparable pre-med undergraduate education.

In summary: you're good, don't worry about it.
But thats the nice thing about the Ivy's, they have buckets of money sitting around to give people. This year I'm paying like 2k Tuition a semester because of need based financial aid (and my parents make like 130K combined so I'm certainly not poor).
 

mmmcdowe

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I feel you OP. In my family's case, I am the eldest by 7 years. So basically my high school brothers feel continuously pressured by my mother to live up to their brother's accomplishments. Unfortunately for them, it isn't enough that they may match me in the future, the fact that I've done X now means they are expected to do the equivalent but 7 years earlier...
 

paul411

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For you to say that "Ivy's" are "nothing more than financially burdensome" rubs some of us the wrong way, just as it would rub you the wrong way if I made a blanket statement condemning your school choice. Different strokes for different folks.
I apologize for that statement. My bad in stating that an Ivy League education is "nothing more" than a financial burden, a gross over-generalization at best.

Gist of what I intended to say: large state schools offer roughly the same college education as Ivy Leagues for most pre-meds. UT Austin doesn't have the Nobel laureates population that Harvard does but for the average pre-med undergraduate, I think it's not that big of a deal. So dishing out a lot of extra cash money to go to an Ivy League is not totally worth it for the average pre-med (IMO).

Obviously, there are going to be cases where people fit in better at an Ivy League than at a large state school and can afford to go Ivy. More power to them! I sure wouldn't turn down an Ivy League education if it was financially feasible/reasonable for me.