Farewell SDN Friends

[Amy B]

Well,
After many hours of soul searching and family talks, I have deceided to end my intentions of going to medical school. I think this week made my mind up. I got my first acceptance letter on Monday and for some reason that triggered my fear of losing more precious time with my kids. I actually turned the school down.

I have already lost so much these past 4 years as I did my undergraduate degree. My daughter was 3 when I started, My son just started middle school. Now fast forward 4 years, my daughter is 7 and almost done with 1st grade and my son is almost done with his first year of high school.

Time goes by so quickly and the moments with my kids mean more to me than anything in this world. I really don't know how med students with kids manage to spend time with their family and study, and be at the hospital. My daughter cried last week and said just how much she is missing me when I study.

I have thought about getting my masters so I could go to work as a microbiologist. It appears now I won't have to get more education. I have an opportunity to be hired as a microbiologist in a state lab. I will be working in the bioterrorist/ food poisioning division. This career path thrills me. I am fascinated with
this line of work.

I did want to thank all on SDN who have been there to answer my questions, concerns or worries. This is a great message board and I have enjoyed spending the last 2 years talking with you all. I hope you all get to follow your dreams. Life is precious. Treasure every moment of your life.
Best wishes to all and to all a goodnight

Farewell and God bless

Amy Beth

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[duffbaba]

This is a very difficult and courageous decision. I applaud you for sticking to what is important to you.

 

[Papa Smurf]

Wow, talk about leaving on top. That's amazing that you put so much into this and now are willing to walk away. You sure you don't want to consider deferring for a year and figuring out if that's what you really want? I'm not questioning your judgment or anything, and I applaud you for putting family first, but you put a lot of time and effort into this. You just want to give it up? Well, I applaud you in whatever path you choose! I wish I could ride off into the sunset like that one day.........

 

[jargon124]

Amy Beth,

Congratulations on your decision! It seems you have done what is best for YOU. It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing so be proud of yourself (I'm sure I don't need to tell you that). I wish you all the best!

 

[UCLA2000]

•••quote:•••Originally posted by Papa Smurf:
•Wow, talk about leaving on top. That's amazing that you put so much into this and now are willing to walk away. You sure you don't want to consider deferring for a year and figuring out if that's what you really want? I'm not questioning your judgment or anything, and I applaud you for putting family first, but you put a lot of time and effort into this. You just want to give it up? Well, I applaud you in whatever path you choose! I wish I could ride off in the sunset like that one day.........•••••I'm with Papa 100% on this....

 

[I got in]

Hey Amy
Thanks for all your help.
I totally respect your decision for spending more time with your kids. I wish you good luck on all your aspirations.
Please consider PAPA SMURF's advice.
Again,good luck.
We will miss you.

 

[trout]

Amy Beth, you have been through a lot, given up a lot and worked hard to get to this point. As much as I realize how difficult it must have been to even begin to think about turning what should have been an extremely happy occassion in you and your family's lives. There are other options, many schools will let you go part time or maybe you should defer the year. Working in a lab can be not all it appears initially. You really have to ask yourself, you have already sacrificed much...do you want to let it all go? And most importantly will you ever look back and regret this decision? However, I do applaud you on your decision, I know I couldn't have done it!

 

[altaskier]

Doesn't seem to me at all that you lost...seems like you found what was important to you all along. If that is what matter, (excuse my language) fu(k med school. Do what your heart tells you. I think in all this applying and stuff, we really sometimes lose sight of what is important. I too commend you. You were good enough to get in. But more importantly, you realized what really is important to you in life. Have no regrets. Seems to me like you've made the right choice. May God be with you every step of the way!

:wink:

 

[katiep]

Amy Beth,

I'm not going to be so quick in congratulating you on your decision:

I also will have two kids by the time I start in August. The minute I opened the envelope Monday last week, several hours of elation were quickly followed by panic about the exact same thing: do I really want to spend so much time away from my kids. I thought long and hard about it, in a way that can only be thought about if you've actually gotten in.

My conclusion is: most people I speak to say that not everyone in med school studies every waking moment, and is president of an on-campus medical association, and is conducting research, and is volunteering in a community outreach program, and ...

Of course, the first six month will be crazy because you think everyone else is doing better than you, but after a while it settles down, and you may be surprised to find that you have more time than you imagine. I urge you to speak to medical students, especially married one with kids. They all concur with me. In fact, I did a careful estimate of their time allocation with my former profession (sales/software/banking), and it seems that med school will in fact give me the flexibility of allocating hours with my kids when it matters (i.e., when they're awake and not in school), and studying the rest of the time. I wouldn't've been able to do that before, working Mon-Fri 7am to 8pm including commuting, plus travelling, plus those weekend hours people so often have to put in, etc.

Residency is another matter. Perhaps surgery is not for you. I, myself, had dreams of neurosurgery. But I think that will not be possible if I want to have any time with my kids, let alone remain married. So I will aim for radiology, or something like it which I've heard is more nine-to-five-ish.

If you received your first acceptance on Monday, then that's only three days ago. It sounds like that's waaaay to short a time to make a life-long decision like this. Too much work went into this. The thing is, you really don't need to decide so quickly. You can hold your acceptance until orientation. Don't feel bad about holding someone else's spot; it's your prerogative, you earned the spot, and you need the time to decide. And if you do get near that time and haven't really decided, I'll second Papa Smurf's advice to try to postpone a year. Really, at least take a few months to let the decision settle before you send in that withdrawal letter. If you change your mind, you may never get the chance again (especially since I hear that adcoms don't appreciate people turning down acceptances and reapplying again). Regret would be second only to sorrow.

I made my decision to stick with it because I believe I have to live my life accomplishing the goals I have set for myself. I will be happier and fulfilled as a result, and hopefully this will carry through to my kids. I will, however, sacrifice something, because I've decided that time with my kids will be important, and so I will not be able to put in the time to get top grades, so that I won't be the best in my class, so that I won't get the best residency of choice. But at least I'll be a physician, and will spent time with them. Especially when they're older, or all grown up living their own lives.

Sorry for ranting so incoherently, but I'm sensing a rash decision, and I would like you to at least consider it for a while longer before abandoning a dream that been so long in the making.

Best of luck in your decision.

katiep

PS. I hope that 'Farewell and God Bless' doesn't mean you've logged off permanently before reading these responses!!

 

[Spidey]

I agree with pappa on this. Defer until next year and think it over. This is a big decision, and it is something you could wind up regretting the rest of your life. You know you don't want to end up in 15 years saying to your daughter 'I gave up going to med school for you and this is how you repay me!'

Whatever your choice I wish you all the best,

--Dave

 

[Cambrian]

Amy Beth,

I respect your decision but I encourage you to think it over. You have gone so far to get an acceptance. Are you willing to dump all of that hard work down the drain? You sacrificed your time with your kids to prepare and apply for medical school. Don't let that sacrifice vanish in vain. You have gone this far, don't look back. I realize that family is important and God knows children in America nowadays need their parents the most; but I believe that the medical school you were accepted to would be willing to help you out in terms of your family. I think everyone, including the medical school faculty, appreciates the medical moms out there and their contribution to this profession. So please, I encourage you to think about this more. Unless it is already too late to rescind that withdrawal. But no matter what you decide to do, we will always love you

 

[SMW]

Amy Beth, I have you to thank for the determination not to let AMCAS screw me over that has allowed me to be as successful in this process as I have been. I'm doing this in part because my Mom did what you are now consdering doing, and didn't go to med school because of her kids. In some ways I applaud her decision, and yours, but in others I wonder what she (and you) might have accomplished. We, and the medical profession, will miss you. Take care. Your kids are lucky to have you as their Mom.

 

[otter]

I'm somewhat tempted to agree with others who have said to defer just in case. BUT I do think that deferring may just give you another year of lingering dilemma and second-guessing. Obviously, you've thought through this very carefully. And you're probably right that you'll miss out on a lot of stuff if you go through med school and residency.

If you only live once, then you've got to do what you prioritize more highly. And I don't think it's wrong at all to prioritize spending more time raising kids and being there for/with your family than achieving your professional dream. But not everyone in your situation can act on that, because they're afraid of tossing away the MCAT, orgo and all the other work that they'd put in. So I think you're very courageous.

 

[intraining]

Two of my classmates have 2 kids each and they are doing fine. Who says you can't have kids and go to med school at the same time?? They do their work and have time to do their things with their kids. Besides, don't you know that you don;t really have to go to class everyday to do fine in med school?


•••quote:•••Originally posted by Amy Beth:
•Well,
After many hours of soul searching and family talks, I have deceided to end my intentions of going to medical school. I think this week made my mind up. I got my first acceptance letter on Monday and for some reason that triggered my fear of losing more precious time with my kids. I actually turned the school down.

I have already lost so much these past 4 years as I did my undergraduate degree. My daughter was 3 when I started, My son just started middle school. Now fast forward 4 years, my daughter is 7 and almost done with 1st grade and my son is almost done with his first year of high school.

Time goes by so quickly and the moments with my kids mean more to me than anything in this world. I really don't know how med students with kids manage to spend time with their family and study, and be at the hospital. My daughter cried last week and said just how much she is missing me when I study.

I have thought about getting my masters so I could go to work as a microbiologist. It appears now I won't have to get more education. I have an opportunity to be hired as a microbiologist in a state lab. I will be working in the bioterrorist/ food poisioning division. This career path thrills me. I am fascinated with
this line of work.

I did want to thank all on SDN who have been there to answer my questions, concerns or worries. This is a great message board and I have enjoyed spending the last 2 years talking with you all. I hope you all get to follow your dreams. Life is precious. Treasure every moment of your life.
Best wishes to all and to all a goodnight

Farewell and God bless

Amy Beth•••••

 

[BlackPuma]

wow I can't believe after all that hard work that your giving up medicine because of your kids....I completely understand where your coming from...

but If I were in your shoes...after going through MCAT, AMCAS, all that BS, I would rather give up my kids for adoption

cuz it was a tough road to climb....hope you will find true happiness...you deserve it...

so which school did u get accepted to?

 

[Lily2]

Amy Beth,

I agree w/ others who've posted in thinking about your decision further. Most of all tho I want to say that I think you're a wonderful person. That's the first thing I've always sensed when I've read your posts. Some pple after a few posts start to show their true colors , but you're 100% kind. Although I don't post that often and you probably don't recognize my name, I thank you for your help and advice when I had a question. Hugs to you.

 

[EMDrMoe]

I'm on board with KatieP - it's a courageous decision, but I think truth to yourself is the BEST example for your kids (whichever way you go).