Favorite Chief Complaint
Started by kugel
not a CC, but...
me: have you ever been diagnosed with any psychiatric conditions?
pt: I have the antisocial personality disorder.
me: have you ever been diagnosed with any psychiatric conditions?
pt: I have the antisocial personality disorder.
"I can't make my own bunghole feel this raw!"
(No. Really. You don't. Want. To. Know.)
(No. Really. You don't. Want. To. Know.)
"My cat's keeping me up at night."
"Why won't you let me out of this post office?"
"I'm afraid that I'm going to get constipated."
"I'm just being a consumer of your fine services."
and,
"the TV at Mike's house isn't doing me no good."
and,
"the TV at Mike's house isn't doing me no good."
In the ER: "I'm here for my check-up"
In the office: "Is it ok to have a 13 incher?"
In the office: "Is it ok to have a 13 incher?"
If I had a 13 incher, I'd find equally creative ways to share with others. If you're a cute female, don't be surprised if he's malingering 😉
Also not a CC, but:
"patient strengths: math, friends, eating Skittles."
Seriously?!? Fraking Skittles?!?
"patient strengths: math, friends, eating Skittles."
Seriously?!? Fraking Skittles?!?
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This one caused me to pause for a second to make sure I heard it correctly before continuing.
In the office: "I was having sex with my boyfriend, he went into the wrong hole, and then I had a seizure."
In the office: "I was having sex with my boyfriend, he went into the wrong hole, and then I had a seizure."
The patient? Or the doc calling the consult?
^The patient..he was anxious and needed a friend. That's the chief complaint per ED attending who consulted Psychiatry.
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"I'm here for my dancing neurons."
"This is one of the top hospitals in the country with WORLD CLASS FOOD! They gave me a sandwich this time but I'll let it slide."
296.43 (or .44, depending on the actual quality of the food.)
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