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Favorite Chief Complaint
Started by kugel
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not a CC, but...
me: have you ever been diagnosed with any psychiatric conditions?
pt: I have the antisocial personality disorder.
me: have you ever been diagnosed with any psychiatric conditions?
pt: I have the antisocial personality disorder.
"I can't make my own bunghole feel this raw!"
(No. Really. You don't. Want. To. Know.)
(No. Really. You don't. Want. To. Know.)
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"My cat's keeping me up at night."
"Why won't you let me out of this post office?"
"I'm afraid that I'm going to get constipated."
"I'm just being a consumer of your fine services."
and,
"the TV at Mike's house isn't doing me no good."
and,
"the TV at Mike's house isn't doing me no good."
In the ER: "I'm here for my check-up"
In the office: "Is it ok to have a 13 incher?"
In the office: "Is it ok to have a 13 incher?"
If I had a 13 incher, I'd find equally creative ways to share with others. If you're a cute female, don't be surprised if he's malingering 😉
Also not a CC, but:
"patient strengths: math, friends, eating Skittles."
Seriously?!? Fraking Skittles?!?
"patient strengths: math, friends, eating Skittles."
Seriously?!? Fraking Skittles?!?
D
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Last edited by a moderator:
This one caused me to pause for a second to make sure I heard it correctly before continuing.
In the office: "I was having sex with my boyfriend, he went into the wrong hole, and then I had a seizure."
In the office: "I was having sex with my boyfriend, he went into the wrong hole, and then I had a seizure."
The patient? Or the doc calling the consult?
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^The patient..he was anxious and needed a friend. That's the chief complaint per ED attending who consulted Psychiatry.
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"I'm here for my dancing neurons."
"This is one of the top hospitals in the country with WORLD CLASS FOOD! They gave me a sandwich this time but I'll let it slide."
296.43 (or .44, depending on the actual quality of the food.)
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