Feeling afraid, inadequate, and possibly regretful.

[CardioThora]

---

Members do not see this ad.

So I'm a baby just starting the pre-medical journey, but when I look at the future and I think about what I want, (to be a surgeon,) I only see myself in that future. I feel like throughout my journey I may lose my friends, the man I love, and possibly disconnect from family. The only social pool I will have is within the hospital. And I get scared that what if I am not smart enough for medical school? What if I give up? What if I don't even pass my 2 year board before going into 3rd year and my school kicks me out? I watch Grey's Anatomy a lot and yes I know its unrealistic, I just enjoy watching it. And I love how they so coincidentally find love with other doctors who understand their schedule, and work, so the relationship is more bound to work out, but that's not real life. And I think about the stress it will all bring, and how I will be most likely alone through it all if I don't find a friend to endure the struggle with.

Am I just overreacting? I feel as if I am being realistic (also something which added to my paranoia is Doctor Diaries, following some young doctors throughout their journey, all of them got divorces, literally every single one due to their career.) But despite all my worries, I cannot see myself doing anything else. My passion is science, medicine, organs, solving issues and saving people. Also I have a question about internship and residency: Do you apply for where you would like to work, do your school find a position for you, or what? How does that work? Do you even get to choose? Can you change hospitals if you don't like what you were given? Etc. Please go in depth with that.

Overall, I would just like to here you alls struggle. What were your biggest struggles? Be truthful, did your schedule ruin any of your relationships? Do you ever regret your decision to become a doctor? Were you ever close to giving up? Etc. I just want to hear stories. I want the pure truth. Lecture me if you have to, slap me out of it with your words if need be. I don't know, anything, something.

 

[NotASerialKiller]

Troll or panic attack? The "what if"s you're describing are very common fears that everyone experiences that you'd be better off expressing to a close friend or therapist. The very general questions you're asking about medicine are answered in others threads. I'm sorry that television shows have made you so severely doubt a career path you know little about and are not close to starting.

If this isn't a troll, then I apologize for my tone and the information you want is posted elsewhere, you don't have to demand it here.

 

[gannicus89]

Passionate about organs, yes? You and Hannibal both.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH. Just based on your line of questioning, it seems that you want to be a surgeon but are not sure at all how the process to becoming one works. First, you have to finish your prerequisite courses in college and apply to medical school. While in medical school, you will apply to residency programs to receive further training in your preferred field. You will have to rank which programs you are interested in and the schools who interviewed you will also rank you. I believe a special algorithm determines where you actually DO get matched for residency. While doing your residency, you have the option to apply to fellowship. Through your fellowship, you will receive even more training specific to the specialty you wish to pursue. It is a long and arduous process, especially for surgeons.

It's normal to have doubts, but you have to find a constructive way to deal with those doubts. Don't forget what you do bring to the table. No point focusing solely on your faults/flaws. Also, many people find their spouses/partners in medical school. There is plenty of neurotic fish in the...medical sea.

 

[DokterMom]

Agreeing with the first two posters: Breathe!

Yes, it's an incredibly demanding career path. But also one that every doctor successfully navigates. So it IS possible.

Does it carry a heavy price tag? Yes, absolutely. But so does every other high-achieving life path. And come to think of it, the low-achieving life paths carry a pretty heavy price tag too - just not the same one.

Will it kill your relationships? Maybe. But not the right relationship. A man who is not fully committed to your success could easily be put off by the sacrifices a medical career will require. But that's not the kind of man who will make a good life partner for a high-achieving woman anyway. (I'm assuming on the genders -- pardon if I'm wrong here.) But a potential life partner who wants you to short-circuit your dreams is the kind of person you want to lose quickly anyway -- really.

Will you just find the perfect partner in the hospital a la Grey's Anatomy? Maybe. Meeting your life partner at work or school is a pretty common thing. You'll certainly be surrounded be people who understand the demands on your time.

My advice? Take it one step at a time. Shadow some doctors to find out / be sure it's something you really, really want to do. And if there are some alternate paths you also think about, check those out as well. Then just keep moving forward --

 

[CardioThora]

Troll or panic attack? The "what if"s you're describing are very common fears that everyone experiences that you'd be better off expressing to a close friend or therapist. The very general questions you're asking about medicine are answered in others threads. I'm sorry that television shows have made you so severely doubt a career path you know little about and are not close to starting.

If this isn't a troll, then I apologize for my tone and the information you want is posted elsewhere, you don't have to demand it here.

Yes this definitely isn't a troll. Sorry to make you think so, I already have bad anxiety, so these are just my general worries I suppose...

 

[CardioThora]

Passionate about organs, yes? You and Hannibal both.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH. Just based on your line of questioning, it seems that you want to be a surgeon but are not sure at all how the process to becoming one works. First, you have to finish your prerequisite courses in college and apply to medical school. While in medical school, you will apply to residency programs to receive further training in your preferred field. You will have to rank which programs you are interested in and the schools who interviewed you will also rank you. I believe a special algorithm determines where you actually DO get matched for residency. While doing your residency, you have the option to apply to fellowship. Through your fellowship, you will receive even more training specific to the specialty you wish to pursue. It is a long and arduous process, especially for surgeons.

It's normal to have doubts, but you have to find a constructive way to deal with those doubts. Don't forget what you do bring to the table. No point focusing solely on your faults/flaws. Also, many people find their spouses/partners in medical school. There is plenty of neurotic fish in the...medical sea.

thank you for this. And for explaining it. Yeah I was truly confused on the whole residency and fellowship thing. And honestly, I know its demanding. But I know this career is my passion because the last thing I think about is how much money I will actually be making.. All I care about is being the best at it, the journey through it. This will be the hardest thing in my life to do. The biggest test for myself, and I just can't let myself down. Thank you though.

 

[CardioThora]

Agreeing with the first two posters: Breathe!

Yes, it's an incredibly demanding career path. But also one that every doctor successfully navigates. So it IS possible.

Does it carry a heavy price tag? Yes, absolutely. But so does every other high-achieving life path. And come to think of it, the low-achieving life paths carry a pretty heavy price tag too - just not the same one.

Will it kill your relationships? Maybe. But not the right relationship. A man who is not fully committed to your success could easily be put off by the sacrifices a medical career will require. But that's not the kind of man who will make a good life partner for a high-achieving woman anyway. (I'm assuming on the genders -- pardon if I'm wrong here.) But a potential life partner who wants you to short-circuit your dreams is the kind of person you want to lose quickly anyway -- really.

Will you just find the perfect partner in the hospital a la Grey's Anatomy? Maybe. Meeting your life partner at work or school is a pretty common thing. You'll certainly be surrounded be people who understand the demands on your time.

My advice? Take it one step at a time. Shadow some doctors to find out / be sure it's something you really, really want to do. And if there are some alternate paths you also think about, check those out as well. Then just keep moving forward --

I can't thank you enough for this. You are absolutely right. I'm hoping this is the right man, I know I am young but even through different state distance me and him seemed to be inseparable. Even when we parted ways, would come back together somehow, its been 5 years, and I'm hoping he will be there through my journey. My friends too. I will find a way to manage it all. I have to learn to cope. I will bloom where I was planted, the field of medicine.