Finding my passion....again

[Believe8]

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I've found myself in a place where I know where I want to end up (serving in the medical field) but it seems that I have misplaced my passion or fire for what I want to do. It feels like I'm living in this duality of what I yearn to become and not always having the drive to pursue it. Now, I know this is not what admission boards want to hear...they probably want someone who is gung-ho for the task at hand but I have to be honest with where I am. I know I'm capable of the challenges that lie before me with applying and getting thru medical school but it fefeefeels like discouragement has me by the throat and if I could just find my motivation or passion again....I could be free to run and conquer my dreams. Can anyone relate? What did you do to find your passion....again?

 

[Grace184]

Wait...what? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just not good at philosophical questions. Are you saying you want to go to med school or are questioning it?

Are you considering another medical field?

Please help me understand what you're trying to say, and I'll be honest about my journey, ups, downs, etc.

 

[cbarne01]

Rather than finding my passion again, I look at why I'm willing to sacrifice x, y & z to get where I want to be. What are the things that make med a good fit for you? Journal about the awesome patient interactions that have motivated you so far. What is it about the lifestyle and future opportunities that will make you happy? What skills are you excited to develop and improve? I've heard that you decide on medicine because no other option would make you happy. I'm motivated by knowing that we can live where we want to, have the few toys that will make life fun and that I'll have a job that will engage and challenge me (vet, not med). I was admitted to the only vet school I qualify for in Canada 3 days ago. After 3 applications, I honestly wish I could have jumped up and down and screamed with happiness but I settled for the screams of my more outgoing friends on the phone when I told them. I expect that it will sink in eventually but now I'm building up my motivation again - after 2 rejections I couldn't let myself be too confident even though I really improved my application.
Its tough but remember that its not you, its the situation. Let us know what you try and what works.

 

[Believe8]

Wait...what? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be a jerk, I'm just not good at philosophical questions. Are you saying you want to go to med school or are questioning it?

Are you considering another medical field?

Please help me understand what you're trying to say, and I'll be honest about my journey, ups, downs, etc.

I don't think you're being a jerk...there's nothing wrong with asking for more clarity when you're not quite sure (I do it all the time). But in a nutshell...I'm doubting if med school is what I want to do because my passion for it has dwindled but when I try to imagine myself in any other profession - I just can't. I wanted to know if anyone could relate to having the desire to be a physician but had to overcome challenges with keeping the fire lit under their passion to pursue their dream.

 

[Believe8]

Rather than finding my passion again, I look at why I'm willing to sacrifice x, y & z to get where I want to be. What are the things that make med a good fit for you? Journal about the awesome patient interactions that have motivated you so far. What is it about the lifestyle and future opportunities that will make you happy? What skills are you excited to develop and improve? I've heard that you decide on medicine because no other option would make you happy. I'm motivated by knowing that we can live where we want to, have the few toys that will make life fun and that I'll have a job that will engage and challenge me (vet, not med). I was admitted to the only vet school I qualify for in Canada 3 days ago. After 3 applications, I honestly wish I could have jumped up and down and screamed with happiness but I settled for the screams of my more outgoing friends on the phone when I told them. I expect that it will sink in eventually but now I'm building up my motivation again - after 2 rejections I couldn't let myself be too confident even though I really improved my application.
Its tough but remember that its not you, its the situation. Let us know what you try and what works.

This was so helpful...thank you so much for taking the time to share. I can't express how much I appreciate and treasure your words. I will definitely take you up on finding the reasons why I'm willing to sacrifice things in my life to get to where I want to be. And congratulations on admittance to school! Such an awesome thing to hear. And your tenacity is testament enough for me to keep pushing in the face of opposition and doubt. Thank you so much! I'll be sure to keep you updated ;-)

 

[Grace184]

I reread your thread and I felt exhausted. You must feel exhausted carrying around this weight of being torn between what you know you want and not having what seems like the emotional energy to pursue it. It sounds like you're burnt out- probably only temporarily. It's sounds stupid, but when was the last time you took a real vacation? Free of books, free of worrying about application, etc. have you looked into talking with a life coach or a counselor (disclaimer: not attempting to give psychological advice, only sharing what has been helpful when I felt burned out/losing direction). Are you applying this cycle? If you haven't submitted, have you considered a gap year to recollect and rekindle that passion, or take it in another direction in healthcare?

Edit: I only had trouble understanding the post the first time bc I was reading it with my left brain. This morning I really read it with my right brain and could really feel the emotion. There's a lot there. You sound lonely- but you're not alone.

 

[j4pac]

You're not suppose to be bitter, exhausted, and jaded BEFORE starting medicine. I recommend finding optimism in your existence before pursuing medicine. Medicine, god love it, has a way of beating you into the ground.

I honestly think that you need to take a step back. Take a vacation. Exercise. Find a good, not depressing, book. Do something to remove yourself from the prospects of medicine at this time...you're not ready.