First Time Posting: No Social Life, Dealing with depression

[mintyhippo97]

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Hey all,

I'm a premed right now majoring in Biochemistry with a math minor. I'm entering my second semester as a junior. I've done quite well with grades and have started research with the university. The academic sector of my life is great but my social life is just dead. I've dealt with depression due to the lack of having no social life and no support at home from my folks. I just finished my semester off strong and I'm on summer break but the depression and thoughts have come back. Its been like this sophomore year of high school and I'm just lost on how to live. I feel I'm slowly dying inside and I just don't know how to make friends. I try hit people I know up and usually get rejection or never a message in return. I have some hobbies such as lifting, mixed martial arts, and I collect comics. I'm quite active but I'm not sure why I can't make friends. I've got about a year and a half left before I go into medical school and I've heard from others in med school that to enjoy life before going in because its going to be a lot tougher. Any tips. I'm not having thoughts of suicide but its just getting harder and harder to see any hope in my life. Any help would be appreciated and I'll provide details if anyone needs clarification.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Seek counseling. Now.

 

[RNtoMD87]

Also, making friends is harder when you're younger. I never had friends growing up. Never made meaningful friends until I got out of the Army and became a career person.

 

[timephone]

College can be an alienating place for some people. Making new friends can be much more difficult in college than it is when you're out in the real world. I guarantee you're not alone. Especially with a course of study as rigorous as the one you're on, it can be hard to take time off. In fact I often feel the same way, and I'm a non-trad and likely several years older than you. I've met many awesome people since returning to school, but I don't really hang out with them outside of school. My friends are people I've known for a long time.

You should absolutely go talk to a professional about how you're feeling. Your school almost certainly has free counseling. Talking this out with someone in person, especially someone trained to do so, will help immensely.

 

[Deleted member 737595]

I don't see why people recommend counseling and 'seek a professional.' OP does not seem to be dealing with mental illness. He is simply lacking of friends, which is very common in college. Counseling won't make you friends, sorry.

OP, guess what? I have no friends either, or at least no close friends. Actually, I have one close friend who has been gone the whole year abroad. In college, I commute. While I do have my family to lean on and talk to, I have no friends my age to talk to. This makes me feel lonely sometimes as well. But not because I don't have a social life. I think that's just bull. What do you even mean by social life? Do you like to go to parties? Do you like to go out with friends and do stuff and hang out like regular people? I, for example, have never, ever wanted to party. Does that make me somehow alienated and excluded in society? Perhaps. But you have to ask yourself, what is the purpose? Do you need someone to talk to? Or are you simply comparing what you should do to what is normal in society?

Anyways, what I'm getting at is, maybe you are simply introverted. And that's okay. However, if you have absolutely no one to fall back on and talk to, this is a problem. But again, not with your mental health. You simply need to put yourself in a situation where making friends is inevitable. Get a job over the summer where you get to work with people. Join your outdoors club on campus and make conversation. Meet with advisers, tutors, become a tutor yourself! Become a peer adviser to another underclassman.

There aren't many 'tips' people on the internet can give you. You must decide for yourself why you do not have friends, whether you need friends or a friend, and find a way to get it done.

 

[barrons12101]

Everything will be ok.

 

[curbsideconsult]

Also, making friends is harder when you're younger.

^^This is really interesting. I think it may be the first time I've heard this as I've always heard it the other way around. Not criticizing you in the least. I just found it very intriguing.

OP, there are so many reasons why you feel life is this way for you. Did you have friends/a social life before sophomore year of high school? Did something happen sophomore year that you can pinpoint that made you start feeling this way? Or did it come on out of the blue? Could you be behaving in a way that turns people off? Or are you just a square peg in a round hole and you need to go find different shapes? Do you find that you relate to older people better than your peer group?

Maybe you need to spend some more time at the gym or at the dojo (or whatever) or maybe you should go to a few comi-cons or maybe try LARPing or join a team sport or all of the above. Your interests are pretty varied so maybe people in these different groups can't figure you out so don't feel like they want to hang out with you. I am absolutely not blaming you. I'm just pointing out that we're all just a bunch of Ids with legs and for all the fancy things we've invented we're still a bunch of animals who don't always treat each other right.

I hope things get better for you and you find your tribe.

 

[RedPanda55]

Hey bud, going to chime in real quick. From my experience, most people I've met who've had difficulty connecting with others and making friends, often have a difficult time opening up. This makes it difficult for anyone to get close to you as well. Of course, opening up to others is not easy. Sometimes people have things they're insecure about, things they'd like to hide, and therefore leading them to burn bridges far too early. That's also ok, it's not your fault. Everyone has something to hide.

What I'd recommend is connecting with someone who more typically wears their heart on their sleeve. Often times, it's easier to open up to people who are more open in general. They're often the ones who'll talk about themselves a little more, but it can also offer up a sense of security. It really just takes one person too! Then everything else will get much easier.

You're young and you're still going to meet plenty of people! Keep your head up and keep doing what's fun for you!

 

[Goro]

Hey all,

I'm a premed right now majoring in Biochemistry with a math minor. I'm entering my second semester as a junior. I've done quite well with grades and have started research with the university. The academic sector of my life is great but my social life is just dead. I've dealt with depression due to the lack of having no social life and no support at home from my folks. I just finished my semester off strong and I'm on summer break but the depression and thoughts have come back. Its been like this sophomore year of high school and I'm just lost on how to live. I feel I'm slowly dying inside and I just don't know how to make friends. I try hit people I know up and usually get rejection or never a message in return. I have some hobbies such as lifting, mixed martial arts, and I collect comics. I'm quite active but I'm not sure why I can't make friends. I've got about a year and a half left before I go into medical school and I've heard from others in med school that to enjoy life before going in because its going to be a lot tougher. Any tips. I'm not having thoughts of suicide but its just getting harder and harder to see any hope in my life. Any help would be appreciated and I'll provide details if anyone needs clarification.

Depression is poorly managed on anonymous internet message boards. Go see your doctor or a therapist STAT.

 

[gyngyn]

SDN should not serve as a place to obtain counseling or other advice regarding significant psychological issues. Anyone with these challenges should seek professional counseling, not rely on SDN or other non-professional resources.