First time quitting a "real" job

[epsilonprodigy]

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I realize I'm not the first person to be in this situation, but I'm a little nervous considering I've never had to quit a "real grown up" job before. I am a sexual assault examiner, and will be going to med school in the fall. I enjoy it, but the hours are crazy and unpredictable. It's a part-time job for me (I also work as an ER nurse) and I have recently realized that during the summer, it doesn't make sense to continue doing sexual assault exams. I have to send my son to day care when I'm on call due to the distance I live from the hospital, which means that I make a grand total of $3.00/hr (LOL) by the time I pay for daycare, if I don't actually get called to a case. Also, I really want to spend the summer hanging out with my husband and son as much as possible before the stuff hits the fan in the fall.

I can't help but feel that this is a little touchier than just putting in my 2-week notice. We are all really a TEAM, and our directors pour their hearts and souls into making sure the patients get everything they need. I feel like it will be viewed as being undedicated or selfish that I'm quitting, like I "should be more dedicated to the cause." For awhile, I thought it was a given that I was going to quit before med school, but then my boss started making references to "in the fall" and "once you start school," etc., and it became evident that she assumed I was staying. To make matters worse, she has recently promoted several of us to the "senior corps team," and hired a bunch of newbies for us to train. I think she is going to be really taken aback and disappointed when I quit, and I'm worried that I won't be able to stand my ground if (WHEN) she tries to convince me to just take on a lighter call schedule instead of resigning altogether.

Not totally sure what I hope to gain from this post, but any pearls on how to quit a job without any hard feelings would be much appreciated.

 

[JESSFALLING]

Leaving a job can be emotional experience. Make sure that you reflect positively on the time you spent there, and be sure to communicate your feelings to your co-workers. You could prepare thank you cards to hand out, for example. Other than that, just try to communicate that you are not leaving for any negative reasons. Most people should respect your career goal....but if they don't, it doesn't really matter.

 

[cabinbuilder]

Well, generally medical school starts in mid-July so you will need time to pack up, move if need be and get ready for the tidal wave of information to be thrust upon you. I don't blame you for wanting to take some time off before that happens and I don't think you should have any type of guilt because you are going on to improve yourself. I felt the same way as I worked as a ward clerk on a very busy floor for 7 years and trust me it was very hard to leave. Just remember that everyone is replacable even if your boss is giving you the guilt trip vibe. I would look at the calendar at the med school start date. Give yourself at least 6 weeks of prep time. Put in your notice at least a month in advance if you can with an actual end date. If they try to get you to extend just give them the answer, "med school starts sooner than I thought" (which it does) and leave it at that. I know its your team but life moves forward. Just do it.

 

[theseeker4]

I realize I'm not the first person to be in this situation, but I'm a little nervous considering I've never had to quit a "real grown up" job before. I am a sexual assault examiner, and will be going to med school in the fall. I enjoy it, but the hours are crazy and unpredictable. It's a part-time job for me (I also work as an ER nurse) and I have recently realized that during the summer, it doesn't make sense to continue doing sexual assault exams. I have to send my son to day care when I'm on call due to the distance I live from the hospital, which means that I make a grand total of $3.00/hr (LOL) by the time I pay for daycare, if I don't actually get called to a case. Also, I really want to spend the summer hanging out with my husband and son as much as possible before the stuff hits the fan in the fall.

I can't help but feel that this is a little touchier than just putting in my 2-week notice. We are all really a TEAM, and our directors pour their hearts and souls into making sure the patients get everything they need. I feel like it will be viewed as being undedicated or selfish that I'm quitting, like I "should be more dedicated to the cause." For awhile, I thought it was a given that I was going to quit before med school, but then my boss started making references to "in the fall" and "once you start school," etc., and it became evident that she assumed I was staying. To make matters worse, she has recently promoted several of us to the "senior corps team," and hired a bunch of newbies for us to train. I think she is going to be really taken aback and disappointed when I quit, and I'm worried that I won't be able to stand my ground if (WHEN) she tries to convince me to just take on a lighter call schedule instead of resigning altogether.

Not totally sure what I hope to gain from this post, but any pearls on how to quit a job without any hard feelings would be much appreciated.

Go in to the meeting with your boss with a date in mind, and go in knowing it isn't a negotiation. You have worked a job, and unless you told your boss that you were going to be working through day x, she has no reason to hold you responsible for working through that date. Be firm, apologize for the inconvenience, but make it very clear that your decision is final, the latest date you will work is ____, and you will do whatever you can to make the transition easier for your boss up to that date. If she starts to try to negotiate, unless you really want to work under her new conditions longer, simply decline and reiterate your decision.

I will be informing my boss this month that I will be quitting at the end of June, giving him time to hire/assign someone for me to train to replace me, so I am facing this myself soon. It will be a complete shock to him, though, since I have kept secret my applying and acceptance to med school.

 

[PostHaste]

It really can be hard to leave, especially when you feel so embedded. Your needs are just as important as (more important than?) theirs, though. They can hire another SANE, you can't hire another mom for your kid or buy back this last bit of free time. I know it puts pressure on your co-workers, as well, but that is part of being employed. Things hit the fan sometimes, and as a manager/employee you find ways to make it work.

If you're worried you'll get sucked into staying, you could write a letter of resignation and turn it in to HR before the meeting.

It sounds like you need to start working on their expectations around you working next fall, too. Even if you don't give a solid "last day" yet, if you have no intention of working during school you should let them know this so they can get working on the hiring.

I know it sucks. The first job I quit I teared up a little when I gave my two weeks. The job was miserable, but I really did like my boss and co-workers, and it was hard to ditch them. Good luck with the meeting!

 

[gman33]

Pick a date you want to leave and give 2 weeks notice.
Tell your manager you want to meet and come in with a simple resignation letter that includes the date. Don't bother trying to explain anything in the letter.
Just state you are leaving to pursue other career options.
If your boss tries to pressure you into staying, simply state you made up your mind and date X will be your last day and it is not open to negotiation.

It's a pain in the butt losing a good employee, but life goes on.
I was a manager in a previous career and it's part of the job.

If they don't accept this, they are the ones being unprofessional.

 

[deleted103644]

If you care, give more than 2 weeks notice. The worst they can do is force you out early, and it sounds like that wouldn't be a problem for you.

I'd opt for at least one month.

 

[NuttyEngDude]

Pick a date you want to leave and give 2 weeks notice.
Tell your manager you want to meet and come in with a simple resignation letter that includes the date. Don't bother trying to explain anything in the letter.
Just state you are leaving to pursue other career options.
If your boss tries to pressure you into staying, simply state you made up your mind and date X will be your last day and it is not open to negotiation.

It's a pain in the butt losing a good employee, but life goes on.
I was a manager in a previous career and it's part of the job.

If they don't accept this, they are the ones being unprofessional.

this is pretty much it. i wholeheartedly agree with this.

 

[sagain]

Look foreward to the future. Why is this so hard for you? I don't quiet understand.

 

[MT Headed]

I've had some throwaway jobs and gave a two week notice. At some volunteer 'jobs' I also gave two weeks notice. But for my one other real job I gave three months notice. We had reviews every May and Nov, and on my Nov review I told them my future goals were to quit in Feb. They were reasonable and no hard feelings occured. I'd been working there for seven years and figured they would appreciate the advance warning.

Sure enough the place didn't fall apart after I left. They survived; I survived.

 

[RnVt]

ED nurse here also- I couldn't believe how anxious I felt about telling my manager I will be leaving for med school. Our ED has been fraught with staffing issues and two other nurses on my shift recently gave the dreaded two week notice. I felt really guilty thinking of my poor co-corkers, knowing first hand what a struggle it is to keep patients safe and stay sane (never mind eat or pee!) when understaffed. I agree with the recommendation to give plenty of notice- I told my boss months ago so she would have time to hire a replacement...definitely helps ease the guilty feeling. Less guilty=less likely to cave

 

[HipChick]

I completely understand and am excited, yet dreading that day also. I've been an Athletic Trainer at the same high school for ten years. I've seen marriages and deaths (so hard), babies and graduations. Ijust received a request for a LoR from one of my former "babies"/athletes because she is sitting for her law license. You become a family. I'm closer to some of these folk than my own blood. They've seen ms go through my own school, preterm labor and life with a preterm babe, and now a pending divorce.

I think it comes down to the fact that we don't was to disappoint people or cause more stress.

So I understand. And I'm sure this usually strong woman right here will be sobbing like a pro football player when I have to let my teams know... I'm out.

 

[ViciousKicks]

I had to give my notice earlier this week, and I was anxious anxious anxious. My boss has known I would be leaving, but my family is going through a rough patch and my mother requested that I spend the summer with her and my little brother (9 yo) before I start school, so I had to move my quit date up by about 6 weeks. My boss took it well and all is good now! There's no reason to feel bad. People do recognize and respect that you are about to make a big life change that requires an enormous time commitment. Wanting to spend a little more time with family this summer is a valid reason to leave a job earlier than expected.

 

[primadonna22274]

I worked until literally 5 days before med school began...including time to move and "settle" into my bachelorette pad. It was hard to turn down the money (ER PA) but I really should have taken a break. I was subpoenaed to testify on a rape case that I had participated in 4 years prior about 10 days before school started...the RN that I worked with on that case had since died and I was the only other professional who could testify (except for my supervising physician who had barely spoken to the woman and certainly had not done the exam)...I guess they ended up using my notes because I was never asked to go to trial, although I would gladly have done it by Skype if the judge had allowed (the DA was dubious about this...rural SC). My point? There will ALWAYS be someone else who can step in and fill out our shoes. You have done your service for the assault victims and are advancing your education so you can do more. Don't feel guilty for moving on. I have found it more difficult than expected to work while in school...enjoy being a student while you can. Best wishes,
Lisa

 

[Rexasaurus83]

To the OP- I definitely feel your pain.

I have been working as a full-time clinical research coordinator on a very stressful and time-consuming study for the past year. After realizing that I would be moving across the country for med school, I knew I wanted more time to spend with my family and friends and that I needed time off to just mentally prepare for this life change. I told my PI that I wanted to leave a month earlier than initially anticipated. I still was giving more than 8 weeks notice.


Long story short, because of my own guilt and my PI urging me to stay a little longer if I could, I eventually decided that I would leave at the time I had originally planned which gives me four weeks to find a place, move, etc.

Hopefully I won't regret having only four weeks. Has anyone else taken little to no time off work before starting med school?

 

[primadonna22274]

Read my response just above... I had about 5 days off before starting med school including packing, moving, unpacking... NOT advised. I didn't feel settled until well into the semester.

 

[Matt In The Hat]

Having been laid off twice in the past three years, I can definitely tell you this: If your company had to make a business move that inconvenienced you, they would do it, and barely even blink. Why, then, should you feel any differently about your business decision? I would advise you to take the time you need, and then leave.

If anyone needs to be inconvenienced and unhappy here, it is them, not you.

I understand the allegiance to a great job with great people (I'll be leaving a great job in July), but this is our last opportunity to take care of ourselves. We're gonna get slammed when the school year starts. Rest now. . .

 

[DrHoffy]

I, too, had to quit my job at financial institution to pursue my dreams. I think the others are correct, give yourself the time to decompress and really enjoy your family. As someone who has gone throught the process of post bacc, medical school, and in residency you must think of this as a marathon...that never ends.

So take the time now becase once it all starts (esp. in in your intern year) the motto will be more like "sleep when you can, eat when can, and pee when you can" there is not much time for much else.

One day you will look back and realize the the days or weeks or months before med school where you chose your family and your sanity were way more valuble than the "three dollars" an hour you might of made.

Marcia

 

[CocoNutCase]

I felt a lot of guilt when I quit my first job. I really liked everybody I worked with, but it was just time for me to move on to a different job. If you're parting on good terms, they'll pretty much let you leave whenever you say you have to. And as someone said above, they'll survive without you 🙂

 

[epsilonprodigy]

Update: notice was put in, my directors were disappointed but took it well. They asked me to extend and stay 2 weeks extra than I'd proposed, which I agreed to. Phewph! Done and done.

 

[PostHaste]

Update: notice was put in, my directors were disappointed but took it well. They asked me to extend and stay 2 weeks extra than I'd proposed, which I agreed to. Phewph! Done and done.

Good for you! That's got to feel great to have it done with.

 

[notbobtrustme]

I just put my two weeks notice and I couldn't be happier. It feels good taking the entire month of July off before heading to med school in August.

 

[LupaCupcake]

My mother has moved to a different company a number of times in her career due to being offered higher positions/more pay/incentives etc. She seems to be a hot commodity to some. She always has a hard time leaving a company and it can be emotional for her, but she reminds herself that it is best for her career and for her life. She keeps friendships with some of the people at her past companies and stresses that one should never burn bridges because you never know when you will need them. She just relocated and went to a brand new company couple months ago because an old coworker of hers contacted her and pretty much said "we need you....we will pay you this, we will pay your moving expenses, pay for first 6 months rent in a new home down here, offer you a bonus if you get our building to certain standards within this time frame" etc etc.....

The point of me telling you that was that although she does not feel warm and fuzzy when she leaves a company for another one, she always puts in a good notice like you did and ensures that whomever is taking over her position is ready and she passes on all vital information to them. She never leaves on a sour note and never burns bridges and that helped her out recently because she is making out pretty well with this new company.

Just move forward and know that you did it the right way so no hard feelings will be left behind.

 

[HipChick]

Well... Our entire program got cut so 7 of us were laid off :/

 

[startoverat40]

resigned from my job today. felt like i was jumping off a cliff and hoping the landing will be soft...

gotta take chances in life, otherwise will end up stuck in a rut.

 

[Gamechanger]

resigned from my job today. felt like i was jumping off a cliff and hoping the landing will be soft...

gotta take chances in life, otherwise will end up stuck in a rut.

I'm turning in my resignation today. Cheers bro.