Getting married during internship year

[deleted1083165]

Hello all!

I am currently in the process of interviewing for APPIC internships starting later this year, and I also have plans (COVID and vaccine schedule willing) to get married late in the Fall. I recognize that this may be a moot point if COVID continues to make it unsafe, but in an ideal world, my fiancé and I would love to take a two-week honeymoon immediately after our wedding. Thus, my question... What have other interns done when getting married over the course of internship? Do most people wait until post-internship to take time off for this? Is it unrealistic for me to expect to take time off (particularly two weeks) for a honeymoon? Some sites offer particularly minimal time off that between expected days off for graduation, dissertation, etc., I can't imagine I would actually have much PTO left. Is it completely out of the question to consider unpaid time off for such a personal reason?

I am not making any ranking decisions based off of this, but would like to have a sense of what is the norm or acceptable beforehand.

Any insight would be much appreciated!

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[mypointlesspov]

A friend from my program planned her wedding for the end of her internship year (Aug) and she arranged her honeymoon to happen right afterwards, before she started postdoc. You said you would be getting married in the late fall, so would the honeymoon be around Thanksgiving or Christmas? That might work better in terms of being able to have days off without having to use a ton of PTO (depending on what the site's holiday schedule looks like). I'm not sure, but I'm inclined to think that a site wouldn't let you take two unpaid weeks off. Most internship sites are salaried/stipend-based and I don't think they could take money out of your paycheck if you didn't work for two weeks. Also, there's the matter of internships requiring 2000 hours, so two weeks off (for a non-emergency situation) on top of other PTO would create some problems. You could use the majority of your PTO for your honeymoon, but that wouldn't be a good idea, especially if sick, vacation, and professional days are combined.

Another thing to consider is when your internship starts. If the site you end up at starts in July, it might not be as big of a deal since you'd already be established there by the fall; however, if the site has a late August/early September start, I don't think it would look good to take that much time off so soon after starting. Also, postdoc interviews can start as early as December, so you want to make sure that you are around for that.

TLDR: You should probably hold off on having a two week honeymoon until after internship ends. Depending on how things look with covid at that point, maybe do a weekend trip to somewhere nearby.

 

[beantownpsych]

You would not be able to take two weeks off at my Internship site nor any other AMC I am aware of. This is particularly tricky if there are rotations as most sites have a set number of days you are allowed to take during each rotation (this is much less than two weeks). Unpaid PTO is not allowed for personal reasons.

 

[bluecolourskies]

At my site, we don’t have any PTO, and you get paid for days worked only. So if you take a day off for vacation/sick, you wouldn’t get paid, but you could take 2 weeks off (unpaid) and not take any sick/vacation days for the rest of the year.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I agree that it could be very difficult take off two straight weeks during your internship year for a honeymoon. If you have the leave available (or would by the time you complete internship) and make your future training director aware of it early, it's perhaps possible, depending on the site. However, I think the safest solution would be to take a brief honeymoon initially if desired, and save the lengthy one until you're done with internship.

Unpaid leave is not available at all sites (at least in most situations), and I'd be hesitant to consider it a viable option. Your internship site generally has a strict one-year timeline to work with, and a set of requirements you need to complete (e.g., hours, competencies, projects, etc.) during that year. The requirements are often built around you being involved in training for a full-time slate of hours over that year. By offering unpaid leave, your site might need to request an exception from their funding source, as the funding may be tied to a one-year timeline. They may also require that you extend your internship by the amount of unpaid leave you request, which can cause logistical problems for their next incoming internship cohort. Further, some sites may not be able to maintain your employment status if you go on unpaid leave. It can cause a variety of logistical problems.

 

[DynamicDidactic]

I got married in May before the start of my internship on July 1st.

I remember submitting my master's thesis for publication on my way to the wedding destination. I can't imagine trying to do it at the end (or especially during) internship. There are just too many unknowns with starting a postdoc. I recommend doing it before internship or during postdoc, which typically has more flexibility. I didn't have a honeymoon but just the wedding itself is work and was not an additional stressor I want when trying to do internship and apply for postdoc.

 

[R. Matey]

I think it depends on your site. I had enough vacation saved up to take two weeks off at the end of internship. Also, why two weeks? Why not a week or a long weekend?

 

[deleted1083165]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone! I figured it likely would not make sense to take the time off, so it was helpful to see that that suspicion was likely right. Here's to hoping for an even sweeter trip post-internship!

 

[Unipsychler]

I got married in the fall of my internship. I took one week off total: a couple days for wedding prep, and then a local long-weekend honeymoon. We planned to go on a longer one-week honeymoon in the summer, between internship and postdoc (though we ended up not doing it because of unplanned circumstances). I think the prudent thing to do is to either get married during internship with flexible plans (i.e. shorten or delay the honeymoon), or postpone the wedding in order to do it exactly the way you want.

 

[Newropsych]

Thanks for your thoughts everyone! I figured it likely would not make sense to take the time off, so it was helpful to see that that suspicion was likely right. Here's to hoping for an even sweeter trip post-internship!

I actually got married last year during internship, and my site was super flexible—I was able to take almost a whole week off. I knew I couldn’t take off more than that, so my husband and I postponed our honeymoon.

I indirectly asked TD’s and current interns when I was interviewing for internship about flexible time off. I made notes of their start dates (because I was getting married in early fall) and PTO (especially for VA’s which you have to accrue time) and pretty much all sites were open and supportive about understanding life happens in the middle of your training and working with me to make it happen. Hope this helps!

 

[AllTheFeels]

I actually got married last year during internship, and my site was super flexible—I was able to take almost a whole week off. I knew I couldn’t take off more than that, so my husband and I postponed our honeymoon.

I indirectly asked TD’s and current interns when I was interviewing for internship about flexible time off. I made notes of their start dates (because I was getting married in early fall) and PTO (especially for VA’s which you have to accrue time) and pretty much all sites were open and supportive about understanding life happens in the middle of your training and working with me to make it happen. Hope this helps!

I got married during my internship year. My site had PTO available for us from the start and we were able to work after hour outreach events, etc to accrue comp time. I ended up only taking a week off and did not have my honeymoon, but would have been able to do so if I wanted. It really seems site specific, especially regarding the type of site.

 

[HeartlyPunny]

I got married during my internship. I worked with our admin who did scheduling Meggie i even started my internship and we found me a rotation that basically had shift work that month. I think it was ER. They let me bunch up all my shifts so that I could effectively have 2 weeks off. I think I only had to use a few PTO days. I got married and then went on my honeymoon.

It's like many things, communicate and try for creative solutions. If you're not in a malignant program, nobody there is trying to screw you over, especially if you're getting married.