getting my life back together

[rednailpolish]

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i just lost my fiance to himself - he suffered head trauma, has amnesia, has no idea who i am and does not remember the past few years. in addition to my grieving, i have to figure out my new plan of action, as i was putting off my med school plans to start a family. i have a solid resume, did not take the MCAT, and my gpa sucks for other reasons (my first fiance died during undergrad (maybe i'm just not meant to be married??), i got raped right before grad school, etc), too much trauma and a family who didn't understand that i couldn't do everything or anything, so they pushed me and insisted i do things anyway. here is where i am now:

undergrad: cornell, 3.3 cgpa, 2.9 sgpa
grad: johns hopkins, 2.9 gpa (i had one incomplete that turned into a F, bringing me way down, otherwise all Bs and As), 3.1 sgpa
TA: physiology, microbiology
research: years and years, mostly in the social sciences, but also in a wound healing lab
internships/extracurriculars: everything from working at a pharmaceutical company to teaching sex ed to inner city students, plenty in between

my orgo II grades sucked. i already took it twice, D+ first time, C- the second. do i try to retake this or do i move on to biochem? and since it's been a while, do i just do everything over? take the orgo series again?
physics was okay, B+ in both. bio classes are all over the place, but i have bio research, have been a bio TA, and then got my master's in a biological science so that should cover that, at least. i don't know if a formal program would be helpful, plus i need to get a job so scheduling will be a problem. plus studying for the MCAT.

ETA: i have acceptances at some random caribbean med schools, but pretty much got yelled at here for wasting a cornell and hopkins education only to go to one of those, so i guess that's out. i am open to other international schools with better reputations, however, like in the UK or australia, across europe, so on

ideas? i know better this time not to start anything until i heal from my loss and my family will not interfere because this time they know just how bad it is, with everything happening very suddenly and them actually seeing my grief. i just want to get a head start on planning so i feel like i'm doing something and i'm making my life mine again

 

[Goro]

Suggest treatment for PTSD, for starters.

Your stats are in no condition for any med school right now. You need to heal first.

i just lost my fiance to himself - he suffered head trauma, has amnesia, has no idea who i am and does not remember the past few years. in addition to my grieving, i have to figure out my new plan of action, as i was putting off my med school plans to start a family. i have a solid resume, did not take the MCAT, and my gpa sucks for other reasons (my first fiance died during undergrad (maybe i'm just not meant to be married??), i got raped right before grad school, etc), too much trauma and a family who didn't understand that i couldn't do everything or anything, so they pushed me and insisted i do things anyway. here is where i am now:

undergrad: cornell, 3.3 cgpa, 2.9 sgpa
grad: johns hopkins, 2.9 gpa (i had one incomplete that turned into a F, bringing me way down, otherwise all Bs and As), 3.1 sgpa
TA: physiology, microbiology
research: years and years, mostly in the social sciences, but also in a wound healing lab
internships/extracurriculars: everything from working at a pharmaceutical company to teaching sex ed to inner city students, plenty in between

my orgo II grades sucked. i already took it twice, D+ first time, C- the second. do i try to retake this or do i move on to biochem? and since it's been a while, do i just do everything over? take the orgo series again?
physics was okay, B+ in both. bio classes are all over the place, but i have bio research, have been a bio TA, and then got my master's in a biological science so that should cover that, at least. i don't know if a formal program would be helpful, plus i need to get a job so scheduling will be a problem. plus studying for the MCAT.

ETA: i have acceptances at some random caribbean med schools, but pretty much got yelled at here for wasting a cornell and hopkins education only to go to one of those, so i guess that's out. i am open to other international schools with better reputations, however, like in the UK or australia, across europe, so on

ideas? i know better this time not to start anything until i heal from my loss and my family will not interfere because this time they know just how bad it is, with everything happening very suddenly and them actually seeing my grief. i just want to get a head start on planning so i feel like i'm doing something and i'm making my life mine again

 

[DavetheMD]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. As a fellow trauma survivor, I can tell you that flames will temper you into a more emotionally solid and conditioned individual. Heed Goro's advice and seek treatment before you make medicine a priority. It isn't going anywhere. Perhaps take a gap year and do some volunteer work.

When you are done taking this time you can retake those courses and explore osteopathic medicine, which allows for GPA repair. I hope you won't hurry this journey. Best of luck to you.

 

[j4pac]

I think that you need to stop and breath. I agree with Goro. You would likely fail out of med school right now. You aren't ready...and it's not your fault...but it's your reality. Can you pull yourself together and eventually be a competitive pre-med applicant? Absolutely...but you are likely at least a year away from even considering such a feat.

Absolutely DO NOT GO TO THE CARIBBEAN. This has nothing to do with pride...has nothing to do with you coming from Cornell and Hopkins. I would give the same advice to ANYONE. It's a poor investment...especially in your current situation. You want to set yourself up for success and NOT failure when you enter medical school. Medical school and residency is NOT the place for mental health treatment and grieving. Your life will become incredibly more stressful. I understand that you are goal directed but there is a time and place for everything.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[rednailpolish]

okay. thanks all. i guess i just want to distract myself and feel useful again while i take the time to get through a lot of damage. i'm kind of just lost. maybe i'll find part-time research or something to keep myself busy a few days of the week, therapy the rest, things like that.

 

[PreMedBeauty]

Take it slow in whatever you do and use your challenges to better yourself. You can get through this. May I ask if Cornell was tough to get through?

 

[PlasticBag]

okay. thanks all. i guess i just want to distract myself and feel useful again while i take the time to get through a lot of damage. i'm kind of just lost. maybe i'll find part-time research or something to keep myself busy a few days of the week, therapy the rest, things like that.

If you want to feel useful, part-time research as you suggested, plus volunteer work, should feel rewarding (and will help your application). There is something about helping others that can be quite healing. So perhaps you can find some meaningful (not the checkbox type!) volunteering experience while you undergo treatment and prepare for the next step. Taking pre-med classes will likely not make you feel useful! I have never felt more useless than when I was taking orgo (and doing badly) as a postbacc student.

I am sorry you have experienced so much trauma. I hope you get help and start feeling better soon. Your application has so much potential if you wait a bit and play your cards well. Good luck!

 

[jas972]

It sucks that all those terrible things happened to you. Like others have said, you need to heal first before attempting medical school, because if you jump right you're setting yourself up for failure. That being said, I think the healing process can include some things that can also help you come application time. Try to notch a few A's in some informal post bacc classes (maybe 1 or 2 at a time to start) to get your confidence back that you can do well in school. Dedicate a few months to doing well on the MCAT. Volunteering can help contextualize your desire to pursue medicine in a tangible way. Make sure to start slow and build up at a pace you're comfortable with: this is a marathon after all! As a fellow Cornellian, I can say that Cornell offers some pretty solid resources for alumni, so call up the career services center and tell them your situation and see what they say. Don't settle for international schools. Find out your weaknesses and make them strengths. Most importantly, you need to understand that this process is an exercise in overcoming obstacles. You, unlike most, have gone through unimaginable ordeals, so you have a unique perspective on life, loss, trauma, and grief. Use it to your advantage if you can help it.

If you want to PM with questions, I'd be more than happy to help. I also graduated from Cornell and am applying this cycle, if that's of any use to you. But the people on this site are super helpful and they've given you great advice. Hope things turn around for you.