Getting screwed over

[PomPom]

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Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a counselor

4. other, elaborate

 

[YouDontKnowJack]

wait for the perfect time to screw him/her over.

in the meantime, act like nothing has happened, and be friendly.

 

[R*ckstar]

Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a conselor

4. other, elaborate

I think the best thing you can do with any conflict is decide whether you can let it go or not. Your best bet is probably to let it go if it is a small issue. Remember med school is like high school in that it is a small group of people who spend a lot of time together. No sense in making an enemy or starting unnecessary drama. However, if this is something that you are still going to be bothered by in a week or a month, then go directly to the person and ask him/her to talk. Explain exactly how you feel without being accusatory or angry, and go from there. Good luck 🙂

 

[Pinkertinkle]

I'd put poo under their car door handle.

 

[PomPom]

I'd put poo under their car door handle.

I like the way you think

there's too much shady business in the world. 👎

 

[Mayhem]

I'd let it go the first time. Everybody makes mistakes. The second time you need to confront them because by the third time it's a habit and that's a whole new monster. Better to nip it in the bud

 

[JohnnyOU]

Turn in a Change Of Address form to the post office in their name and have all their crap sent to a little town on the other side of the country. 👍

It takes like 6 months for them to straighten all that out...and two weeks of no mail before they're going "WTF?" 😉

ps....wear gloves when you do it and sign it all with your left hand so it's impossible to match handwriting.

 

[El Sol]

Turn in a Change Of Address form to the post office in their name and have all their crap sent to a little town on the other side of the country. 👍

It takes like 6 months for them to straighten all that out...and two weeks of no mail before they're going "WTF?" 😉

ps....wear gloves when you do it and sign it all with your left hand so it's impossible to match handwriting.

You're bad 😀

 

[StevenRF]

Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a conselor

4. other, elaborate

How did he/she screw you over? Are you sure it was intentional? This is why the first day of med school you have to go start a fight/ stab someone to show everyone your not gonna be someone's bitch.

I think you just have to eat it and wait for karma to give you an opportunity to return the favor.

 

[Medical123]

Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a counselor

4. other, elaborate

It depends on what they did. If it were something minor, with no permanent consequences, I would probably just harbor the hatred while secretly wanting that person to fall face down in a pile of cow poo! However, if it were something that affected my future, I would definitely confront!

 

[rpkall]

speak up, tell them you're a little pissed off, and that they're a pain in the ass.

Unless they did something really minor, and speaking up would only serve to show people that you're a neurotic fool...

 

[Law2Doc]

Turn in a Change Of Address form to the post office in their name and have all their crap sent to a little town on the other side of the country. 👍

It takes like 6 months for them to straighten all that out...and two weeks of no mail before they're going "WTF?" 😉

ps....wear gloves when you do it and sign it all with your left hand so it's impossible to match handwriting.

Actually, it's a bad idea to go the federal offense route -- keep your revenge local and you will do less time when you get caught.

 

[njbmd]

Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a counselor

4. other, elaborate

Hi there,
You are a professional. How are you going to handle this professionally? In real life, and I know this is difficult, you are going to fell "screwed over" on a regular basis. If you buy into solutions 1, 2 and 3, you will spend most of your professional life in pretty sad shape. Let it go, watch your back and keep moving forward. "Living well is always the best revenge."

njbmd 🙂

 

[tupac_don]

Hi there,
You are a professional. How are you going to handle this professionally? In real life, and I know this is difficult, you are going to fell "screwed over" on a regular basis. If you buy into solutions 1, 2 and 3, you will spend most of your professional life in pretty sad shape. Let it go, watch your back and keep moving forward. "Living well is always the best revenge."

njbmd 🙂

You said it perfectly. 👍

 

[kirexhana]

Hi there,
You are a professional. How are you going to handle this professionally? In real life, and I know this is difficult, you are going to fell "screwed over" on a regular basis. If you buy into solutions 1, 2 and 3, you will spend most of your professional life in pretty sad shape. Let it go, watch your back and keep moving forward. "Living well is always the best revenge."

njbmd 🙂

i dunno, i don't see anything wrong with number 1. not confronting him just makes it seem like he can do whatever he wants and get away with it. this isn't high school, but this kind of dynamic sounds very similar. if it will make you feel better, i'd say confront him about it. the whole "get over it and move on" speech doesn't quite work when you have to treat this person like a colleague. might as well get it in the open and perhaps get a better relationship with him.

 

[ballsbob]

How did he/she screw you over? Are you sure it was intentional? This is why the first day of med school you have to go start a fight/ stab someone to show everyone your not gonna be someone's bitch.

I think you just have to eat it and wait for karma to give you an opportunity to return the favor.

I agree with StevenRF, I usually advise people to stab at least 2 people on their first day of med school!

 

[Callogician]

Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a counselor

4. other, elaborate

Please provide more information.

 

[Law2Doc]

I agree with StevenRF, I usually advise people to stab at least 2 people on their first day of med school!

Agree. It's like prison -- on that first day you pick the toughest looking dude, and kick the crap out of him. After that no one dares mess with you.
And be sure to give everyone the crazy eyes if they stare. A mean tatoo and a pet pit bull help too.

 

[YouDontKnowJack]

dudes. the op got "screwed over"

that's not minor.

as a basic sciences med student, you are allowed to act immature and screw him back. frankly, after the first 2 years, you'll never see him again.

eye for an eye. raaaaaaahhhhhhhh

 

[MD2b20004]

Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a counselor

4. other, elaborate

LOL this thread reminds me of a buddy of mine who was partnered up with a gunner for micro. and she would always take all the microscope time and take the slides home and not really share, she was a GUNNER, my friend was super smart and very polite, but man did I hear that **** I wanna **** she is such a *****. But hey after all it was just a class, once the class is over he did not have to marry her. In his situation he confronted her after he realized she was rude enough that she was not getting his hints of HELLO we are partners thing. He did it in a very polite but same time I dont appreciate this **** tone, it worked for him. And about your 4 listed , DONT DO NUMBER 3 you will never hear the end of it, all counselors do is blab about crap you already know, easier said than done kinda stuff. Well at least from what I heard.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

I'm inclined to agree with njbmd in that letting it go is usually the best response. However, if you have to work with this person for a while and if this incident is likely to repeat itself and if there's a likely (not remote, likely) possibility of improving your life by talking to this person, then maybe some subtle, tactful, non-hostile confrontation could be okay.

 

[Margaritaville]

Ok, if a fellow med student screws you over in any way, what would you do?

1. Confront the student

2. secretly harbor all the hatred

3. seek a counselor

4. other, elaborate

I'd wait until he/she was least expecting it, then do something really nasty right back at 'em. Revenge is a dish that is best served cold. 😉

 

[bubbles!]

I would secretly harbor the hatred until it destroyed my soul.

and maybe take up meditation or kickboxing.

But that's just me 🙂

 

[Paws]

I think it is ok to ask the person: hey, person. I was really upset that you took the slides home and did not let me have a chance to use them. We are supposed to be lab partners, and I wasn't given the opportunity to look at them. The next time, we need to work out a better solution so that we can both have a chance to use the micro slides.

Ok, so I used another poster's example. I agree that there will be way more **** than we can handle being thrown at us and we will have to let it go, mostly. But a classmate is still a peer and when done well, a simple confrontation can be healthy. This depends on what exactly the classmate did. But I also agree that we must always (ALWAYS) watch our back with colleagues and peers. Our friends outside school/work are different. I try and not confuse the two, because when I do I am usually hurt. It's a hard lesson to learn.

I also think that counseling is always a good idea for what ails us! How can you go wrong sitting and talking about your feelings in a safe environment, with someone who wants to hear them and is trained to help us? Counseling is great for helping us to understand this sometimes crazy world we live in. 👍

 

[Wee Free Woman]

Isn't it sad that colleagues will hurt each other this way?

If it was minor, I'd let it go, and just do whatever I need to do to make sure that person is not preventing me from learning. If they are preventing me from learning, I'd try to tactfully broach the topic. Perhaps not even make an issue about it while doing so. Like if it was a my-lab-partner-took-home-the-slides issue, I'd just call them up and ask them for the slides.

But if it is something serious that jeapardizes your future as a doctor, and the situation is totally unfair to you, and you know you are doomed for disaster, then talk to a professor/dean about it. In such a dramatically intense situation, I wouldn't even bother talking to the person about it. Bypass them and go directly to an authority figure.

I guess its tough, but one thing you can do is not put yourself in any compromising position. Don't do anything that would allow someone to take undue advantage of you. And always put everything in writing. Like if you're working with other students on a project/presentation, etc, then have everything recorded in writing.

I don't really know what to say. Its a horrible situation to find yourself in. As a pre-med, I remember being screwed once or twice by fellow pre-meds and it sucks to be in such a position.

Oh and definitely start learning how to read people from a distance. If they seem like dirty rats, they probably are...so just do your best to avoid them and keep communication with them at a minimum. No need to wake up a sleeping dog.

 

[Law2Doc]

But if it is something serious that jeapardizes your future as a doctor, and the situation is totally unfair to you, and you know you are doomed for disaster, then talk to a professor/dean about it. In such a dramatically intense situation, I wouldn't even bother talking to the person about it. Bypass them and go directly to an authority figure.

You have to be really careful with this -- nobody likes a whiner or whistleblower. Save this as an absolute last resort. It often leads to an uncomfortable situation as bad as the initial one. People tend to circle the wagons when one is attacked/accused, whether rightly or wrongly. In a recommendation driven profession, going over someone's head can make a situation worse for you. So make sure it is the only option.

 

[Wee Free Woman]

^ Yeah, I'm talking about something really horrible, like say a fellow medical student sexually abusing you or something.

Otherwise, have loads of patience.

 

[UCSFnerd]

"Living well is always the best revenge."

njbmd 🙂

nice quote. Me likes.

 

[sentrosi]

The school of Gregory House would teach you to harbor a grudge for years and years. Then at some point later in life, screw them over after waiting in the shadows the whole time.

 

[PomPom]

The school of Gregory House would teach you to harbor a grudge for years and years. Then at some point later in life, screw them over after waiting in the shadows the whole time.

I get chills thinking about this one.


Anyways, I'm just going to harbor the hatred until I forgive and forget. Hopefully this type of thing won't happen again, but if it does, I will have to confront it. I have a limited amount of tolerance for getting shafted.

 

[PomPom]

oh, by the way, great advice, everyone!