Girlfriend and the DAT

[Gail Wynand]

Hey friends of SDN,

First and foremost, for about 6 months now I have been a silent observer/reader of these forums and you all rock. Thank you for all, very much, for the help that I have already received from you. And now here is my first post...

My girlfriend (who I live with) is giving me all kinds of hell because I can't spend time with her during the week because I'm studying for my DAT. I work like 32 hours a week and I'm busting my ass to every minute that I'm not working. I have a ****ty science GPA (below 3.0 ) and I am really trying to make up for it with a stellar DAT score, which I think I am capable of, if I STUDY! Lol. How can I make her understand that I need alone time, not texting back and forth, but silent time where I work. Organic and inorganic chem are quite difficult for me and I feel like I have to put in more time than most to do well. Any advice? Ladies what do you think?

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[Gail Wynand]

Really? Thats the best advice you have?

 

[ScarletKnight24]

Hey friends of SDN,

First and foremost, for about 6 months now I have been a silent observer/reader of these forums and you all rock. Thank you for all, very much, for the help that I have already received from you. And now here is my first post...

My girlfriend (who I live with) is giving me all kinds of hell because I can't spend time with her during the week because I'm studying for my DAT. I work like 32 hours a week and I'm busting my ass to every minute that I'm not working. I have a ****ty science GPA (below 3.0 ) and I am really trying to make up for it with a stellar DAT score, which I think I am capable of, if I STUDY! Lol. How can I make her understand that I need alone time, not texting back and forth, but silent time where I work. Organic and inorganic chem are quite difficult for me and I feel like I have to put in more time than most to do well. Any advice? Ladies what do you think?

you are asking relationship advice on SDN? come on man. 75% SDN members probably never even had a relationship

 

[DentalDiva RDH]

You coming on here says a lot about how you feel about your relationship, it's obviously important to you and the obvious and rational answer here is to break-up, but you live with her, so even if that were to happen like tomorrow, that would take up more of your time now, then just sticking with it through studying. This is only the beginning, if she is this needy now, watch out dental school. Even though that's a ways a way, with hard work, it's coming, what will she do then?? :/ Not sure if your girlfriend is as equally as ambitious as you or even is successful with her life thus far, but if she cannot understand the importance given, attention needed, and hard work that is poured into something like this, you need to seriously re-think if your relationship will be able to survive the wrath of dental school.

Have a heart to heart, give her some time to adjust (because that's only fair for the both of you), if she can't even handle the DAT, she's not made for this, she isn't cuttin' it, let her go.

 

[theleatherwalle]

you are asking relationship advice on SDN? come on man. 75% SDN members probably never even had a relationship

This is the most accurate statistic on sdn. You should talk to her about it. If she can't understand, trust me dental school will literally eat your time away.

 

[Dent22519]

Best advice for any relationship: honesty and communication. Sit down with her and just tell her how you feel and make sure she understands how important this test is for you and your future. Be honest and tell her that you need text-free time/alone time. Another tip is to set up time in advance where you will wholeheartedly drop studying and focus on each other. For example, when I was studying for the DAT, my bf was studying for Step 1 of his medical boards, so we would set up a couple times a week to call each other (like 30 min). We would also get together and study. Maybe you guys can do the same (she must be able to find something quiet to do that will keep her busy). Bottom line, is just be honest and talk with her. Also remind her once, you're done, everything will go back to normal! Good luck! 🙂

 

[Gail Wynand]

you are asking relationship advice on SDN? come on man. 75% SDN members probably never even had a relationship

This is as hilarious as it is sad. But I'm sure you are right. It was worth a try tho right?

 

[Gail Wynand]

You coming on here says a lot about how you feel about your relationship, it's obviously important to you and the obvious and rational answer here is to break-up, but you live with her, so even if that were to happen like tomorrow, that would take up more of your time now, then just sticking with it through studying. This is only the beginning, if she is this needy now, watch out dental school. Even though that's a ways a way, with hard work, it's coming, what will she do then?? :/ Not sure if your girlfriend is as equally as ambitious as you or even is successful with her life thus far, but if she cannot understand the importance given, attention needed, and hard work that is poured into something like this, you need to seriously re-think if your relationship will be able to survive the wrath of dental school.

Have a heart to heart, give her some time to adjust (because that's only fair for the both of you), if she can't even handle the DAT, she's not made for this, she isn't cuttin' it, let her go.

I appreciate the advice. And she is ambitious. She graduated with honors from MU's J school and double majored in Spanish. Studied abroad in Buenos Aires for 3 months. And now has a full time job a respectable company. But, she is just head over heals in love with me and wants me to herself all the time. Truthfully, it is the best relationship i have ever been in and I'm very happy,and we get along great. She just wants alot of my time and I just dont have it to give now.

 

[Gail Wynand]

Best advice for any relationship: honesty and communication. Sit down with her and just tell her how you feel and make sure she understands how important this test is for you and your future. Be honest and tell her that you need text-free time/alone time. Another tip is to set up time in advance where you will wholeheartedly drop studying and focus on each other. For example, when I was studying for the DAT, my bf was studying for Step 1 of his medical boards, so we would set up a couple times a week to call each other (like 30 min). We would also get together and study. Maybe you guys can do the same (she must be able to find something quiet to do that will keep her busy). Bottom line, is just be honest and talk with her. Also remind her once, you're done, everything will go back to normal! Good luck! 🙂

Ahh advice from a lady. Thank you. As a woman, how much time do you think is "enough" to spend together each night while one would be studying for the DAT? I study at the med school all the time, maybe I can get her to join me. Thanks again for the thoughtful post.

 

[Gail Wynand]

I think reddit would be more useful (and much more entertaining) for this sort of advice thing lol

possibly. lol. Just wanted some advice. This will prob be the only type of post I will be putting out like this.

 

[n27s]

Ahh advice from a lady. Thank you. As a woman, how much time do you think is "enough" to spend together each night while one would be studying for the DAT? I study at the med school all the time, maybe I can get her to join me. Thanks again for the thoughtful post.

having her join you is not a good idea, it will just distract you. honestly you have to be selfish with your time to do well because this test requires a A LOT of time studying. currently i study from when i wake up 8 am to when i go to sleep 10pm and i still feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. tell her to just tough it up it's just until you take the test. i had to tell my bf the same thing, and of course they dont listen! so you just have to be selfish and dont be afraid to hurt her feelings, she'll get over it but the dat score stays with you.. even with retakes. just gotta get your priorities in line. for me, i dont want anything else more in life than to get into dental school.. as psycho as that sounds. 😱

 

[Gail Wynand]

having her join you is not a good idea, it will just distract you. honestly you have to be selfish with your time to do well because this test requires a A LOT of time studying. currently i study from when i wake up 8 am to when i go to sleep 10pm and i still feel like there aren't enough hours in the day. tell her to just tough it up it's just until you take the test. i had to tell my bf the same thing, and of course they dont listen! so you just have to be selfish and dont be afraid to hurt her feelings, she'll get over it but the dat score stays with you.. even with retakes. just gotta get your priorities in line. for me, i dont want anything else more in life than to get into dental school.. as psycho as that sounds. 😱

God me too. That last sentence is the recurrent thought that cycles through my brain about umm...every 5 minutes of every day. I probably think about getting into dental school more than I think about sex lol. And now that I think about it, you are probably right about not having her study with me. The last time we did that I got nothing done. Thanks for the post. 👍

 

[Dent22519]

Yeah, studying together doesn't always work for everyone. As for how much time, I think that's a question you have to ask yourself and that you guys are going to have to compromise on. My bf and I don't live together, and the weeks preceding the exam I think we called each other twice a week and talked for 30min. We'd text occasionally during the days we didn't talk. Obviously it's going to be different for you guys since you live together and you're working. Perhaps you guys can always have dinner together? Or maybe each night spend half an hour with each other? It's going to come down to your personal preference and how much time you think you can spare--I totally remember having the "oh god gotta maximize time as much as possible or i will fail mentality" when I was studying. The half hour thing will probably work out better for you (maybe before bed or something). Remember you got to take a break sometime! Hope that helps!

 

[sbesbesbe]

you are asking relationship advice on sdn? Come on man. 75% sdn members probably never even had a relationship

lol

 

[chanelyl]

Hahahahahah! This is hilarious.
Hey listen, you should seriously sit down with her and talk to her about it. It's for your future and it's probably one of the most period of time in your life. Trust me, if she truly loves you, she will want what's best for you even if it means going through a little rough patch together 🙂 Goodluck

 

[Greenvneck]

.

 

[tayloreve]

Maybe she needs to realize that if she wants you to make a lot of $$$ to be able to spoil her later in life, she needs to give you these few months to study and not bother you.

Sounds like a stage 5 clinger!!!!! 😱


and btw...if she can't handle a few months of studying...how are yall going to make it through dental school together when your in class 8-5 and then studying all night after class? erm..

 

[clubwestpua]

you are asking relationship advice on SDN? come on man. 75% SDN members probably never even had a relationship

😆😆😆

 

[NguyenDDS]

good luck!

 

[Dgeorg6]

I feel your struggle man.. My girlfriend basically lives with me and wants me to be with her 24\7 and I have been studying everyday for about 5-6 hours and all she does is bitch about wanting me to be there with her and how I should already know the material and blah blah. Just ignore it. She isn't going to break up with you. And if you don't want to do that just try and make her go on a guilt trip by saying she doesn't support you and your dreams and it really hurts you and stuff like that. She has to realize your wants in life, and if she doesn't chill out you wont make it and then she doesn't get to be married to a rich doctor! Also if she can't handle you not being with her that much now, how is she going to do while your in dental school? Classes 8-5 and that doesn't include studying.. She either has to get past it, or get out of your house.

 

[bprior]

Hey friends of SDN,

First and foremost, for about 6 months now I have been a silent observer/reader of these forums and you all rock. Thank you for all, very much, for the help that I have already received from you. And now here is my first post...

My girlfriend (who I live with) is giving me all kinds of hell because I can't spend time with her during the week because I'm studying for my DAT. I work like 32 hours a week and I'm busting my ass to every minute that I'm not working. I have a ****ty science GPA (below 3.0 ) and I am really trying to make up for it with a stellar DAT score, which I think I am capable of, if I STUDY! Lol. How can I make her understand that I need alone time, not texting back and forth, but silent time where I work. Organic and inorganic chem are quite difficult for me and I feel like I have to put in more time than most to do well. Any advice? Ladies what do you think?

I feel you...same situation here but add pregnancy to the mix (8 months pregnant at that). Sure she complains but I just reassure her it will be over very soon (I hope). Just keep on with it, you're going to have to put up with her complaining but what's going to happen? Is she going to leave you for this? Not a chance, especially if you're going to be a dentist.

 

[m0chicheeks]

If she can't let you study for your DAT, then how do you think life'll be when you're IN dental school? :[ She should be understanding. If not, then you have to make a decision to risk breaking up with her OR possibly not getting into school... :T

 

[Gail Wynand]

I feel you...same situation here but add pregnancy to the mix (8 months pregnant at that). Sure she complains but I just reassure her it will be over very soon (I hope). Just keep on with it, you're going to have to put up with her complaining but what's going to happen? Is she going to leave you for this? Not a chance, especially if you're going to be a dentist.

Damn, lol. Thanks for the advice!

 

[Gail Wynand]

If she can't let you study for your DAT, then how do you think life'll be when you're IN dental school? :[ She should be understanding. If not, then you have to make a decision to risk breaking up with her OR possibly not getting into school... :T

Oh God. I hope thats not the case. I'm gonna talk with her tonight about all of this. I think she will understand. I mean, if she says how much she cares about me and all. I've also been wondering how we would fair together through dental school. She told me yesterday, "we won't even know each other after you graduate dental school". I don't know, i guess it could be possible. I would hope not though. Anyone here currently in dental school and in a relationship?

 

[Gail Wynand]

I feel your struggle man.. My girlfriend basically lives with me and wants me to be with her 24\7 and I have been studying everyday for about 5-6 hours and all she does is bitch about wanting me to be there with her and how I should already know the material and blah blah. Just ignore it. She isn't going to break up with you. And if you don't want to do that just try and make her go on a guilt trip by saying she doesn't support you and your dreams and it really hurts you and stuff like that. She has to realize your wants in life, and if she doesn't chill out you wont make it and then she doesn't get to be married to a rich doctor! Also if she can't handle you not being with her that much now, how is she going to do while your in dental school? Classes 8-5 and that doesn't include studying.. She either has to get past it, or get out of your house.

Spoken like a true suave.

 

[Gail Wynand]

I'm a woman, and to be blunt, she sounds unhealthily clingy/needy and needs to be more independent. She needs to be supportive. You will be studying most of the time during dental school so you're currently giving her a taste of what it may be like. However, since you want it to work out between you two right now, I suggest telling her that this DAT is very important to you and it is the line between you and your future. Tell her you need to dedicate so and so weeks to study and focus on the DAT so you can do well. Tell her after you are done taking the DAT, you will make it up to her? After you both talk, and if she STILL cannot understand that... then I would suggest telling her that you both need to take a "break" from each other and alone time for several weeks. You shouldn't have to go through this unnecessary stress. Good luck! 🙂

Thanks for the advice. I think I have to blunt like this. I really do need support in this.

 

[Gail Wynand]

Well, lol. That went better than expected 😀

 

[NewBee12]

Here is my opinion : if she can't understand your situation now, wait till you get into dental school. What I'm getting to is this: the sooner it's over the better for both of you. Sorry if I hurt your feeling but I have to be honest with you.