Gold Digger

[----------12c]

Guys and Gals please bare with me! So Med school is started up and life's great. But I have a serious problem how do you all avoid gold diggers? Now that school has started and everyone from my home city knows that I am attending medical school thanks to my mother and grandmother all of these past EX's and people from school and college are coming out of the wood work and wanting to have a relationship. It's obioviosly because they have this strange idea that I will be rich and provide a good life for them. Also I'm not physically attracted to anyone in my classes and I feel like I need to stay home and study rather then go out and meet people! I'm just venting because it beyond upsets me that this is happening. I just want to find someone who doesn't care about my future occupation!

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[OnePunchBiopsy]

I would reply to your question, but by doing so I am afraid you would want to start a relationship with me and have access to the vast riches I have attained after 2 years of medical school.

 

[----------12c]

I would reply to your question, but by doing so I am afraid you ould want to start a relationship with me and have access to the vast riches I have attained after 2 years of medical school.

 

[ewax]

asl?

 

[Lawgiver]

if they are not smart enough to just happen to run into you one day and instead make their motives so obvious you should stay away from all of them. Ignoring them will work eventually.

 

[ortnakas]

Show them one of those Nelnet update emails on your current loan balance.

 

[AlmostAnMD]

At the end of medical school now. I've built up enough net worth over the last four years to have three different girlfriends and owe each of them almost $100,000 if I wanted to

 

[tyrsa]

Tell them you're planning to be heavily involved with Doctors Without Borders and will work primarily in 3rd world counties. The people with ulterior motives will scatter.

 

[solitarius]

I just want to find someone who doesn't care about my future occupation!

Sorry bro. They all care 'bout your future occupation.

 

[Stagg737]

Show them one of those Nelnet update emails on your current loan balance.

Then tell them you're only planning on working in free clinics...

 

[----------12c]

Show them one of those Nelnet update emails on your current loan balance.

That's enough to make me seriously cry haha.

 

[Kaustikos]

Or....
Just enjoy the ride. But use protection. And don't make them think it's anything else. Hurray for sex/stress relief!

 

[ortnakas]

That's enough to make me seriously cry haha.

I said show the email to the gold-diggers, not read it yourself! I don't know why they insist on sending depressing updates...

 

[bc65]

It's no joke. Be careful. In my hospital I saw two bad marriages between women who worked in the OR and surgeons. I was friendly with both women, and both were very frank with me about their intentions to marry surgeons.

Both surgeons regretted their decision to marry. The results were disastrous. They were very naive, as both the intention of the women and their unsuitability were very obvious.

Another friend of mine from residency was snatched up by his ex from college, who moved out to a new city so as to take up with him again. They married, and they later divorced. Another result that I saw coming.

Another fellow resident had breakup sex with a nurse he had been seeing. She got pregnant ( probably her intention all along ) and had the baby. Because of that child, he is now stuck with that woman forever. She has a personality disorder and substance abuse issues. Imagine that crazy girlfriend you once dated being the mother of your child.

BE CAREFUL !

By the way, this warning applies to women as well. I know of several female physicians who ended up paying alimony to their exes. Get a prenup if possible.

 

[atomi]

how do you all avoid gold diggers?

Simple. Tell all the girls you are a first year med student. This means that you will be living off of meager student loans for 4 more years, then will have on average 4-5 years of $50k/year income, then will have another 5-10 years of loan repayments that will reduce your disposable income to $1-2k/month, and then after that you will be making somewhere around $200k-$300k/year. Not really much to brag about when you're approaching 50.

You might pick up a few of the special ed gold diggers who think a 20 year old Lexus is impressive because it has power windows and leather seats. But the real-deal, life ruining kind will skip you and your over-inflated ego. Unless you're 10 years in private practice and have considerable assests and investment in and outside of your practice, you'll get passed over for some local construction guy who made 3mil last year. You did not. They don't care that you went to harvard and mr. erector set got an associates degree and an MBA online.

So, good news for you! One less thing to worry about!

 

[Lawgiver]

special ed gold diggers lol best.

 

[Ophthoseidon]

Maybe you could trick them and marry them now, then divorce them after 4 years and say they owe you half the debt

 

[bc65]

Maybe you could trick them and marry them now, then divorce them after 4 years and say they owe you half the debt

I know that's a joke, but in real life, what actually happens is that if you were married while in med school, they will get half the value of your medical degree.

 

[KEB]

Guys and Gals please bare with me! So Med school is started up and life's great. But I have a serious problem how do you all avoid gold diggers? Now that school has started and everyone from my home city knows that I am attending medical school thanks to my mother and grandmother all of these past EX's and people from school and college are coming out of the wood work and wanting to have a relationship. It's obioviosly because they have this strange idea that I will be rich and provide a good life for them. Also I'm not physically attracted to anyone in my classes and I feel like I need to stay home and study rather then go out and meet people! I'm just venting because it beyond upsets me that this is happening. I just want to find someone who doesn't care about my future occupation!

Accept that this is how the game is played. I hear women being called gold-diggers, but I never hear about men being called flesh-diggers. You say you want someone who doesn't care about your future occupation. I want someone who doesn't care that I gained sixty pounds, but for most men, that is not realistic. I am up front about this weight gain on eHarmony, and I am working on it, but I don't get offended when I don't get contacted by men, because I block people as well. Like the guy who listed his occupation as "in training to be an assistant produce manager." Men go for looks. Women go for education/money. Accept that this will be a collateral effect of the career you have chosen.

 

[Ophthoseidon]

Accept that this is how the game is played. I hear women being called gold-diggers, but I never hear about men being called flesh-diggers. You say you want someone who doesn't care about your future occupation. I want someone who doesn't care that I gained sixty pounds, but for most men, that is not realistic. I am up front about this weight gain on eHarmony, and I am working on it, but I don't get offended when I don't get contacted by men, because I block people as well. Like the guy who listed his occupation as "in training to be an assistant produce manager." Men go for looks. Women go for education/money. Accept that this will be a collateral effect of the career you have chosen.

Not that I'm on one side or the other but I don't think this analogy works. If a man divorces a woman he doesn't get half the flesh

 

[styphon]

I know that's a joke, but in real life, what actually happens is that if you were married while in med school, they will get half the value of your medical degree.

A medical degree is considered "enhanced earning capacity" which is a martial asset. If earned during the marriage, they may be entitled to half of the income you produce from having a medical degree.

 

[Porfirio]

My fiancée is richer than me (currently, and in the future with attending pay). Go find one of those.

 

[fancymylotus]

Guys and Gals please bare with me! So Med school is started up and life's great. But I have a serious problem how do you all avoid gold diggers? Now that school has started and everyone from my home city knows that I am attending medical school thanks to my mother and grandmother all of these past EX's and people from school and college are coming out of the wood work and wanting to have a relationship. It's obioviosly because they have this strange idea that I will be rich and provide a good life for them. Also I'm not physically attracted to anyone in my classes and I feel like I need to stay home and study rather then go out and meet people! I'm just venting because it beyond upsets me that this is happening. I just want to find someone who doesn't care about my future occupation!

Are you a fellow brownie?

 

[Stagg737]

Accept that this is how the game is played. I hear women being called gold-diggers, but I never hear about men being called flesh-diggers. You say you want someone who doesn't care about your future occupation. I want someone who doesn't care that I gained sixty pounds, but for most men, that is not realistic. I am up front about this weight gain on eHarmony, and I am working on it, but I don't get offended when I don't get contacted by men, because I block people as well. Like the guy who listed his occupation as "in training to be an assistant produce manager." Men go for looks. Women go for education/money. Accept that this will be a collateral effect of the career you have chosen.

Neither side has to accept that. I'd dump a person that was only (or mainly) into me for looks just as fast as I'd dump someone that was only there for the money. People can set whatever standards they want, and if they're upfront about what they're looking for, they can usually find someone that fits most of what they're looking for. Saying it's an unavoidable collateral effect is just a BS way of compartmentalizing everyone.

There's also a huge difference between caring about whether someone gains weight and divorcing them for it. I know plenty of people that wish their spouses weighed less, that doesn't mean they're going to divorce them because of just that. Even if they would, people don't know if their SO will gain weight, and they don't get anything out of divorcing them when it happens (other than they're single again). A gold-digger knows exactly what they're going for/getting into, and they know they'll still get money even if the relationship doesn't work out (which is sometimes planned that way). That can also go both ways, it might be more common for women to be gold-diggers, but I've seen enough day-time tv to know there's plenty of guys that are just in it for the money too.

 

[DokterMom]

Since you're a guy, cultivate some female friends of the platonic variety - friends you can talk about anything with. Nurture those friendships and learn what a 'real woman' is truly like, not the 'entertaining on best behavior' phony kind of stuff most gold-diggers will put out on dates. (And if you fall in love with one of those friends, treasure it.)

Have your female friends evaluate your girlfriends and really listen to what they say. Women can spot a gold-digger and don't like 'em any more than you do. They give all of us a bad name.

Don't be in a hurry to 'lock this one up' before she gets away. The best relationships take time to develop and you want to watch her behavior over time. It's easy to 'play nice' for a little while, but materialism, selfishness, greed and unkindness have a way of showing through if given the time. Look especially for unkindness to others, not to you. She'll be on her best behavior toward you; but the behavior she shows to others (especially the 'little people') is a more reliable indicator of the 'real' person.

Don't be a beauty *****. In other words, if your main asset is money and professional status and you're looking for a woman whose main asset is beauty and sex appeal, don't cry 'unfair!' if her values prove to be as shallow as yours. Look for someone who can bring more to the table than temporary beauty.

And lastly, do know what you're looking for in a life partner. Do you want a woman with a fulfilling life of her own? One who will not be miserable and lonely home alone while you're at work? If you want an equal partner, then be prepared to accommodate her legitimate career goals also. Or do you want a stay-at-home wife and mother who will make taking care of you her #1 priority? If so, don't begrudge her alimony in the event of a divorce, because sacrificing her own life to support yours costs her a viable economic future.

But seriously - The best way not to get taken by a gold-digger is to look for 'substance' rather than beauty in the women you date. Character ages well.

 

[Psai]

Since you're a guy, cultivate some female friends of the platonic variety - friends you can talk about anything with. Nurture those friendships and learn what a 'real woman' is truly like, not the 'entertaining on best behavior' phony kind of stuff most gold-diggers will put out on dates. (And if you fall in love with one of those friends, treasure it.)

Have your female friends evaluate your girlfriends and really listen to what they say. Women can spot a gold-digger and don't like 'em any more than you do. They give all of us a bad name.

Don't be in a hurry to 'lock this one up' before she gets away. The best relationships take time to develop and you want to watch her behavior over time. It's easy to 'play nice' for a little while, but materialism, selfishness, greed and unkindness have a way of showing through if given the time. Look especially for unkindness to others, not to you. She'll be on her best behavior toward you; but the behavior she shows to others (especially the 'little people') is a more reliable indicator of the 'real' person.

Don't be a beauty *****. In other words, if your main asset is money and professional status and you're looking for a woman whose main asset is beauty and sex appeal, don't cry 'unfair!' if her values prove to be as shallow as yours. Look for someone who can bring more to the table than temporary beauty.

And lastly, do know what you're looking for in a life partner. Do you want a woman with a fulfilling life of her own? One who will not be miserable and lonely home alone while you're at work? If you want an equal partner, then be prepared to accommodate her legitimate career goals also. Or do you want a stay-at-home wife and mother who will make taking care of you her #1 priority? If so, don't begrudge her alimony in the event of a divorce, because sacrificing her own life to support yours costs her a viable economic future.

But seriously - The best way not to get taken by a gold-digger is to look for 'substance' rather than beauty in the women you date. Character ages well.

You sound like an old person yolo

 

[DokterMom]

You sound like an old person yolo

I am. And I've learned a thing or two over the course of 'all those years'. But feel free to make your own mistakes --

 

[tyrsa]

But feel free to make your own mistakes --

"A smart person will learn from his mistakes, but a wise person will learn from other people's mistakes."

 

[Psai]

I dont make mistakes

 

[Eokpar02]

Guys and Gals please bare with me! So Med school is started up and life's great. But I have a serious problem how do you all avoid gold diggers? Now that school has started and everyone from my home city knows that I am attending medical school thanks to my mother and grandmother all of these past EX's and people from school and college are coming out of the wood work and wanting to have a relationship. It's obioviosly because they have this strange idea that I will be rich and provide a good life for them. Also I'm not physically attracted to anyone in my classes and I feel like I need to stay home and study rather then go out and meet people! I'm just venting because it beyond upsets me that this is happening. I just want to find someone who doesn't care about my future occupation!

Dude, if they are attractive bang the hell out of them. If they are dumb enough to think you will make any type of living as a doctor that is their own problem.

 

[tyrsa]

I'm just venting because it beyond upsets me that this is happening. I just want to find someone who doesn't care about my future occupation!

I understand where you're coming from and why you're upset, but this is SUCH A FIRST WORLD PROBLEM!!

 

[fancymylotus]

Dude, if they are attractive bang the hell out of them. If they are dumb enough to think you will make any type of living as a doctor that is their own problem.

Please OP do not follow this advice. This is how you create stage 5 clingers.

 

[SClENCE]

Marry someone who makes as much as you

 

[Goro]

Just tell them you're interested in whatever speciality is the worst paying, or maybe serving in the Public Health Service on an Indian Reservation, or in a prison, or, working with Doctors Without Borders in some godforsaken country.

That ought to weed them out pretty fast.

Just remember that there's a Jack for every Jill. I met mine at a scientific meeting.

Guys and Gals please bare with me! So Med school is started up and life's great. But I have a serious problem how do you all avoid gold diggers? Now that school has started and everyone from my home city knows that I am attending medical school thanks to my mother and grandmother all of these past EX's and people from school and college are coming out of the wood work and wanting to have a relationship. It's obioviosly because they have this strange idea that I will be rich and provide a good life for them. Also I'm not physically attracted to anyone in my classes and I feel like I need to stay home and study rather then go out and meet people! I'm just venting because it beyond upsets me that this is happening. I just want to find someone who doesn't care about my future occupation!

 

[fancymylotus]

Just tell them you're interested in whatever speciality is the worst paying, or maybe serving in the Public Health Service on an Indian Reservation, or in a prison, or, working with Doctors Without Borders in some godforsaken country.

That ought to weed them out pretty fast.

Just remember that there's a Jack for every Jill. I met mine at a scientific meeting.

Or an Aladdin for every Jasmine?

Your suggestion is a smart one though. OP do what @Goro said

 

[Stagg737]

Just tell them you're interested in whatever speciality is the worst paying, or maybe serving in the Public Health Service on an Indian Reservation, or in a prison, or, working with Doctors Without Borders in some godforsaken country.

That ought to weed them out pretty fast.

Just remember that there's a Jack for every Jill. I met mine at a scientific meeting.

If you're going to say that show pics though, I've met too many people that think 'global medicine' means a luxurious
experience in an exotic land...

 

[Goro]

Just mention Somalia, Afghanistan or Syria/Iraq.

If you're going to say that show pics though, I've met too many people that think 'global medicine' means a luxurious
experience in an exotic land...

 

[Stagg737]

Just mention Somalia, Afghanistan or Syria/Iraq.

Iraq would probably work, idk about the other ones though, I've met some reeeaaaaaally stupid people and the U.S. isn't exactly known for it's political or geographical prowess. The scariest one I met in person is a girl that was positive that Miami is a state. Even scarier was that she was a medical student...

Edit: Come to think of it, she was actually a gold-digger as well, since I remember her saying she only wanted to marry an ortho or neurosurgeon since they'd be making so much more than her.

 

[DocVapor]

Edit: Come to think of it, she was actually a gold-digger as well, since I remember her saying she only wanted to marry an ortho or neurosurgeon since they'd be making so much more than her.

Hmmm. Probably also because she knew what their hours would be, and thus she knew she would have plenty of time for her "extra curriculars" with her trainer, her masseuse, the neighbor, the UPS man, and her personal shopper.

 

[md-2020]

Iraq would probably work, idk about the other ones though, I've met some reeeaaaaaally stupid people and the U.S. isn't exactly known for it's political or geographical prowess. The scariest one I met in person is a girl that was positive that Miami is a state. Even scarier was that she was a medical student...

Several valedictorian 2350+ kids from my undergrad thought that Chicago was a state as well, because "it was on the SAT."

 

[Psai]

Hmmm. Probably also because she knew what their hours would be, and thus she knew she would have plenty of time for her "extra curriculars" with her trainer, her masseuse, the neighbor, the UPS man, and her personal shopper.

Lets be honest, no one gets with the ups man. I've been getting packages for years and havent yetseen a glimpse of him. Hes like a yeti

 

[Stagg737]

Several valedictorian 2350+ kids from my undergrad thought that Chicago was a state as well, because "it was on the SAT."

It's just scary that people who are supposedly that intelligent can actually be that dumb...

Lets be honest, no one gets with the ups man. I've been getting packages for years and havent yetseen a glimpse of him. Hes like a yeti

I thought I saw the truck once, then I realized I was probably just imagining things.

 

[NontradCA]

Just tell them you're interested in whatever speciality is the worst paying, or maybe serving in the Public Health Service on an Indian Reservation, or in a prison, or, working with Doctors Without Borders in some godforsaken country.

That ought to weed them out pretty fast.

Just remember that there's a Jack for every Jill. I met mine at a scientific meeting.

The doc I know working in the prison system is making 275/hr

 

[karayaa]

Disregard this.\

Because...?

 

[DocVapor]

Lets be honest, no one gets with the ups man. I've been getting packages for years and havent yetseen a glimpse of him. Hes like a yeti

I dunno. There was a Law and Order:SVU episode about a woman having an affair with some sort of delivery man. Maybe you are right about UPS, but clearly that sort of thing does happen if they made a whole show about it. Lol

 

[AvrgPreMedKid]

Accept that this is how the game is played. I hear women being called gold-diggers, but I never hear about men being called flesh-diggers. You say you want someone who doesn't care about your future occupation. I want someone who doesn't care that I gained sixty pounds, but for most men, that is not realistic. I am up front about this weight gain on eHarmony, and I am working on it, but I don't get offended when I don't get contacted by men, because I block people as well. Like the guy who listed his occupation as "in training to be an assistant produce manager." Men go for looks. Women go for education/money. Accept that this will be a collateral effect of the career you have chosen.

My kind of collateral effect.