SDN members see fewer ads and full resolution images. Join our non-profit community!

Good day - Bad day - EMS

Discussion in 'Pre-Hospital [ EMS ]' started by dgmedic, May 12, 2007.

  1. dgmedic

    dgmedic Member 7+ Year Member

    Jul 31, 2004
    From the internet...not mine. Neither confirm nor deny...just laugh (or be disgusted).

    How many have you done???

    1) Ever hid between buildings so the unit sent to the scene you're
    actually closer to doesn't see you.

    2) Took a 12-Lead on a 20 y/o hot sorority girl that you know full well is riding the Drama Llama.

    3) "Securely" immobilized the driver of a rear-ended vehicle who's
    screaming that he's going to be paralyzed by the Jaguar that just hit him at a whopping 4 mph.

    4) .Told the Pack Mule, er, third-rider that, yes, it IS necessary for
    him/her to carry in the jump bag, O2 bag, cardiac monitor, and
    front-line ACLS bag because the clipboard you carry is so much heavier because of all the responsibility.

    5) Nebulized Narcan to the sky-high heroin patient that refuses an IV because he knows what's in those syringes that come in the orange boxes.

    6) Stopped a patient's seizures with judicious administration of
    Normal saline therapy.

    7) Told a patient that you missed the line because they moved their arm.

    8) Started bilateral 14's or 16's on an "unconscious/unresponsive"
    patient on the transit bus that got rear-ended by a Dodge Neon.

    9) Cut loose with Nazi concentration camp-strength gas in the patient compartment and blamed it on "those old catalytic converters in these ambulances".

    10) Carefully transcribed a patient's foul-mouthed description of you, making sure to properly spell each curse word just to piss off QA/QC.

    11) Brought a patient into the ER with a perfectly out-lined boot
    print on their chest that, for some strange inexplicable reason, looks a lot your duty footwear.

    12) Accidentally pushed the promethazine through the port closest to the hub on a patient that you are transporting for the fifth time in a week for the same f**king nausea/vomiting complaint.

    13) Made the student sit on the bench seat so they can "practice their patient care skills" on the lower GI bleed patient while you sit in the captain's chair with a NRB on your face.

    14) Cured your own hang-over the company-supplied NaCl, D50, and Thiamine.

    15) Titrate the Narcan until you get to the ER, then push the last 1.5mg on the ramp.

    16) Have taken vital signs by only looking at your patient.

    17) Decided that naming drunks John or Jane Doe is too unoriginal and supplied your own, more…original names.

    18) Waited until the foul-mouthed drunk two feet away starts screaming obscenities before telling the Invisible Voice that you're

    19) Looked for reasons to initiate Acute Agitation protocols.

    20) Called for a second unit on a BS wreck with three patients and
    take-off with the minor walking wounded as soon as they show up to take the two 300 pound drunks in the other vehicle.

    21) Got written up for referring to a patient as a
    rooter/jake/skell/etc over the radio.

    22) Accidentally leaned on the air-horn just as that as**ole
    supervisor walks past the truck.

    23) Went into the sprint car of the aforementioned as**ole supervisor and turned off the battery switch, but turned the Whelan switch to "Phaser".

    24) Told firefighters that they were welcome to practice their IV
    skills on the frequent flyer that's in your truck for the second time
    that shift.

    25) Turned over your patient, BS'd with the hot RN, and finished your PCR before telling dispatch that you just arrived at the ER.

    26) Told the Invisible Voice that the "traffic is really heavy" so
    you'll be delayed to the call that's right around the corner that
    you're supposed to be sitting at, but the BP station three miles out of your zone gives you free coffee.

    27) Lean on the air horn going under the bridge that you know bums like to sleep under.

    28) Have no idea what your patient looks when you get to the ER
    because you never left the captain's seat.

    29) While transporting a worthless bag of skin, mention to your
    partner that "Gee, the roads really suck, don't they? Ahem, DON'T

    30) Your partner knows exactly what you mean without having to ask.

    31) "Hey! Look out for that dog!!"

    32) "Accidentally" repeatedly drive over the 2" high reflectors on the side of the highway because the as**ole partner you got stuck with tonight refuses to drive and spends your all-night posting shuffle trying to sleep in the passenger seat.

    33) Occasionally hit the "Alert" button on the patient compartment
    control panel, then act puzzled when your partner has a nervous
    break-down from the inexplicable screeching buzz in the cab that youknow "nothing" about. (This one is fun)

    34) Put ammonia inhalants in an SFM or NRB mask.

    35) Tell the psych patient that insists he's Jesus to please stop
    talking because you're actually Satan and he's pissing you off.

    36) Gave another EMT/medics name to a pissed off bystander that said they were calling your boss to complain. Then acted like an as**ole even more.

    37) Rolled up your partner's window and hit the window lock just
    before you cut loose with the aftermath of bad Taco Bell. Then laugh.

    38) Make a point of being the person pushing the stretcher into the truck as you load that hot sorority chick in the skirt.

    39) Ever gave a pre-arrival report and told the ER that your 84 year old female is suffering from Grand Ma seizures.

    40) Exaggerated the ambulance bill just to convince a patient that
    they really don't need to go to the ER.

    41) Convince a patient in the ghetto that if they wanted the best care possible, they should be transported to the nicer hospital that just happens to be twenty miles away, up in the slow zones.

    42) Catch yourself asking a patient if they "got the blood", "got the sugars", or "bin vomiking".

    43) Gave a patient bus fare out of your own pocket. Not because you want to be nice, but because a buck fifty is worth not taking their nasty ass and their rug rats to the ER for a forty-eight hour check-up from the LAST time you took her.

    44) Gave a patient a pen and a PCR and told them to put in their own information.

    45) Told a hot patient to "come by the station later tonight so we can make sure you're doing alright".

    46) Stuck your cell phone out the passenger-side window while you're going code because your buddy's voicemail just picked up. (This is fun, too)

    47) Climbed out of the truck on a call for a BS regular and asked the patient "What the f**k is your problem THIS time?"

    48) Played Ghetto Apartment Cockroach Bingo with your partner.

    49) Went onto a porn site and entered your supervisor's email and name as your log-in information. Then check "Yes, please send me offers for merchandise" and "Yes, please share my information".

    50) Got in trouble by your company because you got these cool bumper stickers from your buddy overseas that say "Stay Back 100 Meters Or You Will Be Shot" and they somehow ended up on all of the ambulances.

    51) [I will add] - On a 3am radio report...when you think no one is really give the low down on a mild stomach ache and classify it as a "Drama Activation" and have the surgical team meet you in the room. As your face turns red, you look at the triage nurse and say "DRAMA...D...DRAMA...NOT T...TRAUMA..." The trauma surgeon laughs and says..."funny, but you woke me up sh*thead; give it a consult the next time so I can send someone else."
  2. SDN Members don't see this ad. About the ads.
  3. Glorified

    Glorified 2+ Year Member

    May 6, 2007
    haha, thanks for the chuckles. being a student I can relate to those jokes.
  4. MedicFL

    MedicFL 5+ Year Member

    Feb 13, 2007
    Hmm the funny thing is that it is all true....#14 LR D50, Thiamine is the best way to kill a hang over...
  5. chimichanga

    chimichanga misunderstood 5+ Year Member

    Oct 21, 2006
    Medics have phenergan in their drug box?

    Not in AZ
  6. emedpa

    emedpa GlobalDoc 10+ Year Member

    Aug 25, 2001
    Taking an Away team....

    and inapsine and reglan......
  7. chimichanga

    chimichanga misunderstood 5+ Year Member

    Oct 21, 2006
    who gives inapsine anymore...

    i miss it

    damn black box warnings

    that stuff was good for almost anything that ailed ya...
  8. jbar

    jbar Senior Member 10+ Year Member

    Dec 18, 2005
    My service got phenergan in CO just before I left last year
  9. emedpa

    emedpa GlobalDoc 10+ Year Member

    Aug 25, 2001
    Taking an Away team....
    our local ems service can give it if they have folks on the monitor while they do. it's actually less of a hassle for them to give it in the field than for the e.d. providers to give it. we still stock it in the e.d. but almost never use it as our protocol is a baseline ekg before giving it and 30 min of monitored observation after. it turns a fast track pt into one needing a monitored bed. big drag. most of the stuff I really liked inapsine for before I use ativan for now....or reglan+benadryl+ativan.....
  10. nyemt2005

    nyemt2005 2+ Year Member

    May 8, 2007
    in our region in New York they're trying to do away with Phenergan because it can really do some damage if you give it the wrong way, so they have now introduced Zofran as a substitute.
  11. dgmedic

    dgmedic Member 7+ Year Member

    Jul 31, 2004
    Hadol for the turkeys...zofran for the tummies for us.....or compazine
  12. Vee

    Vee 10+ Year Member

    Dec 13, 2006
    New England
    so true. it's a lifesaver :laugh:

Share This Page