Have you ever felt....

[MexicanDr]

Advertisement - Members don't see this ad

A lot of times while I am on Facebook or simply here on SDN and see people younger than me or my age in medical school already, it just makes me feel very depressed and gives me a sense of anxiety.

I mean, a lot of things that happened in my life were unpredictable and could not have done a single thing to prevent them, but there are other things that I could have done different, and that makes me mad and feel upset!

Have you ever felt like this? I mean, how do you cope and deal with these feelings of frustrations and regret?

 

[Micahfeld]

All you can do is look toward the future and appreciate the experiences that you have had. I'm pretty sure that everyone will at some time reflect on some part of their past and wish that they had made different decisions.

We have no power to influence the past, but we can take action toward our future. Don't live with regret for your past failures; live in anticipation of your future success!

 

[sgtbrushes]

Sure, it frustrates me a little. BUT, when I see traditional students talking about how hard undergraduate courses are, I proudly smile. Undergraduate course aren't hard. Period. They may be time-consuming, though, and I promise you us non-trads know quite a bit more about time management (i.e., sacrifice leisure time for study time).

 

[agirl]

deleted

A lot of times while I am on Facebook or simply here on SDN and see people younger than me or my age in medical school already, it just makes me feel very depressed and gives me a sense of anxiety.

I mean, a lot of things that happened in my life were unpredictable and could not have done a single thing to prevent them, but there are other things that I could have done different, and that makes me mad and feel upset!

Have you ever felt like this? I mean, how do you cope and deal with these feelings of frustrations and regret?

 

[Kneige]

A lot of times while I am on Facebook or simply here on SDN and see people younger than me or my age in medical school already, it just makes me feel very depressed and gives me a sense of anxiety.

I mean, a lot of things that happened in my life were unpredictable and could not have done a single thing to prevent them, but there are other things that I could have done different, and that makes me mad and feel upset!

Have you ever felt like this? I mean, how do you cope and deal with these feelings of frustrations and regret?

I can definitely commiserate with you, OP. But from the experiences that you've had-good or bad, you've grown wiser, more mature and you're also more sure than a recent college graduate about your career choice now. I'm sure all of those things will put you at an advantage. Don't feel bad, your time will come. And when it does, you'll cope much better than those younger kids and it would be even more rewarding.

 

[QofQuimica]

A lot of times while I am on Facebook or simply here on SDN and see people younger than me or my age in medical school already, it just makes me feel very depressed and gives me a sense of anxiety.

I mean, a lot of things that happened in my life were unpredictable and could not have done a single thing to prevent them, but there are other things that I could have done different, and that makes me mad and feel upset!

Have you ever felt like this? I mean, how do you cope and deal with these feelings of frustrations and regret?

I focus on the cup being half-filled rather than half-empty. Probably all of us have things that we might have changed if we could go back and live our lives over again. But the thing is, for every door that closes, others open. I would not be the person I am today, nor the physician I am about to be tomorrow, if I had not had the experiences I had yesterday. I see things differently, I experience things differently, *I* am different. This difference affects not only how I see myself, but also how others see me.

Here's an example. One of my premed students who I had taught in gen chem and organic chem applied to med school, and got an interview at a prestigious OOS med school. When he got back, I asked him how the interview had gone. He told me how intimidated he felt, because everyone else at his interview day was from some big-name school, and here he was coming from a (relatively) no-name university in Florida. You have to understand that this kid was a stellar applicant: perfect GPA, in the honors program, good ECs, very mature. Of course, I reassured him that he belonged at that interview just as much as everyone else did, and in the end he got multiple acceptances to med school. Today he is a resident.

The following year, I was interviewing at some of those same big-name schools with those same students who attended big-name schools. Like my former student, my degrees were all from respectable but not big-name schools. However, when I was talking with the other interviewees, I was astonished to discover that some of them said *they* were intimidated by *me* because I have a PhD. It made me laugh, because I don't think of myself as particularly intimidating, and also because it reminded me about how much everyone struggles with their insecurities and doubts. No matter how qualified you are, how pedigreed, how accomplished, how deserving you are, you will meet people on SDN, on the interview trail, in life in general who will make you stop and go: wow, just wow. But at the same time, other people will be meeting you and doing the exact same thing. 🙂

 

[tigress]

I understand where you're coming from. Mostly at this stage I just envy the med students because I'd like to be there right now. I'm impatient 🙂

I think for the most part I'm very glad that I waited to go to school. I have 3 great kids, and I think that I will be such a better doctor as a result of my life experience. Also, I think I will handle med school much better than I would have if I'd gone when I was younger. Looking back on how little perspective I had 4 years ago, I'm really sort of surprised. I've changed a lot, and while it's been a rough few years in my life, I am a better person for it.

We all bring our own set of circumstances. IMO we can only learn from our past and our experience and try to be better as a result.

 

[20minutes]

A lot of times while I am on Facebook or simply here on SDN and see people younger than me or my age in medical school already, it just makes me feel very depressed and gives me a sense of anxiety.

I mean, a lot of things that happened in my life were unpredictable and could not have done a single thing to prevent them, but there are other things that I could have done different, and that makes me mad and feel upset!

Have you ever felt like this? I mean, how do you cope and deal with these feelings of frustrations and regret?

Nope. My non-trad status is an asset not a liability. Everything worked out in the end and I know I'm much better for it. I have a good friend who's an anesthesiologist at Beth Israel and I'm super proud of her but that just wasn't my path. I'll get there eventually and have no regrets about taking the crooked path. Straight lines are boring anyways.

 

[jinx520]

I used to entertain those types of thoughts until a friend of mine asked "if you could go back and change one thing in your life, what would you change?" I thought really hard about it, and even though I've been through a whole lot of very bad situations, I wouldn't change a thing b/c I've learned and grown through each of those experiences. Even though my life experiences don't necessarily look good on paper, it shows in how I carry myself. I KNOW that I can get through anything, because I've already gotten through so much.

I was given a really good piece of advice by a seargent of mine when I was in the Army. Learn to develop "tunnel vision" to get you through the rough times. Modify your vision so that the only thing that you can see is your objective in front of you, and let everything else go out of focus. Sometimes you'll have days where all you can do is focus on putting one foot in front of the other, that's okay. Expect it. That's how life is, and the sooner we recognize it the sooner we can appreciate what we've already accomplished and how nice of a place the world really is, once the smoke clears and we are ready to go back to "regular vision" again.

 

[Canabanana]

Have you ever felt like this? I mean, how do you cope and deal with these feelings of frustrations and regret?

I dont have those feeling. Too have those feeling meant that I did something wrong along the way and that i should be ashamed of not going straight to med school after undergrad. What i did after UG made me who i am today and i probably would not be applying if it was not for those experiences. Some days i wish i kept all my text books so i could study now but then i realize i would have had to move those books for the past ten years? My point is just study hard, do well and look forward you must be doing something right!

 

[AlexxusMichelle]

Sometimes I see it and I get discouraged, but I think about all the life experience I have already. Undergad isnt hard at all, I agree. After 6 yrs in, Ive partied and drank enough for 2 lifetimes. Im over it now. I think when it comes down to studying or going to a party, Ill be studying and the peer pressure wont even be an issue bc 1. i never really gave into it anyway and 2. im past that part of my life.

Im not going to lie though... saying i was born in 1993 instead of 1983 when people ask me is pretty tempting.

 

[BennieBlanco]

A lot of times while I am on Facebook or simply here on SDN and see people younger than me or my age in medical school already, it just makes me feel very depressed and gives me a sense of anxiety.

I mean, a lot of things that happened in my life were unpredictable and could not have done a single thing to prevent them, but there are other things that I could have done different, and that makes me mad and feel upset!

Have you ever felt like this? I mean, how do you cope and deal with these feelings of frustrations and regret?

NOOOOO! Do not compare yourself to others. The second you want to start being someone else is the second you lose all the unique things that make you YOU.

Let us look at a handicap person with no legs. The ones that are happy and doing well don't go around thinking how they don't have legs! They think about what they can do and who they can impact positively. Not about what they lack.

If you do want to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to the children in Africa or India. The ones that are either starving or the ones that work 70 hrs a week in sweatshops. Compare yourself to the blind, the homeless, the weak, the lonely. Friend, you are doing pretty well if you live in America.

You are unique. The goal in life isn't to get an MD at a certain age. The goal in life is to live well by serving the people around you and being an exceptional person. This can be done at any age and in any career (even in school).

Giving generous exceptional person (MD/DO/anything) > selfish unenthusiastic unsatisfied person (MD/DO/anything)

Notice there is no age in that equation!

There is no reason to regret. Life is made up of HOW you live, and NOT what career you are doing at the moment. There are homeless people who live better lives than some wealthy people (true story). Your quality of life isn't a paycheck or a career, it is how you live moment to moment. This is the biggest misconception, you will see unsatisfied docs coming online all the time talking about how bad everything is yet they have what you are asking for.

Don't fall for the bait.

Life today is either as good or as bad as it gets.

Your past decisions are in the past. Human beings learn and grow, this is life. If you take your experiences and learn from them you will be better. You may end up appreciating your career more than others who got what they wanted right away. Then you will enjoy your life more than that person.

[/Motivation rant]

lol

 

[BennieBlanco]

It made me laugh, because I don't think of myself as particularly intimidating

😕😕

I am very intimidated by you.

 

[jinx520]

Ooh, Bennie, who's that guy in your last post? He's cute.

I hope I haven't just become a cougar.

 

[BennieBlanco]

Ooh, Bennie, who's that guy in your last post? He's cute.

I hope I haven't just become a cougar.

Rowr!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-n9Zdf19-c

 

[MexicanDr]

NOOOOO! Do not compare yourself to others. The second you want to start being someone else is the second you lose all the unique things that make you YOU.

Let us look at a handicap person with no legs. The ones that are happy and doing well don't go around thinking how they don't have legs! They think about what they can do and who they can impact positively. Not about what they lack.

If you do want to compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to the children in Africa or India. The ones that are either starving or the ones that work 70 hrs a week in sweatshops. Compare yourself to the blind, the homeless, the weak, the lonely. Friend, you are doing pretty well if you live in America.

You are unique. The goal in life isn't to get an MD at a certain age. The goal in life is to live well by serving the people around you and being an exceptional person. This can be done at any age and in any career (even in school).

Giving generous exceptional person (MD/DO/anything) > selfish unenthusiastic unsatisfied person (MD/DO/anything)

Notice there is no age in that equation!

There is no reason to regret. Life is made up of HOW you live, and NOT what career you are doing at the moment. There are homeless people who live better lives than some wealthy people (true story). Your quality of life isn't a paycheck or a career, it is how you live moment to moment. This is the biggest misconception, you will see unsatisfied docs coming online all the time talking about how bad everything is yet they have what you are asking for.

Don't fall for the bait.

Life today is either as good or as bad as it gets.

Your past decisions are in the past. Human beings learn and grow, this is life. If you take your experiences and learn from them you will be better. You may end up appreciating your career more than others who got what they wanted right away. Then you will enjoy your life more than that person.

[/Motivation rant]

lol

Thanks a lot everyone, thanks a lot really!!! 🙂

Bennie, that was great, thanks man!

GRACIAS!!!😀

 

[QofQuimica]

😕😕

I am very intimidated by you.

You are evidently not intimidated enough that it stops you from trying to insult my intelligence.

 

[calimed214]

Ooh, Bennie, who's that guy in your last post? He's cute.

I hope I haven't just become a cougar.

The guy is Tony Robbins -- a motivational speaker and self-help writer. He's around 50, I believe, so unless you're 60+, I'd say you're safe from cougar status.

 

[futureboy]

All you can do is look toward the future and appreciate the experiences that you have had. I'm pretty sure that everyone will at some time reflect on some part of their past and wish that they had made different decisions.

We have no power to influence the past, but we can take action toward our future. Don't live with regret for your past failures; live in anticipation of your future success!

Well said!

 

[futureboy]

I was given a really good piece of advice by a seargent of mine when I was in the Army. Learn to develop "tunnel vision" to get you through the rough times. Modify your vision so that the only thing that you can see is your objective in front of you, and let everything else go out of focus. Sometimes you'll have days where all you can do is focus on putting one foot in front of the other, that's okay.

This is good advice, and sounds a lot like the sports mindset where you take everything one game (or even one play) at a time. You can't concentrate on past mistakes, just the task at hand. In basketball, for example, you have to be able to believe you will make your shot, even if you've missed 10 in a row.

 

[Nasrudin]

No offense. Well sure some offense to the Tony Robbinites. If the question is have you ever...? Then a solid f@ck yes from me.

I can remember slogging my way through a ED shift. Pushing beds all around the hospital. Backbreaking work. Especially when the wheels don't work. Which is always. So I'm in the elevator pushing this bed by myself with this new med student who is accompanying me to ICU because the patient is on the monitor. Dude is all preppy. Harvard grad. Looks like he's never done a day of physical labor in his life. Prissy little mf'er. Well anyway here I am struggling like hell to move this bed and this dude. Face in the chart doesn't even put a hand on the bed to help me steer.

Frustrated. I wanted to kick that mf'er @ss.

How did I deal with it.

I got up at 5 in the morning and opened the library. Now that I'm on my way It's no longer frustrating to see candy@ss little youngsters in positions over me. Cause now I'm gonna learn whatever I can from what they know.

Frustration can be taken to the field. It can be useful. As a bonecrushing hit on upcoming test. That **** feels good.

 

[calimed214]

Well sure some offense to the Tony Robbinites.

I hope you're not including me in that category. That guy is a douche.

And 👍 to the rest of your post.

 

[BennieBlanco]

I hope you're not including me in that category. That guy is a douche.

And 👍 to the rest of your post.

lol. Tonny Robbins is a salesman and a very good one at that. Find me another guy who gets paid $30 million a year just to talk to people. If that isn't sales then I don't know what is!

I'm not saying that everyone needs to be happy go lucky. Nor am I advocating Tony Robbins (bad joke I guess). What I am saying is that in life we have choices, to look at what is going right or what is going wrong.

Things you likely have:



Health
Cognitive function
Muscular function
Family (hopefully)
Friends
Freedom (high price)
Opportunity
Ability to become a physician
(don't live in Africa / India)

I'm sure you could find more.


Things you don't have:


not a doctor at the age I really wanted
not a billionaire
etc.

I'm sure we could fill that 2nd list but it isn't worth my time.

Gratitude > Frustration

PLUS if you want to be great you can't compare yourself to others. Lets even say you were better than everyone you compared yourself to, then you will lose your drive thinking "hey, I'm better than these people". Tiger woods didn't become the best by comparing himself to the people he played with. He set the standard.

Glory!

 

[jinx520]

No offense. Well sure some offense to the Tony Robbinites. If the question is have you ever...? Then a solid f@ck yes from me.

I can remember slogging my way through a ED shift. Pushing beds all around the hospital. Backbreaking work. Especially when the wheels don't work. Which is always. So I'm in the elevator pushing this bed by myself with this new med student who is accompanying me to ICU because the patient is on the monitor. Dude is all preppy. Harvard grad. Looks like he's never done a day of physical labor in his life. Prissy little mf'er. Well anyway here I am struggling like hell to move this bed and this dude. Face in the chart doesn't even put a hand on the bed to help me steer.

Frustrated. I wanted to kick that mf'er @ss.

How did I deal with it.

I got up at 5 in the morning and opened the library. Now that I'm on my way It's no longer frustrating to see candy@ss little youngsters in positions over me. Cause now I'm gonna learn whatever I can from what they know.

Frustration can be taken to the field. It can be useful. As a bonecrushing hit on upcoming test. That **** feels good.

Don't ever let any one treat you like that, Nas, it doesn't matter what school he went to or if he's an MS and you're a peon. If the patient's heavy, politely ask for help with a smile on your face and a "boy, what a douche you are" tone in your voice. He isn't better than you just 'cause he started earlier/went to head-up-my-*ss school or is further in his training that you. You'd be surprised at how quickly that makes people jump to help, and if they don't, a little "boy, your mother must be so proud of you" would finish the job. That's another benefit of being a non-trad in my book--I'm practically a senior citizen, show some manners, fool!

But I do agree that frustration can (and should) be taken to the field.

RE: Tony Robbins: At first, I thought "EEWWWW!!!"

But some things get better with age.

Like us!!!

P.S. I sincerely thank the Lord I have not yet moved to Cougar Town.

 

[Nasrudin]

My choice of words was to reflect what frustration feels like. Not a prescription for how to conduct myself.

We tend towards the Pedantic. And not enough of what the person is feeling. Excessively it would seem from the general tone of discussion. You all are funny, intelligent, and seasoned people. Nothing personal. Just my input to the flow of conversation.

 

[jinx520]

it's just that you always make me laugh, Nas, so I can't stand the thought of that little snot making you feel bad.

 

[Nasrudin]

it's just that you always make me laugh, Nas, so I can't stand the thought of that little snot making you feel bad.

Thanks chica. The truth is. These characters are somewhat embellished to suit my own purposes. Comic book style revenge. Against as you say. Snot nosed little doc's who tend to see the rest of us as the backdrop to their own TV medical drama.

I am saying to OP to consider casting the obstacles as foes to be defeated. Somewhat real somewhat your own creation. They can be dark and ugly monsters. But you face them in whatever form you concoct.

These victories are born of guts and imagination. Not from Hallmark quotes.

 

[NTF]

If you're asking if you're alone in feeling frustrated sometimes, of course you're not. I think all of us who are older than the average bear succumb to it from time to time. But unless feeling sh*tty all the time is how you best motivate yourself, best not to nurture those frustrations. Cuz, it won't stop with acceptance. You'll meet residents younger than you, chief residents younger than you, attendings younger than you and so on and so forth.

As long as you're making progress towards your goal, that's what's important. Don't let what other people are doing distract you or rob you of enjoying the path you're on.

 

[20minutes]

victories are born of guts and imagination. Not from Hallmark quotes.

Awesome Hallmark quote 😀

 

[Nasrudin]

Awesome Hallmark quote 😀

I see your point. I should've added a ..."...than a mf'er." Just to avoid sounding like that.

 

[Nasrudin]

One more thing before I go fight crime.

It's not that I disagree with the essential truth of the serenity prayer. It's just that it doesn't do too much for the nerd gladiator.

In this field of battle. Fire in the belly. Will to win. Even some pissed offity. Is more useful. Once we get over the hump. Then we sing kumbaya. I'll be right there with you on the left hand side.

For now. Be frustrated. Throw yourself against the bars. Sling your own ****. Whatever it takes.

 

[BennieBlanco]

One more thing before I go fight crime.

It's not that I disagree with the essential truth of the serenity prayer. It's just that it doesn't do too much for the nerd gladiator.

In this field of battle. Fire in the belly. Will to win. Even some pissed offity. Is more useful. Once we get over the hump. Then we sing kumbaya. I'll be right there with you on the left hand side.

For now. Be frustrated. Throw yourself against the bars. Sling your own ****. Whatever it takes.

You don't know the power of the darkside

 

[BennieBlanco]

You are evidently not intimidated enough that it stops you from trying to insult my intelligence.

Q rules with an iron fist!