Have you ever had a letter writer say no?

[spade92]

I know it's ideal to ask for a strong letter of recommendation when asking someone, so when you asked, has anyone ever said no?

What was your relationship like with that person? Why do you think they said no?

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[Frazier]

It's safe to say if they said "no", they actually did you a great favor.

 

[neusu]

It's safe to say if they said "no", they actually did you a great favor.

Agreed. I they said no they likely didn't know you well enough to write a meaningful letter, or, didn't think you earned a letter. In either case it's better to have the opportunity to have someone else write a strong letter than to get a luke-warm or negative letter.

 

[spade92]

No one said anything to me yet. I sincerely do hope if one feels they can't write me a strong letter, they would say no.

I'm just wondering, do people usually outright say no? Or is it more common to receive a bad letter of recommendation?

 

[Spydra]

I have had a potential letter writer indirectly tell me no. It was a site where I volunteered for 2 years under her supervision and she was always raving about what a great job I was doing with the clients and paperwork. I did not ask her for a letter for graduate applications, but more to have in my file for future jobs/internships. I would not have been offended if she had just directly told me no, but instead she stalled and then avoided me for months. I finally let it go as I have plenty of other glowing letters in my file and have moved on to other volunteer projects. Well I bumped into her recently and she actually brought up that letter and said she felt bad about not writing it, but she was busy and felt it was a job better suited for the director. Mind you the director barely knew my name, hardly saw me, and never once actually supervised me doing anything or assigned me any tasks. This woman did that which is why it made sense to have her write a letter for me. Thank heavens this wasn't for applications otherwise she might have missed deadlines or said something less than favorable.

 

[FindMeOnTheLinks]

I had one say no. It was a non-science professor in a very department at my school. She was very actively trying to recruit more students to take classes in the department, and approached me more than once about it. I enjoyed the course but did not have room in a tight course plan so I had to kind of say no to her. Because of that, and the fact that I asked her almost a year after the course, she said she could not write me a letter (despite the fact that I received an A in her class). Generally, if a potential letter writer says no, they're helping you out a ton. Nothing worse than a bad letter.

 

[On Eagle's Wings]

I had one letter writer say no because he said he did not feel like he knew me well enough to write a strong letter. I had worked with him for a summer in the medical mission field, but he ultimately did not feel like he knew me well enough to write me a letter.

Another potential letter writer knew me really well, but declined as he did not think he was qualified to write the letter. Never mind the fact he has written military academy letters of rec and gotten several other people into medical school. He simply told me he thought I could get people with more credentials to write an even better letter.

By saying no, these letter writers saved me from getting sub-par letters. My request to them had the qualifier that they should only write me a letter if they felt they could 100% write a very strong letter, so I am glad people paid attention to that detail and declined if they decided they could not.

 

[f4reignbeauty]

In the past, I had a professor who told me it would be best to ask another professor for a LOR. Was I offended? No, because I understood the reasoning behind his response. He thought it would be better for me to obtain a letter from a professor who I had better connections with and received a better grade in their course. In the end, I received three strong science letters from faculty members who I had known for 4+ years, and who were excited to write those letters for me.

 

[lessthanjimmy]

I had probably about 7 or 8 professors either not give me a response, tell me no, or tell me they wouldn't write me a good letter. These are professors I thought I had a good rapport with.

 

[IlDestriero]

"It would probably be better if you ask someone else."

 

[spade92]

I totally agree that it's a better idea if they say no.

I was just wondering if it was more common for them to say no or to go ahead and write a bad lor.

 

[Dr. Death]

I was looking for shadowing experiences and had a typed letter of intent stating "I want to become a physician and would like to shadow so and so regularly and if things work out get a LOR." The place I shadowed at said "He doesn't write LOR unless he knows you personally" I asked him in person and he wrote me a great LOR. Glad I didn't listen to the office manager.

 

[Styrene]

I collect letters with Interfolio. One professor I asked agreed to write me a letter, but she never uploaded it, and I never heard from her again, and she never responded to any more of my emails. I took two classes with her and earned A+s in both.

9 months later, the letter suddenly appeared on my Interfolio account. Should I use it?

 

[hoihaie]

I collect letters with Interfolio. One professor I asked agreed to write me a letter, but she never uploaded it, and I never heard from her again, and she never responded to any more of my emails. I took two classes with her and earned A+s in both.

9 months later, the letter suddenly appeared on my Interfolio account. Should I use it?

see if you school's premed advisers will let you send the letter to them and have them judge whether the letter is good or not without telling you the content

 

[swolebrah]

Yeah, had a doc tell me no because he didn't know me well enough. This is a long time ago when I first started shadowing...glad he said that because a bland LOR would have been no help .

 

[Law2Doc]

I had one professor tell me he didn't feel he knew me well enough and that the letter would basically just say I got a good grade in his class. I opted to get another letter writer. It's best to choose people who know you and can talk you up.

There are valid reasons professors might not want to write a strong letter about everyone. One of my law professors definitely had some explaining to do when he gave a glowing recommendation to a guy who was later convicted of some pretty significant crimes and wasn't in fact the wonderful person he described in his letter. Recommendations aren't really things that ought to be handed out like candy.

 

[PatrickStarMDPHD]

One of my prospective LOR writers flat-out ignored a couple of my emails regarding it. They had no problem responding to my emails when it was about something else. No problem though, I would not want a bad LOR in my file.

 

[The Real SVB]

I totally agree that it's a better idea if they say no.

I was just wondering if it was more common for them to say no or to go ahead and write a bad lor.

Are you still wondering after all these posts? No one's out to screw you, damn, calm down.

 

[Goro]

As mentioned here several times, that major reason is that they don't know the person well enough. We, as writers, want to do a good job, not a lackluster one.

Moral of the story: don't take it personally.


I've only had to turn down people twice in my career as a faculty member.

It is extremely rare for someone to actually write a bad LOR. Lukewarm ones are more common. ie. "spade92 was my student in my rigorous Anatomy class and he received a B"....and that's all!

Only once have I ever written a bad LOR, and that's for someone I felt had no business going to med school. One other time, when I was a postdoc, a woman was a grad student in my lab mentioned that she might ask me for a LOR...this woman was an absolute snake...really vicious. I told her "Of course I can!"

She never asked and too bad; I was looking forward to trashing her.

I know it's ideal to ask for a strong letter of recommendation when asking someone, so when you asked, has anyone ever said no?

What was your relationship like with that person? Why do you think they said no?

 

[mimelim]

I had one professor tell me he didn't feel he knew me well enough and that the letter would basically just say I got a good grade in his class. I opted to get another letter writer. It's best to choose people who know you and can talk you up.

There are valid reasons professors might not want to write a strong letter about everyone. One of my law professors definitely had some explaining to do when he gave a glowing recommendation to a guy who was later convicted of some pretty significant crimes and wasn't in fact the wonderful person he described in his letter. Recommendations aren't really things that ought to be handed out like candy.

Probably matters a lot less for undergrad or medical school, but certainly for residency, recommending someone means something. If you turn out to be a crappy investment on the part of residency, it hurts the letter writer's rep.

 

[AgentMay]

As mentioned here several times, that major reason is that they don't know the person well enough. We, as writers, want to do a good job, not a lackluster one.

Moral of the story: don't take it personally.


I've only had to turn down people twice in my career as a faculty member.

It is extremely rare for someone to actually write a bad LOR. Lukewarm ones are more common. ie. "spade92 was my student in my rigorous Anatomy class and he received a B"....and that's all!

Only once have I ever written a bad LOR, and that's for someone I felt had no business going to med school. One other time, when I was a postdoc, a woman was a grad student in my lab mentioned that she might ask me for a LOR...this woman was an absolute snake...really vicious. I told her "Of course I can!"

She never asked and too bad; I was looking forward to trashing her.

If you don't mind, can you elaborate on why you had written a bad LOR for the student instead of declining them a LOR in the first place? It never made sense to me how someone would go the whole 9-yard to write someone a bad LOR.

 

[NeuResurgens]

If they say no, you dodge a bullet. Too many professors will agree to do letters and then write a mediocre letter that ends up hurting the applicant more than helping.

 

[Goro]

The person was extremely irresponsible; as I also mentioned, she had no business even thinking about a medical career.

Keep in mind that this was so extreme it was the only time I've ever done that. "La Serpiente" (as my Mexican friend and I used to call her) from my post doc lab would have only been the second.

If you don't mind, can you elaborate on why you had written a bad LOR for the student instead of declining them a LOR in the first place? It never made sense to me how someone would go the whole 9-yard to write someone a bad LOR.