Having a girlfriend and being pre-med

[ur2l8]

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Hey guys,

I was wondering on your thoughts on having a girlfriend and being pre-med. I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her). Anyways, it's pretty lonely studying by yourself, and you can't help but seeing all these happy people on facebook and such (most of my friends are in relationships) and it kinda sucks being 9th wheel, lol.

Have any of you guys successfully gotten through undergrad with a girlfriend and gotten into med school? Any thoughts on the subject? Thanks.

 

[Sesom]

She's Just Not That Into You.

 

[442216]

I'm only a freshman pre-med, but for what it's worth my advice is to never miss out on anything based on being in pre-med.

Whether you are pre-med, in med school, a resident, or an actual doctor, you will always be busy and always have to strike balances between your time. You can't sit around and let life pass you by because you need good grades...Besides, even if you are in a relationship, be a strong person and let the other person know that you can't devote all your time to them, and they should be understanding.

Oh, and about studying "lonely"? NEVER study with a girl...especially a girlfriend...

My 2 cents, at least.

 

[sliceofbread136]

Balancing the two is not hard to do. I suspect you are looking for an excuse to stay in your comfort zone.

 

[ur2l8]

Oh, and about studying "lonely"? NEVER study with a girl...especially a girlfriend...

My 2 cents, at least.

Haha, don't worry, I don't study with girls. Maybe I can find some free time eventually...it'd be nice to know other people don't have much time on their hands either XD.

 

[ur2l8]

Balancing the two is not hard to do. I suspect you are looking for an excuse to stay in your comfort zone.

I'm not looking for an excuse--and I'm sure balancing the two had been done numerous times before. Just trying to wager how tough it'd be. Comfort zone...blechhh.

 

[MilkmanAl]

You should be able to balance school and your personal life. If you can't, you should probably reevaluate your study habits and try to become more efficient. Look at it this way: things are only going to get harder and more time-consuming from now on. You're looking at being single for the next 7-15 years, depending on where you are in school and what residency you choose, if you don't fix it.

 

[sliceofbread136]

I'm not looking for an excuse--and I'm sure balancing the two had been done numerous times before. Just trying to wager how tough it'd be. Comfort zone...blechhh.

Its pretty easy to slip into a comfort zone, and its hard to get out of. It's very possible that your mind came up with "I'm not sure I have time" excuse just to keep you from taking a chance. Just something to think about.

And if you do end up in a relationship, just set boundaries and make it clear that your grades are important. If that doesn't work out then dump her.

 

[TriagePreMed]

As a post-bacc, I got involved in a relationship. Did grades suffer and what not? Sure. Would I do it all over again even knowing that relationship didn't work out? Absolutely. I'd rather take chances in life and experience new things than really make my life only about going into medical school. Of course, this is a balance thing at the end of the day. Had my GPA dropped that semester of a 3.5, I would have panicked.

 

[ur2l8]

Yeah you're probably right. Sometimes you can't see what's right in front of you. Thanks for the input

 

[ur2l8]

You should be able to balance school and your personal life. If you can't, you should probably reevaluate your study habits and try to become more efficient. Look at it this way: things are only going to get harder and more time-consuming from now on. You're looking at being single for the next 7-15 years, depending on where you are in school and what residency you choose, if you don't fix it.

That's a great point--better get this fixed this semester!

 

[nisarg2010]

I actually was asking myself this same question last semester. I came to the same conclusions that many before me have offered and I finally decided to go after a girl I had liked for a while. It worked out great for me. One of the reasons that it worked out well for me is that my girlfriend is a dedicated prelaw student. Both of us being very aware of our own and each others plans allows us to coexist well together. For example, we have a "date night" (Friday nights) where we enjoy eachothers company one way or another (😉). We also usually spend Sundays studying together.

I guess what im trying to say is that find someone who understands your goals and it will all work out.

 

[thesauce]

I'm only a freshman pre-med, but for what it's worth my advice is to never miss out on anything based on being in pre-med.

Whether you are pre-med, in med school, a resident, or an actual doctor, you will always be busy and always have to strike balances between your time. You can't sit around and let life pass you by because you need good grades...Besides, even if you are in a relationship, be a strong person and let the other person know that you can't devote all your time to them, and they should be understanding.

Oh, and about studying "lonely"? NEVER study with a girl...especially a girlfriend...

My 2 cents, at least.

Good advice, especially from a freshman.

 

[thomallama]

I've been in a relationship for 4 1/2 years, and will be getting married in 6 months, two months before I begin medical school. Never had an issue keeping up my grades or anything like that. However, I do have a very understanding fiancée (leaves me alone when I need to study, helps me write note cards, etc.), so take that as you will.

 

[rhymeswithcoffee]

Last semester I tried to start a relationship with someone who has similar career goals, and, honestly the reasons my grades dropped (I ended up with a 3.3 this semester, ouch) is because we constantly argued about how neither of us would have time for a real relationship because of our career goals- if we had ignored all that and stopped over thinking it a 4.0 was totally attainable.

 

[DrCaliBoy]

If you know how to balance your schedule you can make it work.

 

[ComradeDoktor]

I'm single but most of my premed friends (even the most gunner-ish ones) are in relationships. There's no reason it can't be done. Think of it this way: You're not going to have much free time as a med student or resident either. Does that mean you're going to deny yourself for 8+ more years?

 

[Xiao]

Date if you feel like you feel like you have a good connection with someone. IMO it really should be a non-issue.

I had a girlfriend throughout college, and I'm having a successful application cycle. Many many people (in fact, the vast majority) date and still do very well in school and in their careers.

 

[ReptarBar]

why would your grades drop when you have a girlfriend? i would probably study with my gf everyday if i had one. as it stands, i just end up playing hours of games a day...a gf would be a huge upgrade for both my well-being and my grades.

 

[maybemed2013]

I say do it.

 

[albitk05]

I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her).

-"Yeah. That's why I've managed to stay
single this whole time, you know?"
- "Oh, really? That's why you're single?"
- "Yeah."
-"Cool. Good to know."

The Hangover.

Just kidding man. I think the majority of people have it right, here. IMO, go for it. Establish you're a premed, if she can't deal with that, then she doesn't deserve the rewards of your hardwork 😉

 

[ur2l8]

Haha...Alright everyone!

Can't wait for the new year now!😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 👍

 

[Narmerguy]

Anyone on SDN care to be his first GF 😉 Comeon, there's got to be a lucky girl out there that's ready to take him on.

 

[Double Trouble]

Hey guys,

I was wondering on your thoughts on having a girlfriend and being pre-med. I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her). Anyways, it's pretty lonely studying by yourself, and you can't help but seeing all these happy people on facebook and such (most of my friends are in relationships) and it kinda sucks being 9th wheel, lol.

Have any of you guys successfully gotten through undergrad with a girlfriend and gotten into med school? Any thoughts on the subject? Thanks.

You realize the majority of people (95%) have some sort of relationship in college?

But you are better off studying by yourself than studying with someone you are romantically interested in.

 

[kristinairene]

You should be able to balance personal life and school/work and I should probably take my advice too lol 😳

 

[To be MD]

Do it now because in medical school it will be a hundred times harder.

 

[ur2l8]

Anyone on SDN care to be his first GF 😉 Comeon, there's got to be a lucky girl out there that's ready to take him on.

lol, i've had a girlfriend...in high school. then she cheated on me😱
but it's all good! 😀

happy new year!

 

[Josh2389]

 

[UnclePhil]

Hey guys,

I was wondering on your thoughts on having a girlfriend and being pre-med. I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her). Anyways, it's pretty lonely studying by yourself, and you can't help but seeing all these happy people on facebook and such (most of my friends are in relationships) and it kinda sucks being 9th wheel, lol.

Have any of you guys successfully gotten through undergrad with a girlfriend and gotten into med school? Any thoughts on the subject? Thanks.

Being a "premed" is just being a college student. If you can't handle a girlfriend in college because you are a "premed", then get used to be being alone for a long time because it only gets tougher once med school starts.

 

[giantswing]

Um... Undergrad premed/quadruple major in anything/communications/elementary ed whatever is the most free time you'll have in your life - ever - once you go to med school.

 

[thesauce]

Um... Undergrad premed/quadruple major in anything/communications/elementary ed whatever is the most free time you'll have in your life - ever - once you go to med school.

Not if you major in engineering

 

[GiantFetus]

Maybe not relevant to you, OP, but having a significant other in college is nothing new. Personally, if you and your SO are relatively faithful people..a long distance relationship is beautiful. Enough time to study, meet other people, see each other every other weekend, and appreciating them when they're there. It's great, my boyfriend and I love it. Not because we can cheat on each other every night but because it offers us time to get our careers in balance.

 

[nisarg2010]

Maybe not relevant to you, OP, but having a significant other in college is nothing new. Personally, if you and your SO are relatively faithful people..a long distance relationship is beautiful. Enough time to study, meet other people, see each other every other weekend, and appreciating them when they're there. It's great, my boyfriend and I love it. Not because we can cheat on each other every night but because it offers us time to get our careers in balance.

That's what you think.....😎

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

Its easier than you think, but my girlfriend is a premed as well. We both understand the rigors of getting into medical school. Personally I wouldn't have it any other way! 🙂

 

[hiphopcrates]

Is Saturday night at the library your date night? Or am I the only one? (insert forever alone gif here)

 

[Dr Love]

Hey guys,

I was wondering on your thoughts on having a girlfriend and being pre-med. I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her). Anyways, it's pretty lonely studying by yourself, and you can't help but seeing all these happy people on facebook and such (most of my friends are in relationships) and it kinda sucks being 9th wheel, lol.

Have any of you guys successfully gotten through undergrad with a girlfriend and gotten into med school? Any thoughts on the subject? Thanks.

No, no one ever has.

In all seriousness, I suspect you are using the grades thing as an excuse. Which is fine, since girls do hurt your grades (especially the good-looking ones).

 

[Classof2013PreM]

My girlfriend is my best friend in college, and she keeps me sane when the work gets a bit hectic. It's possible that my grades might be slightly better if I had stayed single, but I am infinitely happier in my current relationship. We go to an extremely rigorous school, so a lot of time we spend together ends up being quality time in the library 😀.

Basically what i'm saying is that if you find the right girl that makes you happy, you shouldn't avoid a relationship just because you want to focus on being pre-med (if she's really a great girl, she will understand that you're going to busy sometimes!)

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

My girlfriend is my best friend in college, and she keeps me sane when the work gets a bit hectic. It's possible that my grades might be slightly better if I had stayed single, but I am infinitely happier in my current relationship. We go to an extremely rigorous school, so a lot of time we spend together ends up being quality time in the library 😀.

Basically what i'm saying is that if you find the right girl that makes you happy, you shouldn't avoid a relationship just because you want to focus on being pre-med (if she's really a great girl, she will understand that you're going to busy sometimes!)

Exactly. 😀

 

[plumhill]

My girlfriend is my best friend in college, and she keeps me sane when the work gets a bit hectic. It's possible that my grades might be slightly better if I had stayed single, but I am infinitely happier in my current relationship. We go to an extremely rigorous school, so a lot of time we spend together ends up being quality time in the library 😀.

Basically what i'm saying is that if you find the right girl that makes you happy, you shouldn't avoid a relationship just because you want to focus on being pre-med (if she's really a great girl, she will understand that you're going to busy sometimes!)

Yep...my boyfriend-recently-turned-fiancee is the same way 🙂 In college, bad/unhealthy relationships can hurt you tremendously, while good/stable ones can be what gets you through the day. You just have to make sure your relationship is in the latter category 😀

 

[DeterminedDoc]

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

 

[scarshapedstar]

Yes. Cripes, try having a girlfriend as an electrical engineer, or in any other male-dominated field. At least you have females in the room when you take premed classes.

 

[Ormm]

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

I know of several people who are in your same situation. Cheer up! You're still young and at the end of the day it's not the number of relationships you've been in that matters, what matters is the quality of them.

PS- nowadays dating websites do a pretty decent jobs matching people with similar interests. Maybe you should consider giving them a try 🙂

 

[GiantFetus]

That's what you think.....😎

haha, no really..thats what YOU think! 😎

 

[penguinism]

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

Are you shy? Do you make an effort to get to know girls? Have you put yourself out there (even if it ends in a rejection)? Sometimes guys just don't pick up the subtle hints that girls give, and neither person is assertive enough to make a move.

Having experience is not everything. Personally, I would rather have a guy with no experience than a guy with too much. My best relationships have been with previously "inexperienced" guys (including the one I'm in now). It lets both people learn and grow together.

And yes, having a relationship as a pre-med is possible, just make sure that you're ready for it. I had to duck out of one in sophomore year because I didn't have time between my classes and my job, but now it's great to have a bf! He's a smart guy with challenging engineering classes, so we often study together.

 

[xXIDaShizIXx]

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

Don't get upset dude. Women will come and go throughout your life. Get your work done and do what makes you happy. Don't give up women will come your way eventually. Who knows you might meet the woman of your dreams in medical school! Good luck!😀

 

[studmuffin]

I don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have a girlfriend. She keeps me sane and I'm just plain happier with someone- which translates into better grades.

 

[studmuffin]

BTW I'm 22 and the relationship I'm in is my first one, and I used to think there was something wrong with me because I was 21 or 22 without ever having had a girlfriend. The truth is, some people just take longer to grow to the point of being ready to have someone else in their lives. Learn to love yourself and others will follow suit. Don't give up. 🙂

 

[0919mmk]

I'm only a freshman pre-med, but for what it's worth my advice is to never miss out on anything based on being in pre-med.

Whether you are pre-med, in med school, a resident, or an actual doctor, you will always be busy and always have to strike balances between your time. You can't sit around and let life pass you by because you need good grades...Besides, even if you are in a relationship, be a strong person and let the other person know that you can't devote all your time to them, and they should be understanding.

Oh, and about studying "lonely"? NEVER study with a girl...especially a girlfriend...

My 2 cents, at least.

A wise 18 year old - go figure 👍

 

[NH14]

Hey guys,

I was wondering on your thoughts on having a girlfriend and being pre-med. I don't have one, but there have been a few girls I would have asked out when I had the chance, but didn't, because I knew my grades may drop (because I'd be spending time with her). Anyways, it's pretty lonely studying by yourself, and you can't help but seeing all these happy people on facebook and such (most of my friends are in relationships) and it kinda sucks being 9th wheel, lol.

Have any of you guys successfully gotten through undergrad with a girlfriend and gotten into med school? Any thoughts on the subject? Thanks.

Wtf? You didn't date someone because you don't want your grades to drop? gunnnnnnerrrrrr Prepare for a very lonely and miserable life. I had a gf throughout all of college and she definitely helped me to be successful. I can say with 100% confidence that I wouldn't have been as academically successful as I was without her.

 

[NoNotYouLionel]

I'm 21 and I've never had a gf in my life. I've made several attempts over the years but have been plain unsuccessful. It used to make me really depressed and it still does make me feel like less of a man time to time when I see my other friends in healthy relationships.

For reasons I can't explain, women i like just don't like me. I've learned to accept that and have accepted that I will probably be the only guy (if I get in) in med school that's had no experience with women. Sad I know, but this year has taught me a very important lesson:

I have to learn to accept what I cannot have because that's just how my life is.

If you think you can be succesful with women and with school go ahead, youve got time to figure it out, and at least your not a 21 year old loser with no grades or women.

Eh, I'm older than you and have never had a bf. Such is life.