Having a Mental Breakdown

[TravisDPT]

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Prepare for a rant but I need to vent and could use some advice.

I am in my second year, first semester. It is undoubtedly the hardest semester of our program with a med school neuro class and 4 other PT classes and I am absolutely drowning. It's taken everything I have to keep my head above water for the whole semester, but the last two weeks feel like the end in terms of schoolwork. I've had plenty of academic challenges in the past, but I just put my head down, worked hard, and made it through it. And that has always worked. But I've never felt what I am feeling now though. Not even close. I have the free time to study, but I just can't do it. I can't concentrate, can't focus, and none of the information sticks. I've gained weight and oversleep, struggling to make it to class on time, when I've always been 15+ minutes early. I've tried changing up my study habits and that didn't work either. I tried taking a weekend and a few days off to hit refresh and try to get back into the groove, but it only put me more lectures behind. I've lost all interest in the material and swing back and forth between not caring/numbness to complete fear of failing out. I feel like everything is flying past me and I have no control over it, and new material just keeps getting dropped on my head every day. I know what I need to do (which is study like crazy to catch up), but when I sit down to study, I just stare. It feels like I just do not have the confidence and mental fortitude anymore, and that scares the heck out of me.

/rant over.

Anyway, has anyone hit a wall like this before? What suggestions do you have to get your motivation back and stay focused? I've had struggles before, but I've never had a complete loss of motivation and ability like this, and it's really tough. And I've come so far and invested so much to blow it now. I plan on meeting with one of my faculty asap. Anyway, anything helps.

 

[Flemish]

I definitely don't have a great answer for you, but I'll give motivation a shot:

This is an opportunity unlike any you've had before. One where for the first time in your life, academics has challenged you to the point of breaking. It's in this trying time that you'll find out who you really are, and who you really want to be.

You've gotten this far simply by believing in yourself, working hard, and showing yourself and others the determination you have to achieve your goals. But now, you're in the trenches. This is where ambitions are forged into realities. You could fail, sure, but you could also fight. You could grit your teeth, push forward, and never stop pushing until you find yourself on the other side of this. When that time comes, you'll look back on the massive divide between who you were and what you've become, and then turn once again towards who you are yet to be. Embrace this opportunity. Once you've gone past the point of breaking, you'll never be broken again.

I know you didn't ask for a cheesy motivational speech. But it's cathartic and I figured it couldn't hurt. Thanks for baring your burdens and best of luck to you.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[DPThopeful1859]

I think meeting with your faculty will help. To me, forcing yourself to do the material when you don't have any interest anymore is stressful itself. Have you gone through anything else in your life lately that would drag down your motivation other than school itself or is it just school that's bothering you?

 

[TravisDPT]

I think meeting with your faculty will help. To me, forcing yourself to do the material when you don't have any interest anymore is stressful itself. Have you gone through anything else in your life lately that would drag down your motivation other than school itself or is it just school that's bothering you?

Nothing major. Everything else is actually going pretty well, just school that is dragging me down. I think meeting with faculty today will be productive.

 

[DPThopeful1859]

Well, let us know what the outcome is!

 

[okramango]

I recently graduated PT school, and there were definitely times during the program that I felt like I just couldn't do it anymore. It's an insane amount of work and stress. It sounds like you're right in the middle of your program, too, which is the time that it can feel like it's never going to end. But it will, and this is temporary. It's ok to not be interested in the material right now. You just need to get through it. You've made it this far so I know you can get through this too. Keep checking in with us here and let us know how things are going.

 

[okramango]

One other thing - at my program they offered free counseling for students, and I know several of my classmates used this resource to help with the mental stress of school. I didn't do it myself, but my classmates mentioned that it was really helpful for them. You might see if there is a resource like this at your program, too.

 

[jblil]

OP - Hang in there, this too shall pass... I found that working as a PT is much, much easier than going to PT school. So keep your eyes on the prize while slogging through school.

 

[noyceguy]

Prepare for a rant but I need to vent and could use some advice.

I am in my second year, first semester. It is undoubtedly the hardest semester of our program with a med school neuro class and 4 other PT classes and I am absolutely drowning. It's taken everything I have to keep my head above water for the whole semester, but the last two weeks feel like the end in terms of schoolwork. I've had plenty of academic challenges in the past, but I just put my head down, worked hard, and made it through it. And that has always worked. But I've never felt what I am feeling now though. Not even close. I have the free time to study, but I just can't do it. I can't concentrate, can't focus, and none of the information sticks. I've gained weight and oversleep, struggling to make it to class on time, when I've always been 15+ minutes early. I've tried changing up my study habits and that didn't work either. I tried taking a weekend and a few days off to hit refresh and try to get back into the groove, but it only put me more lectures behind. I've lost all interest in the material and swing back and forth between not caring/numbness to complete fear of failing out. I feel like everything is flying past me and I have no control over it, and new material just keeps getting dropped on my head every day. I know what I need to do (which is study like crazy to catch up), but when I sit down to study, I just stare. It feels like I just do not have the confidence and mental fortitude anymore, and that scares the heck out of me.

/rant over.

Anyway, has anyone hit a wall like this before? What suggestions do you have to get your motivation back and stay focused? I've had struggles before, but I've never had a complete loss of motivation and ability like this, and it's really tough. And I've come so far and invested so much to blow it now. I plan on meeting with one of my faculty asap. Anyway, anything helps.

Welcome to the suck. This is what you want. How can you ever be better than you were if you don't go further than you've ever been? Keep going, keep going.

 

[MarbledRye]

OP. The second year of PT school is the hardest of the three years. Buckle in and study hard. I had a friend of mine who was in a similar situation to yours where he struggled with grasping topics and was falling behind. He asked for help and for study partners and we started studying in a group a few days before every exam. They say the best way to learn yourself is to teach it to another person. Try finding a study partner/group in your class that would be able to get together and go over topics together. Start paying a lot of attention is class as well. I was one of the lucky ones who was able to absorb quite a bit in the class itself while a lot of others were browsing facebook. This helps a lot as you can cut down on review time needed outside of class. Ask a ton of questions in class every time the teacher goes over anything you dont understand. You are paying a ton for tuition, get your moneys worth. Right after class, go over your notes again while it is fresh and really pound it into your skull. It might also help if you buy a voice recorder and record your teachers lectures if you need it. I recorded every lecture and referred to them if I needed explanation on a small part of the notes I did not understand.

 

[Kinesio19]

Although it's only my second semester I'm feeling really similarly right now. I'm just trying to break it down and chip away at it each day, looking forward to the next break where I can take a breath.

 

[DocTAP87]

Hey Travis, my name is also Travis and I've hit a wall just like you. What's different is that I'm a first year but what you've described is exactly how I feel. It is also the way many of my classmates feel and the way many people on this forum have described feeling. When we are overwhelmed, I think it is important to step back and breathe. Even though it may feel impossible, spend some time with someone you enjoy around, go exercise, go watch a movie, go dive into your hobby. Do something that makes you feel good.

Also, remember why you're doing this. Anything wonderful comes with a price of struggle and hardship at first. We can do this and it will be worth it in the end.

Also, my school has a psychology program. If your school has a counselor that you can go see, do it. It really helped me and I'm doing weekly sessions with her because the stress kicked up my anxiety and irritability. It helps to talk with her.

Good luck!

 

[TravisDPT]

Update for those curious:

First of all, thank you everyone for the kind words and helpful advice!

It's definitely been a tough semester, with some dark days. This semester has challenged me in ways that I have never been challenged before, not only academically, but also personally. I feel that I have grown and learned priceless lessons, and recovered significantly in terms of mood, motivation, and overall demeanor as compared to the last couple of months. I take my last final of the semester tomorrow, and then all will be said and done. I will be cutting it pretty close in one class, and another is up in the air as well. I will be finding out my final course grades and meeting with faculty over the next week. I am unsure how this semester will turn out for me, but I am optimistic in being able to continue in the program! I may have to take a year off, but I am doubtful that anything serious (i.e. dismissal) will result given my overall good performance.

I will try to update again after all is said and done! Wish me luck.