having doubts about med school?

[fivelikes]

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i'm a first year student who's having serious doubts about being in med school. i'm doing well academically but i just don't know if my heart is in it or if i'm mentally equipped to handle the stress. i've been almost constantly stressed since med school started, except for maybe the first few days right after a test. it doesn't help that my anxiety has gotten 100% worse since starting school. i've been seeing a therapist but i'm not sure how much it has helped really. the idea of doing this for another 7+ years through med school and residency is almost unbearable to me. i also came through straight from undergrad and would probably have benefited from taking a break.

while i do find some of the material interesting, but i'm not sure how much i enjoy it like the rest of my classmates seem to (even the clinical applications). i haven't shadowed much but i have enjoyed the few times i've been in clinic so far. tbh, the only field i can really see myself going into is psych. but even then i can't be sure i would enjoy that. the idea of helping people is what drew me to medicine in the first place but i'm not sure now if that's a good enough reason, especially if i'm miserable.

maybe i'm just burnt out but at this point i don't know what to do and feel like i should make a decision soon before i get into even more debt. i've considered taking a LOA but i'm worried about how this would look to residency programs if i decide to come back. i also have a (pretty much useless) humanities degree and have no idea what i would do if i actually did leave medicine or what i'm interested in. basically i'm just looking for some advice/to see if anyone has been in my position before. thanks in advance and sorry for the ranting

 

[787593]

i'm a first year student who's having serious doubts about being in med school. i'm doing well academically but i just don't know if my heart is in it or if i'm mentally equipped to handle the stress. you can handle it i've been almost constantly stressed since med school started, except for maybe the first few days right after a test. P=MD, no need to stress. try to enjoy the studying! it doesn't help that my anxiety has gotten 100% worse since starting school. really? med school is way less stress than undergrad! you're IN, you're gonna be a doctor! i've been seeing a therapist but i'm not sure how much it has helped really. the idea of doing this for another 7+ years through med school and residency is almost unbearable to me. take it one day at a time, deep breaths, call family/friends when possible. i also came through straight from undergrad and would probably have benefited from taking a break. I did the same thing! I would've gone nuts with a break! So thankful that I got in right away.

while i do find some of the material interesting, but i'm not sure how much i enjoy it like the rest of my classmates seem to (even the clinical applications). you don't have to love everything, haha. my clinical class gets boring AF sometimes, nothing wrong with that i haven't shadowed much me either! but i have enjoyed the few times i've been in clinic so far. tbh, the only field i can really see myself going into is psych. but even then i can't be sure i would enjoy that. talk to a psych and try to shadow! the idea of helping people is what drew me to medicine in the first place awesome! don't lose that passion! but i'm not sure now if that's a good enough reason, especially if i'm miserable. def a good reason. are you sure it's school that makes you miserable?

maybe i'm just burnt out entirely possible. try to find a fun activity to take your mind off school 🙂 but at this point i don't know what to do and feel like i should make a decision soon before i get into even more debt. i've considered taking a LOA but i'm worried about how this would look to residency programs if i decide to come back. i also have a (pretty much useless) humanities degree and have no idea what i would do if i actually did leave medicine or what i'm interested in. basically i'm just looking for some advice/to see if anyone has been in my position before. thanks in advance and sorry for the ranting

I totally feel burn out sometimes but it can be avoided and confronted 😎

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

I had a friend like you. She hated everything about med school. On her psych rotation she was so excited and ended up going into psych. 🙂 there are good and bad parts to everything. Maybe the therapist can help find some ways to address your anxiety


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[NickNaylor]

My one piece of unhelpful insight is to recognize that the pre-clinical years are not medical practice. Hell, even the clinical years of medical school are not medical practice. Things change significantly once you get into residency, and once you’re done with training you will, depending on your field, have a wide variety of settings and situations that you can practice in.

It is very easy to become myopic and hyperfocused about the pre-clinical experience and forget that, in the big scheme of things, the pre-clinical curriculum specifically and medical school is generally is a small portion of a larger career. I hated medical school - at least the academic portion - but love my job as a resident and really enjoy the work that I do.

I don’t think what you’re experiencing is unusual. The task for you is to figure out whether continuing in the training is worthwhile. That’s really only a question that you can answer, but try and keep in mind that what you’re currently experiencing is NOT going to be the experience of your entire career. I had a newfound sense of purpose once I hit the wards, and while that very quickly faded I did enjoy clinical rotations much more than the pre-clinical work. For me, at least, the time time vs. satisfaction plot has been a gradual upward trend.

 

[Donald Juan]

In hindsight, I was probably clinically depressed the first 2 years of med school. I can't say it gets better for every single person, but it has for me. I'll just echo as said above, you're trying to be a doctor, not a med student, and certainly not a M1-2.

 

[Brahnold Bloodaxe]

We have so many threads popping up about how stressful med school is and I can never understand how people can feel this way. What's so stressful about waking up each day and having to leisurely memorize a bunch of powerpoints?

Working in a call center? That's stressful.
Having to hit sales targets to keep your job and pay rent for your family? Stressful.
Leading a platoon in combat? Probably stressful, at least in my opinion...lawl.

But waking up at 11am and knowing you have to sit on your ass for a few hours to memorize some pathology and pharmacology powerpoints? That's the opposite of stressful. It's so not stressful, as a matter of fact, that my biggest problem by far is motivating myself to stop jerking around and just swallow the bullet and go do it. This moment is a prime example: I have an exam tomorrow morning which granted is not one of the big block exams but one I nevertheless have to pass in order to not fail the class, yet here I am sheitposting on SDN. I wish I could feel this stuff is stressful, then I might actually feel motivated to study lol.

 

[mistafab]

Hey OP -

Are you doing anything fun outside of school? Hobbies? Parties? Exercise? Cake?

Just wondering if you are taking care of yourself well.

 

[Kgizzle]

We have so many threads popping up about how stressful med school is and I can never understand how people can feel this way. What's so stressful about waking up each day and having to leisurely memorize a bunch of powerpoints?

Working in a call center? That's stressful.
Having to hit sales targets to keep your job and pay rent for your family? Stressful.
Leading a platoon in combat? Probably stressful, at least in my opinion...lawl.

But waking up at 11am and knowing you have to sit on your ass for a few hours to memorize some pathology and pharmacology powerpoints? That's the opposite of stressful. It's so not stressful, as a matter of fact, that my biggest problem by far is motivating myself to stop jerking around and just swallow the bullet and go do it. This moment is a prime example: I have an exam tomorrow morning which granted is not one of the big block exams but one I nevertheless have to pass in order to not fail the class, yet here I am sheitposting on SDN. I wish I could feel this stuff is stressful, then I might actually feel motivated to study lol.

Lol that's me... I've been too damn lazy lately and unmotivated

 

[Coupd'Cat]

It's normal to feel uncertainty about where you are in life. It sucks, but it's normal. It's not necessarily a sign that you made the wrong choice. Whatever choice you made, you made it with the information and desires you had at that moment in time.

Go ahead and allow yourself to feel the gaping chasm of uncertainty open up in front of you from time to time. Then do your best to plow forward in whatever direction that needs to be.

~ vague guru speech from the mountaintop is over ~

My own personal experience was that the less I expected medical school to be easy or enjoyable 24/7, the more content I was. A big part of the 4 years is learning how imperfect the practice of medicine can be. Which can be disillusioning, but I think the rest of the world is a mess anyway. Many jobs are a mess anyway. But there's something about getting a glimpse of the the human element of medicine from our lowly positions as trainees. Maybe it's the universal-suffering-and-trying-to-alleviate-the-suffering-of-it. You see more of that in third year (which has its own stresses, but I have also come to terms with the fact that learning to do seemingly mindless tasks has it's own worth). Ranting with friends helps, as does laughing at how absurd it all is.

 

[bumpy]

I totally relate to how you're feeling. The only difference is that I'm a nontraditional student and feel this way. Anyway, yeah, the constant stress and sheer boredom associated with some (a lot) of the material makes me feel anxious and depressed many days. It doesn't help that so many of my classmates always seem to be totally on top of the material and studying all the time...oftentimes I feel like I don't have the weird medical school type drive that they have. I can't sit in one spot for 10 hours memorizing hundreds of powerpoints. Hope you feel better.

 

[fivelikes]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I really appreciate it. I took a few days off over thanksgiving break and hoped that would help with the burnout but coming back to school I've realized that my situation hasn't really gotten much better. I'm gonna try shadowing a doctor in the field I'm interested in to see if that somehow re-motivates me. At this point, I don't really know what else to do except maybe see a different therapist to sort out my anxiety/depression issues. It's just making me mad that I've tried everything short of my medication for my problems and things still don't seem to be getting any better. I'm still debating whether I should take a LOA or not/talk to the student affairs dean about this

 

[fivelikes]

I totally relate to how you're feeling. The only difference is that I'm a nontraditional student and feel this way. Anyway, yeah, the constant stress and sheer boredom associated with some (a lot) of the material makes me feel anxious and depressed many days. It doesn't help that so many of my classmates always seem to be totally on top of the material and studying all the time...oftentimes I feel like I don't have the weird medical school type drive that they have. I can't sit in one spot for 10 hours memorizing hundreds of powerpoints. Hope you feel better.

Thanks for sharing.. I definitely relate to this. Glad to know I'm not alone. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more about it.