headscarf update dah dah daaaah!

[Rpre19]

Hey all,
So a couple of people asked me to give an update bc they were curious about my program director's reaction...

So I have officially begun wearing my hijab & I am so happy I did. It was funny at first--every way someone behaved with me I attributed to the scarf. I knew I was ridiculous when I assumed someone who cut me off in bumper-bumper traffic did it bc of the hijab lol. Even if someone was nice to me in a store--ooooh its the hijab. So now that I am back to a healthy perspective
I went to the program's main office & the secretary basically laughed a little & said OH you just missed dr so&so! she wears the hijab too. Apparently they've had several hijabis & some male sikhs who wear the traditional beard & turban (correct name?) & she said I need not worry bc its common enough there & the director has not had an issue with it. phew! It's just nice to know that I will have the support of the program when I do face the particular challenges ahead.
BTW, the director of my medical school's program said she wouldnt really like it but they would have worked around it if a resident there wore it.

Thanks for all the comments & even more for the support guys!!! I'll be back Im sure with questions about residency...

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[nancysinatra]

Hey--good for you! Congratulations!

 

[Ritz]

The staff won't bother (should not!) and will get used to it for sure, but the Patients sometimes will be difficult I remember one resident reported some nasty comments directed towards her attire. But that comes with the profession. It is convenient (and safe) if the patients have as little personal information about you, but that's a personal preference. All the best.
best.

 

[Faebinder]

Congrats. I didn't think an issue will arise anyway. Update us on the patients' reaction.

 

[levaneyoffbeat]

Mashallah...
sister dont let those reactions get to you
u r only getting blessings.
i still get stares, i've been called a ninja, someone thought i had cancer, i've heard it all and you have those who'll try to get you to take it off, that's just shaitan giving u fear...
my all time favorite esp. during the summer aren't u hot in that thing?
El7hamdilah i'll wear my hijab and sweat a little in the summer it's nothing compared to the fire in jahanum
stay strong..
all my love
w'salaam

 

[Decepticon]

For you yourself, it is all thumbs up, and improving your quality of life being able to dress the way you want to.

For your patients, there is bound to be a sub-group of patients who are better served, talking to a woman wearing a hijab, than talking to, say a nontheist.

But how does the hospital deal with patients who don't want to speak to you, are they coerced in any way?

I can imagine a male homosexual crossdressing individual, having been expelled from the family by his parents, wouldn't be thrilled to speak with a fundamentalist christian psychiatrist, or open up in any way to a religious person.

A fundamentalist christian, can hide the cross. But you are wearing a piece of cloth that everybody can associate with a subset of people sharing beliefs to a variable extent and sharing the same scripture. If I had my genitals tampered with as a kid, I can promise you, I would not be willing to let you know all about me, how many goats I ****, how much pork I eat, and so on.

So couldn't the hijab also be seen as counter-productive? And how do you guys solve the practical issues in your hospital?

 

[Rpre19]

To Levaney, thank you for your encouragement

To decepticon,

I can only say that I hope my initial approach to patients squashes any worries about my judgement against them. I certainly dont feel any in terms of my religion--now do I feel a little annoyed at the axis II patient who is emotionally blackmailing their family, yup but either way its up to me to keep that to myself.

I can say that I have had pt's refuse to talk to me clearly bc they are po'ed they are on 1:1 or bc we are going for med over objection, but so far not bc of the hijab. I dont know how I'll deal with it, I guess it'll depend on the pt but I would certainly try to get past it with the pt. I'm here to try & help & I dont want my dress or obvious beliefs to be a barrier. I can only try to assure the pt that I'm human, I've heard stuff before & I'm not so easily shocked. If you knew me in person, it might be easier to see what I mean. I'm a bit sarcastic & quite witty if I dare say so myself. I dont really care about your interest in the animal persuasion, I just want to discharge you as quickly as possible, really lol. Just kidding...
If the pt genuinely feels uncomfortable I would let my senior know & seeing how laid back & cool my program is, I think they would work it out pretty easily.
I did have a pt try to punch me, but that comes with the territory. He was psychotic & pretty cranky to just about everyone. He did make an anti-muslim remark, but whatever. I cant take it personally. What if he didnt like blondes & I didnt have a hijab on?? same outcome maybe, right? lol a few days of seroquel later & he apologized to me for walking into a room where I was sitting. I think he didnt even remember the outburst...
I agree you can hide a cross, not so much a scarf. But, I can only try to work with it. It hasnt been too difficult so far...

Oh & dont think the cross-dressing ostracized pt wouldnt want to talk to me...actually I've had quite a few pt's who were homosexual w & w/o HIV status with family issues confide in me pretty easily. Its allin your own non-judgemental, I've seen it before approach. I had one very special pt (granted not in psych but with depression) dying of AIDS, get pretty close & we'd go over the daily celebrity scoop (when others on the team didnt want to touch him ). he gave me a gift & asked me to take him to a mosque once he got better...he never did unfortunately. I saw his partner about a year later & we still remembered each other...we had a nice chat over coffee.so I think the individuals make a big difference.

 

[Rpre19]

ostrasized?? ostracized?? i dunno

 

[Doc Samson]

So couldn't the hijab also be seen as counter-productive? And how do you guys solve the practical issues in your hospital?

How much of yourself are you willing to obscure for your practice? My last name (not Samson, but that works too) is obviously Jewish. So whenever I'm seeing an antisocial/psychotic/manic patient who I'm admitting against their will, the "k!ke motherf@ckers" and insinuations that I'm doing this "for the money" tend to flow freely. As my supervisors always told me - it's all just grist for the (diagnostic and therapeutic) mill.

 

[billypilgrim37]

How much of yourself are you willing to obscure for your practice? My last name (not Samson, but that works too) is obviously Jewish. So whenever I'm seeing an antisocial/psychotic/manic patient who I'm admitting against their will, the "k!ke motherf@ckers" and insinuations that I'm doing this "for the money" tend to flow freely. As my supervisors always told me - it's all just grist for the (diagnostic and therapeutic) mill.

In a gen med clinic, a patient with schizophrenia spent a solid 15 minutes straight laughing about my Southern accent. Literally, he answered no questions, he just sat and cackled. It was incredible.

 

[Decepticon]

Oh & dont think the cross-dressing ostracized pt wouldnt want to talk to me...actually I've had quite a few pt's who were homosexual w & w/o HIV status with family issues confide in me pretty easily. Its allin your own non-judgemental, I've seen it before approach.

Well, that surprises me. My first thought was that people might not make a remark, due to fear of not receiving proper treatment, or because they fear confrontation in general. My impression is that you sorta have an upper hand as a physician, seeing as the patients are dependent on you, and therefore perhaps more restricted in their behavior. But given the diversity of patients, if your hijab really was a problem, there should always have been a few patients who say whatever's on their minds, and seeing as that hasn't happened, maybe it is all A-OK! You gotta remember, I am making this remark being a student, and it is based on my own antipathies and predictions, not clinical empirical data. I suppose you professionals develop smart ways of conveying that you won't react negatively, no matter what they are letting off.

How much of yourself are you willing to obscure for your practice?

It's a damn good question

I don't know about you, but I tend to do the math depending on the situation. I am sure there is some general principle in my hardware that could predict my pattern of reaction, but I am not not actively conferring with a principle in my mind.

I think I am generally more happy with a higher level of self assertiveness. I would not be happy, refraining from wearing a headscarf due to pressure from my superiors. Accepting abuse in fear of worse consequences is detrimental to my self-image and worth.

Self-imposed restrictions share some of this as well. I am sure it is beneficial to be diplomatic, but sometimes you then put yourself in a position where you are borderline lying. For instance if a patient asks you what you think of homeopathy, and you pretend it to be OK in certain cases, even though you think it is BS.

and insinuations that I'm doing this "for the money" tend to flow freely.

What? You're saying you're not??

 

[Decepticon]

In a gen med clinic, a patient with schizophrenia spent a solid 15 minutes straight laughing about my Southern accent. Literally, he answered no questions, he just sat and cackled. It was incredible.

Honestly, when you see enough people like that, isn't there a time when you ask yourself why on earth you wanted to treat people in the first place?

 

[Doc Samson]

Honestly, when you see enough people like that, isn't there a time when you ask yourself why on earth you wanted to treat people in the first place?

Speaking for myself, no - these are the type of situations I tend to enjoy as a psychiatrist. The puzzle is that much harder to "solve" when the patient won't give you any data.

 

[billypilgrim37]

Honestly, when you see enough people like that, isn't there a time when you ask yourself why on earth you wanted to treat people in the first place?

I think these situations are actually MUCH easier coming from a psychiatric interest/background, because I think better than most other docs we are taught to see the feelings pts have towards us (and that we have towards them) as just another part of our exam. I've said that a lot to some of my fellow medicine interns right now, and it's probably the only piece of advice I'd ever offer anybody.

In this case, I think the visit was actually about the guy's blood pressure, so yeah, that was frustrating.

To answer your question honestly, sure, I think most of us either have those feelings you mentioned or have simply talked ourselves out of them (which some people are better at than others). And that's okay, it's human. We all have some nasty thoughts. We're all tired, and we all lose perspective of our privilege we enjoy as physicians.

Just don't let it stick.

And we can let the debate begin, but a Southerner in the Upper Midwest does have a funny accent. At least I know the guy could detect subtle speech differences, right?

 

[NewmansOwn]

I think these situations are actually MUCH easier coming from a psychiatric interest/background, because I think better than most other docs we are taught to see the feelings pts have towards us (and that we have towards them) as just another part of our exam. I've said that a lot to some of my fellow medicine interns right now, and it's probably the only piece of advice I'd ever offer anybody.

In this case, I think the visit was actually about the guy's blood pressure, so yeah, that was frustrating.

To answer your question honestly, sure, I think most of us either have those feelings you mentioned or have simply talked ourselves out of them (which some people are better at than others). And that's okay, it's human. We all have some nasty thoughts. We're all tired, and we all lose perspective of our privilege we enjoy as physicians.

Just don't let it stick.

And we can let the debate begin, but a Southerner in the Upper Midwest does have a funny accent. At least I know the guy could detect subtle speech differences, right?

Try fitting in by adding "dontcha know?" and "you betcha!" and "man, cheese is tasty" to everything you say. Works like a charm.