HELP: Do schools know about past acceptances?

[stillhopeful!]

I finally got into a school off the waitlist (!!), it’s not my top choice but I’m grateful to have an A at all. Unfortunately, my parents are telling me that it’s not a good enough a school and that I should considering declining the acceptance and reapplying for the chance of going to a “better” school. I want to ignore them and go, but the tricky part is that we had previously agreed that they would help me out with a portion of tuition/COA (obviously, this is such a privilege and I’d be hugely thankful). Now, they’re threatening to go back on their word unless I go to a better school.

The most convincing argument I have, which I’m pretty sure is true, is that other schools would know I’ve been accepted previously and that would be a HUGE red flag, leading me to not get in anywhere at all if I reapply. But after searching it up it seems like this might not be true after all? Does anyone, especially any adcoms here, know? Thanks so much in advance, feeling very stressed now and don’t know what to do (this school is especially expensive, too, and taking out loans for it all would be a huge burden and so I’m really hoping to convince my parents here).

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[Nontrad_FL_LGBT]

Yeah, based on every thread like this that's ever been posted it would be a huge red flag and you prob wouldn't get in again. Don't apply somewhere you're not willing to go and if your parents are going to screw you over like that, take the loans like everyone else and don't look back.

 

[Goro]

I finally got into a school off the waitlist (!!), it’s not my top choice but I’m grateful to have an A at all. Unfortunately, my parents are telling me that it’s not a good enough a school and that I should considering declining the acceptance and reapplying for the chance of going to a “better” school. I want to ignore them and go, but the tricky part is that we had previously agreed that they would help me out with a portion of tuition/COA (obviously, this is such a privilege and I’d be hugely thankful). Now, they’re threatening to go back on their word unless I go to a better school.

The most convincing argument I have, which I’m pretty sure is true, is that other schools would know I’ve been accepted previously and that would be a HUGE red flag, leading me to not get in anywhere at all if I reapply. But after searching it up it seems like this might not be true after all? Does anyone, especially any adcoms here, know? Thanks so much in advance, feeling very stressed now and don’t know what to do (this school is especially expensive, too, and taking out loans for it all would be a huge burden and so I’m really hoping to convince my parents here).

Ahh, parents...doing their best out of love and malignant ignorance to destroy your medical career.

Look, you're an adult now. You're old enough to vote, drink, drive, run for political office, work, pay taxes and fight and die for your country. Thus, you're old enough to have a spine and tell your parents that you're the one going to medical school, not them and you'll attend and they'd better be happy for you, because you'll be a doctor in some four years, you'll have that MD or DO degree, which means YOU'LL BE A DOCTOR!

You didn't go through all this nonsense just to boost their self-esteem.

So tell them to chill and get them to join SDN and we can tell them the errors of thier ways.

And the worst mistake an applicant can make is to turn down their only accept, unless it's at the execrable CNU.

 

[Mr.Smile12]

We don't know where you get acceptances. We will know where you matriculated.

If your family promised to pay for your wedding, but they don't like your fiance(e) that they threaten to renege, what would you do? Drop the fiance(e) to keep the family happy? It's your choice. It happens more often than you believe. But it reveals a lot about where your priorities lie.

And now a Taylor Swift interlude.

 

[Hollow Knight]

Look, we should respect our elders, educated people generally, etc. However, here's a list of things my parents or authority figures have advised me to do in the past several years in high school/undergrad/med school:

-pay $200,000 for undergrad to be premed "for the alumni network"
- go to Vanderbilt for medical school, even though I'm 99% set on primary care
- work a 36 hour hospital shift "for the experience"

I don't want to sound arrogant, but not all older people are actually wise. There is a Bible verse about that or something.

Edit: I felt bad about this post because our society tends to glorify youth to an unusual degree. I guess what made me write this was that I grew up VERY authoritarian culturally, and it took me a bit to realize I had to forge my own path. That's all I'm saying

 

[wysdoc]

I finally got into a school off the waitlist (!!), it’s not my top choice but I’m grateful to have an A at all. Unfortunately, my parents are telling me that it’s not a good enough a school and that I should considering declining the acceptance and reapplying for the chance of going to a “better” school. I want to ignore them and go, but the tricky part is that we had previously agreed that they would help me out with a portion of tuition/COA (obviously, this is such a privilege and I’d be hugely thankful). Now, they’re threatening to go back on their word unless I go to a better school.

The most convincing argument I have, which I’m pretty sure is true, is that other schools would know I’ve been accepted previously and that would be a HUGE red flag, leading me to not get in anywhere at all if I reapply. But after searching it up it seems like this might not be true after all? Does anyone, especially any adcoms here, know? Thanks so much in advance, feeling very stressed now and don’t know what to do (this school is especially expensive, too, and taking out loans for it all would be a huge burden and so I’m really hoping to convince my parents here).

Wow. This is the school which accepted you , relatively late in the application cycle (and I'm sure your parents don't understand that the timing says something.)
Tell them that this is your only option currently so you will accept it, to get started on your medical career.
Tell them "Mom, Dad, I am so happy! Please be happy with me." Tell them they can start sharing the good news to their friends that their child got into medical school. Maybe trying to approach it this way, in sharing the happiness? will work better than arguing with them. It's worth a try!

 

[candbgirl]

I finally got into a school off the waitlist (!!), it’s not my top choice but I’m grateful to have an A at all. Unfortunately, my parents are telling me that it’s not a good enough a school and that I should considering declining the acceptance and reapplying for the chance of going to a “better” school. I want to ignore them and go, but the tricky part is that we had previously agreed that they would help me out with a portion of tuition/COA (obviously, this is such a privilege and I’d be hugely thankful). Now, they’re threatening to go back on their word unless I go to a better school.

The most convincing argument I have, which I’m pretty sure is true, is that other schools would know I’ve been accepted previously and that would be a HUGE red flag, leading me to not get in anywhere at all if I reapply. But after searching it up it seems like this might not be true after all? Does anyone, especially any adcoms here, know? Thanks so much in advance, feeling very stressed now and don’t know what to do (this school is especially expensive, too, and taking out loans for it all would be a huge burden and so I’m really hoping to convince my parents here).

What makes them think reapplying would yield different results.
Don’t give up an acceptance. Take out loans like everyone else does. Go be a doctor. Congratulations.

 

[Med Ed]

The most convincing argument I have, which I’m pretty sure is true, is that other schools would know I’ve been accepted previously and that would be a HUGE red flag, leading me to not get in anywhere at all if I reapply.

The most convincing argument you have is that you worked hard to get into medical school, obtained an acceptance, and plan to attend.

That's it. That's all you need. Not their permission. Not their approval.

If they try to blackmail you financially, just laugh and tell them they're downgrading their future nursing home options. When they eventually realize they cannot control you or dictate your future, they will come around or not. Either way you will have valuable information concerning they type of relationship you want to have with them going forward.

 

[NavyGuy]

Just chiming in with my experience as a re-applicant.

Currently re-applying and had a few acceptances from 2018, but couldn't go because of a military obligation.I definitely got asked about it a lot and had to explain why I couldn't matriculate 6 years ago; and think I had differing results at each school. Overall I don't think it hurt me *too* much, but think it may have impacted decisions at a few schools. Some schools I had As at previously didn;t even send an II this time.

All this to say schools don't like re-applicants at all, and "my parents won't pay" isn't going to fly when there are hundreds of people behind you that would take out student loans

 

[hopefully_admitted]

I agree with all the perspectives and advice shared above. To answer your question specifically though, technically, I don't believe other schools (besides the one that accepted you) would know about the acceptance. The idea that all schools see your previous acceptances is a myth. Therefore, if you declined the offer you should be no worse off than any other reapplicant, and there are many of those. (Of course, someone correct me if I am wrong). Take that as you will.

 

[xffan624]

I agree with all the perspectives and advice shared above. To answer your question specifically though, technically, I don't believe other schools (besides the one that accepted you) would know about the acceptance. The idea that all schools see your previous acceptances is a myth. Therefore, if you declined the offer you should be no worse off than any other reapplicant, and there are many of those. (Of course, someone correct me if I am wrong). Take that as you will.

It's sometimes a questions on school's secondaries. Is it not a question on AMCAS or is that just attending medical schools? I can't remember.

 

[Goro]

It's sometimes a questions on school's secondaries. Is it not a question on AMCAS or is that just attending medical schools? I can't remember.

Primaries ask if you've matriculated to a medical school.

Some secondaries ask if you have current or past accepts.

Some interviewers ask about accepts.

 

[letsgo2023]

I heard from someone who actually did turn down an offer and reapply that technically only that school will know but sometimes other schools somehow know too. A little spooky, maybe adcoms talk to each other? 🤔

 

[LindaAccepted]

I finally got into a school off the waitlist (!!), it’s not my top choice but I’m grateful to have an A at all. Unfortunately, my parents are telling me that it’s not a good enough a school and that I should considering declining the acceptance and reapplying for the chance of going to a “better” school. I want to ignore them and go, but the tricky part is that we had previously agreed that they would help me out with a portion of tuition/COA (obviously, this is such a privilege and I’d be hugely thankful). Now, they’re threatening to go back on their word unless I go to a better school.

The most convincing argument I have, which I’m pretty sure is true, is that other schools would know I’ve been accepted previously and that would be a HUGE red flag, leading me to not get in anywhere at all if I reapply. But after searching it up it seems like this might not be true after all? Does anyone, especially any adcoms here, know? Thanks so much in advance, feeling very stressed now and don’t know what to do (this school is especially expensive, too, and taking out loans for it all would be a huge burden and so I’m really hoping to convince my parents here).

Congratulations on your acceptance, but sorry to hear about the parental reaction.

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. Also, delaying the start of your medical school education and career will ultimately cost you one year of MD salary, which I realize is not the cost of attending medical school, but it's not a lot less either.

Basically, as the others said, politely tell your parents that you appreciate their offer to pay for medical school, but you applied and got into med school, you're going to attend med school, and you are not going to blow your one acceptance because of their offer to pay if you reapply and if you are accepted to a "better" medical school. You will finance medical school yourself.

Best,
Linda

 

[Obnoxious Dad]

Your parents probably think you will be the second coming of Harvey Cushing. They just might be a tad biased. There's a reason that you only got in off the waitlist. It probably has to do with how your MCAT/GPA, even though they are probably great in absolute terms, compared with the rest of the applicant pool. Instead of talking to them about this, write a thorough presentation of medical school admissions data starting with the AAMC tables and MSAR. Let them know how many worthy candidates never get admitted to an allopathic medical school. If you're a resident of a state that has higher than average MCAT and GPA scores among matriculants, show them this table.
https://www.aamc.org/media/6076/download?attachment

You can also show them the residency match at the medical school to which you have been accepted. If that doesn't convince them, you will know you tried. If they won't help you, that's life.

Take the acceptance, borrow only what you need and don't look back. If you turn this acceptance down, you will look like a flake. Finally, don't let this ruin your relationship with your parents. They will cry tears of joy when you graduate and have MD after your name.

 

[Goro]

To follow up Dad's wise advice above, your salary as an attending will be the same as one who graduated from the "better" school.

 

[RunnerDad]

Whether or not schools can see your acceptance or your declining of it, given that you were accepted to exactly one school, you are playing Russian Roulette with multiple loaded chambers if you say no and reapply with the grand hope of getting a better offer next time. There may not be a next time. Take the W, eat the debt if you have to, go to the school that wants you and that the universe believes is right for you, and become the doctor you want to be. I'm a parent of a premed, and you're welcome to quote me.

 

[Sandman23]

Look, we should respect our elders, educated people generally, etc. However, here's a list of things my parents or authority figures have advised me to do in the past several years in high school/undergrad/med school:

-pay $200,000 for undergrad to be premed "for the alumni network"
- go to Vanderbilt for medical school, even though I'm 99% set on primary care
- work a 36 hour hospital shift "for the experience"

I don't want to sound arrogant, but not all older people are actually wise. There is a Bible verse about that or something.

Edit: I felt bad about this post because our society tends to glorify youth to an unusual degree. I guess what made me write this was that I grew up VERY authoritarian culturally, and it took me a bit to realize I had to forge my own path. That's all I'm saying

Dang, I didn't know there's a Bible verse on this. Much respect to you brosephus. I found it

Job 32:9 NKJV
Great men are not always wise,
Nor do the aged always understand justice.

 

[LindaAccepted]

Dang, I didn't know there's a Bible verse on this. Much respect to you brosephus. I found it

Job 32:9 NKJV
Great men are not always wise,
Nor do the aged always understand justice.

And no human being is always right.

 

[Angus Avagadro]

As usual, excellent advice by my learned colleagues above. Just to point out the parents might be partially correct. We don't know if the school is a new or newer school,( having not delivered a graduating class yet). New schools have some issues with getting their faculty and curriculum up to speed in the first few years, along with obtaining clinical sites. They have yet to establish a regional reputation with hospitals and residencies. Having said all that, I don't think you would apply to a med school that you didn't want to attend. So, take the A and go be the best doctor you can be. You are in charge of your destiny now, so make the most of it. Congrats on the admission and becoming a doctor.

 

[LizzyM]

I heard from someone who actually did turn down an offer and reapply that technically only that school will know but sometimes other schools somehow know too. A little spooky, maybe adcoms talk to each other? 🤔

Schools are unlikely to talk to one another about specific applicants (ain't nobody got time for that) but next year or the year after someone may look at your application, your MCAT, your graduation date and say, "this one should have gotten in earlier... I wonder why not? might be arrogant, clueless, applied too narrowly, has no personality and interviewed poorly, or whatever. We might want to take a pass." And that's why it can be hard to be successful as an applicant who reapplies despite being good enough to get an offer in an earlier cycle.