Help, We Got Into Separate Medical Schools!!!!!!!

[weicao]

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Is it possible to transfer from a DO school to a MD school? I'm asking because my husband was accepted to a MD school and I was accepted to a DO school in a different state. We have a 10 year old son and I don't want to separate him from his father. Any help is appreciated. BTW, each of us only got into one school (him-michigan, me-georgia). Any help is appreciated.

 

[EEL08]

Would your husband be able to maybe do a five year program at his school and then you apply there next year so that way you guys would still be on track for graduation together? I'm actually not sure about transferring. Generally I've heard it can be done but I think it's very hard to accomplish. My husband and I are both applying this year to DO schools only so we might have to deal with this same issue. I would absolutely not split up your family even for the two years until rotations start. How does your husband feel about the situation?

 

[EEL08]

Oh and are either of you waitlisted at the other's school?

 

[girlsporty]

Did your husband apply to PCOM-GA or just to allo programs?

 

[twolfbear]

See if it is possible to have him do a md/phd program, and then you could apply for next year and see if you could get in there. Other than that, I don't know how to help.

 

[Laker]

Go with him, do a masters for a year either at Wayne State or MSU or UofM, then reapply. MSU will have a DO campus in the Detroit Area, or after a masters, you might be able to get into MSU, Wayne or UofM MD programs...

 

[Depakote]

It is possible to transfer between schools, but it usually requires extreme circumstances (such as yours).

Unfortunately, while policies vary from school to school, they tend to only allow transfer after Year 2 and successful passing of step I of the boards.

Your case is slightly more complicated as it would be difficult for your husband to transfer from MD to a DO school due to his not receiving OMM training. I do not know if they would allow him to "make it up" in some facet prior to his clinical years or not.

Needless to say, this is a discussion you need to have with the schools you've both been accepted to. See if some sort of arrangement can't be worked out but one of you may have to re-apply.

 

[fabu1ous]

Is it possible to transfer from a DO school to a MD school? I'm asking because my husband was accepted to a MD school and I was accepted to a DO school in a different state. We have a 10 year old son and I don't want to separate him from his father. Any help is appreciated. BTW, each of us only got into one school (him-michigan, me-georgia). Any help is appreciated.

Weicao, I'm so sorry that you and your husband are in this predicament. But I am a little concerned that you guys would consider the option of residing in two separate states to attend medical school. I'm currently waitlisted, and TRUST me, I know how strong my desire is to get accepted, and how you both must feel having received an acceptance.

But for me, personally, being married and mom of 2, going to medical school is second to my family. In your case, your 10 year old would go through what is equivalent to his parent's going through a divorce/separation to allow you both to follow your dream-- which is ultimately your career. But as it stands right now, I think you both owe it to your son to make sacrifices (including one of you possibly putting off your medical career/education just for a year) to keep your family as a unit. Med school is hard enough as it is without the support of your family, but if you end up separating your family, will u really feel it is worth it at the end?

My suggestion, one of you decline your acceptance, take this year to strengthen your application, and get into either the same school, or one central to you both... please, please, please keep your family together-- it will so pay off in the end. Best to you!

 

[cheezer]

or her husband could wait it out and follow her to school

 

[blues91776]

just to put it on the table, consider asking for a deferment, as a last resort, so you guys can be together for a year or two while one person is attending med school

 

[lrobin15]

You need to defer at PCOM-GA for the sake of your family. In doing so would allow you a year to apply to your husband's school and others nearby this coming application season -or vica versa. Frankly, who ever has the stronger application should defer and reapply so the greater chance of getting in. I think PCOM-GA would take into consideration your circumstance if he applied there for next year.

Congrats on the both of you getting in to med school, I do feel sorry for your son though. Good luck with your decisions

 

[San_Juan_Sun]

or her husband could wait it out and follow her to school

This isn't about gender politics. It's about a 10 year old kid.

Good luck OP.

 

[VALSALVA]

This isn't about gender politics. It's about a 10 year old kid.

Good luck OP.

Ding Ding Ding...there's the winner. I just love it when people want to have their cake and eat it too. To the OP: one of you needs to stay out of school for a year, two years, ten years, forever...whatever.

 

[Amy B]

I feel badly for the OP here. I think there is no easy solution for her.

Moving with your husband and hoping to get in there holds no guarentees though. This is one of those hard choices in life. What if you both do your 1st and 2nd years and then try to set up rotations nearer to each other? That is the only thing I can see will work and have both of you following your dreams of becoming doctors. 2 years seems like a loooooong time, but it will go fast!

There is a lot of miles between those 2 schools though, so that is really going to be hard on the whole family. We have had a number of families in my school that have been split up. And yes, it is very hard for them but some of them just graduated and teh others will graduate next year. SO it can be done. Sorry you are having to go through this. Good luck in setting something up that works out!!

 

[ShyRem]

OP: See if you can defer for a year, move to Michigan, and then apply to MSU (DO and MD side) as instate resident.

While I am generally loathe to tell people to forego an acceptance of any kind to medical school, your case is an exception. As a mother of a 9 and 12 yo myself (and just finished my own MSI), while I know you're just dying to get started I also know how hard this would be without my family here. But ultimately, you need to decide what's best for you. I do know it's darn near impossible to transfer between MSI and MSII years, and difficult at best to transfer between MSII and MSIII years. Your best bet would be deferment or flat out turning down one of the schools and reapply.

Good luck to you. Keep us posted.

 

[MossPoh]

I think you need to look into any possible option, call both schools up, whatever you can do...just list stuff off and see about it. If nothing works out, then one of you needs to hold off. If you were accepted to a school within 2-300 miles I'd say it would be doable....but you're talking a shade over a 1000 miles I think, and that is just too much to realistically see someone on a regular basis. There really is not an easy answer for this....someone has to put their dreams on hold most likely. The kid being 10 is a LITTLE better, because then you don't go through the agony of the younger age stuff...that is kind of the point where they'd understand...but it is also critical years to have both parents around all the time. Also.....I'm sure it'd be nice to keep him/her in the same school system for more than 3 or 4 years....

 

[Amy B]

This would be a big concern for me if I was in her shoes... what if she doesnt take this only acceptance she got this year and goes up north, reapplies and does not get in? As much as I would like to say I would be a saint and not be upset for the rest of my life, in all likelihood I bet I would be resentful for not keeping my acceptance.

Believe me when I say family and family time is VERY VERY VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just think she should not be so fast to be the one to let go of a dream.

 

[UnderdogMD]

Is it possible to transfer from a DO school to a MD school? I'm asking because my husband was accepted to a MD school and I was accepted to a DO school in a different state. We have a 10 year old son and I don't want to separate him from his father. Any help is appreciated. BTW, each of us only got into one school (him-michigan, me-georgia). Any help is appreciated.

Wait, you have a 10 year old son and you both want to go to med school? I feel bad for the kid. Why have kids if you don't have the time (I don't care what you say because you won't) or the desire to care for them in the best way possible. I say one parent go to med school, the other wait 4 or 5 years and then follow.

 

[Dr JPH]

You must have known that this was a potential outcome when you applied to schools in different states.

If staying together as a family was the most important factor then I would think you would have both sat down and applied to schools within a localized geographic area.

I call on this post.

 

[VALSALVA]

OP: See if you can defer for a year, move to Michigan, and then apply to MSU (DO and MD side) as instate resident.

While I am generally loathe to tell people to forego an acceptance of any kind to medical school, your case is an exception. As a mother of a 9 and 12 yo myself (and just finished my own MSI), while I know you're just dying to get started I also know how hard this would be without my family here. But ultimately, you need to decide what's best for you. I do know it's darn near impossible to transfer between MSI and MSII years, and difficult at best to transfer between MSII and MSIII years. Your best bet would be deferment or flat out turning down one of the schools and reapply.

Good luck to you. Keep us posted.

1. Hold the phone here...why should this case be an exception? Because she has kids? Are you kidding me? We all make choices and we all have different lifeplans. Many people (including myself) have made the sacrifice of waiting for kids because of the career we've chosen. Now you want us to take a back seat to someone who chose to have kids and is now trying to ignore them?? Like I stated earlier, you can't have your cake and eat it too.

2. No sorry...the OP needs to decide what's best for her children. When they're out of the house, she can do what she wants.

 

[Amy B]

Hey, dont you think you are being too hard on her? It is clear she is a nontraditional student who has gone back to school. It is true we all make choices in our lives. Sometimes those choices are very hard to make. Just because someone is in medical school and has children does NOT make them bad parents. I personally think the families with kids in my class have been doing QUITE well in balancing family and schooling. It is a fulltime job of course, But it can be done and that doesnt make the kids a bunch of little neglected blobs pushed aside into a corner.

She is hardly trying to ignore her child now and I think that is an unfair statement to make about her.

 

[tcamdg]

I feel badly for the OP here.

I feel badly for the child that his parents are even considering this situation. ...but enough of the snide comments.

OP, allow me to summarize/highlight current suggestions and add some of my own:

One of you doesn't start med school this year. Just don't do it. The schools aren't going anywhere. And in case you're worried about not getting accepted again, check this out for a personal statement topic: "I was accepted, my dream had become a reality, but I made the sacrifice and put my dream on hold because I love and treasure my son and my family. But now I'm back, [I've improved my MCAT score, I have this much more clinical and/or other experience, I've aced these post-grad sci classes, etc.,] and your school would be stupid to turn down someone so dedicated, driven, talented, genuinely caring, wise, mature, etc." (I hate to say this, because with a 10 year old you're probably my elder...but in my humble opinion what you're considering is flat out foolish and immature. If there are extenuating circumstances--I'm having trouble thinking of any--that necessitate both of you starting med school the same year, then I apologize.)

Try to talk one of the schools into letting you defer for two years (highly doubtful) and try to get clinical rotations near the other's school. Or just defer one year to minimize the time apart. You'll still have to consider how neglected your son will be or will feel with both of you in med school.

Explore options, as others have noted or as you might find out through your own investigation, that would minimize your time apart. Still consider how neglected...

Or maybe you can just both start this year and everything will be fine. I've heard that couples sometimes have relationship troubles when one starts med school and the other feels neglected, so maybe it's better for you and your husband if you're both in school. But how will it affect your son? My guess is you would want to look at three things: how the father leaving for years (I'm sure there's something written on the topic after WWII) impacts children, how a single mother taking on med school or other highly time-consuming endeavor affects children (maybe there's something written, but there are at least single moms on SDN), and try to estimate what the affect on your son will be from both of those situations.

In any event, I wish you and your family the best of luck!

 

[dizzle69]

Firstly, to the poster who claimed that the husband should defer to wait to go to the GA osteo school is ridiculous. The MD School in Mich is likely to be much better than the school in GA. Yes, even Wayne St. I'd say is better.

SHE is the one who should hold off and defer.

In addition, did HE not consider applying to GA schools and why didn't SHE apply to Michigan schools? I don't know how many Mich DO schools there are (I have heard of MSU -- real pricey), but I'm sure there's a fair amount.

Personally, IF you 2 will continue with this w/o a reapp from the OP, I'd say the child stays with the mommy in this case.

I have to agree though, this post sounds fishy. Whatever, good luck.

 

[EEL08]

In addition, did HE not consider applying to GA schools and why didn't SHE apply to Michigan schools?

I'm thinking they both did apply to the same schools but they were just accepted to different ones. I'm still wondering if either of them is waitlisted at the other's school.

 

[GoSouthernGo]

OP - Just for more anecdotal evidence, my mom went to med school starting when I was 10. We saw her a couple times a month because she was 2.5 hours from home and my dad was on call a lot and couldn't leave.

My younger brother and I turned out just fine, and my parents are still married (this was in 1987-1991).

So when people here say absolutely don't split up your family - well, you need to do what YOU think is good for your family. I'm just letting you know it worked for us, but I also know our situation wouldn't have worked for the majority of families. My parents really love each other and were prepared for the separation. And my brother and I tried not to give them a hard time.

Good luck in your decision - like I said you gotta do what you gotta do. A lot of the advice here isn't bad, though. Talk it over with your husband and kid.

 

[VALSALVA]

Hey, dont you think you are being too hard on her? It is clear she is a nontraditional student who has gone back to school. It is true we all make choices in our lives. Sometimes those choices are very hard to make. Just because someone is in medical school and has children does NOT make them bad parents. I personally think the families with kids in my class have been doing QUITE well in balancing family and schooling. It is a fulltime job of course, But it can be done and that doesnt make the kids a bunch of little neglected blobs pushed aside into a corner.

She is hardly trying to ignore her child now and I think that is an unfair statement to make about her.

No! The OP clearly stated, "I don't want to separate him from his father." If the OP really feels this way, then that only leaves one real question: should applicants be favored just because that would make it easier for a family to stay together? That's what the OP really wants to know. Assuming the OP was rejected from the Michigan school, there's no reason to believe she'd be accepted a second time around without padding her resume somehow. In order to do that, she's going to have to spend a considerable amount of time away from home anyhow.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

Hey, dont you think you are being too hard on her? It is clear she is a nontraditional student who has gone back to school. It is true we all make choices in our lives. Sometimes those choices are very hard to make. Just because someone is in medical school and has children does NOT make them bad parents. I personally think the families with kids in my class have been doing QUITE well in balancing family and schooling. It is a fulltime job of course, But it can be done and that doesnt make the kids a bunch of little neglected blobs pushed aside into a corner.

She is hardly trying to ignore her child now and I think that is an unfair statement to make about her.

Thanks for being the voice of reason here, Amy! 👍

 

[tcamdg]

Just because someone is in medical school and has children does NOT make them bad parents. I personally think the families with kids in my class have been doing QUITE well in balancing family and schooling.

That's the issue that quite a few posters are addressing...it seems prohibitively difficult, if not impossible, to provide that balance and be good parents in the stated circumstances. When one parent is several hundred miles away in med school, AND the other parent is focusing heavily on med school, that's quite different from a family being together and only one parent in school (or even, as mentioned by GoSouthernGo, one parent a mere 2.5 hours away and the other on call, or a single mom going to school). What one "is trying" to do and what one actually accomplishes can be completely different, even opposed.

That someone is seriously considering a situation like this, absent some unmentioned and extremely substantial support system, is more than a little ridiculous. I concur:


If this is for real...I hope they think things through very carefully, and I sincerely hope everything turns out well for them...especially the kid, who is somewhat at the mercy of his parents.

 

[Orthodoc40]

You must have known that this was a potential outcome when you applied to schools in different states.

If staying together as a family was the most important factor then I would think you would have both sat down and applied to schools within a localized geographic area.

I call on this post.

Definitely agree. OP is trolling...

 

[UnderdogMD]

my 2 cents...Even if she is a troll.

Sometimes I don't get nontrads. The goal is never to not be bad parents (double negative I know). The goal is to be the best parents possible. Just because a situation is workable doesn't mean it is okay. Is there nobody else who thinks 2 parents in med school with a 10 year old is ridiculous. I think that both parents are by the very definition-selfish. I believe that as a parent your child's comfort and happiness supercedes your own at all times. The two are not mutually exclusive but when only one or the other is possible, your child wins-always. If medschool was such a priority for the OP maybe she should not have married and god forbid had a kid. 👎

 

[Crookshanks]

Well, I certainly don't think the OP is a troll, in fact, I see my self being stuck in this EXACT same situation in about 2 years. My S.O. and I both are going to be applying for the class starting Fall 2009, and we have a child as well.

As someone mentioned, giving up your life dream isn't the automatic answer. If one person gives it up, and then never gets accepted again, they WILL feel resentful. Taking care of the needs of your child is extremely important, HOWEVER, we cannot just stop existing the moment we become parents. Some of you who've posted have been very judgmental, and I don't think it's fair. We all have the need to find fulfillment in our lives, without it we may not find happiness, and children of unhappy parents do not do so well.

To the OP, I'm not saying you should both go ahead and go to different schools. I think that long distance relationships are possible, but they're very hard. If you were in the same state, I'd be more inclined to advise you to go ahead and go, however, being so far apart might not be a good thing for a family. You have to realize what you're risking...my biggest concern is not your son and how often he sees his father...by biggest concern is if your relationship would survive the distance.

I recommend visiting mommd.com. It's a forum for mother's who want to be or are doctors. They might have something more to say, from a motherly perspective. Best of luck to you and GOD I hope I don't end up in the same situation!

 

[w a n g]

i thought only one person in a family was allowed to become a doctor with the other submitting, following, and choosing an ancillary career role

 

[tcamdg]

i thought only one person in a family was allowed to become a doctor with the other submitting, following, and choosing an ancillary career role

Moderators: I request that this thread be closed before it degenerates further.

Everyone else: Please don't feed this known troll. (View "w a n g's" posting history. Also please note the slang meaning of "wang"...)

 

[CCEMTP2DOC]

my 2 cents...Even if she is a troll.

Sometimes I don't get nontrads. The goal is never to not be bad parents (double negative I know). The goal is to be the best parents possible. Just because a situation is workable doesn't mean it is okay. Is there nobody else who thinks 2 parents in med school with a 10 year old is ridiculous. I think that both parents are by the very definition-selfish. I believe that as a parent your child's comfort and happiness supercedes your own at all times. The two are not mutually exclusive but when only one or the other is possible, your child wins-always. If medschool was such a priority for the OP maybe she should not have married and god forbid had a kid. 👎

I have to agree. NOt only do you have to worry about 4years with both parents in med school, then you have residency. Who's to say you get the same hospital, area, or speciality? I am lucky to have an incredible spouse who is willing to be there for me and the family. I have a 10 and 9 year old, I couldn't imagine seeing them every whenever. That's just not acceptable. When we have children, we then give up our right to put ourselves first,point blank. If it works out for the betterment of the family, then fine, but if not, you need to suck it up and wait, or choose something else. I say one of them needs to wait. I am 40 and applying next year, so it is ok to wait, perhaps not ideal, but definitely doable. My family will be with me. I have worked HARD to better my chances to get into a school near to my home. I too live in Michigan, so I am hoping to get into one of the schools. I have been able to balance very well, once again I have an INCREDIBLE spouse, and have maintained a 3.7 gpa and 3.55 sci gpa, all while working 60 hours a week. I have been able to spend probably more time with my kids, as I work 2 24 hour shifts as a paramedic. So, in closing, if you want it bad enough, it can be done. But to subject your child(ren) to both parents attending med school is unfair and selfish. Good luck in your decision, and remember your child is only young once and he is approaching a very important time where he will need his father's guidence.


Rob

 

[w a n g]

Moderators: I request that this thread be closed before it degenerates further.

Everyone else: Please don't feed this known troll. (View "w a n g's" posting history. Also please note the slang meaning of "wang"...)

im pretty sure online forums are for discussions on iffy, maybe even "trivial" topics at times.

also, im pretty sure wang is a last name.

also, your post was pretty meaningless. betcha this thread wont be closed!

 

[Noeljan]

I have to agree. NOt only do you have to worry about 4years with both parents in med school, then you have residency. Who's to say you get the same hospital, area, or speciality? I am lucky to have an incredible spouse who is willing to be there for me and the family. I have a 10 and 9 year old, I couldn't imagine seeing them every whenever. That's just not acceptable. When we have children, we then give up our right to put ourselves first,point blank. If it works out for the betterment of the family, then fine, but if not, you need to suck it up and wait, or choose something else. I say one of them needs to wait. I am 40 and applying next year, so it is ok to wait, perhaps not ideal, but definitely doable. My family will be with me. I have worked HARD to better my chances to get into a school near to my home. I too live in Michigan, so I am hoping to get into one of the schools. I have been able to balance very well, once again I have an INCREDIBLE spouse, and have maintained a 3.7 gpa and 3.55 sci gpa, all while working 60 hours a week. I have been able to spend probably more time with my kids, as I work 2 24 hour shifts as a paramedic. So, in closing, if you want it bad enough, it can be done. But to subject your child(ren) to both parents attending med school is unfair and selfish. Good luck in your decision, and remember your child is only young once and he is approaching a very important time where he will need his father's guidence.


Rob

Why would two parents in med school be sooo selfish? I know plenty of two doctor couples. If they can make it work, good for them. You are saying you youself worked 60 hour weeks while in school. So were you neglecting your kids? Did they not have to see you at all? I'm not trying to be mean, but I think you are. Not everyone has the "perfect" spouse at home. :
Anyways, good luck OP. It would be a lot easier if you were at the same school though.

 

[CCEMTP2DOC]

Why would two parents in med school be sooo selfish? I know plenty of two doctor couples. If they can make it work, good for them. You are saying you youself worked 60 hour weeks while in school. So were you neglecting your kids? Did they not have to see you at all? I'm not trying to be mean, but I think you are. Not everyone has the "perfect" spouse at home. :
Anyways, good luck OP. It would be a lot easier if you were at the same school though.

Actually, I will guarentee that I saw my kids more than someone who worked a 40 hour M-F job and went to school. I worked 3 days a week, and yet I saw my kids wake up every morning and help put them to bed 5 nights a week(sometimes I was able to sneak home and put them to bed the other 2). As far as school, Iwent to class when they were in school, and was home by 5 at the latest. I was lucky that I had a job that allowed not so conventional hours. If I had to work M-F and go to school at night, I wouldn't have done it, at least not pre -med. I attended 90% of their ec's , as I was able to get coverage or trade shifts. Some of my gen ed classes i took online, so as to be home. I assure you I am not trying to be mean, just practacal. Kids need 2 parents. I understand it is not always possible, be we as a society don't need to exacerbate the problem by putting our dreams and desires in front of what is best for our children. Believe me, I have made mistakes, but I have always tried to put my kids first and would give this journey up in a heartbeat if I thought my kids would suffer. I admire the OP for trying to provide a better life for their family, but in my opinion, hey need to look at putting one off and trying later. I wouldn't be crazy about the idea, but if they could get into the same school. at least they would be together as a family. Also, I am definitely
a big advocate for children, as unfortunately many of the calls I go on the parents are not. All I can ask the OP to do is look honestly at their situation and do what is best for for her family. She ask for some opinions and she got some. Now it is her job to filter through and decipher what is best for them. I am not an advocate of two parent homes where kids are put into day care, so the parents can have a nicer car or house. I understand that many couples need to utilize day care and are left no decision with this less than stellar economy. But please, don't remove one of the parents from the equation as a result of a CHOICE you made to fulfill your dream. Remember, children are precious and many times all they want are our love and attention. If you both go to med school, one of you will be away from your son, and honestly how much can the other one really give,as they too will be undergoing the rigors of med school. I believe that if you give your all for school, your son will suffer, and conversley, your school may very well suffer if you give your son the attention he deserves. Please, just think about it and do what you feel is right for everyone. Nothing I or anyone else says can take place of what's in your heart, Good luck


Rob

 

[Noeljan]

Actually, I will guarentee that I saw my kids more than someone who worked a 40 hour M-F job and went to school. I worked 3 days a week, and yet I saw my kids wake up every morning and help put them to bed 5 nights a week(sometimes I was able to sneak home and put them to bed the other 2). As far as school, Iwent to class when they were in school, and was home by 5 at the latest. I was lucky that I had a job that allowed not so conventional hours. If I had to work M-F and go to school at night, I wouldn't have done it, at least not pre -med. I attended 90% of their ec's , as I was able to get coverage or trade shifts. Some of my gen ed classes i took online, so as to be home. I assure you I am not trying to be mean, just practacal. Kids need 2 parents. I understand it is not always possible, be we as a society don't need to exacerbate the problem by putting our dreams and desires in front of what is best for our children. Believe me, I have made mistakes, but I have always tried to put my kids first and would give this journey up in a heartbeat if I thought my kids would suffer. I admire the OP for trying to provide a better life for their family, but in my opinion, hey need to look at putting one off and trying later. I wouldn't be crazy about the idea, but if they could get into the same school. at least they would be together as a family. Also, I am definitely
a big advocate for children, as unfortunately many of the calls I go on the parents are not. All I can ask the OP to do is look honestly at their situation and do what is best for for her family. She ask for some opinions and she got some. Now it is her job to filter through and decipher what is best for them. I am not an advocate of two parent homes where kids are put into day care, so the parents can have a nicer car or house. I understand that many couples need to utilize day care and are left no decision with this less than stellar economy. But please, don't remove one of the parents from the equation as a result of a CHOICE you made to fulfill your dream. Remember, children are precious and many times all they want are our love and attention. If you both go to med school, one of you will be away from your son, and honestly how much can the other one really give,as they too will be undergoing the rigors of med school. I believe that if you give your all for school, your son will suffer, and conversley, your school may very well suffer if you give your son the attention he deserves. Please, just think about it and do what you feel is right for everyone. Nothing I or anyone else says can take place of what's in your heart, Good luck


Rob

I see what you are saying, but her child is 10 years old. I assume he is in school?? Some medical schools get out of class pretty early (and I have heard of some students with kids who don't go to class). Now, what good would it serve for her to be home all day with her child in school? If she could go to class and be home for him at night, I think it's fine. I know plenty of people with two working parents (or sometimes only one single parent with 1 or 2 jobs). If the kid was say, 10 months then it might be different. I agree about the distance thing though. I personally wouldn't do it if I was in the same situation and we had to live so far apart while in med school. However, I would do it if I were in her situation and we got into the same school. I actually think it would be quite the experience, and how could your spouse understand more of what your are going through (than to go through it with you). I don't think that makes them bad parents. Maybe OP you could improve your app and then reapply.
good luck.

 

[GoSouthernGo]

I wonder if people complain if farmer's children are neglected too, especially during the summer.

Or what about servicemen and women?

People are always quick to pass judgment 🙄

 

[CCEMTP2DOC]

I see what you are saying, but her child is 10 years old. I assume he is in school?? Some medical schools get out of class pretty early (and I have heard of some students with kids who don't go to class). Now, what good would it serve for her to be home all day with her child in school? If she could go to class and be home for him at night, I think it's fine. I know plenty of people with two working parents (or sometimes only one single parent with 1 or 2 jobs). If the kid was say, 10 months then it might be different. I agree about the distance thing though. I personally wouldn't do it if I was in the same situation and we had to live so far apart while in med school. However, I would do it if I were in her situation and we got into the same school. I actually think it would be quite the experience, and how could your spouse understand more of what your are going through (than to go through it with you). I don't think that makes them bad parents. Maybe OP you could improve your app and then reapply.
good luck.

Very true about with the child being 10 it being easier. Just don't like the distance thing. We will agree to disagree about this, I just know I couldn't or wouldn't do it. Maybe I am too weak?

Rob

 

[CCEMTP2DOC]

QUOTE=GoSouthernGo;5335131]I wonder if people complain if farmer's children are neglected too, especially during the summer.

Or what about servicemen and women?

People are always quick to pass judgment 🙄[/QUOTE]

If this was intended for me🙂rolleyes:🙄) I was not passing judgement, just giving my 👎ever so humble opinion. I believe farmers are often still at home and their children often work side by side. As for our wonderful service men and women, their deployments are not always in their power, so they have to go when they have to go. God Bless them and their families. They, as well as the mom or dad left behind, are the real heroes.

 

[tcamdg]

People are always quick to pass judgment 🙄

Yep, quick to accuse, too. It's too bad, really, we could have much more productive discussions if we focused on the opposing argument rather than the opposition's supposed intent or straw men born of prejudice.

 

[GoSouthernGo]

If this was intended for me🙂rolleyes:🙄) I was not passing judgement, just giving my 👎ever so humble opinion. I believe farmers are often still at home and their children often work side by side. As for our wonderful service men and women, their deployments are not always in their power, so they have to go when they have to go. God Bless them and their families. They, as well as the mom or dad left behind, are the real heroes.

If it was intended for you, I would have quoted you 🙄🙄🙄 (is this now a pissing contest???).

In the right family, the OP's situation could be doable. Opinion is one thing, but for some posting here to tell the OP they are a selfish/bad parent is another.

I expect this kind of response in pre-allo, but not from pre-osteo. Usually pre-osteo folks are more supportive, and if they disagree, at least they don't intend make the OP feel like crap.

 

[GoSouthernGo]

Yep, quick to accuse, too. It's too bad, really, we could have much more productive discussions if we focused on the opposing argument rather than the opposition's supposed intent or straw men born of prejudice.

see my previous comments on pre-allo vs. pre-osteo.

 

[lilnoelle]

I wonder if people complain if farmer's children are neglected too, especially during the summer.

Or what about servicemen and women?

People are always quick to pass judgment 🙄

I saw my dad a lot during the summer, it was fall and spring that he left before dawn and got back after dark....

anyway.... I can see how this could happen. To those telling the Op to put her dreams on hold, have you considered that maybe she's been waiting 10 years already?

Having both parents in med school at the same time is not real ideal, but I agree that first year and second year are similar in work load to an intense job.

Its definitely not ideal to separate the family. I definitely wouldn't advise it - although I think people are being pretty hard on the Op. This kind of thing happens a lot. Think of all of the military families...

Theres another aspect of this that hasn't been mentioned yet... in addition to everything else (stress on marriage, hard on child) I wouldn't do it simply because for all intensive purposes the Op would be a "single mom" in med school. It would be pretty difficult to handle all of that alone, in addition to the stresses of med school.

 

[lilnoelle]

I believe farmers are often still at home and their children often work side by side. As for our wonderful service men and women, their deployments are not always in their power, so they have to go when they have to go. God Bless them and their families. They, as well as the mom or dad left behind, are the real heroes.

Nope, see earlier answer. My Dad was pretty much absent all fall and spring. It wasn't a problem, in fact, I expected it. My brothers spent a lot of time "working side by side" with my dad, and I have some good memories hanging out with him in the combine/tractor, but for the most part, he was absent during those times.

As a person married to a Marine and who has many military friends, I think I can say this without ticking anyone off. Individuals in the military make their own choices. Being in the military gets in their blood - its not all unselfish. They like it. They may not be able to choose when they go, but they signed up for it knowing that they were going to have to leave and be separated from their family.

 

[CCEMTP2DOC]

Nope, see earlier answer. My Dad was pretty much absent all fall and spring. It wasn't a problem, in fact, I expected it. My brothers spent a lot of time "working side by side" with my dad, and I have some good memories hanging out with him in the combine/tractor, but for the most part, he was absent during those times.

As a person married to a Marine and who has many military friends, I think I can say this without ticking anyone off. Individuals in the military make their own choices. Being in the military gets in their blood - its not all unselfish. They like it. They may not be able to choose when they go, but they signed up for it knowing that they were going to have to leave and be separated from their family.

First, Semper Fi, as a former Marine, I applaud your husband and you are 100% right they did sign up, But I have a lot of respect for those in the military and appreciate what tey are doing.(No, Ididn't see any action, my hitch was up just before Desert Storm.) I really didn't know much about farmers, just that they work really hard.

 

[CCEMTP2DOC]

If it was intended for you, I would have quoted you 🙄🙄🙄 (is this now a pissing contest???).

In the right family, the OP's situation could be doable. Opinion is one thing, but for some posting here to tell the OP they are a selfish/bad parent is another.

I expect this kind of response in pre-allo, but not from pre-osteo. Usually pre-osteo folks are more supportive, and if they disagree, at least they don't intend make the OP feel like crap.

LOL, let me get some water for our contest. 😎😎 As I stated earlier, we will agree to disagree. Neither of us are right and in the position to tell the OP what to do. All I will say, it is not right for me. Perhaps, it's because I am a weak parent, but I would never give up the opportunity to kiss my kids every morning before I go to work or school;it's just to important for me. That feeling dosen't make me a better parent, just my way. If a couple can make it work, without sacrificing for the child(ren), god bless them. If the couple were only 50-60 miles apart, my feelings may very well be different.

 

[GujuMD]

Talk about the situation with both the schools. since one of them is MD and the other one is DO, your situation is a bit tougher.

 

[MasonPrehealth]

This is definitely a subject to approach both student services offices in the schools that accepted you and get their advice. In the end you will likely have to decline one of the acceptances if keeping your family together is of utmost importance. You also could talk with your prehealth advisor about this, but unfortunately I can't see there is a simple way to have both your offers and your family together. But if there's anyone in the student services office that could help you, that would be it.

Maybe one of you can find a one-year technician job at one of the schools, or if there is a small temp position in the admin office at one of the schools. Not that I could say there are plenty of those types of positions available, but as a backup plan for moving, one of you could consider that.

Just approach it soon. There are still people on waiting lists who would like to know sooner than later that they've been moved off.