Help With Career? (please...I'm Desperate)

[bluebelle]

Okay, I'm about to graduate from high school (young, I know), but I have a serious dilemma. I initially thought I was going to be a pre-med major, but I watched a PBS documentary about med students (Doctors' Diaries) .. and was bawling and shaking through half of it. Watching the stress that they were going through made me realize that that career option wasn't for me. I want to help people, but if I'm worried about getting quizzed after an interaction with a patient or if I have to stay up late doing rounds... I won't be able to help anyone! Also...I was disappointed by the cool professionalism that doctors had towards dying patients...patients on drugs, etc. I'm more emotional (even though I don't show it) and sensitive... and slow-paced. I could not survive and I would be unhappy.
So, the obvious answer would be to pursue something else, right? I thought becoming a psychologist and opening my own private practice would be really suitable for me...and I was so happy just thinking about it. But ... there's my parents. They keep telling me to "go for the top" and get a really prestigious career. I understand where they're coming from..I mean, both of them grew up without a lot of money. Heck, as of now we don't really have much money. They just want me to be happy. But how can I be happy when I'm always stressed?
The thing is... psychologists don't make a lot of money.. (so I've heard). So that worries me. And it's not easy to open up a practice... also, graduate school costs a lot of money. (I definitely WANT to go to graduate school, I don't want to just get a Bachelor's or a Master's). I'm just at a loss...

1. How do I tell my parents I want to change my major to psychology and drop the pre-med idea?
2. Is this even a good idea in the first place? What if I regret it??? What if I end up on the streets? (half-joking)

The thing is... I just LOVE psychology... I love anything that has to do with the brain..the only biological thing that interests me is the BRAIN. I did a year long research project on Alzheimer's ... For the past two years, I've been obsessed with Jung, personality theories, random social experiments.... I'm even taking Intro to Psych now. And I want to learn MORE. I want to improve my communication skills so I can talk through problems... etc. It's a long road.....a tedious one too, but this stuff interests me so much. I feel motivated when I think about it.

I feel hopeless though... they're just going to yell at me and tell me that being psychologist is not a good enough career choice for me. And what if they're right? I don't know who to listen to anymore. And I don't know what to do. *starts singing a sad song*

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[TNS1991]

First, let me say that I don't blame you for not wanting to go to medical school. I too have heard horror stories from others, on TV and even a few bad stories on this board as well. While your parents may say "to reach for the top", getting to the top is not a very simple task. I would first explain to your parents how you do not feel medical school will be a good fit for you and that you may not be well suited to be a medical doctor. Saying what you typed in your message is a great explanation as to why. If they feel that you are not going to be happy with a job as a medical doctor, I don't see how they can argue with you. Especially since the only thing they want is for you to be happy!

As for the private practice thing, that is also not as easy as it sounds. Many clinical psychologist after they are handed their PhDs attempt to open a private practice and find they are unsuccessful. To have a successful pp you must not only be good at psychology, you have to be good at business and recruiting clients. I would strongly recommend researching a bit further before deciding a practice is what you want.

Do you know if there is a certain population of people you want to work with (e.g children, adults, people with a certain disorder) or if you want a more research based job? I ask this because there are many different fields within psychology other than clinical that you may find interesting. Also, do you still want to work in the healthcare field? There are other professions like speech pathology and occupational therapy where psychology classes can come in handy.

Also, on one final note, I don't think money should be your (or your parents) primary concern with a career. Yes you defiantly need enough money to get by, but a prestigious career does not necessarily mean a career with 100K+ salary. While psychologists may not earn much compared to other professions, many still earn a decent living. There is also still a lot of money that could potentially be earned in psychology if you are lucky. I would say find a potential career or field of study that interests you first, and then look up potential salaries to see if you can make a decent living off them.

 

[paramour]

So, the obvious answer would be to pursue something else, right? I thought becoming a psychologist and opening my own private practice would be really suitable for me...and I was so happy just thinking about it. But ... there's my parents. They keep telling me to "go for the top" and get a really prestigious career. I understand where they're coming from..I mean, both of them grew up without a lot of money. Heck, as of now we don't really have much money. They just want me to be happy. But how can I be happy when I'm always stressed?
The thing is... psychologists don't make a lot of money.. (so I've heard). So that worries me. And it's not easy to open up a practice... also, graduate school costs a lot of money. (I definitely WANT to go to graduate school, I don't want to just get a Bachelor's or a Master's). I'm just at a loss...

I can certainly understand and empathize with your fears (jokingly or not) about ending up on the streets and your desires to reach for the top with your parents' financial situation. My own family was homeless for a time (oh, great fun!), and it was not the greatest before/after. No one wants to be there. It gets in your (or my) head that you *have* to do better because you can't end up like that again. This can be a great motivator, but it also can be quite stressful!

Keep in mind that this is YOUR life; not your parents' (although this could be my own individualistic culture speaking here ). Do what is going to make you happy. Take some time to figure it out. There are many people who have yet to declare their majors or will change their majors umpteen times over the course of the next few years (or at the last minute in their last year or two) because they don't know quite yet what will suit them best. Your basic requirements will help guide you here as you're trying to decide if you want to go the med school route or go ahead with the psych route. I know a lot of students who reeeeally think they want to go that psych route and then back out as well (e.g., they didn't realize all the stats involved; they thought the courses were going to be easier).

More thoughts to think about financially: Medical school will require that you take out sh*tloads of money to pay for your education (granted, you are hopefully compensated for this in the longrun!), whereas for psych grad programs, you may be able to land a funded position (i.e., tuition remission and stipend) IF you are considered a competitive applicant. So, as soon as you decide YES, this is the path for me, start working in a research lab and doing whatever else necessary to make yourself that competitive applicant.

Otherwise, I agree with TNS's post below. If as you say, your parents want you to be happy, then they should be acceptable of whichever path you follow. No, you may not be as wealthy following psychology (if you pursue grad school) compared to medical school--but you're most likely not going to end up on the streets either.

G'luck!

First, let me say that I don't blame you for not wanting to go to medical school. I too have heard horror stories from others, on TV and even a few bad stories on this board as well. While your parents may say "to reach for the top", getting to the top is not a very simple task. I would first explain to your parents how you do not feel medical school will be a good fit for you and that you may not be well suited to be a medical doctor. Saying what you typed in your message is a great explanation as to why. If they feel that you are not going to be happy with a job as a medical doctor, I don't see how they can argue with you. Especially since the only thing they want is for you to be happy!

<snip>

Also, on one final note, I don't think money should be your (or your parents) primary concern with a career. Yes you defiantly need enough money to get by, but a prestigious career does not necessarily mean a career with 100K+ salary. While psychologists may not earn much compared to other professions, many still earn a decent living. There is also still a lot of money that could potentially be earned in psychology if you are lucky. I would say find a potential career or field of study that interests you first, and then look up potential salaries to see if you can make a decent living off them.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

I can certainly understand and empathize with your fears (jokingly or not) about ending up on the streets and your desires to reach for the top with your parents' financial situation. My own family was homeless for a time (oh, great fun!), and it was not the greatest before/after. No one wants to be there. It gets in your (or my) head that you *have* to do better because you can't end up like that again. This can be a great motivator, but it also can be quite stressful!

Keep in mind that this is YOUR life; not your parents' (although this could be my own individualistic culture speaking here ). Do what is going to make you happy. Take some time to figure it out. There are many people who have yet to declare their majors or will change their majors umpteen times over the course of the next few years (or at the last minute in their last year or two) because they don't know quite yet what will suit them best. Your basic requirements will help guide you here as you're trying to decide if you want to go the med school route or go ahead with the psych route. I know a lot of students who reeeeally think they want to go that psych route and then back out as well (e.g., they didn't realize all the stats involved; they thought the courses were going to be easier).

More thoughts to think about financially: Medical school will require that you take out sh*tloads of money to pay for your education (granted, you are hopefully compensated for this in the longrun!), whereas for psych grad programs, you may be able to land a funded position (i.e., tuition remission and stipend) IF you are considered a competitive applicant. So, as soon as you decide YES, this is the path for me, start working in a research lab and doing whatever else necessary to make yourself that competitive applicant.

Otherwise, I agree with TNS's post below. If as you say, your parents want you to be happy, then they should be acceptable of whichever path you follow. No, you may not be as wealthy following psychology (if you pursue grad school) compared to medical school--but you're most likely not going to end up on the streets either.

G'luck!

paramour makes great points. Just to add to their post re: the bolded portion, it could be very possible that you have a chance to participate in research which would boost both a med school and a psych grad school application (e.g., something in neuroscience). You've already apparently done some work in Alzheimer's, which is an example of a topic that significantly straddles the psych and med worlds. This would help you keep your options open as you go through college and continue figuring out what it is that you really want to do. Additionally, the "pre-psych" course load varies from program to program, but is generally much lighter than that for pre-med, so you could very well complete both (or "pre-psych" + something else if not pre-med) without undue hardship.

 

[deleted176373]

Okay, I'm about to graduate from high school (young, I know), but I have a serious dilemma. I initially thought I was going to be a pre-med major, but I watched a PBS documentary about med students (Doctors' Diaries) .. and was bawling and shaking through half of it. Watching the stress that they were going through made me realize that that career option wasn't for me.

I want to help people, but if I'm worried about getting quizzed after an interaction with a patient or if I have to stay up late doing rounds... I won't be able to help anyone!

Most people like to help people. Here's the problem though, if you think MD's get quizzed after interactions with patients (aka pimping sessions) badly. It's not less stressful as a psychology intern. I get questioned everyday (worse than our psychiatry residents I might add), we are pushed hard, and if you're the one in the spotlight of our training team it can be enormously stressful.

Also...I was disappointed by the cool professionalism that doctors had towards dying patients...patients on drugs, etc. I'm more emotional (even though I don't show it) and sensitive... and slow-paced. I could not survive and I would be unhappy.

You have to have that same professionalism as a psychologist. Nearly always in control of your emotions and presentation. Don't think for a minute that as a psychologist you get to not be a cool professional when a patient comes in and tells you that they are dying of a terminal disease or is watching a loved one die of a terminal disease. Imagine trying to do an interview with a man who had his arms and legs blown off, his face a wreck, and a morphine drip as a result of an improvised explosive device three days prior. You never know what setting you might end up in as a psychologist, and it may never be as bad as my last example (which was from my first year practicum), but you need to be able to turn on and off that cool professionalism as a psychologist too.

So, the obvious answer would be to pursue something else, right? I thought becoming a psychologist and opening my own private practice would be really suitable for me...and I was so happy just thinking about it. But ... there's my parents.

At some point this becomes your life. Live it the way you want. Although, I would seriously rethink the psychologist plan. It's a plan that requires you to develop the same mental toughness as a physician. You have to make tough choices sometimes and you have to be able to control and even manipulate your emotional state when you are hearing very difficult things.

They keep telling me to "go for the top" and get a really prestigious career. I understand where they're coming from..I mean, both of them grew up without a lot of money. Heck, as of now we don't really have much money. They just want me to be happy. But how can I be happy when I'm always stressed?

You won't be happy always being stressed, quite the opposite, you'll be miserable. Find something you really enjoy (but don't quite love) and become the best in the world at it. Usually that will lead you down a path and result in a level of success you can be happy with.

The thing is... psychologists don't make a lot of money.. (so I've heard). So that worries me. And it's not easy to open up a practice... also, graduate school costs a lot of money. (I definitely WANT to go to graduate school, I don't want to just get a Bachelor's or a Master's). I'm just at a loss...

You have a lot of time left to formulate a plan. In the meantime, I suggest you focus on how to get someone else to subsidize your education. Free is good.

1. How do I tell my parents I want to change my major to psychology and drop the pre-med idea?
2. Is this even a good idea in the first place? What if I regret it??? What if I end up on the streets? (half-joking)

See above

The thing is... I just LOVE psychology... I love anything that has to do with the brain..the only biological thing that interests me is the BRAIN. I did a year long research project on Alzheimer's ... For the past two years, I've been obsessed with Jung, personality theories, random social experiments.... I'm even taking Intro to Psych now. And I want to learn MORE. I want to improve my communication skills so I can talk through problems... etc. It's a long road.....a tedious one too, but this stuff interests me so much. I feel motivated when I think about it.

Why do you love psychology? What other fields would allow you to explore the brain and allow you to make money? (believe me there are many paths to working in a related field. Engineers, Scientists, Philosophy, etc.)

I feel hopeless though... they're just going to yell at me and tell me that being psychologist is not a good enough career choice for me. And what if they're right? I don't know who to listen to anymore. And I don't know what to do. *starts singing a sad song*

I don't think you have thought it all the way through yet. I don't think that yelling at you is going to help though. You need to be able to sit down and have a rational discussion and express the fact that you have this issue with being a medical student. Let them know that it's not going to work for you and ask them to help problem solve it with you. If they really want to best for you then they will try to help you figure out the best path forward.

 

[Doctor Eliza]

A lot of good insight from others on this thread. I agree with what Mark and others have said about not being able to avoid the things that worry you about med school by going to grad school. My grad school experience was nothing short of a nightmare. While I admit my program was probably worse than most, all programs have some element of this. Professors were cruel and constantly berated us. We were second guessed constantly. I remember my first supervisor listening to audiotapes of my sessions and criticizing literally every word choice I made. Grad school can be extremely high pressure.

I also want to stress to you that there is no reason you have to make a decision on this now. That's why every college lets people start as "undecided" or "undeclared" if they wish. If there is even a part of you considering medical school, take classes in a way that won't close that door to you. Back in the day when I was an undergrad, the only difference between premed and liberal arts/social science majors during the freshman year was that premeds took a slightly more demanding version of calculus and a chemsitry class (rather than a "fluffy" science class for non-majors). During the first year, you will likely be taking general education requirements, like English. It is a time to get a sense of what really interests you.

You don't have enough information at this point to know what it is like to be a psychology major, nevermind a psychologist. Without taking college-level psychology (one AP psych class in high school doesn't count) you don't even really know that you like psychology all that much. People have a lot of misconceptions about the major and the field. When I was an undergrad, some of my engineering friends took a psych class to fullfill a requirement. They thought it would be cake. The got C's because it was much harder than they expected and it wasn't the way their brain worked.

Colleges typically have free or low cost confidential counseling services available to their students. When you get to school, you might consider checking into this to talk about your relationship with your parents and find some strategies for dealing with them around the issue of your major. My parents also wanted me to be a "real" doctor. They still occassionally make a jab about that. Oh well. It's my life and I decided to be a clinical psychologist.

Enjoy your first year of college. You have plenty of time to worry about the rest of your life.

Best,
Dr. E

 

[ImGrumpy]

As everyone else has said, you have time. At 18, very few people really know what they want to do for the next 50 years or so! Generally, you just don't have exposure to enough different fields to make that decision. Some THINK they know and get to college and take a random course to fulfill a requirement and Bingo .. major change. Also, the path to medical school does not mean just biology or chemistry majors. Med schools take all kinds of majors, even History and Music!!!!!! As long as you have the required entry courses which will include organic chemistry, physics, calculus you are fine. Oh, many don't know this but with the development of the new MCAT, planned for release in 2015, there are additional courses that are being recommended. These include psychology and social sciences, which will be tested in new sections on the longer MCAT!!!!!! I've seen students decide on med school late who take all their med school prereqs senior year and stay one extra semester to finish them up.

I don't know how many AP credits you will enter with but I suggest that your Freshman year you include psychology (which you could eventually minor in if you go another major) and bump Math up to Calculus if you didn't do that AP. If you eventually go Neuroscience research instead of Private Practice Therapy the organic chemistry will look good on the transcript. If you do enter with AP credits, you will have some classes to play with and still get out in four years. Add one course that isn't in the straight degree line but sounds really interesting. You may just find a new passion. The first two years of college should definitely be a time of exploration. Don't box yourself in now.

Any chance of still doing some kind of medical shadowing for the summer? That will give you a better perspective than TV shows. Remember, those shows are edited to make the dramatic 24 hours a day. Don't talk with your parents now about not wanting medical school but research enough to tell them that by taking a degree that isn't Biology you are still on track for med school IF THAT IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE. Then laughingly say, who knows, I may want to be an Engineer or a Lawyer. I need to explore a little more Freshman year before I settle on a career choice so I want to go in as an undeclared major to keep my options open. They will see those as "prestige" careers and it begins to get them thinking something other than Med School. And who knows, you may find that handling the stress in a more detached way becomes easier for you as you mature.

Give yourself time to breathe. Transitioning to college is tough enough without creating additional stress. Once on campus, explore what you need to do to go to med school and law school and clinical psychology. One thing is common with all is you will need to keep a good GPA. Many look favorably on applicants that take a year or two after undergrad to get additional experience so you don't even have to "be grad/law/med school competitive" as soon as you graduate. And do take advantage of the counseling center on campus to both help you figure out your path and to help you deal with your parents. Once you have explored more, taken more classes and know your intending career field better, you will be better able to articulate your passion for the field to your parents. If they want what's best for you and what makes you happy, they will then be able to get on board with the life choices you make if that passion comes through.

 

[678886]

It bothers me when OP's ask for general advice like this and everyone trips over themselves to point out how stressful and unhappy grad school is and how horrible their program was. That might be enough to turn someone (young and undecided) away from the field. Sure, any career path worth following is stressful at times. Some programs are worse than others and not everyone will be happy doing any one thing. If money is the only/main concern here, psychology obviously isn't the way to go. If fulfillment is the goal, this career path may or may not be for you. Read up about it, talk to (happy) grad students, don't just listen to some people on the Internet. Also, how you feel about the stress level/intensity of certain career paths when you are in high school is probably not how you will feel years down the line. As many people have pointed out, college helps steer you in the right direction. I recommend getting some volunteer experience. I worked at psychiatric hospitals in a major city in my first few years of college and heard horrific stories everyday. It's a good way to find out whether this field suits you.

Someone mentioned this but didn't stress it enough, I feel: a PhD is ideally a debt-free route. Good, reputable programs will pay for you to attend. I'll be getting a JD and Clinical Psych PhD concurrently without going into any debt. Research these things if you are concerned about the burden of debt. Consider paths like Neuroscience, Experimental Psychology, or Cognitive Science if you might be interested in research. PhDs other than Clinical Psychology are more assuredly debt-free, as the high demand in Clinical Psych makes a completely fully-funded position more difficult to attain.

Finally, as others have said, this is your decision, not your parents'. Eventually, ideally, you'll find something that will keep you happy, challenged, and fulfilled. Enjoy your time in college and let that happen organically.

 

[bluebelle]

You have to have that same professionalism as a psychologist. Nearly always in control of your emotions and presentation. Don't think for a minute that as a psychologist you get to not be a cool professional when a patient comes in and tells you that they are dying of a terminal disease or is watching a loved one die of a terminal disease. Imagine trying to do an interview with a man who had his arms and legs blown off, his face a wreck, and a morphine drip as a result of an improvised explosive device three days prior. You never know what setting you might end up in as a psychologist, and it may never be as bad as my last example (which was from my first year practicum), but you need to be able to turn on and off that cool professionalism as a psychologist too.

Oh, I can control my emotions easily. I'm very stoic (in public/ with unfamiliar people). I should have explained myself better. Yes, I understand that psychologists have to be professional too, but I just like the fact that they try to help people's mental problems... instead of thinking about the person in terms of their physical problems.

 

[bluebelle]

It bothers me when OP's ask for general advice like this and everyone trips over themselves to point out how stressful and unhappy grad school is and how horrible their program was. That might be enough to turn someone (young and undecided) away from the field. Sure, any career path worth following is stressful at times. Some programs are worse than others and not everyone will be happy doing any one thing. If money is the only/main concern here, psychology obviously isn't the way to go. If fulfillment is the goal, this career path may or may not be for you. Read up about it, talk to (happy) grad students, don't just listen to some people on the Internet. Also, how you feel about the stress level/intensity of certain career paths when you are in high school is probably not how you will feel years down the line. As many people have pointed out, college helps steer you in the right direction. I recommend getting some volunteer experience. I worked at psychiatric hospitals in a major city in my first few years of college and heard horrific stories everyday. It's a good way to find out whether this field suits you.

Someone mentioned this but didn't stress it enough, I feel: a PhD is ideally a debt-free route. Good, reputable programs will pay for you to attend. I'll be getting a JD and Clinical Psych PhD concurrently without going into any debt. Research these things if you are concerned about the burden of debt. Consider paths like Neuroscience, Experimental Psychology, or Cognitive Science if you might be interested in research. PhDs other than Clinical Psychology are more assuredly debt-free, as the high demand in Clinical Psych makes a completely fully-funded position more difficult to attain.

Finally, as others have said, this is your decision, not your parents'. Eventually, ideally, you'll find something that will keep you happy, challenged, and fulfilled. Enjoy your time in college and let that happen organically.

Money isn't definitely the only thing I'm looking for. Psychiatric hospitals sound like a scary place to be - I definitely wouldn't want to be in that environment. Thank you for that advice ... I wonder where I could volunteer. The reason I posed this question on here is because I have no one else to talk to about this... if I knew some psychology graduate students, I would have asked them.
Also, thanks for that advice about PhD money costs. Your advice has reassured me the most...

 

[bluebelle]

As everyone else has said, you have time. At 18, very few people really know what they want to do for the next 50 years or so! Generally, you just don't have exposure to enough different fields to make that decision. Some THINK they know and get to college and take a random course to fulfill a requirement and Bingo .. major change. Also, the path to medical school does not mean just biology or chemistry majors. Med schools take all kinds of majors, even History and Music!!!!!! As long as you have the required entry courses which will include organic chemistry, physics, calculus you are fine. Oh, many don't know this but with the development of the new MCAT, planned for release in 2015, there are additional courses that are being recommended. These include psychology and social sciences, which will be tested in new sections on the longer MCAT!!!!!! I've seen students decide on med school late who take all their med school prereqs senior year and stay one extra semester to finish them up.

I don't know how many AP credits you will enter with but I suggest that your Freshman year you include psychology (which you could eventually minor in if you go another major) and bump Math up to Calculus if you didn't do that AP. If you eventually go Neuroscience research instead of Private Practice Therapy the organic chemistry will look good on the transcript. If you do enter with AP credits, you will have some classes to play with and still get out in four years. Add one course that isn't in the straight degree line but sounds really interesting. You may just find a new passion. The first two years of college should definitely be a time of exploration. Don't box yourself in now.

Any chance of still doing some kind of medical shadowing for the summer? That will give you a better perspective than TV shows. Remember, those shows are edited to make the dramatic 24 hours a day. Don't talk with your parents now about not wanting medical school but research enough to tell them that by taking a degree that isn't Biology you are still on track for med school IF THAT IS WHAT YOU CHOOSE. Then laughingly say, who knows, I may want to be an Engineer or a Lawyer. I need to explore a little more Freshman year before I settle on a career choice so I want to go in as an undeclared major to keep my options open. They will see those as "prestige" careers and it begins to get them thinking something other than Med School. And who knows, you may find that handling the stress in a more detached way becomes easier for you as you mature.

Give yourself time to breathe. Transitioning to college is tough enough without creating additional stress. Once on campus, explore what you need to do to go to med school and law school and clinical psychology. One thing is common with all is you will need to keep a good GPA. Many look favorably on applicants that take a year or two after undergrad to get additional experience so you don't even have to "be grad/law/med school competitive" as soon as you graduate. And do take advantage of the counseling center on campus to both help you figure out your path and to help you deal with your parents. Once you have explored more, taken more classes and know your intending career field better, you will be better able to articulate your passion for the field to your parents. If they want what's best for you and what makes you happy, they will then be able to get on board with the life choices you make if that passion comes through.

I also really like your advice. I will definitely wait until I am 100% sure of myself before I tell them. It's just irritating because my dad keeps telling everyone I'm going to be a neurologist =_= I already knew that pre-med students are able to major in anything. That's why I am majoring in Psychology.
I'm positive being a Lawyer would stress me out more than a doctor. Public speaking is a weak point for me. And I would get supremely frazzled. And I'm not interested in being an Engineer at all. I like math, but physics bores me. I know I want to do something that helps people.. and I know that a lot of people want to help people and it sounds really idealistic and cliché - but it's true. I can't see myself fitting into any other type of job mold. Psychology feels special to me... I mean.. I don't know how to explain it. The mind fascinates me. For me, the mind is what makes us human. And I want to understand that. I could never imagine myself being trained to be a businesswoman, nurse, shop owner, computer programmer...what have you. They all feel too ordinary for me. I don't want to settle for something that is practical because I will feel useless.
I'll try to breathe in the meantime.

 

[bluebelle]

A lot of good insight from others on this thread. I agree with what Mark and others have said about not being able to avoid the things that worry you about med school by going to grad school. My grad school experience was nothing short of a nightmare. While I admit my program was probably worse than most, all programs have some element of this. Professors were cruel and constantly berated us. We were second guessed constantly. I remember my first supervisor listening to audiotapes of my sessions and criticizing literally every word choice I made. Grad school can be extremely high pressure.

I also want to stress to you that there is no reason you have to make a decision on this now. That's why every college lets people start as "undecided" or "undeclared" if they wish. If there is even a part of you considering medical school, take classes in a way that won't close that door to you. Back in the day when I was an undergrad, the only difference between premed and liberal arts/social science majors during the freshman year was that premeds took a slightly more demanding version of calculus and a chemsitry class (rather than a "fluffy" science class for non-majors). During the first year, you will likely be taking general education requirements, like English. It is a time to get a sense of what really interests you.

You don't have enough information at this point to know what it is like to be a psychology major, nevermind a psychologist. Without taking college-level psychology (one AP psych class in high school doesn't count) you don't even really know that you like psychology all that much. People have a lot of misconceptions about the major and the field. When I was an undergrad, some of my engineering friends took a psych class to fullfill a requirement. They thought it would be cake. The got C's because it was much harder than they expected and it wasn't the way their brain worked.

Colleges typically have free or low cost confidential counseling services available to their students. When you get to school, you might consider checking into this to talk about your relationship with your parents and find some strategies for dealing with them around the issue of your major. My parents also wanted me to be a "real" doctor. They still occassionally make a jab about that. Oh well. It's my life and I decided to be a clinical psychologist.

Enjoy your first year of college. You have plenty of time to worry about the rest of your life.

Best,
Dr. E

I realize that grad school isn't easy. That's why this is a difficult decision. I don't know if I'm wrong on this idea but (and please correct me if I am wrong) - to me, grad school seems like it would be a quieter environment to be in. I like to take my time and think about things... med school seems extremely fast paced and noisy. I also like the idea of developing my own ideas as opposed to learning every detail about the human body. I think I would lose my motivation in that setting.
I am not looking for something easy. I'm looking for something that will suit me as a person and will make me happy. I do not intend to major in psychology because I think it is "easy". I just don't want to make a mistake... I realize some things fall into place but I also need to be proactive about this.

 

[Ollie123]

Some random thoughts you may want to consider based on things you have said you dislike about other fields:
1) Psychology will invariably involve public speaking with relative frequency. There is a good chance you will be teaching a class at some point in grad school that could range from 20 on up to several hundred. Even if not, you be doing group therapy, etc.
2) You mentioned the stress of a resident being questioned about a patient. How would you feel about sitting with a half dozen people while they watch videos of your therapy session and your supervisor points out everything you do wrong, from what you say, to how you sit? This is called group supervision, and I can also virtually guarantee it will happen at some point during graduate training

Obviously I'm not trying to deter you, as I (along with I imagine, many others here) opted for psychology over medicine. But its important to know what you are getting into.

Both important things to consider before opting for psychology.

 

[bluebelle]

You won't be happy always being stressed, quite the opposite, you'll be miserable. Find something you really enjoy (but don't quite love) and become the best in the world at it. Usually that will lead you down a path and result in a level of success you can be happy with.

.

Why is it better to find something I enjoy rather than find something I love ?

 

[bluebelle]

Some random thoughts you may want to consider based on things you have said you dislike about other fields:
1) Psychology will invariably involve public speaking with relative frequency. There is a good chance you will be teaching a class at some point in grad school that could range from 20 on up to several hundred. Even if not, you be doing group therapy, etc.
2) You mentioned the stress of a resident being questioned about a patient. How would you feel about sitting with a half dozen people while they watch videos of your therapy session and your supervisor points out everything you do wrong, from what you say, to how you sit? This is called group supervision, and I can also virtually guarantee it will happen at some point during graduate training

Obviously I'm not trying to deter you, as I (along with I imagine, many others here) opted for psychology over medicine. But its important to know what you are getting into.

Both important things to consider before opting for psychology.

Thanks for being honest.. I appreciate it. The second point doesn't scare me as much as the first. *Sigh* I feel like I can't fit into anything .... So all psych grad schools are like that? Even the research oriented ones?

 

[bluebelle]

Thanks to everyone who answered my question. This is really helpful.. I still feel unsure but hopefully I'll figure it out...
Also please feel free to continue the discussion! I would really like to keep talking about this.

 

[roubs]

Thanks for being honest.. I appreciate it. The second point doesn't scare me as much as the first. *Sigh* I feel like I can't fit into anything .... So all psych grad schools are like that? Even the research oriented ones?

Especially the research ones. But as a senior in high school I wouldn't let that point deter you. By the time you are a Ph.D. student you will have the competence and confidence to teach undergrads. Sure it's possible it still won't be your thing in 5-6 years but many people who don't like teaching still get through it just fine.

 

[TNS1991]

What I would suggest is major in psychology and see which classes interest you the most. Do you know if your school offers a psychology class that specifically talks about the different fields, job opportunities, etc? This is usually a very good way to learn about the psychology field. Right now I would look into psychology jobs and similar fields to see the training and courses that are needed. If you see yourself as a psychologist and not anything else- then this is more than likely a good field for you. Also, remember that there are many other jobs that psychology can come in handy, so if you feel after a few of the comments on here that psych. is not what you want, you do not have to ditch psychology just because you do not major in it.

 

[Occlumentia]

The mind fascinates me. For me, the mind is what makes us human. And I want to understand that.

Hey OP, when I first started a Psych degree straight out of high school, I felt pretty much the same way you describe here. ...then I was hit with statistics, the many, MANY sides of the field, conflicting theories, animal research, ethics, psychometrics, etc - where was that exploration of the *mind* that I so craved?? So I dropped out and changed to a more humanities-based degree, related to philosophy, where I got to ponder heaps of interesting questions, such as what makes us human (and is there an "us", actually?), what is consciousness, brain vs mind, the history of "madness", etc - I *loved* it.

Then, armed with some understanding of the bigger, more abstract issues, I once again went into Psychology, and I can truly say that I, personally, have gotten much more out of it now, the second time around (perhaps because I developed a context for psychology). I'm not in the US so the education system is somewhat different, but perhaps you could take some philosophy/cultural studies (look for history and philosophy of science type stuff) units during your time at college, in addition to whatever classes you need to take to get either into med school/grad school - it sounds like you'd get a lot of out this, regardless of what you choose to pursue later.

 

[futureapppsy2]

OP:

Like others have said, you don't have to figure it out today. Ancedotally, I can only think of maybe 3-4 people I know who graduated with the same major they started with. Most people, including me, switched majors, sometimes multiple times. Even many grad students I know have switched career foci (wanting a primarily research career to wanting a primarily clinical career or vice versa) or changed their research interests somewhat in grad school. Of course, you will need an idea of what you want to do eventually and it probably should become more solid over time, but you don't need to get it all figured out now.Take classes, do internships, practica,

 

[Doctor Eliza]

I realize that grad school isn't easy. That's why this is a difficult decision. I don't know if I'm wrong on this idea but (and please correct me if I am wrong) - to me, grad school seems like it would be a quieter environment to be in. I like to take my time and think about things... med school seems extremely fast paced and noisy. I also like the idea of developing my own ideas as opposed to learning every detail about the human body. I think I would lose my motivation in that setting.
I am not looking for something easy. I'm looking for something that will suit me as a person and will make me happy. I do not intend to major in psychology because I think it is "easy". I just don't want to make a mistake... I realize some things fall into place but I also need to be proactive about this.

Hmmm...maybe. The thing about grad school is that it is less structured and milestones are less concrete. You graduate med school when you earn the right grades over 4 years. You pass your dissertation and graduate grad school when your committee decides you are ready and your project is good enough. The down side of that is it can really drag out your program. In grad school I was so jealous of my friends in med school who got to study for and pass tests in order to graduate rather than hope that personal conflicts among their committee members wouldn't delay their graduation.

That said, I wouldn't choose a career based on grad school or med school experience. It is only a decade of your life. It sucks to lose those good years of your life, but with either career, you are essentially committing to losing your 20s.

Sorry to be so negative about careers in clinical psychology. Honestly, I was premed and switched to psych. If I could do it again, I would have become a physician instead of psychologist. Don't let my negative attitude rain on your parade.

Dr. E

 

[wigflip]

A few additional thoughts for the OP:

1. I don't recall if you specified whether you are in or near a major metro center, but if you are, there are probably one or more large universities in the area. The benefit of big schools is that they often have big lecture halls to accommodate all the students who want to take classes in popular majors like psych or premed. If a lecture hall holds hundreds of students, no one is going to notice little old you auditing in the back row--enough students cut class that there will be empty seats every day except the first day of class. Sitting in on classes won't necessarily inform you about the career paths associated with various majors, but it might be helpful to get more of a feel for what more advanced study entails (most of my upper division classes enrolled a minimum of 200 students).

2. I agree with what most folks above have said about parents. One of the hardest things I learned was that my particular set of parents didn't really know much about how the world actually worked, who I was, or what would make me happy. They were well-meaning people with severe limitations. Yours may or may not be the same, and I realize that the matter of selecting an undergrad major may be especially sticky if your folks are paying the tuition bills (if you are paying, either now or later via student loans, they really should have no say). In my opinion, attempting to teach your parents that they don't always know what's best for you is one of the hardest parts of growing up. I do know that in my particular case, in the long run I've never been made happy by following others' advice at the expense of listening to my true self.

3. I haven't yet read it, but some on sdn have suggested reading: The Successful Therapist: Your Guide to Building the Career You've Always Wanted.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

1. You have plenty of time to change your major 6 times, so take some classes across majors and see if anything catches your interest.

2. Money is a consideration, but if you can avoid taking on debt during your graduate training it can be a comfortable career path.

3. Graduate school for clinical psychology can be quite stress and anxiety provoking, which is something that many students underestimate, so it is good that you are asking about the experience now. I found that my stress was mostly about meeting longer-term deadlines and responsibilities, instead of classes..exams...classes...exams, etc. It is very much a marathon v. sprint because many people will spend multiple years working on a research project or working in a particular clinic.

 

[deleted176373]

Why is it better to find something I enjoy rather than find something I love ?

Things you love make better hobbies than careers. Do something you love long enough and you may begin to resent the fact that you can no longer do it only because you love to do it, but because you are required to do it. Additionally, you can experience burnout as a result. Now you can't turn to the thing you love for release and it's possible that what you used to love will lose it's special shine or even become a bit of a burden. How many depressed patients will you have to see before you decide you don't "love" psychology anymore? How long will it take you to become cynical about certain pathology (e.g. Borderlines) before you decide you can't stand working with them (and many practitioners report not wishing to work with specific types of pathology)? Burnout is common in many helping professions.

I am not saying this will happen, but it does happen with some regularity. I wish you the best of luck with your choices and I do hope that you figure out a career that you can really enjoy every day of your life (including the possibility of psychology). It's nice to look forward to going to work, it's unrealistic to believe that every day will be lollipops and roses. There are days that you will absolutely not wish to go to work. Those are the days where it's better to like your job as opposed to loving your job.

M

 

[sabaijae]

Hey OP, when I first started a Psych degree straight out of high school, I felt pretty much the same way you describe here. ...then I was hit with statistics, the many, MANY sides of the field, conflicting theories, animal research, ethics, psychometrics, etc - where was that exploration of the *mind* that I so craved?? So I dropped out and changed to a more humanities-based degree, related to philosophy, where I got to ponder heaps of interesting questions, such as what makes us human (and is there an "us", actually?), what is consciousness, brain vs mind, the history of "madness", etc - I *loved* it.

Then, armed with some understanding of the bigger, more abstract issues, I once again went into Psychology, and I can truly say that I, personally, have gotten much more out of it now, the second time around (perhaps because I developed a context for psychology). I'm not in the US so the education system is somewhat different, but perhaps you could take some philosophy/cultural studies (look for history and philosophy of science type stuff) units during your time at college, in addition to whatever classes you need to take to get either into med school/grad school - it sounds like you'd get a lot of out this, regardless of what you choose to pursue later.

Similar to the above, for some reason (likely growing up in a very multicultural neighborhood) I couldnt allow myself to pursue psychology unless I first studied "the mind" in other contexts - which is why I chose anthropology to start out with (and I'm happy that I did).

Also similar to the above, I pursued anthropology in the UK, which allowed for specialized study/research quite early on.

 

[bluebelle]

Everyone's right. I don't have to figure it out today.. I'm just one of those people who want answers now! Haha. But that would make life too easy.

 

[bluebelle]

A few additional thoughts for the OP:

1. I don't recall if you specified whether you are in or near a major metro center, but if you are, there are probably one or more large universities in the area. The benefit of big schools is that they often have big lecture halls to accommodate all the students who want to take classes in popular majors like psych or premed. If a lecture hall holds hundreds of students, no one is going to notice little old you auditing in the back row--enough students cut class that there will be empty seats every day except the first day of class. Sitting in on classes won't necessarily inform you about the career paths associated with various majors, but it might be helpful to get more of a feel for what more advanced study entails (most of my upper division classes enrolled a minimum of 200 students).

2. I agree with what most folks above have said about parents. One of the hardest things I learned was that my particular set of parents didn't really know much about how the world actually worked, who I was, or what would make me happy. They were well-meaning people with severe limitations. Yours may or may not be the same, and I realize that the matter of selecting an undergrad major may be especially sticky if your folks are paying the tuition bills (if you are paying, either now or later via student loans, they really should have no say). In my opinion, attempting to teach your parents that they don't always know what's best for you is one of the hardest parts of growing up. I do know that in my particular case, in the long run I've never been made happy by following others' advice at the expense of listening to my true self.

3. I haven't yet read it, but some on sdn have suggested reading: The Successful Therapist: Your Guide to Building the Career You've Always Wanted.

1. I will attending a small university in Honolulu, so no big lecture halls for me.

2. Yeah, I feel similarly about my parents. "We've already paid a lot of money for high school, so don't waste it by picking some stupid career!!" It's difficult to make them understand. I don't know how to retaliate without sounding like a kid, either.

3. Thanks! I'll check it out!

 

[bluebelle]

Things you love make better hobbies than careers. Do something you love long enough and you may begin to resent the fact that you can no longer do it only because you love to do it, but because you are required to do it. Additionally, you can experience burnout as a result. Now you can't turn to the thing you love for release and it's possible that what you used to love will lose it's special shine or even become a bit of a burden. How many depressed patients will you have to see before you decide you don't "love" psychology anymore? How long will it take you to become cynical about certain pathology (e.g. Borderlines) before you decide you can't stand working with them (and many practitioners report not wishing to work with specific types of pathology)? Burnout is common in many helping professions.

I am not saying this will happen, but it does happen with some regularity. I wish you the best of luck with your choices and I do hope that you figure out a career that you can really enjoy every day of your life (including the possibility of psychology). It's nice to look forward to going to work, it's unrealistic to believe that every day will be lollipops and roses. There are days that you will absolutely not wish to go to work. Those are the days where it's better to like your job as opposed to loving your job.

M

I see. That makes sense. I mean, my real passion is singing, but I realized I could never make that my career for the reasons you explain above. (Also, considering I'm not the best singer in the world.... I wouldn't be able to support myself. ) So that will always be my comfort. When considering psychology vs. pre med, I feel as if I would be more susceptible to burnout as a pre-med student/doctor. Burnout is also a high probability when being a psychologist, like you said.... and I have no idea whether that will happen to me or not.

 

[deleted176373]

Knowing you are vulnerable to burnout is half the battle.