Help with Personal Statement from Been-there Done-thats

[Winkie]

I apologize for stepping out of bounds and entering a physician/resident forum, however I am currently trying to compose my personal statement for my re-application to DO (I am waitlisted at LECOM-Erie)/MD schools and need some help. I am a non-trad (old) that is serious about serving the underserved. I have been inspired by the incredibly hard-working, intelligent women who work for my family's business to follow through on a long term dream. Unfortunately, as a small business, we do not offer health insurance and, because they know I am a paramedic, they come to me for health advice. I have had to arrange for them to get teeth pulled at local free clinics, I've sent them to the drug store to speak with the pharmacist about skin rashes and directed them to the ED when needed. Of course, I am extremely limited in the ways I can help them and know they suffer. My question is would it come across as obnoxious to talk about these women and how I have witnessed a huge need for healthcare in the immigrant population? How the ED is used for problems that could be resolved in an office visit and how no one follows these patients, they never see any one physician repeatedly? What do you think? Being a white, middle-class person, I don't want to come across like I am assuming I know what it is like to be in their shoes, because I don't, but I am very sincere in wanting to someday help people like them in a greater capacity as a physician.

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[EdibleEgg]

I apologize for stepping out of bounds and entering a physician/resident forum, however I am currently trying to compose my personal statement for my re-application to DO (I am waitlisted at LECOM-Erie)/MD schools and need some help. I am a non-trad (old) that is serious about serving the underserved. I have been inspired by the incredibly hard-working, intelligent women who work for my family's business to follow through on a long term dream. Unfortunately, as a small business, we do not offer health insurance and, because they know I am a paramedic, they come to me for health advice. I have had to arrange for them to get teeth pulled at local free clinics, I've sent them to the drug store to speak with the pharmacist about skin rashes and directed them to the ED when needed. Of course, I am extremely limited in the ways I can help them and know they suffer. My question is would it come across as obnoxious to talk about these women and how I have witnessed a huge need for healthcare in the immigrant population? How the ED is used for problems that could be resolved in an office visit and how no one follows these patients, they never see any one physician repeatedly? What do you think? Being a white, middle-class person, I don't want to come across like I am assuming I know what it is like to be in their shoes, because I don't, but I am very sincere in wanting to someday help people like them in a greater capacity as a physician.

Nope, not obnoxious. The above post is a good start. Just know that 90% of personal statements tell some sort of similar story, most students seem to forget about it before the match.... Good luck.