Hook vs. Summary/Intro for PS

[uphillBattle]

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I typically write PS with a hook intro i.e. launching into the middle of an experience by setting the context, describing things around me, etc.

I've received conflicting feedback about this from readers.

1. From College Med counselor reading the PS:

Hooks are overused and some people may not like being thrust directly into a situation. A cleverly worded summary is better to set the reader on the path.

2. From a professional reader from SDN:

Hooks capture the attention of a bored adcom. Go with the hook.

I like the idea of a hook but don't want to do an overused intro. I have both types of intros written out.

Thoughts on either type?

 

[TheShaker]

According to my premed advisor who serves on the adcom at a CA school, the "story" opening is somewhat of a cliche at this point. It's not something that will instantly grab somebody's attention because it appears in so many personal statements but it's not going to count against you. Make it engaging and you'll be fine but expect it to be the standard and not something that will make you unique.

I didn't write my PS very well so I won't give my own input, I'm just paraphrasing what my advisor told me.

 

[uphillBattle]

According to my premed advisor who serves on the adcom at a CA school, the "story" opening is somewhat of a cliche at this point. It's not something that will instantly grab somebody's attention because it appears in so many personal statements but it's not going to count against you. Make it engaging and you'll be fine but expect it to be the standard and not something that will make you unique.

I didn't write my PS very well so I won't give my own input, I'm just paraphrasing what my advisor told me.

Any input on a summary type opening?

 

[La Presse]

From my perspective, I feel that the hook intro for a personal statement is somewhat expected. Dr. Freedman of MedEdits said previously that your personal statement should reflect your passion and rationale for becoming a physician. By the context presented, it seemed that she was almost against the summary format (i.e. 1 line for research, 1 line for volunteering, etc.).

Additionally, it seems that everyone uses the beginning of their PS to captivate the reader by employing a hook. This certainly helps ground you as you weave a literary tale about your experience in the wards, or perhaps helping to develop new treatments under the direction of a PI, or even a long-term leadership role at a company, business, or club.

I doubt it even matters, as long as your story is compelling and error-free. There is actually a book by Dr. Iserson published by Galen Press that devotes an entire chapter on PS and methodology. Within the chapter, Dr. Iserson includes a compilation of personal statements belonging to students who have been accepted to medical school. Interestingly, the formats and writing styles of each statement were very inconsistent (as should be); some read very informally by using a set of questions and answers using bullet points while others were in the more traditional arrangement.

Just do what you feel is the most attractive while not losing your voice as the author of your candidacy. And when in doubt, you can always ask for direction here from proofreaders. 🙂

 

[NickNaylor]

Despite its overuse I would recommend a more personal "hook" over a lame summary. At least with that approach you have the chance to share a more intimate reason for getting into the profession, which I think is valuable (assuming it's substantive and not something ridiculous).

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I717

 

[cookiemonsters]

As long as you have good stats/ECs, I don't think your PS will matter all that much... unless it completely sucks of course.

Most PSs have hooks, I don't think anybody is holding it against you if yours does too.

 

[circulus vitios]

Schools have read literally thousands of personal statements per year for multiple years. Unless you write at a third grade level or you're a professional author, no one is going to care about the kind of cliched garbage you will invariably write about. Do your best to slap together the customary "I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR BECAUSE I LOVE SCIENCE AND MY AMAZING CLINICAL EXPERIENCES REAFFIRM MY CHOICE TO GO INTO MEDICINE" steaming pile of crap and submit it.

 

[as1212559]

Everyone seriously needs to get over the idea of your PS standing out from the crowd based on the style in which it is written. They read thousands of them. People use hooks. People use summaries. Neither is ground-breaking.

I wrote a hook style intro. I personally think they feel more personal.

You need a strong personal statement, not necessarily a unique one. 22 year old pre-meds tend to be quite similar, despite our beliefs otherwise. Write a strong statement, make it feel personal, and play up anything you feel is integral for your desire to become a physician. If it is well written, personable, and depicts your desire to be a physician honestly it will serve you well.

No one is getting a pulitzer for these things.

 

[NickNaylor]

Schools have read literally thousands of personal statements per year for multiple years. Unless you write at a third grade level or you're a professional author, no one is going to care about the kind of cliched garbage you will invariably write about. Do your best to slap together the customary "I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR BECAUSE I LOVE SCIENCE AND MY AMAZING CLINICAL EXPERIENCES REAFFIRM MY CHOICE TO GO INTO MEDICINE" steaming pile of crap and submit it.

Everyone seriously needs to get over the idea of your PS standing out from the crowd based on the style in which it is written. They read thousands of them. People use hooks. People use summaries. Neither is ground-breaking.

I wrote a hook style intro. I personally think they feel more personal.

You need a strong personal statement, not necessarily a unique one. 22 year old pre-meds tend to be quite similar, despite our beliefs otherwise. Write a strong statement, make it feel personal, and play up anything you feel is integral for your desire to become a physician. If it is well written, personable, and depicts your desire to be a physician honestly it will serve you well.

No one is getting a pulitzer for these things.

Definitely agree with this - a successful PS is not necessarily one that stands out, but is one that doesn't affect you negatively. 90% of people are going to write an "ok" PS - good enough to not screen you out, but not excellent enough to really stand out. 5% will write truly outstanding PSs, and 5% will write truly terrible PSs. Try and be in that 90%. If you're thinking of trying to be in the unique (in a good way) top 5%, you will most likely end up in the unique bottom 5% because very few people can execute a well-done, truly interesting, and non-generic PS. The people writing the very successful PSs generally have interesting experiences or backgrounds that most applicants don't have. That's why they're usually successful and why most people that try to do this aren't.

 

[Pons Asinorum]

Schools have read literally thousands of personal statements per year for multiple years. Unless you write at a third grade level or you're a professional author, no one is going to care about the kind of cliched garbage you will invariably write about. Do your best to slap together the customary "I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR BECAUSE I LOVE SCIENCE AND MY AMAZING CLINICAL EXPERIENCES REAFFIRM MY CHOICE TO GO INTO MEDICINE" steaming pile of crap and submit it.

Most purely distilled, beautiful piece of truth that will appear on SDN today. Premeds, take note.

 

[EmergDoc2B]

Definitely agree with this - a successful PS is not necessarily one that stands out, but is one that doesn't affect you negatively. 90% of people are going to write an "ok" PS - good enough to not screen you out, but not excellent enough to really stand out. 5% will write truly outstanding PSs, and 5% will write truly terrible PSs. Try and be in that 90%. If you're thinking of trying to be in the unique (in a good way) top 5%, you will most likely end up in the unique bottom 5% because very few people can execute a well-done, truly interesting and non-generic PS.

I recently sat in on a meeting with NIH funded R1 researchers. They all said some pretty interesting things that I found parallel adcoms who read PS's. Each grant writer said that you need to get to the point fast (brevity) with your main idea ( I am the right person for medschool/ your med school in our case). Then support that statement with facts and evidence. They encounter the same issues we as pre meds do. A person is reading a boat load of grant applications and skims them over. Sounds pretty familiar. I personally used the hook method and looking back I would have tried this method instead. These folks read so many statements that you need to get to the point quick and then support it with facts. Leave out the fluff because its not appreciated. This was my lesson from professional writers who are world renowned researchers.

good luck to you.

 

[EmergDoc2B]

Most purely distilled, beautiful piece of truth that will appear on SDN today. Premeds, take note.

👍

 

[Pons Asinorum]

Definitely agree with this - a successful PS is not necessarily one that stands out, but is one that doesn't affect you negatively. 90% of people are going to write an "ok" PS - good enough to not screen you out, but not excellent enough to really stand out. 5% will write truly outstanding PSs, and 5% will write truly terrible PSs. Try and be in that 90%. If you're thinking of trying to be in the unique (in a good way) top 5%, you will most likely end up in the unique bottom 5% because very few people can execute a well-done, truly interesting, and non-generic PS. The people writing the very successful PSs generally have interesting experiences or backgrounds that most applicants don't have. That's why they're usually successful and why most people that try to do this aren't.

I'm pretty sure I've read you writing that same thing for the last 2 years/3 cycles. It never gets less true. Unfortunately, lacking a path towards reinforcing the "but I'm pretty sure I'm actually special" meme, it (still) goes unheeded (real application PS's this cycle made this painfully obvious.)

 

[NickNaylor]

I'm pretty sure I've read you writing that same thing for the last 2 years/3 cycles. It never gets less true. Unfortunately, lacking a path towards reinforcing the "but I'm pretty sure I'm actually special" meme, it (still) goes unheeded (real application PS's this cycle made this painfully obvious.)

Yup - I and others say it, and yet no one believes it because, of course, we aren't talking to them. Maybe they'll believe it when their PS is total garbage.

 

[NontradCA]

I think PS advice is highly overrated.

 

[Pons Asinorum]

Maybe they'll believe it when their PS is total garbage.

Feedback mechanism for this is unfortunately non-existant. No one reads their PS self-critically enough, their roommate (their one proofreader) isn't a dick enough to tell them it stinks, and the impression of the adcomm doesn't have a path back to them.

Don't make your PS awesome, make it not terrible. Mission accomplished.

 

[NickNaylor]

I think PS advice is highly overrated.

This is true to a certain extent about any application advice. The reality is that the person that can best complete the app is the applicant. Only they know themselves well enough and know what activities, experiences, etc. are important in their decision to become a physician. Only they know which activities to list as "most important," what to say about each activity, and all that other stuff.

It is no surprise that the people who need their hands held throughout this process - from "zomg which classes do I take" to "zomg how do I prep for the MCAT" to "zomg is this W going to kill my chances????" and even beyond as this continues with step 1 prep - generally don't do well. These people look for some magical formula that they think that will work for them, usually in the form of some mana from heaven provided by people that have been successful at (insert step of the process here). It won't. But people are too stubborn and lacking self-confidence to either realize that or be willing to take the risks necessary to make a great app.

 

[Mt Kilimanjaro]

It is no surprise that the people who need their hands held throughout this process - from "zomg which classes do I take" to "zomg how do I prep for the MCAT" to "zomg is this W going to kill my chances????" and even beyond as this continues with step 1 prep - generally don't do well. These people look for some magical formula that they think that will work for them, usually in the form of some mana from heaven provided by people that have been successful at (insert step of the process here). It won't. But people are too stubborn and lacking self-confidence to either realize that or be willing to take the risks necessary to make a great app.

ITT: NickNaylor body slams 90% of posts on SDN pre-allo.

Thank you!

 

[lobo.solo]

This is true to a certain extent about any application advice. The reality is that the person that can best complete the app is the applicant. Only they know themselves well enough and know what activities, experiences, etc. are important in their decision to become a physician. Only they know which activities to list as "most important," what to say about each activity, and all that other stuff.

It is no surprise that the people who need their hands held throughout this process - from "zomg which classes do I take" to "zomg how do I prep for the MCAT" to "zomg is this W going to kill my chances????" and even beyond as this continues with step 1 prep - generally don't do well. These people look for some magical formula that they think that will work for them, usually in the form of some mana from heaven provided by people that have been successful at (insert step of the process here). It won't. But people are too stubborn and lacking self-confidence to either realize that or be willing to take the risks necessary to make a great app.

Dang!! So harsh

 

[earf]

This is true to a certain extent about any application advice. The reality is that the person that can best complete the app is the applicant. Only they know themselves well enough and know what activities, experiences, etc. are important in their decision to become a physician. Only they know which activities to list as "most important," what to say about each activity, and all that other stuff.

It is no surprise that the people who need their hands held throughout this process - from "zomg which classes do I take" to "zomg how do I prep for the MCAT" to "zomg is this W going to kill my chances????" and even beyond as this continues with step 1 prep - generally don't do well. These people look for some magical formula that they think that will work for them, usually in the form of some mana from heaven provided by people that have been successful at (insert step of the process here). It won't. But people are too stubborn and lacking self-confidence to either realize that or be willing to take the risks necessary to make a great app.

If you weren't afraid to post a question about your application on SDN before, be afraid now.

 

[NickNaylor]

Dang!! So harsh

If you weren't afraid to post a question about your application on SDN before, be afraid now.

Don't get me wrong, asking questions and seeking out help is definitely something people should be willing to do. I know I benefited immensely from things like SDN when I was applying. I think where people go astray, though, is when they want to be guided at every turn throughout all aspects of the process. They have no ability to filter out what is useful to them specifically and, instead, would rather they just be told what to do. In other words, they're more than willing to do the work, but they either can't or won't figure out what they actually need to do. These people tend to be the kind of people that definitely have the work ethic necessary to succeed (i.e., they're hard workers), but they don't know how to "work smart."

Asking for advice is definitely not a negative. There comes a point, though, where no amount of advice is going to help some people because it's evident that they actually have no idea what's going on.

 

[UrbanRiver]

I used a anecdotal hook and it was fine. Actually, my PS took me a lonnngg way in this cycle. Don't use a hook for the sake of using a hook. Cliches work but you need to package it in a mature, humble, sincere way.. or else it just feels like a high school essay. If you're a good writer and have a meaningful anecdote that was actually really formative for you.. don't be afraid to use it. Just be really clear about what you learned...draw out the conclusions from that experience for your readers.. donntt be vague or else it feels fake and annoying for your readers..and finally, connect that anecdote with your larger life lessons. In other words, dont make that anecdote your ultimate epiphany of why you want to go to med school. Its just one experience.. but it can help make that overall reason more personal and genuine.. if done well. Good luckkk

Sent from my DROID RAZR using SDN Mobile

 

[survivordo]

I think it is a rare occasion where your personal statement really helps you. Alternatively, if you write like a 3rd grader or do something completely off the wall, you will get noticed in a negative way. Hook or summary you are fine, consider not standing out as a success.

Survivor DO

 

[earf]

Don't get me wrong, asking questions and seeking out help is definitely something people should be willing to do. I know I benefited immensely from things like SDN when I was applying. I think where people go astray, though, is when they want to be guided at every turn throughout all aspects of the process. They have no ability to filter out what is useful to them specifically and, instead, would rather they just be told what to do. In other words, they're more than willing to do the work, but they either can't or won't figure out what they actually need to do. These people tend to be the kind of people that definitely have the work ethic necessary to succeed (i.e., they're hard workers), but they don't know how to "work smart."

Asking for advice is definitely not a negative. There comes a point, though, where no amount of advice is going to help some people because it's evident that they actually have no idea what's going on.

Well said. That and every other post you have on SDN have been worded so well. You have a gift.

Yes, OP use a hook if you know how to write a compelling one unless you can find a better alternative intro. Get to the point at the beginning so they don't have to keep guessing though. Also, one of the dean of admissions from a school I interviewed at said she hates it when students use BANG, POP or any other onomatopoeia as a hook and said that she's read it many, many times, so try not to do that.

 

[saveourpens]

A summary for an intro would be pretty boring but a hook that sounds forced would be pretty bad as well. Most every PS I've read has cringe worthy generalities and/or too many lofty phrases.

If I have any advice it is to be simple, ie don't talk about the immense gratitude you are sure patients felt when giving them some crackers in the ER.

Be humble and people will gravitate towards your PS.

 

[uphillBattle]

Nice to see so many responses.

I've worked in shelters, corporate and clinics and my PS tries to show that.

As for the hook, it isn't tied to a specific event but more starts off with a typical night when I used to work in the shelters. Mind you, that didn't show me I wanted to do medicine and thats not how I structured the anecdote.

My summary intro also shies away from describing what I did at every single step. It briefly puts my progression in one sentence and then I focus on the experience that started it all, leading to my second paragraph where I elaborate on it and move on from there.

I don't normally use summary intros but I tried to structure it in a way that would keep it interesting.

I'll keep both on the burner and see how other readers feel and then make a decision I guess.

 

[Narmerguy]

Despite its overuse I would recommend a more personal "hook" over a lame summary. At least with that approach you have the chance to share a more intimate reason for getting into the profession, which I think is valuable (assuming it's substantive and not something ridiculous).

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I717

Schools have read literally thousands of personal statements per year for multiple years. Unless you write at a third grade level or you're a professional author, no one is going to care about the kind of cliched garbage you will invariably write about. Do your best to slap together the customary "I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR BECAUSE I LOVE SCIENCE AND MY AMAZING CLINICAL EXPERIENCES REAFFIRM MY CHOICE TO GO INTO MEDICINE" steaming pile of crap and submit it.

Haha, I would have to agree that there are very few (if any) unique remaining reasons to want to be a physician. It's a cool profession, but it's not exactly a new one that's reinventing itself every 5 years.

I think that the hook is probably used quite commonly, but people could benefit from producing variations on the hook. Not every hook has to be some in media res story of the applicant's ground shaking interaction with a patient/family member.

A summary for an intro would be pretty boring but a hook that sounds forced would be pretty bad as well. Most every PS I've read has cringe worthy generalities and/or too many lofty phrases.

If I have any advice it is to be simple, ie don't talk about the immense gratitude you are sure patients felt when giving them some crackers in the ER.

Be humble and people will gravitate towards your PS.

I have to agree with this. The PS's that I've read have all been "over-reaching" a bit. It's OK to be a normal person in these things. In fact, the kind of self-reflection it takes to acknowledge that one is a normal person who is caught up in all the realities of life and medicine can make for a refreshing, honest statement that humanizes the writer and makes you want to meet them.

 

[NickNaylor]

A summary for an intro would be pretty boring but a hook that sounds forced would be pretty bad as well. Most every PS I've read has cringe worthy generalities and/or too many lofty phrases.

If I have any advice it is to be simple, ie don't talk about the immense gratitude you are sure patients felt when giving them some crackers in the ER.

Be humble and people will gravitate towards your PS.

Agree 1000% with you and Narmer above. This advice is applicable to the entire process as well. By accepting what you've got to show on your app and focusing how best to discuss those things is more likely to yield success that trying to play up your experiences and make them into something they're not. There's also SO much value in how the message is presented. Using a humble, personable, and perhaps even "simple" approach in both the app and interviews goes a very long way.

Sent from my Nexus 7

 

[EmergDoc2B]

I think a conclusion for an intro is where you need to be these days.

 

[DokterMom]

It's OK to be a normal person in these things. In fact, the kind of self-reflection it takes to acknowledge that one is a normal person who is caught up in all the realities of life and medicine can make for a refreshing, honest statement that humanizes the writer and makes you want to meet them.

Unless you're truly a 'zebra', don't pretend to be.
Just position yourself as a darned good horse.

 

[uphillBattle]

Should the PS be written as a standalone piece?

Reason I ask is because there are experiences which I want to develop in my PS which laid the groundwork for events later on which THEN made me want to medicine. Some of these initial events are important so I spent an entire paragraph on one of them and mentioned its relevance to medicine at the end of the para.