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Hi Everyone,
I wanted to provide a brief update on my situation and ask some advice from you all. Thank you in advance for your help.
If you look back over my posts, you'll see that I've started and stopped pursuing this dream of medicine a few times over the past 5-7 years. I've been stuck in the same place for quite a while now. I had been diagnosed with depression a few times in the past and would take meds for a year before declaring I was fine. I always assumed it would never come back, and I would just move on from there. Well the pattern has only continued, and the episodes have become worse. I recently (and I think correctly) have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. It accounts for the pattern of paralysis I've exhibited over the last several years in making career and even relationship decisions. My tendency is to consider so many factors in the decision-making process that a decision never fully gets made. Many of these factors are not relevant. I can't seem to stick to anything and move my life in a direction. When my commitment to position myself to go back to med school waned at times, I figured it was because the fire had gone out. The reality is that my commitment to many other decisions waned as well. The parallels you can draw from different aspects of my life are pretty apparent. It's been liberating to finally take a step back and acknowledge that I have a disorder and it hasn't all been an anomaly. I am taking meds and seeing a therapist to work on understanding how to live with this so I can lead a productive, fulfilling life.
All that being said, here I am at 30. I feel as though I am seeing my life through a fresh set of eyes, and Im being careful not to make decisions based on where Ive been. I always knew something had to change, and I know Im finally on the right track yet realistic that I will need to work at this every day. I do need to make a decision on whether or not to proceed with applying to med school. I'm not asking anyone to make that decision for me, but I would like to review where I am and get some input on what I would need to do should I move forward.
My previous posts share more about my application, but I will give a brief synopsis here. My research experience is 6 years old, but it includes 4 pubs at Johns Hopkins, 1 of which is in NEJM. Is this outdated? I retook 4 science classes and got As in all of them bringing my GPA to around a 3.2. Note, I would only consider DO and am not objected to taking more classes. I have 6 LORs from science faculty, volunteer coordinator, Hopkins PI, and a DO I shadowed. I need to sit for the MCAT and that will obviously be HUGE for me. Ive volunteered in a number of settings and have good clinical experience from Hopkins. I sat down with my college pre-med advisor last year, and she said my application does have good strengths and uniqueness. She said I was a good candidate for an SMP with a solid MCAT and could make a compelling case as a non-trad.
I know Im not a shoe in, but I really think I should at least finish what I started and apply knowing full well some will think Im nuts. Is there anything else I should do or anything else it would be helpful to know as I continue on?
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. Your input is very much appreciated.
Steve
I wanted to provide a brief update on my situation and ask some advice from you all. Thank you in advance for your help.
If you look back over my posts, you'll see that I've started and stopped pursuing this dream of medicine a few times over the past 5-7 years. I've been stuck in the same place for quite a while now. I had been diagnosed with depression a few times in the past and would take meds for a year before declaring I was fine. I always assumed it would never come back, and I would just move on from there. Well the pattern has only continued, and the episodes have become worse. I recently (and I think correctly) have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. It accounts for the pattern of paralysis I've exhibited over the last several years in making career and even relationship decisions. My tendency is to consider so many factors in the decision-making process that a decision never fully gets made. Many of these factors are not relevant. I can't seem to stick to anything and move my life in a direction. When my commitment to position myself to go back to med school waned at times, I figured it was because the fire had gone out. The reality is that my commitment to many other decisions waned as well. The parallels you can draw from different aspects of my life are pretty apparent. It's been liberating to finally take a step back and acknowledge that I have a disorder and it hasn't all been an anomaly. I am taking meds and seeing a therapist to work on understanding how to live with this so I can lead a productive, fulfilling life.
All that being said, here I am at 30. I feel as though I am seeing my life through a fresh set of eyes, and Im being careful not to make decisions based on where Ive been. I always knew something had to change, and I know Im finally on the right track yet realistic that I will need to work at this every day. I do need to make a decision on whether or not to proceed with applying to med school. I'm not asking anyone to make that decision for me, but I would like to review where I am and get some input on what I would need to do should I move forward.
My previous posts share more about my application, but I will give a brief synopsis here. My research experience is 6 years old, but it includes 4 pubs at Johns Hopkins, 1 of which is in NEJM. Is this outdated? I retook 4 science classes and got As in all of them bringing my GPA to around a 3.2. Note, I would only consider DO and am not objected to taking more classes. I have 6 LORs from science faculty, volunteer coordinator, Hopkins PI, and a DO I shadowed. I need to sit for the MCAT and that will obviously be HUGE for me. Ive volunteered in a number of settings and have good clinical experience from Hopkins. I sat down with my college pre-med advisor last year, and she said my application does have good strengths and uniqueness. She said I was a good candidate for an SMP with a solid MCAT and could make a compelling case as a non-trad.
I know Im not a shoe in, but I really think I should at least finish what I started and apply knowing full well some will think Im nuts. Is there anything else I should do or anything else it would be helpful to know as I continue on?
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. Your input is very much appreciated.
Steve
